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Frustrated
Old 10th August 2019
  #1
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thepilgrimsdream's Avatar
 

Frustrated

Hey guys,

I quit music as my main job about 6-7 years ago. I played guitar, toured with some acts. Was never successful enough to not have to hustle hard. I got married, realized that I couldn't support a family and have a semi-balanced lifestyle while working in music. I've played probably 2 dozen gigs since then, 1 tour, 1 stadium opening for some of todays top pop artists.

My wife became sick after having our first child, she is unable to work, I lost my home, my dogs, I sold all my gear to pay bills. She is doing better, but unable to work. I have a beautiful 20/mo old daughter. I own a coffee business, but am living in a small bedroom at my in-laws. I've been driving over an hour to work everyday, averaging 60-80 hours a week of work, making my bills, but not making enough to get our own place again.

I have an extremely good ear and could notate or play anything I hear note for note(within reason). I'm constantly making up melodies and song ideas, doing rhythm exercises in the car, listening to things way outside my prefered genre. At work I'm distracted by musical idea's. I hate to use the word fantasize, but all I can think about is music. I know the business will grow, I will get out of debt eventually, I'll have more time etc. But this is hard.

Ultimately, I value my wife and daughter more than music, but I'm frustrated by lack of time and space to create. When I come home, I'm too exhausted, and basically have 20 minutes after the baby goes down to play music with headphones on, before I go to bed. I am grateful for life and what God has given me, that my wife is still alive, my daughter is healthy, we have good food. But I still feel an extreme lack of creative fulfillment, something I've tasted and can't have it seems. I know many people have it worse in this world, I just wish I could shake this feeling. Give it up, or be able to jump back in.

Has anyone been here?
Old 10th August 2019
  #2
What im seeing and hearing a lot of people do these days is create music on their phone at times during the day that they normally couldnt. During breaks, on the train, that sort of thing. That might help vent some of the overflow of creative energy your experiencing right now.

I have the opposite problem. I have time, i just don't see what it's worth anymore. It's hard to get motivated and focus on making a track. But i LOVE to fix and build music related equipment. Then it just kinda sits there.
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