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MP3 rough draft Mid Tempo Electronic Ballad Virgin Post :)
Old 15th June 2005
Cool MP3 rough draft Mid Tempo Electronic Ballad Virgin Post :)

this is a song I wrote recently, I havent arranged it, its very rough just layered a bunch of vocals without effects etc, Im looking to re record these parts, add synth and guitars, mix it etc but thought I would have fun and start posting on the site!

Feedback Appreciated


Attached Files

Last Train Monday March 28.mp3 (4.51 MB, 437 views)

Old 16th June 2005
Gear Maniac

sounds like prince with an updated instrumental to me, but less gay. Prince's bassist and drummer are both the sh**!!! I personally don't like it, but that's just me. I'll give some input though. Snare is a bit too up front. Too compressed sounding. Vocals are real thin sounding, but i guess that's what's you're after. The ending is pretty bad. Way too quick, and the whole high note at the end thing isn't working too well. I thought it would go into a big part, but instead it ended abruptly. Slap bass is way too electronic sounding. I think it would be much nicer if it had a bit more of a real bass feel to it. all notes hit at the same velocity.

My 2 cents
Old 16th June 2005
Gear Maniac
powercord's Avatar

how r u gunna compare it to prince, moreover, how are you going to call prince's music gay? very ignorant.
Old 16th June 2005
i agree about the bass etc. I hadnt mixed the track though in regards to mix related issues I dunno about the snare comment as it has no compression, perhaps just an overly compressed sample, I was going for a thin vocal saound but will probably re record some of the vocals, edit them etc. I just wrote the song and forgot about it for a bit, I usually go in and polish things up considerably. I think ill prob change the bass sound and do some velocity variations. My main attraction to the song is the lyric content. What is your suggestion in place of the high note?
Old 16th June 2005
Oh thanks for the commentary I appreciate constructive criticism
Old 16th June 2005
Oh and btw, prince is def not gay, but he does sound like an over sexxed elf at times. I am fan though, hes incredible
Old 17th June 2005
Gear Maniac

no, i agree with prince being good. I enjoy his music, and he's a wonderful guitarist, but i just think he's a bit too.......eccentric, for lack of a better term. I figured that the snare was compressed by whoever recorded the sample, just a gut feeling. At the end, it sort of just leaves you hanging there. Lemme have another listen.....

ok, so i'll add that i really like the kick sample used. I think it fits real good in the song. I also like the bass hit on the first beat of every measure. Def keep that in there. The second snare in there is too weak. maybe layer another one on top of it??

As far as the high notes at the end, i think you could take two directions with it...

-You could kick another chorus in after the highnote and keep it in there.
Or.... you could have the singer (or you) Drop down lower, and end on an intimate vibe. Hope i helped....


by the way, no disrespect for prince, and i know he's not gay......................

I caught him with my momma last night
Old 17th June 2005
im rather new to the production side. This is one of my first tracks in Logic Pro 7. The snare is from ultrabeat in logic i think. Do you think guitars would fit the song well? or pads? I like the high note, not many singers can hit it. the whole thing needs some loving, go through mess with the vocals, the have very little done to them and prob too many layers. I think a nice live bassist would add to the groove considerably and perhaps some drums from Battery 2 <which im loving >
I have a bunch of other songs I dunno why I chose this one to put up. I guess its different for me and I was having time evaluating it clearly as im doing everything on it myself

Thanks for the feedback!

sorry prince shagged your mom Did she enjoy the splendor of lake Minnetonka? <quote from purple rain>
Old 17th June 2005
Gear Maniac

I think the instrumentation is just right. Not too simple, not too elaborate. I think it's a good balance. A live bass player would be real sweet on this. I think you should push up the muted guitar type sound a lil' bit to get that funkiness in there a lil' more. It kind of gets lost in there. I think the vocal sound is good for this track, and it should be left as is. I'm beginning to like this more and more as i listen to it. It would be cool if you kept the high note in at the end, since it is an example of fine vocal skills, but i do think the chorus should repeat after that.
Old 18th June 2005
i agree with you about the chorus part I gotta locate a good bassist now or wait till im in NYC again. Im in houston right now and don't know the local talent. There are some creative things I want to add to the track, im looking forward to getting a new g5 shortly, my powerbook 1.5 has done well for me but I need more power What type of stuff is your specialty?
Old 14th June 2006
Here for the gear
babelfeesh's Avatar

the vocals are way too breathy. the beat is too fast. the drums are reminiscent of a cheesy 80's miami sound machine track. if you are going for a lyrically strong song, this isn't it. and the vocals are way off the beat. thumbs down.
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