The No.1 Website for Pro Audio
Flame suit at the ready... feedback please.
Old 3rd February 2007
  #1
Lives for gear
 
juicylime's Avatar
 

Flame suit at the ready... feedback please.

Here is a song that I once posted here and got flamed to peices. Flame suit at the the ready. I've re-done a rough pre-prod at home alone with the idea that it might be useable for getting musicians on board and approaching publishers or management.

Perfect Day.

Opinions please?
Old 3rd February 2007
  #2
I would have liked to hear more of the acoustic guitar when the song kicks in
Old 3rd February 2007
  #3
Lives for gear
 
dim light's Avatar
 

I think the compression is too much on this one - why?
Old 3rd February 2007
  #4
Lives for gear
 
juicylime's Avatar
 

Mario-c: Do you mean in the verse that comes in after the first electric guitar piece?

Dim-light: Really? I'm no mastering engineer in anyway shape or form but I did push the compression on the mix a bit to try and certain sound. You think it's too much?
Old 3rd February 2007
  #5
Lives for gear
 
dim light's Avatar
 

I'm gay so I'm more interested to sleep with you - forget the song man... you are cute on the avatar!
Old 3rd February 2007
  #6
Lives for gear
 
juicylime's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dim light View Post
I'm gay so I'm more interested to sleep with you - forget the song man... you are cute on the avatar!
Um, I don't quite know what to say, eh.... thanks I guess?! So your quip about the compression was just a chat up line? I must remember that one!!
Old 3rd February 2007
  #7
Lives for gear
 
dim light's Avatar
 

haha i'm drunk!
Old 3rd February 2007
  #8
Lives for gear
 
Cojo's Avatar
 

Hey juicylime, you have a beutiful voice but your inhales is far too loud and the playing a bit mekanic but I see were you aiming. Nice try you're getting there!

Keep working man and don't you try to steal dim from me!
Old 3rd February 2007
  #9
Lives for gear
 
dim light's Avatar
 

Cojo in the future I will rap on one of your songs. We will get rich and build bass traps in gold! Ethan Hawk style...
Old 4th February 2007
  #10
Lives for gear
 
juicylime's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cojo View Post
Hey juicylime, you have a beutiful voice but your inhales is far too loud and the playing a bit mekanic but I see were you aiming. Nice try you're getting there!
Thanks for the reply. Your right about the inhales. Nice one! Where do you find it mechanical?
Old 4th February 2007
  #11
Lives for gear
 
Cojo's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by juicylime View Post
Where do you find it mechanical?
I think it's mainly the distorted picked guitar but also the beat from the kick and snare. Give it a little more soul and feeling if you know what I mean.
Old 4th February 2007
  #12
Gear Head
 
Florian's Avatar
 

You've got a real nice voice!

Nice Song.

Did you listen to the "s"?? They sound a bit harsh to me. What a kind of deesser do you use?

Florian
Old 4th February 2007
  #13
Lives for gear
 
JonCraig's Avatar
 

cool song, with a cool feel! i particularly enjoyed the interplay between the gtrs and the vocal. just a couple constructive criticisms:

1) everything seems kind of mono-ish.

2) there's a LOT of hi-freq info going on here... vocal seems overly bright and grainy--like a 4033 that got even more hi freq eq. guitars sound the same, and the whole mix seems bass-light. is your control room treated?

--jon
Old 4th February 2007
  #14
Lives for gear
 
juicylime's Avatar
 

Thanks for the replies.
Cojo: I take your point. I wanted a driving guitar line but I'm not a lead guitarist so I kept it simple, some 16th note flourishes and a little more looseness could definitely work there alright.

Florian: Thanks! The singing on it is pretty rough to be honest. I can do alot better but this is just a quick home recording to get the ideas down in a basic form. You're right about the "s". I have actually down loaded a de-esser plug in because I can hear it too. I haven't used it yet though.

Jon Craig: What do you mean by mono-ish? Do you think it sounds a little small? Everything on there was recorded by me overdubbing each instrument in mono so I guess you're right!
My room is not treated in the slightest. 4 bare walls with not even a picture hanging. It's the spare room in the house and it's half a studio and half full of crap! I have some sound absorbtion material due to arrive this week.

Does anyone think I can use this recording (with a few tracking changes) as a recording to approach management/publishers with or should I re-record it in a studio with real musicians instead of me just filling in?
Old 5th February 2007
  #15
Lives for gear
 
espasonico's Avatar
 

I think you can use it as a demo with no problems. The "mono thing" it´s what I would be worried about. Maybe it ´s something to do with the streaming but I don´t know.

If I were you I would take a look at the mono thing and maybe retrack the vocal and redo the ending with a proper one.

Anyway, what you posted it´s enough to find if someone can be intered in. You don´t need an album sounding demo to find if a song it´s good or not.

If I have to be honest, I think this song could work better with a female voice.

P.D: I read in another post that you are in Dun Laoghaire. I went to C.B.C Monkstown Park in '91 and lived there for a year. I love Ireland !!
Old 5th February 2007
  #16
Lives for gear
 
juicylime's Avatar
 

Espasonico: That's crazy! It really is a small world we live in. I know people who went there at that time, Keith Spiller and Eoin Shanley, did you know them?

I'll pay attention to the mono thing. I'm not sure what it is, my recording isn't massive sounding but it shouldn't be sounding mono either. I think the idea of re-tracking the vocal is a good one but what do you mean by a proper ending?
Old 5th February 2007
  #17
Lives for gear
 
espasonico's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by juicylime View Post
Espasonico: That's crazy! It really is a small world we live in. I know people who went there at that time, Keith Spiller and Eoin Shanley, did you know them?

I'll pay attention to the mono thing. I'm not sure what it is, my recording isn't massive sounding but it shouldn't be sounding mono either. I think the idea of re-tracking the vocal is a good one but what do you mean by a proper ending?
By a proper ending I mean a nicest way to end the song.

P.D: I can´t really remember any names from that time. It was a long time ago and I´ve got the memory of a fish but it had a great time in Dun Laoghaire and Dublin.
Old 8th February 2007
  #18
Gear Maniac
 

nice song, very cool voice.

but:

- "the water takes my care away and i'm smiling" - i can't really hear you smile on that line and on the rest of the song. your day must have been more perfect than that, no? let us hear how that day really felt like...

- the song lacks earcandy, small little playful bits that catch your attention just about when the average person looses it. nice little licks or cords that sound so cool you want to hear them again right away. but you don't do the same thing again for the rest of the song. maybe some other instumentalist can help you with that.

- there are some cool harmony ideas in there, but weed them out a bit and use them more sparingly in the right places (see 'earcandy')

- and as the others said. back off on the compression, and the songs needs a cool ending. more tension towards the end, and the a cool way of releasing it.

keep doing this. your voice is nice and the song is good!

cheers

dominic
Old 8th February 2007
  #19
Lives for gear
 
juicylime's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sonicdom View Post
nice song, very cool voice.

but:

- "the water takes my care away and i'm smiling" - i can't really hear you smile on that line and on the rest of the song. your day must have been more perfect than that, no? let us hear how that day really felt like...

- the song lacks earcandy, small little playful bits that catch your attention just about when the average person looses it. nice little licks or cords that sound so cool you want to hear them again right away. but you don't do the same thing again for the rest of the song. maybe some other instumentalist can help you with that.

- there are some cool harmony ideas in there, but weed them out a bit and use them more sparingly in the right places (see 'earcandy')

- and as the others said. back off on the compression, and the songs needs a cool ending. more tension towards the end, and the a cool way of releasing it.

keep doing this. your voice is nice and the song is good!

cheers

dominic

Thanks Dominic, I regard that as a pretty insightful response, the kind I probably couldn't find anywhere else. Thanks.
Old 14th February 2007
  #20
Gear Head
 
BoseBoyz's Avatar
 

Smile

I like the sparseness of it. sounds organic.

You are doing good work, and that is the root of your conundrum. You feel like you need some outside influence to put the missing pieces together. These days i think it's a blurry line between studio and home productions. You are probably right that you could benefit from a little assistance from an experienced record producer. Thankfully, this place is full of them.

My first impression is: If you are going to be a songwriter you have to come to a comfortable reconciliation with structure. Structure is the vessel of a song, whether you implement it explicitly or not. If you reinforce the structure, your vessel will carry you for a greater journey. Use simple production elements to reinforce the structure. Give us audible cues when we move from one section of the song to another. We want to know we've arrived somewhere. Some things to try:

Step back a foot from the mic for the chorus and step up the dynamic a little. If you use an omni pattern for this, you can get a little natural reverb to give your voice a little more space. Or you can ad it artificially. Maybe introduce an organ pad at this time.
Old 15th February 2007
  #21
Lives for gear
 
juicylime's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by BoseBoyz View Post
You are doing good work, and that is the root of your conundrum. You feel like you need some outside influence to put the missing pieces together. These days i think it's a blurry line between studio and home productions. You are probably right that you could benefit from a little assistance from an experienced record producer. Thankfully, this place is full of them.
Hole in one. My plan has been to get it to sound as much like I want it as possible on my own. But, while I am playing the bass, guitars and programming on this, I regard the production as the undoubtedly the weak point. Right now they are just very broad strokes that will hopefully communicate enough of what I regard as the heart of the song that I can attract people who are better (far, far better please!!) and then get it where I would like it to be.

THe more I try and do full productions the more I think it is hardest trick in the book. Although it's really enjoyable too. But I'd still rather do it in the company of experts in the feild!!

Thanks for the good feedback BoseBoyz.
Old 16th February 2007
  #22
Lives for gear
 
Sofine's Avatar
Hi Hamlet.

Holy ****, from reading this post, it is a small world. I know Eoin Shanley!!!

I think I actually went to one of your gigs once (can't quite remember where - I think it was the TBMC - at least 2/3 years ago, maybe more). My wife's friend (Sorcha Duggan) invited us along. I've played there many many times (guitarist/drummer in pop and rock bands!) and like to support friends and friends of friends artists alike!

I'm a aspiring producer (pop, electro, rock, folk, country) and electronic music remix artist based in Dalkey (hobby, not day job!) but have gathered a fair bit of production experience at this stage (enough to realise how much I still have to bloody learn!).

So, about the song. I really like it, and I think it's your voice that primarily does it for me. I also like the laid back and positive vibe. I think sonicdom summed it up very very well. There are basic quick things I feel could be done to "move" the song along a bit more in parts, such as introducing pads, widening the sound stage, maybe a bit more dynamics with the rhythm, but I am just repeating others comments now. Anyway, it's way too easy to critique other peoples songs! Bottom line, great voice and great song. Nice one.

Re CBC Monkstown, I think my wife's brother went there (Simon Grehan) and actually ended up teaching there for a few years!
Old 16th February 2007
  #23
Lives for gear
 
juicylime's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofine View Post
Hi Hamlet.

Holy ****, from reading this post, it is a small world. I know Eoin Shanley!!!

I think I actually went to one of your gigs once (can't quite remember where - I think it was the TBMC - at least 2/3 years ago, maybe more). My wife's friend (Sorcha Duggan) invited us along. I've played there many many times (guitarist/drummer in pop and rock bands!) and like to support friends and friends of friends artists alike!

I'm an aspiring producer and electronic music remix artist based in Dalkey (hobby, not day job!) but have gathered a fair bit of production experience at this stage (enough to realise how much I still have to bloody learn!).

So, about the song. I really like it, and I think it's your voice that primarily does it for me. I also like the laid back and positive vibe. I think sonicdom summed it up very very well. There are basic quick things I feel could be done to "move" the song along a bit more in parts, such as introducing pads, widening the sound stage, maybe a bit more dynamics with the rhythm, but I am just repeating others comments now. Anyway, it's way too easy to critique other peoples songs! Bottom line, great voice and great song. Nice one.

Re CBC Monkstown, I think my wife's brother went there (Simon Grehan) and actually ended up teaching there for a few years!
This is unbelievable! Was that the show with the string quartet and backing singers.....shesh.... what was I thinking with all those people in the band?!
I met Sorcha the other day, pregnant with twins! What a lovely girl, I've always really liked her.

Thanks for the feedback on the song. You are of course right. This recording was done quite haphazardly to be honest, on purpose. I can sing much better and even for a rough bed room pre-prod I wish I'd taken the time to do the vocals properly. They annoy the hell out of me now! I did it just to get the ideas down very quickly so that the song had wheels on it (albeit woobly ones like a supermarket trolley!). Since posting it (and influenced by some great advice here) I've decided that I need to collborate, re-do it properly and I'd like to think it could sound pretty f*cking happening then. But then all us musicians think that about every song we write, don't we!?

So you're in Dalkey? That's crazy, I live about a mile from you! My God it's a small world, can you beleive this?! How random is that!!? Want to hook up some time and have a look at each others studio set ups? You show me yours and I'll show you mine!
Old 16th February 2007
  #24
Lives for gear
 
Sofine's Avatar
Hey.

Funny thing is, Joanne (wife, and long time friend of Sorcha) and I had twins 8 months ago too!!! Joanne and Sorcha have always done the same bloody things! I see her regularly enough too, and probably more so in the near future as their twins get closer and closer.

Yeah, I would defo like to hook up. I will PM you my mobile number. You don't want drunkards like Dim Light getting your mobile number now do you

Maybe we can have a go at doing your song again and see if it gets better....or worse!

I seem to remember there being a few bods on stage allright at your gig, so it could well have been a string section.
Old 16th February 2007
  #25
Lives for gear
 
juicylime's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sofine View Post
Hey.

Funny thing is, Joanne (wife, and long time friend of Sorcha) and I had twins 8 months ago too!!! Joanne and Sorcha have always done the same bloody things! I see her regularly enough too, and probably more so in the near future as their twins get closer and closer.

Yeah, I would defo like to hook up. I will PM you my mobile number. You don't want drunkards like Dim Light getting your mobile number now do you

Maybe we can have a go at doing your song again and see if it gets better....or worse!

I seem to remember there being a few bods on stage allright at your gig, so it could well have been a string section.
Yeah, I bet dimlight wanted to delete that the next day! Will give you a shout later.
Post Reply

Welcome to the Gearslutz Pro Audio Community!

Registration benefits include:
  • The ability to reply to and create new discussions
  • Access to members-only giveaways & competitions
  • Interact with VIP industry experts in our guest Q&As
  • Access to members-only sub forum discussions
  • Access to members-only Chat Room
  • Get INSTANT ACCESS to the world's best private pro audio Classifieds for only USD $20/year
  • Promote your eBay auctions and Reverb.com listings for free
  • Remove this message!
You need an account to post a reply. Create a username and password below and an account will be created and your post entered.


 
 
Slide to join now Processing…
Thread Tools
Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Forum Jump
Forum Jump