The No.1 Website for Pro Audio
 Search This Thread  Search This Forum  Search Reviews  Search Gear Database  Search Gear for sale  Search Gearslutz Go Advanced
Give an inch......takes a mile. (Musician Rant)
Old 2nd January 2011
  #1
Give an inch......takes a mile. (Musician Rant)

So we decided to audition a guitarist and perhaps someone who could actually play lead.

6 months later our newest Newbie to the band is calling the shots.

He insisted on using his band names HE came up with. We said lets give 2-3 weeks to let it sink in and decide then. But right away he went out and started setting up sites and what not. The rest of the guys decided against the names suggested by newbie and decided on another name by the bass player. Newbie got all upset and even vented his frustrations in FB....only to delete his comments......too late...already saw them!!

This is a new band with new members, The 3 of us get along like a house on fire but this kid...I,ll call him a kid cause hes never gig or recorded before. I think we blew it on our part and gave him too much credit, put him way high on a pedestal....sure the kids a whiz at his playing....BUT DAMN...have an attitude like that...you,ll only go so far.

Compromise and keeping an open mind are not one of his strengths.

We also gave him a few ultimatums, he improved then went back to his own ways.

He demanded why I hadnt called or emailed him over Xmas...to do BAND things......well people do get busy.

Just called him....told him the news.....Whoops.....Sorry being the holidays and all but you had chances you didnt bother with.

Please stop crying.....you,ll find anther bandheh
Old 2nd January 2011
  #2
Lives for gear
 
BlackBackDrop's Avatar
 

Sounds like you guys could not handle his ego. Some gifted people do have a tendency to get on other peoples nerves, especially when they know it. I always thought bands do better with a manager or producer/manager if not only to play peace maker. Have a band meeting very soon with an intermediary to air each member’s feelings. Only then will you all know where you each stand.



On the other hand if he broke your trust then forget it. tutt


SW
Old 2nd January 2011
  #3
Well we did have sit down meetings, and not even giving constructive criticism but friendly suggestions.....well the rest of the jam we might as well have jammed like lead axe guy wasnt even there....he began pouting.

I dunno....before we had a forth member...we,d walked out of rehearsals happy chappy. A few times with him onboard...we walked out thinking...what the hell was that??

Sigh.....well he has called back. I have some of his ideas down and recorded. Hes insisting he comes over and watches me delete the files so the band doesnt use them.

I told him everything from your table....you can be assured we wont use any material you brought on board....and yes I,ll delete them....But I cant drop everything at a moments notice and have you over to see proof of deletion.
Old 2nd January 2011
  #4
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by audiokaos View Post
Well we did have sit down meetings, and not even giving constructive criticism but friendly suggestions.....well the rest of the jam we might as well have jammed like lead axe guy wasnt even there....he began pouting.

I dunno....before we had a forth member...we,d walked out of rehearsals happy chappy. A few times with him onboard...we walked out thinking...what the hell was that??

Sigh.....well he has called back. I have some of his ideas down and recorded. Hes insisting he comes over and watches me delete the files so the band doesnt use them.

I told him everything from your table....you can be assured we wont use any material you brought on board....and yes I,ll delete them....But I cant drop everything at a moments notice and have you over to see proof of deletion.
That's silly. Who's to say the sessions weren't copied a hundred times? Tell him to buzz off and get a lawyer if he likes.
Old 2nd January 2011
  #5
Lives for gear
 
suedesound's Avatar
 

i find it interesting that i have never (okay rarely) had any problems like this with any band i was in that formed organically, however just about every time i've been a "hired hand" i get ego problems from somebody or everybody. at this point i'm not even willing to jump on somebody else's already formed project unless it is a strictly for hire thing paid per session or show. find another friend that you get along with if you really think you need a fourth member.
Old 2nd January 2011
  #6
Lives for gear
 

i love these tales...

i always thought a band/group was a team effort and agreement at some level needs to happen, or at least compromises that everyone can live with. i know personally i can be a little pushy and very hard to move from my point, but, if anyone i'm working with stands their ground i always figure they must have something to it, and either relinquish or we come together on a work around... a band name is something that definitely requires full agreement at the deepest level as well as a reasonable amount of time to sit on and let it sink in. scenarios like the one you describe never sound very fun.

a couple quotes for ya to ease the moan...

"Another way to lose control is to ignore something when you should address it."

you addressed it, all is good

also for both of you...

"As one door closes, another one opens."
Old 2nd January 2011
  #7
Lives for gear
 
elambo's Avatar
At the end of the day you guys should be having fun. it sounds like it was before he got there. I think you need another band meeting - without him - to discuss whether giving him the boot is the right option. You're not trapped. EVERY band goes through similar things at one point or another. Do what's necessary to move back toward the music.
Old 2nd January 2011
  #8
Moderator
 
narcoman's Avatar
 

ha! Watch you delete the files? Tell him to sod off and stop being such a baby!
Old 2nd January 2011
  #9
The sooner you're free of this kind of megalomania, the better.

One thing that really strikes me about bands onstage, in action: the easy camaraderie that flows between members-- the spontaneous joking, the joyous attitude. Sometimes... I think that's at least half of the show. They are there to play music foremost, maybe-- but second-most, they're there to bring the audience into their world and put everyone at ease and have themselves a good time.

If you think about the bands you love to see... there's this kind of magic spark, consistently.

It don't happen when there's a history of tension and meetings and hammered out compromises... it just don't.
Old 2nd January 2011
  #10
This will be my 3rd band, and realistically we,ll keep it 3 for the recording purposes, maybe doing live stuff we may need to recruit again.

my 1st band lasted 4 years...till I moved overseas. 2nd band was horrible.....singer was a fence sitter....drummer and bass player literally bossed me around...even in my own studio ( well ) My gear and place wasnt good enough.....amateur at best they said.

The only time things went 100% was when we were on stage. That lasted 2 years.

This lastest attempt is working well despite the guitarist .....well not any more of a problem.

Back to work
Post Reply

Welcome to the Gearslutz Pro Audio Community!

Registration benefits include:
  • The ability to reply to and create new discussions
  • Access to members-only giveaways & competitions
  • Interact with VIP industry experts in our guest Q&As
  • Access to members-only sub forum discussions
  • Access to members-only Chat Room
  • Get INSTANT ACCESS to the world's best private pro audio Classifieds for only USD $20/year
  • Promote your eBay auctions and Reverb.com listings for free
  • Remove this message!
You need an account to post a reply. Create a username and password below and an account will be created and your post entered.


 
 
Slide to join now Processing…
Thread Tools
Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Similar Threads
Thread
Thread Starter / Forum
Replies
RockManDan / The Moan Zone
42
Sounds Great / Gear free zone - shoot the breeze
0
Kris / The Good News Channel
90
DHD / High end
9

Forum Jump
Forum Jump