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Girlfriend Bringing down my Vocalist
Old 6th July 2009
  #1
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-silent-sam-'s Avatar
 

Girlfriend Bringing down my Vocalist

Ok first of all.... this isn't ment to be any kind of attack on females... This is just the situation I was in.

For the past 4 years I have had a band who has come back to me atleast once a year to record. So this time around I convince them to pay the extra money to rent a NICE "high end" room.

These guys aren't rich by any means so they booked a couple days for which we were to record A TON of stuff.

We had a long day... tracked drums, guitars, bass, gang vocals, "second" vocals, and we were about to record the lead vocals which would have been the second last thing for us to record that day.

Vocalists girlfriend shows up..... About an hour and a half into recording vocals she gets board and wants to go home.... but for whatever reason she didn't just leave.

She sat there the whole time throwing little fits..... she would *SIGGGHHHHHHHHHH* after every screw up.

She would be saying things like "Come on Mike!" and "I want to go!" and "I am going to kill you if you don't get it on this take" and "Why is it taking you so many takes?"

To add fuel to fire all the lyrics had not been written yet.... so every-time he laid down a line that we decided should be changed to something different she would try to convince him that it didn't need to be changed.

WHAAAT THE HELL!?

What do you do in a situation like that? I just had to keep my mouth shut and hope to hell that the vocalist would still have enough self confidence for the next take, after his girlfriend ripped him a new one after every take.

I have a feeling if she wasen't there to rip out his spinal cord....and argu about making changes before every single change.... it would have taken us atleast half the time.

so now she is wasting MY time...... and I had tickets to go see SNFU that night so believe me I wanted to get out of there just as bad as she did.


so yeah.... thats my vent.... thanks for listening.... Hahaha.
Old 6th July 2009
  #2
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jeremy.c.'s Avatar
sounds like that singer is paying extra in more than one way for dating that idiot... it's a good thing studio engineers aren't expected or required to get psychology degrees because I'd throw myself off a bridge if I had to save all these people from themselves.

On a more serious note, take the singer aside and lay down studio rules. Rule #1: no friends, no girlfriends/boyfriends, no family in the studio.
Old 6th July 2009
  #3
Are you producing? Kick her a$$ out! Get her a cab! See ya later. I can't have anyone screwing up the vibe of a session.
Old 6th July 2009
  #4
Jax
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Sounds like it's too late to be booting her or laying down a rule about no significant others. Might be worth adding a clause in your contract to keep the bitchers and moaners out, if you had a contract to begin with.

I had a situation where the singer's wifey second guessed many of the vocal tracks and asked a few too many times if unreasonable changes were possible. The vocals were close to finished, and luckily it wasn't a case of the singer letting himself be too controlled by his wife. I hate to put it this way, but sometimes both men and women get in relationships where they're essentially _____ whipped and spineless.
Old 6th July 2009
  #5
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idylldon's Avatar
 

I just point to the universal "No Yokos" sign.

Cheers,
--
Don
Old 6th July 2009
  #6
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Never1's Avatar
 

I have a rule with my band:

No girlfriends in the studio, unless we're listening to the tracks. If the red button is to be pushed, they should not be there... for this exact reason.

Most don't understand the process and think that it all just happens in 5 minutes. They get bored and then get angry at the boyfriend for making them sit there, bored. Just leave, already... or better yet, stay home til the session is done.

The chick obviously has no respect for what he is doing and he should dump her ass, asap. Sadly, this sort of thing happens way too often.
Old 6th July 2009
  #7
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Quote:
I just point to the universal "No Yokos" sign.
For me it's Janeane...
Old 6th July 2009
  #8
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Fletcher's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duardo View Post
For me it's Janeane...
Old 7th July 2009
  #9
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HookedOnHardware's Avatar
 

It sounds that (besides the singer) you should grow a pair too (no offense)!

Anything that kills the vibe is unwanted. She should have been told to go home. The difference about the singer getting verbally abused during a session or at home is that you might get the takes you need with the former.

If the girl shows up again, she should bring her laptop and surf the web with her mouth shut. The other solution is for him to dump her ass. If she doesn't support him, why be together?

My gf supports me in everything I do.
Old 8th July 2009
  #10
teo
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teo's Avatar
 

Are you producing? then kick her out next time.
Are you just engineering? It's their money and their time, so...who ****ing cares? Pity for your tickets though...
Old 8th July 2009
  #11
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Storyville's Avatar
I love having my girlfriend in the studio. She has the patience of a statue, and she's super encouraging. And she understands if I need alone time with the microphone....

As an engineer I would recommend to clients NOT to bring outsiders in for long periods. A brief visit can be cool, especially on those long sessions, just to reinvigorate things. But it's kind of like.... hey this is work time.


Now, when musicians act like this..... ick. Especially guitar players sitting in while tracking bass. God, just get over yourself, or go take pictures of yourself wearing different sunglasses or something.
Old 8th July 2009
  #12
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voicegenius's Avatar
 

I say give her a good karate chop to the throat...
Old 8th July 2009
  #13
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Mylithra's Avatar
 

This use to be a problem with just about every band I was in. The band Im in now has a rule:

No one but the band goes to practice.

This goes for the studio too. Since making this call, we get TONS more done and never have to have the touchy conversation with the offending member.

If you're en engineer. The only thing I can suggest is to lay it all out before you ever hit sit down at the console. If it still happens, Kill the session and recommend everyone comes back a bit fresher (and a bit more lonely if you catch my drift)
Old 8th July 2009
  #14
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-silent-sam-'s Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by HookedOnHardware View Post
It sounds that (besides the singer) you should grow a pair too (no offense)!

Anything that kills the vibe is unwanted. She should have been told to go home. The difference about the singer getting verbally abused during a session or at home is that you might get the takes you need with the former.

If the girl shows up again, she should bring her laptop and surf the web with her mouth shut. The other solution is for him to dump her ass. If she doesn't support him, why be together?

My gf supports me in everything I do.
First of all I can't agree with you more about the dumping.... haha.... The attitude she was giving him, was as if his whole life is a joke, and I just feel like I would never be so disrespectful to a woman, and wouldn't want to be disrespected in that way.

This was a one time thing.... In the future I will tell him not to invite her.... Actually I doubt I will even have to "ask".

As far as growing a pair and telling the singers girlfriend to either shut up, or leave because she is destroying the vibe, I would have to disagree with you.

I strongly feel like in the particular situation she was not leaving without her boyfriend... and a polite "can you please be quiet well we are tracking" wasn't good enough.... I at-least asked her to be quiet.... hey I am canadian but I am not THAT passive hahaha.

As far as being more upfront about it like telling her "Shut up or get the **** out" I think that would have destroyed the vibe even more.... from that moment on it would have been awkward and tense. After all.... not even mixer-man told the girlfriends to "shut up or get the **** out".... fortunately for him he had the luxury of a producer who knows how to deal with the outsiders, fatties, and a sweet lounge area.

End of the day I ****ed up.....I have done enough sessions to know what happens when a friend of the band who doesn't nessacarly give a **** about the band shows up at the session.

Although this was a nice studio, it's also brand new and no *LOUNGE* area has been finished yet.... knowing that I should have established some rules about visitors.

It was my screw up..... but man... it still feels good to bitch about it on here hahaha.
Old 8th July 2009
  #15
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Fishmed's Avatar
My place is quite small, so I tell bands not to invite guests if at all posible. I also try to encourage members who are not playing or not producing to leave. (Some bands have a leader who is also their PRODUCER.) If they do bring extra people over, it is their money they are wasting if those people are a distraction.

One thing I do if I am trying to listen to the playback and people are talking behind about something else, I will stop the music and turn and watch them talk until they are ready to do business; this usually works.
Old 8th July 2009
  #16
The meddling anti-muse is not a phenomenon restricted to women -- or to those in romantic relationships with talent -- or even to those outside the band.

Unproductive, negative influences are just that. Sometimes it's a GF or BF (or something in between heh ), but sometimes its part of the posse (one who doesn't really get the posse thing) -- or sometimes most toxic of all -- a member of the band. (Come on, who hasn't heard the same scornful sighs hissing out of some band member on the couch while Mr Talent is out there singing his little heart out?)


[Now, if the talent in question had come to me about his GF troubles, I think I'd have a lot more to say about the whole situation, at least privately, and I wouldn't be surprised if the bottom line wasn't something along the lines of looking for a relationship (one way or the other) where he could enjoy the kind of mutual respect and support that others in this thread have cited.]
Old 8th July 2009
  #17
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HookedOnHardware's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by silent-sam View Post
<Excerpts from post>
As far as growing a pair and telling the singers girlfriend to either shut up, or leave because she is destroying the vibe, I would have to disagree with you.

I strongly feel like in the particular situation she was not leaving without her boyfriend... and a polite "can you please be quiet well we are tracking" wasn't good enough.... I at-least asked her to be quiet.... hey I am canadian but I am not THAT passive hahaha.

As far as being more upfront about it like telling her "Shut up or get the **** out" I think that would have destroyed the vibe even more.... from that moment on it would have been awkward and tense. After all.... not even mixer-man told the girlfriends to "shut up or get the **** out"....
Well obviously telling her to 'either shut the **** up or bend over' would be a bit excessive. However, I would (and have in the past) take the offending person in question aside for a second and clearly but calmly state that we need to get things done and he/she isn't helping the situation. "I understand you have other things to do but your friend/boyfriend/lover/monkey etc paid for my services. You would really help me out if you could be a little more quite/calm etc. I appreciate it. Thank you."

I can be quite manipula.... ehm convincing and it always works for me.
Cracking a joke here and there to lighten the mood works fine too.

With new (and/or certain) clients I always explicitly state that I do not allow random unwanted visitors. Depending on how you say it (with an understanding smile) people respect it. With people I know I can trust bringing a second (or in a band's case a +1) person it's fine by me.

Old 8th July 2009
  #18
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ever have the girlfriend/wife right behind you struggling (as was the singer) to sing along through EVERY F%%&^% take??????

Andy
Old 8th July 2009
  #19
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Fishmed's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by HookedOnHardware View Post
Well obviously telling her to 'either shut the **** up or bend over' would be a bit excessive. However, I would (and have in the past) take the offending person in question aside for a second and clearly but calmly state that we need to get things done and he/she isn't helping the situation. "I understand you have other things to do but your friend/boyfriend/lover/monkey etc paid for my services. You would really help me out if you could be a little more quite/calm etc. I appreciate it. Thank you."

I can be quite manipula.... ehm convincing and it always works for me.
Cracking a joke here and there to lighten the mood works fine too.

With new (and/or certain) clients I always explicitly state that I do not allow random unwanted visitors. Depending on how you say it (with an understanding smile) people respect it. With people I know I can trust bringing a second (or in a band's case a +1) person it's fine by me.

+1... Well put!
Old 10th July 2009
  #20
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Coldbricks's Avatar
 

Basically if you can't take your girlfriend anywhere, you shouldn't be together. There are way too many single girls out there that could be BENEFICIAL to your life. Think about it. Having said that, there should be time with just you and your music. But the girls should never bring you down...I left those type a long time ago!!
Old 11th July 2009
  #21
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kafka's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by HookedOnHardware View Post
Well obviously telling her to 'either shut the **** up or bend over' would be a bit excessive.
I agree that giving her an option would be excessive. She might choose to bend over and keep talking.
Old 11th July 2009
  #22
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KBOY's Avatar
 

I'm producing someone that has a girl guitarist who has a girlfriend that HAS to go everywhere with her.

Her girlfriend loves me because I immediately slap a laptop in her hand.. She's 18 so she is kept busy on myspace for hours. If I'm out and about I give her my Iphone to play on.

I try to take each situation on it's own. Another words there are times when it might not be the best decision to keep someone out. It could be the artists muse. Which in turn will give USUALLY a not so real performance. Because it is what they are used to.

I'm a producer, so in that regards I believe the best producers that interact with artists could make damn good psychologists.. So It is kind of a natural for me.

But I've definitely had sessions ruined because of a phone argument with the woman. These days I'm mostly working with women artists and I swear they do much better at controlling their men then men artists do with their girlfriends.

Go figure.

Old 13th July 2009
  #23
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Fishmed's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by KBOY View Post
These days I'm mostly working with women artists and I swear they do much better at controlling their men then men artists do with their girlfriends.

Go figure.

PW!
Old 13th July 2009
  #24
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ajv205's Avatar
 

depends if you're paid by the hour. i'd love to sit back and watch that comedy show while being paid $75 per hour. if you're not, then I'm sorry to hear you agreed to those terms. you can also put the music up on the mains on 11 the whole time and conveniently "run out" of earplugs for her. Also, make the environment the opposite of girl friendly (i.e. mysterious puke / poo smelling couch, no toilet paper in the bathroom.)
Old 13th July 2009
  #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ajv205 View Post
Also, make the environment the opposite of girl friendly (i.e. mysterious puke / poo smelling couch, no toilet paper in the bathroom.)
I'm not sure how many guys would find that friendly either...
Old 14th July 2009
  #26
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ajv205's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by olivia_nb View Post
I'm not sure how many guys would find that friendly either...
joke.
Old 14th July 2009
  #27
80425
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Quote:
Originally Posted by idylldon View Post
I just point to the universal "No Yokos" sign.

Cheers,
--
Don
Old 17th July 2009
  #28
Here for the gear
 

Before Blink 182 blew up in popularity, the girlfriend of Mark Hoppus gave him an ultimatum to choose her or the band. I imagine he doesn't regret the choice he made.
Old 17th July 2009
  #29
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Fishmed's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greener View Post
I bet she does. :P
+1 See Ya!
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