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Old 28th September 2008
  #31
Lives for gear
 

why can't you just use your imagination then, and pretend that if something like that was real, and it wasn't apparently obvious to me that it was a joke, because maybe I'm not a nerding engineer who studies snob etique for a job. livifuuck
Old 28th September 2008
  #32
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Meriphew's Avatar
 

I've only read halfway through the current issue. Now I can't wait to read what all the fuss is about. Tape Op.... you gotta love it.
Old 28th September 2008
  #33
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Meriphew's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dylansmale View Post
I'm really mad that Tape Op had to stoop so low to make a few extra bucks. disgusting
Ha! You're hilarious dude.
Old 28th September 2008
  #34
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dougb415's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by dylansmale View Post
I was wondering the same thing as you. And was going make this same thread. I was sort of offended, that they construct these kind of money schemes. Its completely ridiculous that they try and define what is "pure". I'm really mad that Tape Op had to stoop so low to make a few extra bucks. disgusting
Yuck yuck! The joke continues!
Old 28th September 2008
  #35
Gear Nut
 
The kosmos's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by bcgood View Post
Can I get a woop, woop?

LOL deeamm that's funny mane. It's like he's about to do a JAY-Z Hova diamond! HOVA HOVA HOVA !!!
Old 28th September 2008
  #36
Gear Nut
 
moonman's Avatar
 

i know it was satire, but i follow just about all those rules to a T ..thats odd huh..
Old 29th September 2008
  #37
Tape Op
 
Larry Crane's Avatar
 

"Explaining jokes makes them not funny anymore."

Totally. I'm kinda shocked and amazed that anyone would have read my End Rant and taken it seriously. Sure, there are pieces of the rant that might be good ideas or ways of working, but I tried to push it so over the top that even a little kid could see that I was being tongue-in-cheek. Britney Spears live in the studio? $5000 fee for our approval? The "Purity" name? A URL at the end that goes nowhere? C'mon! For those of you that claim to have read it, here it is again to read - pull yer head out. For those of you that haven't read it, enjoy with a sense of humor:

Purity and Honesty in Recordings

by Larry Crane

Here at Tape Op World Headquarters we get numerous emails from folks fighting the good fight against the threat to our world known as digital recording. All of the hideous doors that have opened since the onset of this digital audio plague have turned what was once a noble and proud profession into a travesty of the highest order. Albums and singles are released every day; full of over-compressed, over-tuned, over-EQ’d, and underplayed grid-sequenced crap. Obviously no music created using these “tricks of the devil” could be interesting, enjoyable, danceable or even remotely listenable. We feel that the time has come to issue our plea for a set of rules, if you will, for the recording arts; as well as a proposed “endorsement” solution for the travesties inflicted by these many soulless, careless and immoral engineers around the world. These rules shall apply to any and all tape-based or digital-only sessions.

Live Tracking: All sessions must be tracked as live as possible with real musicians and instruments. Imagine how much better Britney Spears would sound if she recorded in this manner!

Click Tracks: Metronomes may only be used at the start of a song. Any indication that a song was played entirely to a click, or that one was used to keep the band in time after the third bridge, will not be tolerated.

Editing: Only one edit of the master take of each song is allowed. In other words, two takes may be combined, but no more than one edit/splice point.

Punch Ins: One punch in per track is permissible on each song. Continuous takes, mistakes and all, always have greater feel than multiple punched in Frankenstein’ed takes.

Overdubs: Since an overdub is not part of the all-important live performance, the number of overdubs per song shall be limited to four. However, any overdubbing of lead vocals must be notated in the liner notes of any release and on the back cover in at least 10 point type. Remember: Coltrane didn’t need no stinkin’ overdubs.

Compression: No ratios over 10:1. Not even in parallel mode.

Equalization: No boosts of frequencies. Not even on a Pultec. Cutting frequencies is okay, but only up to -4dB. Remember, it’s called corrective equalization for a reason.

Plug-Ins: None will be allowed. Ever. They are “fake” tools. They invariably emulate something that exists in the real world, but obviously in an inferior manner. If the Beatles had plug-ins they might have used them, but we can rest assured that their records would have sounded far worse for it.

Artificial Tuning: This modern travesty of the recording arts is never allowed. If two notes are rubbing together in a bad way then the world shall hear it as intended - or the performance must be redone.

Track Nudging: Anyone caught moving a snare hit, bass line, backing vocal, tambourine hit or such will be removed from our program with no refund or recourse.

Track Count: No more than 24 tracks may be used per song, no matter what device you are recording to, unless you have an Otari 32-track analog tape deck. Any records created on 4-track machines will be given special merit and a mention in our new monthly journal, Purity and Honesty in Recordings.

Mixing in the Box: This is never allowed. In fact, studies are being performed (by us) suggesting that simply monitoring mixes with digital summing while tracking or overdubbing can cause improper production decisions and induce ear fatigue.

Mixing Automation: A total of two automation moves per track on any given song will be allowed. Any more moves indicates that the recording process was obviously flawed and will not be permitted.

Computer Monitors: When using a DAW (or even console automation), computer monitors may not be on for more than 50% of the recording and mixing time. The same applies to any and all control surfaces and/or track balls.

Mastering: All mastering must be done in real time as the master tape passes the headstack. All EQ and compression changes must be performed by hand without automations. Anything resembling brick-wall limiting will be disqualified.

Delivery Format: Any recording project turned in on anything other than 1/2" or 1/4" analog tape will be automatically disqualified from our endorsement. We’re currently investigating whether wire recorder mixdowns will qualify.

Solution: We have decided to implement a certification system so that music buyers shall be able to identify music that was recorded to our rigorous standards. For a $5000 annual fee recording studios, engineers, producers and home recordists can sign up for the “Tape Op Purity and Honesty” certification program. Our handpicked panel of experts will review any recording sent in (on a high end audiophile stereo, of course) and will evaluate whether any violations of the Purity and Honesty rules have occurred. These experts will be selected for their ability to perceive impure and dishonest recording techniques in the final master. An official logo will be issued for the album artwork if we determine that all of the proper steps have been taken to ensure that the music to be released was recorded properly, purely and honestly. With this program we hope to restore some much-needed integrity to the once noble profession of audio recording.

www.tapeop.com/honestrecordings
Old 29th September 2008
  #38
Tape Op
 
Larry Crane's Avatar
 

Henry R., please! I think very highly of you and so does John B. So why this?:

"BUT sometimes LC comes off a little elitist and snobby. You'll see this if anyone mentions Steely Dan. That kind of thing pisses me off. And that creates a culture at the zine of only a certain type of music and of being very exclusionary."

Look, part of what I present in the mag is a bit of a cattle prod to make sure people are awake and paying attention. I'm having fun with the idea of being an editor of a magazine about music recording and I ****ing adore having this job. I'm not just some lucky journalist cashing in a monthly check from a big publishing company who are actually just speculating on the magazine world and will sell us off in a bundle with some other crummy lifestyle mags.

Am I "Snobby"? Not really. I like a ton of different music styles, and listen to all kinds of stuff. If there's a leaning towards whatever-the-**** INDIE rock is then I'd have to say I'm sorry but I was in a band that some people blame for helping create that fake genre and a lot of the better-known artists I've recorded get lumped into that world but not of their choosing. But ****ing A, read an issue of the mag without your blinders on and tell me this is true...

This issue contains: T-Bone Burnett, Kevin Killen, Scott Solter, Tim Hatfield, Nino Moschella, Kitty, Daisy & Lewis, Bitone
I see people in this issue making music that is folk, funk, pop, rock, country, old-time, African folk, experimental and more. What the **** do I have to do to make people stop claiming we only write about indie rock? Part of me gets so upset by this BS and the other part says, "**** it" and to keep doing the mag they way John and I have been doing it. I think we created a great forum for the art of recording and not just an excuse to shill new recording gear.

I believe in what we are doing and will continue to do it. If you don't want to read Tape Op or are mad at us for some assumption on your part, then it's simple: Don't read it. Unsubscribe right here: http://sub.tapeop.com/cancel.php

And I don't really hate Steely Dan that much - they're just awesome poster boys for "too many years in the studio and no listener's payoff" in my book, especially the last decade or so of course. Same with my fave group, Pink Floyd. Momentary Lapse of Reason was one underwritten and overworked piece of crud. Oh well...
Old 29th September 2008
  #39
Lives for gear
 
bcgood's Avatar
 

It's all about Kieskagato man, I love the sound of the album "You, Are The One, Who Can." So based on that and "Either/Or" you rock in my book Larry. Thnx for the magazine, I do love it.

However, I really love Steely Dan also. I consider Aja to be one of the pinnacles of recording. Something to shoot for in one way or another. SD's vocal sound is amazing to me, so smooth and intelligible. Definitely not a band worth putting down since there are so many new bands and recordings that deserve flack and pale in comparison...
Old 29th September 2008
  #40
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Crane View Post
"Explaining jokes makes them not funny anymore."

www.tapeop.com/honestrecordings
Exactly.
Old 29th September 2008
  #41
Lives for gear
 

For some reason I always start looking at my magazines from the back to front.so I saw that in tape-op right away..and I just imagined the look on most of the GS's faces if they read it..now reading this post is almost as good...how can you get offended..some of you are such babies..I think the next issue should have a artical about the great engineer that does not have to use 100+ tracks to geat a good song...I would love to see how many tears come down with that one!!!

I love tape-op...keep it up!!!
Old 29th September 2008
  #42
Gear Guru
 
henryrobinett's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Crane View Post
Henry R., please! I think very highly of you and so does John B. So why this?:

"BUT sometimes LC comes off a little elitist and snobby. You'll see this if anyone mentions Steely Dan. That kind of thing pisses me off. And that creates a culture at the zine of only a certain type of music and of being very exclusionary.".
Larry!! I love you! You and John!! I just get a little twisted when you hate Steely Dan. That's all! Sorry. Pisses me off. That's all.
Old 29th September 2008
  #43
Gear Guru
 
henryrobinett's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Crane View Post
And I don't really hate Steely Dan that much - they're just awesome poster boys for "too many years in the studio and no listener's payoff" in my book, especially the last decade or so of course. Same with my fave group, Pink Floyd. Momentary Lapse of Reason was one underwritten and overworked piece of crud. Oh well...
I love TO. It's the best zine out there on audio. Yooz guys are doing an awesome job. I don't agree with anybody on everything ever. I had hoped you wouldn't take my opinion too personally. I apologize.

I'm a huge Steely Dan fan. I love music that requires a lot of thought, training and shows some level of musical sophistication. I tend to bristle when those values are shunted seemingly out of hand. I think Steely Dan represents a massive innovation in pop song writing and production. That's what I think. I know you disagree, or I have assumed you do. That's OK. In that sense, since you are the editor and make editorial statements, which is your right, I can also take exception. That should be OK.

This in no way devalues Tape Op in my mind. I love Tape Op, even if I disagree with what seem to be editorial positions. To me that editorial position seemed elitist. This is coming from someone, as a jazz musician, who is forever labeled elitist, regardless whether I am or not, simply because I play jazz.

All the respect in the world Larry. Really.

PS -- I didn't know you even knew who I was, although we met once.
Old 29th September 2008
  #44
Gear Head
 
Pexx's Avatar
 

thumbsup

Reading the rant here gave me the chuckles. And I'm positive that I absolutely wouldn't have taken it for real had I been unaware of this discussion. Fun-fun-fun. Seriously! heh
Old 29th September 2008
  #45
Gear Addict
 
Zooey's Avatar
 

I thought it was pretty damn funny, and obviously it's tongue in cheek.

But the funniest thing of all (and maybe why so many were confused) is that you can flip a few pages back and read T Bone Burnett making the same ridiculous assertions in all seriousness.
Old 29th September 2008
  #46
Gear Guru
 
henryrobinett's Avatar
Larry Crane --

I'm an idiot. What a stupid assed thing to have said. I'm begging your forgiveness. I hate and despise Steely Dan. They suck. What was I thinking about? You're the greatest! Tape Op rules!! I was on crack when I wrote that. Bad mood.

Sorry.
Old 30th September 2008
  #47
Tape Op
 
Larry Crane's Avatar
 

Henry! Sorry I dug in so hard! I posted at the end of a 10hr drive. Ugh. I read all the posts by people who didn't "get" my dumb rant and was too blown away to think right. And my taste? Bought every Yes CD last year and enjoyed them. That's sick.
Old 30th September 2008
  #48
Gear Guru
 
henryrobinett's Avatar
LOL. Well I got your end rant and thought it was funny.

Thanks for forgiving me!
Old 1st October 2008
  #49
Lives for gear
 
Bierce85's Avatar
 

Steely Dan are the best. I don't give a crap about the production and I'd still listen to it if they cut all their tracks in one take live to a 4 track tape recorder with a big tape op seal of approval badge on the CD. They're the only band with 7 albums I can listen to front to back without even thinking about switching CDs. Loved them before I ever got into AEing and still do. Know why? Cause they wrote as many great songs as anyone ever, period.

Funny, I came back to this thread after reading the rant with the goal of asking how anyone could of possibly taken it seriously and now I find myself defending my favorite band... an equally important cause!
Old 6th October 2008
  #50
Gear Maniac
 
virtualsamana's Avatar
 

Too funny! There is truth in humor though. I totally agree that there is way too much emphasis placed on the 'purist way of recording'. I would expect it to some extent here, after all this forum is named Gearslutz for a reason, but there are a lot of the same dogmatic beliefs at the Tape Op boards whatever works is the motto.
Old 25th October 2008
  #51
Gear Maniac
 
Michaelrophone's Avatar
 

Personally, I thought it was about the most brilliant work of satire I've ever read. I had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard.

I actually wish it was real, for I'd love to see just how few engineers could actually accomplish such a feat. I can humbly admit I could NEVER make it happen. I truly envy the engineers that can accomplish it. And I think anyone that was offended by it needs to take into consideration that there was a time before DAWs that these practices were relevant.

Now ask yourselves: were you truly insulted, or was your ego just bruised a little?

Mr. Crane, my hat's off to you. Nicely done. Should we ever meet in person, I will gladly shake your hand and offer you a drink.

And for what it's worth, I could VERY peacefully go the rest of my life without ever hearing another Steely Dan song. I used to be impartial towards them, but after hearing them as the house music for the eight-billionth concert, I now bring my ear BUDS along with my ear plugs to shows just to insure I won't be subjected to that God-forsaken opening lick of "Reelin' in the Years".

Crucify me if you must, I really don't care.

Cheers,
-Michael
Old 29th October 2008
  #52
Lives for gear
 
slaphappygarry's Avatar
 

I fell for it hook line and sinker.

You really pissed me off.

Well done Larry.

G
Old 3rd November 2008
  #53
Gear Addict
 
aidyhall's Avatar
Us snobby Brits like to think that Americans don't "do" irony, but I guess it's fair to say that there's a fair percentage of Tape Op / gearslutz readers that don't understand satire ...

I thought it was pretty damn funny. Hats off to Larry Crane thumbsup

Although I do have to say that I had the pleasure of recording Britney for a few days a while ago, and although she's no Aretha Franklin in terms of tone, in the studio she was in tune and in time, as well as being polite and professional, which is more than can be said for a lot of singers today, in any genre ...

Last edited by aidyhall; 3rd November 2008 at 12:55 AM.. Reason: spelling
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