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Old 10th August 2015
  #2911
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Owen L T's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Albertluck View Post
https://soundcloud.com/albert-luck/05-summer-fling

Interested in feedback on the above song written last summer which I have been trying to get published.
Albert Luck
Agree with someone else's verdict re: the intro.

Honestly, I think you'd get more impact from 2 bars drums then straight in with vocals and guitars.

It's a great irony of intros, that a 2 bar intro can be twice as good as an 8 bar one - and I'm writing as someone whose had intros go from 8 bars, to 4, to 2, each time with someone saying "you should shorten the intro", and each time thinking "****, you're right".

Absent an insane hook that distinguishes the intro from the verse, oftentimes all that happens is that, by bar 8 of an intro, the listener has heard the same basic elements repeated 4 times, and is already experiencing mild listener fatigue by the time the vocals finally arrive - which is why, I guess, a lot of chart pop has brutally short-but-effective intros.

Just my 2c. Keep up the good work!
Old 11th August 2015
  #2912
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by owenlt View Post
Agree with someone else's verdict re: the intro.

Honestly, I think you'd get more impact from 2 bars drums then straight in with vocals and guitars.

It's a great irony of intros, that a 2 bar intro can be twice as good as an 8 bar one - and I'm writing as someone whose had intros go from 8 bars, to 4, to 2, each time with someone saying "you should shorten the intro", and each time thinking "****, you're right".

Absent an insane hook that distinguishes the intro from the verse, oftentimes all that happens is that, by bar 8 of an intro, the listener has heard the same basic elements repeated 4 times, and is already experiencing mild listener fatigue by the time the vocals finally arrive - which is why, I guess, a lot of chart pop has brutally short-but-effective intros.

Just my 2c. Keep up the good work!

As a great songwriter (Tom Petty) once said, don't bore us, get to the chorus.
Old 11th August 2015
  #2913
Gear Maniac
 

Unless your verse melody is more interesting than your chorus melody.. or you don't have a proper chorus at all (e.g. Hey there, Delilah).
Old 12th August 2015
  #2914
Old 15th August 2015
  #2915
Lives for gear
Be great to hear your thoughts on this track (Overdose).

https://soundcloud.com/kanewilliams-...-stuff/s-gm5NJ

Is there a market for this type of music/production? The other tracks are demo's in various stages of "roughness".

Thanks
Old 15th August 2015
  #2916
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Unclenny's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
https://soundcloud.com/kanewilliams-...-stuff/s-gm5NJ

Is there a market for this type of music/production?
I thoroughly enjoyed this track. It is well produced and it moves.....

The market is fickle but stuff like this should always find a place.
Old 15th August 2015
  #2917
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Unclenny's Avatar
And since I'm here.....here's something just finished that is very different from that Mr. Funk track.

Short Parade
Old 15th August 2015
  #2918
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unclenny View Post
I thoroughly enjoyed this track. It is well produced and it moves.....

The market is fickle but stuff like this should always find a place.
Thank you, glad you liked it. I like your song too.

I have a rough demo in the "Rough Demo" forum (last page). Be interesting to hear your thoughts on that one.
Old 15th August 2015
  #2919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Be great to hear your thoughts on this track (Overdose).

https://soundcloud.com/kanewilliams-...-stuff/s-gm5NJ

Is there a market for this type of music/production? The other tracks are demo's in various stages of "roughness".

Thanks
Sounds terrific and a great groove!

In my very humble opionion what you need to make it commercial is stronger hooks. The only thing I remember after a quick-listen at low volume (which is all you're going to get from most listeners) is the smooth groove. No catchy words, no instantly gratifying melody, no standout riff.
Old 15th August 2015
  #2920
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Unclenny's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by thedberg View Post
the smooth groove.
Sometimes that's enough.

Old 15th August 2015
  #2921
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unclenny View Post
Sometimes that's enough.

Well, me loves a smooth groove . But the word "market" was used. And for that purpose hooks rule the world afaik.
Old 15th August 2015
  #2922
Lives for gear
Thanks for the input. I agree the chorus hook is not as strong in Overdose as my other songs but other people have told me they find it really catchy, so I thought the chorus was "strong enough". Do others agree there is nothing memorable about it? I was actually really pleased with the lyrics, but I guess they were lost on a casual listen.
Old 15th August 2015
  #2923
Here for the gear
 

Hey guys , new here but look forward to sharing and also checking out everyones tunes and recordings . I'm Tony , here is my stuff : https://soundcloud.com/tony-nash-1

Trying to get my own album done
Old 15th August 2015
  #2924
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Unclenny's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by thedberg View Post
the word "market" was used. And for that purpose hooks rule the world afaik.
I am nodding now in agreement.

Groove is good and it can be a hook....
Old 15th August 2015
  #2925
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unclenny View Post
I am nodding now in agreement.

Groove is good and it can be a hook....
Do you mean you are agreeing that the track has a good groove but that is about it, that it lacks a decent hook?

Thanks again guys for taking the time to respond.
Old 16th August 2015
  #2926
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Unclenny's Avatar
i have listened to music for more than five decades. I listen for feel first and lyrics later, especially with stuff like this. If I am tapping my old feet and moving my body to a song....I'm probably going to listen to it again.

I have listened to this one a number of times now.

The very first lyric in this one...a pill with your name on it...caught me up hard, but I was already going to listen to this entire song because of the groove that was set up before that.
Old 16th August 2015
  #2927
Lives for gear
Thanks Unclenny for taking the time to play it a few times and to listen to the lyrics.
Old 16th August 2015
  #2928
Lives for gear

Like both if these. The second is possibly my favorite. I find the lyrics a bit generic and cliche but I don't hate them.

Love the vocoder work. I'm a big fan of the vocoder, as it's just so funky and you did it well!

Good catchy, commercial sounding pop. Nice work.
Old 16th August 2015
  #2929
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by guittarzzan View Post

Just finished my first album and you can check it out here: Steven Whitaker | stevenwhitaker.rocks | Lyrics :

cheers,
Steve
Nice song. Very good lyrics, good timing and I like the riff. I agree, a little more if a solo would have been a bonus and a key change going into the last chorus would have been great.

Your voice grew one throughout the song and I think sounds best in the choruses. If you were to ever record it again with another lead singer, definitely do the back vocals in the chorus as it suits you.
Old 16th August 2015
  #2930
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by nameo View Post
I'd be happy to know what you think about the songwriting, performance and production.

https://soundcloud.com/unnote/have-i-been-charmed-demo-v3
At first I didn't like how prominent the organ was but I found it quite novel and I got used to it. The track is definitely interesting. The vocal and melody Reminded me of Bowie, although I'm no Bowie aficionado.

It does still sound like a home studio demo, but I think the song is worth a bit more work, may be with a producer who can take it up a level or two production wise.
Old 16th August 2015
  #2931
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Unclenny's Avatar
Mr Funk!!!

These are some excellent constructive critiques.

Old 17th August 2015
  #2932
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guittarzzan's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Nice song. Very good lyrics, good timing and I like the riff. I agree, a little more if a solo would have been a bonus and a key change going into the last chorus would have been great.

Your voice grew one throughout the song and I think sounds best in the choruses. If you were to ever record it again with another lead singer, definitely do the back vocals in the chorus as it suits you.
Thanks for the feedback and thanks for listening. This was my first album and I did it with kind of a assembly line methodology to be time efficient. Looking back, I wish I had just immersed myself in each song until I was in love with every aspect of it instead of rushing through each track and moving onto the next song. The modulating up for the last chorus is a good idea and just something I didn't think of because of my hurried state of mind. Good wisdom for my next project.
thanks,
Steve
Old 17th August 2015
  #2933
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chrisdee's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Like both if these. The second is possibly my favorite. I find the lyrics a bit generic and cliche but I don't hate them.

Love the vocoder work. I'm a big fan of the vocoder, as it's just so funky and you did it well!

Good catchy, commercial sounding pop. Nice work.
Thanks.

I just added even more vocoder to the tracks (swapped out the verses) and uploaded one more track.

I'm a fan of vocoders/talkbox aswell.
Old 17th August 2015
  #2934
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisdee View Post
Thanks.

I just added even more vocoder to the tracks (swapped out the verses) and uploaded one more track.

I'm a fan of vocoders/talkbox aswell.
Is the link the same?
Old 18th August 2015
  #2935
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chrisdee's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Is the link the same?
Yes.
Old 18th August 2015
  #2936
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Be great to hear your thoughts on this track (Overdose).

https://soundcloud.com/kanewilliams-...-stuff/s-gm5NJ
]
Is there a market for this type of music/production? The other tracks are demo's in various stages of "roughness".

Thanks
Loved your track! I'm probably too old to be the target market but good music is good music. Reminded me of the old Lee Ritenour days, great progressions, melodic and the groove is just right.
Old 18th August 2015
  #2937
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by RKeefe1032 View Post
Loved your track! I'm probably too old to be the target market but good music is good music. Reminded me of the old Lee Ritenour days, great progressions, melodic and the groove is just right.
Oh thanks so much for that. I'm embarrassed to say I don't know Lee Ritenour but will check him out. My good friend Vad did the arrangement inspired by my demo but to be honest his version does not resemble mine very much at all! He's very talented and I'm lucky to have him as both a friend and collaborator. He's a good ME too if anyone needs good mastering as an affordable price!
Old 18th August 2015
  #2938
Here for the gear
 
nameo's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
At first I didn't like how prominent the organ was but I found it quite novel and I got used to it. The track is definitely interesting. The vocal and melody Reminded me of Bowie, although I'm no Bowie aficionado.

It does still sound like a home studio demo, but I think the song is worth a bit more work, may be with a producer who can take it up a level or two production wise.
Thank you very much for your comments.
It is interesting, I've never really listened to Bowie...

By the way, let me say that I liked all the tracks in the playlist you posted, especially "Overdose". I think you are being too modest asking if there is a market for this type of music. I hope it gets more exposure.

As for my song, I have no access to a producer or any other professional in the music business. This forum has been my biggest source for learning about recording, mixing and production. Before I started reading it several years ago I knew almost nothing about the technical aspects of music production.

I am taking into account the advice you guys are giving me in this thread and will try to improve what I can.

Thanks again, Mr Funk.

Last edited by nameo; 18th August 2015 at 10:07 PM..
Old 18th August 2015
  #2939
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by nameo View Post
Thank you very much for your comments.
It is interesting, I've never really listened to Bowie...

By the way, let me say that I liked all the tracks in the playlist you posted, especially "Overdose". I think you are being too modest asking if there is a market for this type of music. I hope it gets more exposure.

As for my song, I have no access to a producer or any other professional in the music business. This forum has been my biggest source for learning about recording, mixing and production. Before I started reading it several years ago I knew almost nothing about the technical aspects of music production.

I am taking into account the advice you guys are giving me in this thread and will try to improve what I can.

Thanks again, Mr Funk.
You are welcome and thanks for listening and liking my songs.

Overdose is the most "produced" and others will follow that standard.

I'm sure you can find some collaborators on here. Post in the collaboration forum. I've found some good people that way.
Old 19th August 2015
  #2940
Here's the latest demo recorded with some old band mates on a recent Sunday afternoon using Cubase 8.0, Roland VDrums with Toontrack samples, Gibson Les Paul, Fender Precision Bass, Roland FA06, Kontact Player, EW Play, new Waves Saphira used in mixing. Still looking for a real lead singer to take over the vocal work but it was still a lot of fun to record. "Take the Heat"

www.soundcloud.com/tkeefe/heat
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