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Post your "finished" demos here
Old 19th January 2012
  #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ghostwriter View Post
Wow, another hit.

I keep listening to this one over and over, it is ready for the radio.
WOW, thanks man Hopefully my publisher and the song pluggers think so too!! ))
Old 19th January 2012
  #62
Gear Nut
 

Finished demos, lots of guitar, reverb, and empty space...



Full Set: RE:ML's sets on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free
Old 19th January 2012
  #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Boschen View Post
Seems like I'm always behind the curve... this one's been floating around in my trunk for two years; only comes out at Christmas.
Audio quality is iffy, as are some performance elements; I don't care, and I don't think I could catch that same vibe on a vocal re-take. Something seemed right, even with the flaws. It's also one of the few songs I've written that I felt actually had something worth saying in the lyric and music.
I'd love to hear any input on the writing and arrangement.

Noel....
I just have to say GREAT VOCALS! Not in the sense that they are flawless or anything...its just one of those performances where eventual mishaps or pitchy notes don't matter because it so feels like the singer has something to say! Good work!
Old 19th January 2012
  #64
Gear Head
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by ml692787 View Post
Finished demos, lots of guitar, reverb, and empty space...
Dude, I like it - i like the tone in your voice and the vibe - BUT... there's a timing issue with the delays on the 2 guitars and something clashing in the lo-mid freqs... which detracts...

hth

best, adam
Old 19th January 2012
  #65
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Yeah, right...'s Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by bran12081 View Post
Nice tune Andrebrito. I liked the transition to the vocal section, nice atmosphere.

My song is in my signature, newly finished and mastered.
I really like this song (In fact I listened to it 4 times) - both the vibe & the production.

Some comments include: For a song that's almost 5 minutes long I think I would work more on building the dynamics as the song progresses. For my taste the drop back to acoustic guitar & vocals after the first chorus is a bit to great. I'd continue the bass & drums and for the next chorus & outro add a small number of extra elements. B3 springs to mind. And maybe a few tasteful solo guitar licks...?

The BV's are nice, but to my mind are a little late in making their appearance. I'd think about having spot BV's on the occasional line (or even 3-4 words) in the first chorus. Could also do this in the second verse to help lift it a little...?

The drums could maybe come a little more forward in the mix.

whatever, that's just my personal taste.

All-in-all it's a well-produced song. And I really like the "surprise" ending

Well done. Mike
Old 19th January 2012
  #66
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dkeatscary View Post


This is one that I don't feel I can go much further with. I'm the vocalist, and while I'm not thrilled with my performance, it's for the most part decent.

Hope you'll listen - I am really interested in feedback! Lyrics are below:

Cheers,
Dave
-------------------------------

Lifeline

What I miss, what I miss most
Is the devil in your eyes and the angel in your soul
And I want just to know you're well
That the angel hasn't left, that the devil's raising hell

Five years is a long time, someone becomes your lifeline
They pick you up and make you shine, save you when you're sinking

Oh, this is what we do
You save me and I save you
Lose ourselves and need to be rescued
No matter how hard it gets
Even if it leaves us fighting for breath
Love is strong enough to pull us from the darkness

When all my drifting ends, maybe I'll find love again
It'll never be the same, even if I could pretend
'Cause your voice echoes in my head
And a part of me longs for silence, but it never seems to fade

Five years is a long time, someone becomes your lifeline
They find you in the nick of time just as you stop believing

Now everything's a shade of grey
And all my strength has drained away
I'm just a man who's overboard
And no one's there to hear me calling

Oh, this is what we do
You save me and I save you
Lose ourselves and need to be rescued
No matter how hard it gets
Or even if it leaves us fighting for breath
Love is strong enough to pull us from the darkness

And I need your lifeline now
I need your lifeline now
I need your lifeline now

Copyright 2012, David Keats
Great song Dave - well done. I like the feel, the arrangement and the lyrics, and despite your reservations I think the vocals are really good & deliver what the song needs.

Speaking of the vocals, for my taste they need to come up in level quite a bit - at the moment they are buried in the mix too much. Also, I'd put BV's in there for sure. For example, for a start on lines such as "Five years is a long time" and "They pick you up and make you shine" and then the rest of the chorus.

Also, I'd look at picking up the energy of the song a little earlier than it is at present (c. 2 mins), but apart from that, again, well done.


Mike
Old 19th January 2012
  #67
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pinkheadedbug's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkeatscary View Post


This is one that I don't feel I can go much further with. I'm the vocalist, and while I'm not thrilled with my performance, it's for the most part decent.
Great song. I have a couple of notes on the mix though. I would pull back on the Autotune a bit - it's got that velvety Bublé sound which is quite addictive but it kind of kills the sincerity and intimacy of the song. I makes it sound kind of radio-friendly but it is going to date badly IMO. I would just notch it back 20% and let a little bit of the grit through. There's a nice honest quality to your voice which is at odds with the Autotune gloss for me.

Also it sounds like there is a glitchy vocal edit at 0'45 into the 'save you when you're sinking' line. There's also a weird squelch in the backing track at 1'55 which took me out of the song momentarily.
Old 19th January 2012
  #68
JvM
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Can't Embed SoundCloud Player???

Ok... idiot question here. I go to embed my song & I can't figure out why it won't work.

Normally I just use the "embed media" tab on sites, but there isn't one I can find here. I posted the url & tried the other different options, but when the SoundCloud player shows up, it says track is currently unavailable? (see below). The file is there at SoundClouds site & plays fine for me. Forever - by Jay von Mohr by Jay von Mohr on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

How do you embed the player on this forum correctly?

Thanks,

JvM

Old 19th January 2012
  #69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sventvkg View Post
This is awesome! Glad they finally put in a songwriting forum

Anyway this one is about done but i'm still tweaking the mix.

Excellent excellent job sventvkg! Top song and great playing & production. IMHO, radio ready... The only little thing I would possibly try is, in the break-down immediately after the solo, I'd give it a shot at stripping it down to just piano & vocals and see how that sounded? IF it worked, it would increase the impact of the last chorus...

Very well done. Good luck with it. Mike
Old 19th January 2012
  #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah, right... View Post
Excellent excellent job sventvkg! Top song and great playing & production. IMHO, radio ready... The only little thing I would possibly try is, in the break-down immediately after the solo, I'd give it a shot at stripping it down to just piano & vocals and see how that sounded? IF it worked, it would increase the impact of the last chorus...

Very well done. Good luck with it. Mike
Thanks Mike. Good advice because it does seem too busy. I'm going to revisit it and strip some things out during different parts as well..Acoustic in Choruses, etc...I'll give your suggestion a shot!
Old 19th January 2012
  #71
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Hi everyone!
I'm a "young" Italian composer, I'd love to have you opinion on some of my work.





To get more info please refer to: Valerio Pellegri | Free Music, Tour Dates, Photos, Videos

or Valerio Pellegri on Vimeo
Old 19th January 2012
  #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JvM View Post
Ok... idiot question here. I go to embed my song & I can't figure out why it won't work.
Paste the URL of your soundcloud track, select it, then press the soundcloud button or just type the soundcloud tags like this:

HTML Code:
[SOUNDCLOUD]http://soundcloud.com/jayvonmohr/forever[/SOUNDCLOUD]
Old 20th January 2012
  #73
Gear Nut
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2k2k View Post
Dude, I like it - i like the tone in your voice and the vibe - BUT... there's a timing issue with the delays on the 2 guitars and something clashing in the lo-mid freqs... which detracts...

hth

best, adam
Thanks for the feedback, I have just started playing around with mixing tracks and this could have been mixed much better!
Old 20th January 2012
  #74
JvM
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Thanks Pinkheadedbug...

Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkheadedbug View Post
Paste the URL of your soundcloud track, select it, then press the soundcloud button or just type the soundcloud tags like this:

HTML Code:
[SOUNDCLOUD]http://soundcloud.com/jayvonmohr/forever[/SOUNDCLOUD]

Thanks Pinkheadedbug!

JvM
Old 20th January 2012
  #75
JvM
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Forever..

Hey all,

Here is a song of mine called Forever. Let me know your thoughts.

Thanks,

Jay von Mohr





Forever
Lyrics & Music by Jay von Mohr (Copyright- Jay von Mohr 2012)

Verse1

You’re my girl,
You watch my back
& Walk with me through,

This dark & lonely world
You light it up girl,
From the inside out

Love’s the only thing
That can conquer the hate

You’re the only thing
That makes my life feel so great…

Chorus1

On & on,
On & on,
On & on,

We’ll be together…Forever

On & on,
On & on,
On & on,

We’ll be together…Forever

Verse 2

You’re the one
You make me laugh
& Help me break through,

The problems in my world
You show me answers,
I can’t figure out

You’re the only one
That can conquer your fate

Your love’s the only thing
That makes my whole life so great…

Chorus 2

On & on,
On & on,
On & on,

We’ll be together…Forever

On & on,
On & on,
On & on,

We’ll be together…Forever

Bridge

When the darkness fell
I wanted to end it all
You helped me make it to the light

& When I’m filled with pain
You make me feel o.k.
You give me somethin’ to live for…

Verse 3

You’re my girl,
You got my back
As you walk with me through,

A cold & lonely world
You light it up yeah,
You got me figured out

Love is all we need
Is a line that won’t break

You’re my only one
You make my whole world feel so great…

Chorus 3

On & on,
On & on,
On & on,

We’ll be together…Forever

On & on,
On & on,
On & on,

We’ll be together…Forever

Last edited by JvM; 20th January 2012 at 05:47 AM.. Reason: Added Lyrics
Old 20th January 2012
  #76
Gear Head
 

Broken Brother by summer va: Genre ??

Here's a co-write of mine from last year, done with a very talented Swedish singer-songwriter named Annika Fehling.



The 'production' such as it is, is a bit thin, a bit undistinguished... I know that.

What I am interested in getting, is some feedback on the GENRE of this song: is it Country ? Is it Alt-Folk ? Personally, I'm not really fussed and don't pay much attention to which genre - it's a song first and foremost - but I'm continually tempted to submit it to "Need Country songs for xxx" opportunities and always find myself holding back.

Anyone got any thoughts on this ?

Last edited by 2k2k; 20th January 2012 at 12:38 PM.. Reason: sig dissappeared
Old 21st January 2012
  #77
Gear Head
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yeah, right... View Post
I really like this song (In fact I listened to it 4 times) - both the vibe & the production.

Some comments include: For a song that's almost 5 minutes long I think I would work more on building the dynamics as the song progresses. For my taste the drop back to acoustic guitar & vocals after the first chorus is a bit to great. I'd continue the bass & drums and for the next chorus & outro add a small number of extra elements. B3 springs to mind. And maybe a few tasteful solo guitar licks...?

The BV's are nice, but to my mind are a little late in making their appearance. I'd think about having spot BV's on the occasional line (or even 3-4 words) in the first chorus. Could also do this in the second verse to help lift it a little...?

The drums could maybe come a little more forward in the mix.

whatever, that's just my personal taste.

All-in-all it's a well-produced song. And I really like the "surprise" ending

Well done. Mike
Thanks for listening and the comments Mike, I really appreciate it. I can feel all of your comments. This is one of those I got to a certain point and just left it because as I was adding I didn't dig it as much. But I think you are right, it could use some more jazz to it, b3, tasty guit. And honestly, I feel the same way about the 2nd verse lol.
Old 21st January 2012
  #78
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2k2k View Post
Here's a co-write of mine from last year, done with a very talented Swedish singer-songwriter named Annika Fehling.



The 'production' such as it is, is a bit thin, a bit undistinguished... I know that.

What I am interested in getting, is some feedback on the GENRE of this song: is it Country ? Is it Alt-Folk ? Personally, I'm not really fussed and don't pay much attention to which genre - it's a song first and foremost - but I'm continually tempted to submit it to "Need Country songs for xxx" opportunities and always find myself holding back.

Anyone got any thoughts on this ?
It's definitely not country.
I would agree with your Alt-Folk assessment.
Old 21st January 2012
  #79
ok

AKON'S HITLAB - OWEN G'S PROFILE

sm7b + saffire 24 + homeless and penniless

i think i do okay

oh - don't bother leaving comments ( for me )
i won't read them
i started doing this about two years ago - ( compressor = air compressor?! )

a couple of them were done on a fraudigy onboard chip + a phone monkey telephone mic i stole ( borrowed ) from work.

Code:
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G
HTML Code:
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__________________
Old 21st January 2012
  #80
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Best Dream

This is just acoustic guitar, vocal, and keyboard strings.
Attached Files
Old 23rd January 2012
  #81
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My band mates and I wrote this in 2010 and have played it at every show since.
I am currently working on a solo project and this song is going to come with me, but in a more dance pop sort of way.
Would love feedback.

Old 23rd January 2012
  #82
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Production for free (sound to good to be true)

Retrospekta is going to put out another various artist disk this year. The process is simple, you need to get in touch with Retrospekta on Facebook, send them a demo. If its good enough, they make a deal with you, produce the track and get it on the album. You don't have to pay to get it done.
Old 23rd January 2012
  #83
Here for the gear
 

I'm quite new to all of this so its difficult for me to critique other people's songs in any kind of way. I just wrote and recorded a song the other day, you all could give me some pointers. I think it may be demo quality (to my untrained ear - it was recorded in my bedroom) but you guys are probably better at judging that than I am.

Blues Creepin' In by eliasorbon on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

Thanks for the listen,
Elias
Old 24th January 2012
  #84
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Stevens View Post
My band mates and I wrote this in 2010 and have played it at every show since.
I am currently working on a solo project and this song is going to come with me, but in a more dance pop sort of way.
Would love feedback.

The content is great. Easily in the same calibre as any radio played pop rock band. Good pacing, subtle yet demanding guitar playing, solid hook, it has a really effective bridge vocal ... and i could keep going. It works.

My only gripe is that the vocals in the first verse are not playing very well with the rest of the band. Im not even being picky-- it was just the first thing I noticed was that the opening vocals sound either too loud or as if they are carrying some unnecessary noise (I'm not an engineer). In the second verse it's not even noticeable but when all the instruments are subdued in the beginning verse the breath trails and what not are very apparent. With that said, if you cleaned up that one single section of the recording you could easily have told me that was radio played song and I wouldn't have doubted it!
Old 24th January 2012
  #85
Quote:
Originally Posted by sventvkg View Post
This is awesome! Glad they finally put in a songwriting forum

Anyway this one is about done but i'm still tweaking the mix.

Nice! I like this a lot.
Old 24th January 2012
  #86


This is the first all original song I have ever written.
Old 25th January 2012
  #87
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Gentleman's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Stevens View Post
My band mates and I wrote this in 2010 and have played it at every show since.
I am currently working on a solo project and this song is going to come with me, but in a more dance pop sort of way.
Would love feedback.

Loved the verse, but the chorus is a bit of a musical cliche'. Too obvious and bland and a really overused pop chord progression, makes the song sound amateurish even though the production values are great. Also the solo plays the chorus melody, almost note for note, so if you thought the chorus was boring then the solo isn't doing its job and lifting it up a notch. The actual video looks great, I like seeing a Band close together on stage working on it, looks good!
Old 25th January 2012
  #88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Stevens View Post
My band mates and I wrote this in 2010 and have played it at every show since.
I am currently working on a solo project and this song is going to come with me, but in a more dance pop sort of way.
Would love feedback.

Nothing wrong with the song although as someone else said the chorus progression is a bit well worn, but that particular treatment is really dated and not in a good way -- a very generic 80s/90s kind of poprock feel, not a million miles from Loverboy. I can certainly see it working in a dance pop vein, but swing for the bleachers if you are going to do that.
Old 25th January 2012
  #89
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PS I totally agree about liking to see a band working together in a video. The band stuff was very well shot and lit.
Old 26th January 2012
  #90
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkheadedbug View Post
This is as close to finished as I've been able to get this track.

It's meant to be a sort of modern version of the epic sixties wall-of-sound kind of thing, Dusty Springfield meets The Lovin' Spoonful I guess (with a bit of Herman's Hermits if you listen carfully, plus some Monkees). The main piano is a double speed Mellotron sample, plus there's a ton of guitars in there, close to a dozen backing vocals, glockenspiel, four part horn section and even an orchestral harp at one point! Was a lot of fun to do.

Now thats what I call GREAT songwriting Every moment works. You should get this song to Robbie Williams... Well done!!
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