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Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #91
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monsieur x's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by andrebrito View Post
Here's a piece of mine with a singer, it is more into electronic pop

Uhm, nothing new here. Sounds like a B side from a 90's dance track.

Not a good sound. :/

I could've held that comment in, but there is simply no real composition, emotion, and definitely not a single good lyric in here, AT ALL.

Am I missing something, do you feel as if this song HAD TO BE (RE)WRITTEN?

Really? :/

Please tell me I have missed something. . .
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #92
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monsieur x's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris Lago View Post
Uhm, I'm not quite sure what to respond to this. I'm assuming this is for some sort of "comic relief" (read: torture).

Also, the vocal sound is tinny. The highs are pushed and weird, I found it distracting. . . but hey what do I know. . .

Cheers,
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Davido View Post
Obviously this is gonna get slated now due to me denting a few ego's, of people that just expect everyone to like their stuff. I do not have to prove anything to anyone. People dont have to justify criticism.

This is a single I wrote, and produced, released on Polydor/Universal. It was a hit, was used by Sky Sports as their main theme tune for last years Soccer season, amongst other great synch's.

Detroit Social Club - Northern Man - YouTube
Wonderful song.

My girlfriend says "it's okay, it's not bad." and she is more critical than I am!!!

Any way to enjoy an album of this that is simple? What do I buy and where?

Boy are those Buy Now links on YouTube critical! Remember that for when you are all done writing your music. ;0
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #94
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monsieur x's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Davido View Post
Another one...

Detroit Social Club - Chemistry. - YouTube

By the way, mixed by the mixing legend Cenzo Townshend. Any criticism on sounds or mix can be sent to him. But by your logic, you wont be allowed to do that, seen as neither as as good or successful as him
Wonderful everything here, it moves me more than Northern Man, but I feel like both are necessary.

Superior!
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #95
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monsieur x's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoBeach View Post
I can't listen to stuff like this personally, what's the sense in having good musicianship and a decent melody if you're going to put off key or flat vocals on top of it? To me it would be like the guitar solo going in and out of key. Vocals are just another instrument in the whole scheme of things, and should be as high quality as everything else on the track.
I agree!
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #96
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monsieur x's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramshackles View Post
This thread went a bit wayward....well, to bring it back to it's original intentions, here are 2 tracks which will sit right in the middle of our first EP, which we hope to have ready by the end of the month. They haven't been mastered or anything yet. Critique away all you like! (but being constructive would be nice! thanks :P)

Sister:


First Snow:
Sister:
A part in the middle might go on for a bit too long without voice, the drums are un-necessarily sloppy, and I am not sure about the coda.

I think a good mix would help A LOT. Sounds like a rough mix, I could refer someone appropriate for this sort of material for mixing.

First snow:
Kind of cool. Needs a proper mix though, still too "straight". Maybe also elaborate on the arrangement. Could work well on an album, or be a curve-ball single of some sort! Neat.


Cheers,
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #97
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pinkheadedbug's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by monsieur x View Post
The harmonic rhythm is too confusing, I have a tough singing a melody from memory even though I've just listened to it a few times in a row trying to understand what it's lacking. :/
I think this is probably because I deliberately tend to screw around a bit with the chord structures and key centers. For example, in this one the main verse structure is nine bars long instead of eight. It goes

F Dm Am Gm7 C (Dm C) Bb A7sus4 A7

You sort of expect it to hang around on the Am for two bars, but I deliberately went to the (unstable) Gm7 early just to make it feel a bit strange. It has the same effect I think as an odd time signature like 5/8 or 7/8. A lot of my favorite songs do this kind of thing and take a few listens before you get comfortable with the way the song is put together -- and after that they seem perfectly normal.

And you can see that the chord sequence ends on A7 so you expect it to go back to D but instead it heads back to F again and it is that strangeness which I realy like.

You finally get the D your are waiting for in the chorus, but then in the second chorus there's the modulation from D to F just to screw you up again, and in the third chorus from F to Ab. The melodic content is really quite simply but it keeps following the chord changes so you never get too comfortable with it.

I guess it really is a bit perverse but I enjoy it. Sorry if it doesn't light your candle!

Quote:
I know we're not supposed to talk about production, but I want to mention the production is acceptable for a songwriting demo, but perhaps you should strip it all back to drums, chords, and some notes on the piano for just the melodic voice. It sounds like you don't know what the melody should be, very confusing for me as the listener, and your performance also suffers because of it I believe.

Wishing you the best, hope this helps somehow,
I think that's just my poor singing, to be honest, and maybe my love of backing vocals which often tend to overpower the main vocal line.
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #98
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monsieur x's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkheadedbug View Post
I think this is probably because I deliberately tend to screw around a bit with the chord structures and key centers. For example, in this one the main verse structure is nine bars long instead of eight. It goes

F Dm Am Gm7 C (Dm C) Bb A7sus4 A7

You sort of expect it to hang around on the Am for two bars, but I deliberately went to the (unstable) Gm7 early just to make it feel a bit strange. It has the same effect I think as an odd time signature like 5/8 or 7/8. A lot of my favorite songs do this kind of thing and take a few listens before you get comfortable with the way the song is put together -- and after that they seem perfectly normal.

And you can see that the chord sequence ends on A7 so you expect it to go back to D but instead it heads back to F again and it is that strangeness which I realy like.

You finally get the D your are waiting for in the chorus, but then in the second chorus there's the modulation from D to F just to screw you up again, and in the third chorus from F to Ab. The melodic content is really quite simply but it keeps following the chord changes so you never get too comfortable with it.

I guess it really is a bit perverse but I enjoy it. Sorry if it doesn't light your candle!



I think that's just my poor singing, to be honest, and maybe my love of backing vocals which often tend to overpower the main vocal line.
Interesting. . . maybe leave this song be what it will be, and next song you start, try the KISS method. (Keep It Simple Silly)

Too much going on that you and the listener can't handle!! KISS.
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #99
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monsieur x View Post
Try the KISS method. (Keep It Simple Silly)
Ha, if I had a dollar for the number of times I've been told that. I've never been able to write a three or four chord song. It''s just not the way I hear music, for some reason.

OK, I could probably write a three chord song in 13/8. I'm not sure that's what you're looking for though.
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #100
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monsieur x's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkheadedbug View Post
Ha, if I had a dollar for the number of times I've been told that. I've never been able to write a three or four chord song. It''s just not the way I hear music, for some reason.

OK, I could probably write a three chord song in 13/8. I'm not sure that's what you're looking for though.
If you want a hobby that's one thing. . . but is this your career? You better figure out how to keep it simple!!!
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #101
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pinkheadedbug's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by monsieur x View Post
If you want a hobby that's one thing. . . but is this your career? You better figure out how to keep it simple!!!
Well, that's a good point. I already have a career. Music is a pleasure for me. I'm interested in writing good, and maybe once in a while, great songs. I could care less if they're commercial.

Don't get me wrong: my genre is essentially pop, and I don't see any reason why a great song shouldn't be popular or a popular song shouldn't be great, but ultimately I'm writing for myself and whoever 'gets' my stuff.

The hardest thing of all is to write a simple, great song. That's something I've never even got close to achieving.
Old 9th January 2012 | Show parent
  #102
Quote:
Originally Posted by monsieur x View Post
Nothing grabbed me about this. . . however I definitely feel that at one minute you could have a few extra bars to allow the music to breath, and the listener reflect...
Thank you - that's just the type of critique I was looking for

Quote:
Originally Posted by monsieur x View Post
Anyway, some of you might need to develop better taste in art, food, and music before your music will reach the next level...
I've just finished home-baking organic spelt bread; reading Edge; planning a visit to the Hockney exhibition at the Royal Academy; & working on a video for this track (based on a melody I penned):

I hope this meets with your approval heh

Last edited by Arthur Stone; 9th January 2012 at 07:58 AM.. Reason: Life's not that short
Old 11th January 2012 | Show parent
  #103
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Stone View Post
I've just finished home-baking organic spelt bread; reading Edge; planning a visit to the Hockney exhibition at the Royal Academy; & working on a video for this track (based on a melody I penned):

I hope this meets with your approval heh
Arthur man, this was too funny... BTW, awesome orchestation!
Old 11th January 2012 | Show parent
  #104
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claend's Avatar
 

Well guys... here's a work in progress of a side project I have with some friends.

In a nutshell: We have this really nice neighbours next to the studio doing some kind of experimental theatre, and they offered us to put some music on this video of ideas they are developing.

In the link you'll hear the parts we've layered out during some sessions over the two last months. It's more experimental oriented than comercial as you will certainly see, a bit post-rock-ish in some moments, dare I say... Please skip the first 2 minutes or so... it's probably too boring and nothing remarkable to hear.

Now that we already have this parts, plus a few more not featured, I would appreciate any insights on how to take it further from this point, comments on a certain part or actually anyting you could think could help for any of those parts rather than the hole/story/concept, which is obviously kind of blurred still. I guess we still need to wait for them to finish the visual part of the story before taking it further musically... It's being an exciting experience though, even if it ends up in nothing.

It's just a faders mix with some comp on 2bus to avoid clipping, just a reference by now, although we used some outboard on the way in, I kind of like its rawness!

Sorry this got really long winded, like the video

Cheers,



UNIVERSOS PARALELOS on Vimeo



Carlos Perez
Old 12th January 2012 | Show parent
  #105
Quote:
Originally Posted by claend View Post
...awesome orchestation!
Thank you! All credit to Oliver Sadie on that score:Oliver Sadie's Spotlight page on SoundCloud - Create, record and share your sounds for free

Very nice guy - talented. There's a link to the rough demos of the video here:
The Ocean Symphony: Part One on Vimeo
The Ocean Symphony: Part Two on Vimeo


I'm positively blown away by your music and video - I can offer no criticism. It is thoroughly enchanting. Please pass on my respect to your colleagues for their skills.

I like the length - it feels like an immersive journey. Musically I like the textures and rhythms; the vocal element is just right. Bravo!

One point is that it would be nice if the reverb/ambience of the music matched the space in the video (just very subtley, underneath and unnoticeable)...if possible this might help the audio-video to gel more, acoustically. The sides are fine but, for me, the reverb could use more 'centre depth.'

To embed the video: when you click on 'reply to thread' the box will appear and click on the blue icon (with the white V) on the far right (top) and insert the Vimeo address in the reply box.

Best, Arthur : )
Old 12th January 2012 | Show parent
  #106
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claend's Avatar
 

Wow Arthur, thanks, it really means a lot... Already passed your words to my friends!

I totally agree with you on the reverb dept, I just threw 2 instances of VRoom and never looked back...

I guess my main worry is how are we going to make it feel as a hole piece of music... I guess there's a lot to do with Lay-motifs etc... But we need a final video for that. The fact is that the theatre guys will be out for a few months now.. and we could try to make it feel more homogeneous in the meantime...

On the timing side, It's around 1/2 an hour now... If once it's all said and done it ends up being a marketable show at all , I guess it should be a bit longer, don't you think? 45-50mins minimum IMO... Maybe this extra time should bridge all the ideas included IMO... Meaning being used to compell some kind of message, which is now mostly taken care bythe VO.

Anyway, thanks again for commenting Arthur,

Best wishes!
Old 12th January 2012 | Show parent
  #107
Very healthy thread. It gets to the point. Rather than what box should I get, what's the best (fill in the blank) or, that piece of gear sucks, it puts music first and allows people to chime in and offer constructive criticism. I would only add that as "professionals" have the foresight to imagine the songs fully realized with in some cases better vocals and in others, better production. The point is this is a songwriting thread and that is worthy. Too bad more people haven't participated. I would post something or rather will when I figure out how. Kind of new to this.....
Old 12th January 2012 | Show parent
  #108
Quote:
Originally Posted by claend View Post
...On the timing side, It's around 1/2 an hour now... If once it's all said and done it ends up being a marketable show at all , I guess it should be a bit longer, don't you think? 45-50mins minimum IMO... Maybe this extra time should bridge all the ideas included IMO... Meaning being used to compell some kind of message, which is now mostly taken care bythe VO....
...maybe a shorter video to gather interest...like a promo version...and then the full video? The performances would/will make a remarkable live show...very innovative. I'm reminded of Japanese Kabuki theatre : )

I thought the music was a perfect accompaniment and held interest all the way through with dominating the visuals.

Quote:
Originally Posted by claend View Post
...edit - Seems the embed isn't working... The link works though.
Sorry, yes - I was browsing Vimeo and I noticed you can't embed without a Plus account. Maybe use Youtube instead?
Old 12th January 2012 | Show parent
  #109
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bullseye View Post
Very healthy thread...allows people to chime in and offer constructive criticism.
Yes. I haven't ventured into these threads on Gearslutz before but it is a positive experience for me and I appreciate all the feedback, it's very helpful. Soundcloud is great too although the feedback is generally positive and supportive rather than critical. Sometimes critical is what's needed to take the music to the next level.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bullseye View Post
...I would post something or rather will when I figure out how. Kind of new to this.....
Any questions, please ask. I know the feeling - trying to work Facebook at the mo
Old 12th January 2012
  #110
Old 13th January 2012 | Show parent
  #111
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Stone View Post
...maybe a shorter video to gather interest...like a promo version...and then the full video? The performances would/will make a remarkable live show...very innovative. I'm reminded of Japanese Kabuki theatre : )
Hey Arthur, yes, there's a Teaser in the kitchen... Got the chance to see the video and it's actually great!

Actually.. we are trying some diferent parts on it... Which one you guys think fits the visuals better?

LANDAYMUSIC's Channel - YouTube

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Stone View Post

Sorry, yes - I was browsing Vimeo and I noticed you can't embed without a Plus account. Maybe use Youtube instead?

Arthur thanks a lot for taking the time to check Vimeo policies for me... I guess the link shall suffice then.

Cheers.
Old 13th January 2012 | Show parent
  #112
Quote:
Originally Posted by claend View Post
...Which one you guys think fits the visuals better?...
It's so hard to choose a favourite - I like 3,4, and 5 best...probably 4 for the electro vibe (heavier) and 5 for the lightness and lifting effect. I guess, for me, 5 fits better, but they are all great.
Old 13th January 2012
  #113
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Wow, just discovered this new sub-forum existed so happy to jump in. Here's a ballad I'm nutting out (country/pop I guess is the genre) getting the arrangement sorted.... I'm happy with the way the chorus is sounding big at 1.20. I think I'm most of the way there with the arrangement/structure, but needs real drums/guits obviously...

The (lyric) theme is that love is built from a foundation like a house, and when it collapses all that's left is a door to exit through and start out all over again. You know I said it was country, right lol.....

Old 15th January 2012 | Show parent
  #114
Gear Nut
 

This isn't really a demo, more of an idea, with a sloppy bit of improving on top :P

Not really sure what to do with it but anyway thought u guys' reactions might be interesting...
Attached Files

Pop song idea.mp3 (2.55 MB, 387 views)

Old 15th January 2012 | Show parent
  #115
Here for the gear
 

awesome laydown.... finish him!
Old 15th January 2012
  #116
Gear Nut
 

I may as well post more of my stuff on here... I have a bad habit of just not finishing stuff so I have about 50 Demo's lying around on various hardrives...

This one is a dub track I made a few months ago, it's got a psychedelic feel I've been told. Think I may leave it as it is.



BTW Im a complete n00b so not sure if the soundcloud thing is gonna be there
Attached Files

Dub Track 1.mp3 (7.56 MB, 348 views)

Old 15th January 2012
  #117
Gear Nut
 

Here's one more before I go, I was thinking 60s pop/rock when I did this... And I know the Organ is utter ****e

Old 16th January 2012 | Show parent
  #118
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Saddle's Avatar
 

Your Opinion Please

Here is a song I'm working on. Not sure of the genre... Pop, folk, country? Not good at guessing. If you can, download the file and listen. Seems to be in mono on Sound Cloud.. Strange. It is download enabled.

It's a rough mix. Still have BG vocals, a piano track, and who knows what else.

Thanks in advance!
Old 16th January 2012 | Show parent
  #119
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pinkheadedbug's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by stevelindsay View Post
Wow, just discovered this new sub-forum existed so happy to jump in. Here's a ballad I'm nutting out (country/pop I guess is the genre) getting the arrangement sorted.... I'm happy with the way the chorus is sounding big at 1.20. I think I'm most of the way there with the arrangement/structure, but needs real drums/guits obviously...

The (lyric) theme is that love is built from a foundation like a house, and when it collapses all that's left is a door to exit through and start out all over again. You know I said it was country, right lol.....

I like the idea of this song but the big chorus comes out of nowhere. I think you need to prepare for it with a much bigger build in the 'ooh' prechorus (which not coincidentally seems to end on a really blah chord instead of ramping up to the chorus).

The verse itself doesn't seem to build much momentum either. It's kind of 'sing a line, wait a bit, sing a line' instead of driving forwards. It might be an arrangement thing or an editing thing, but it would be worth it to get it right as the chorus is powerful.

I would cut the intro in half too and get to the song and the first chorus as fast as you can.
Old 16th January 2012
  #120
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monsieur x

I do agree with you the song is quite basic. It was indeed a matter of preference since this song is for clubbing, we decided to do something more minimalistic

I don't agree totally the music lacks emotion and I think the singer has a good voice indeed.
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