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Post your rough demos
Old 16th August 2020
  #9901
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
I can see why that isn't on the Gospel Album!
it seems to me depressing for the sake of being depressing.
I did like the use of distorted piano though the lot of it.
And the depression is cleverly, virtually stated.
These screens are the window to the worlds greatest library, the most amazing source of misinformation, and there is art in every single pixel.

OK, Maybe this is my happy place, cause over the top of the screen is my wife who just tried to take her blood sugar with her eyeglasses.
Thanks, yes this is from the ‘Personal’ album which is generally more downbeat and introspective and more influenced by shoe gaze and complaint rock.
Old 16th August 2020
  #9902
Gear Addict
 
jugetsu85's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlcoholByVolume View Post
That tune jams, man! And you are correct to be happy with the rhythm guitar tone. That sucker is NASTY
+ @ bkbirge @ Zyzygis @ wagtunes

Thanks again to all of you for the notes. Much appreciated.

I now have a revised version of the song available for possible further notes. Here are some changes to look out for:

- overdubbed the "woah" part in the chorus with "real" lyrics
- several subtractive EQ moves on to cut out harsh frequencies
- worked on the kick drum to have it better cut through the mix in the upper frequencies while still retaining a punchy low end. Haven't done a car test yet though
- recorded a new guitar lead part that comes in after the 1st chorus
- minor changes to the drum arrangement and mix
- added delay to the vocals, the effect changes between the sections as suggested by @ Zyzygis

I'm still wondering if I should extend the song with an additional chorus or something else. I kinda like it as it isjk but still not confident.
Attached Files

Feet in the Water 160820.mp3 (5.88 MB, 608 views)

Old 16th August 2020
  #9903
Gear Addict
 
jugetsu85's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlcoholByVolume View Post


Hey all, its been a while since Ive recorded anything, but I had a little moment of inspiration and have a little something in the works. Its possibly the shortest song Ive ever written. I intentionally left out the drums because I felt it gave the tune a more somber tune. Also, vocals are still scratch because of a massive wildfire burning a few miles away from me and the smoke makes singing well impossible.

Id love to hear your thoughts on this one. Hope everyone is doing well!
Love this man! I don't know what you mean by the smoke making singing impossible because I think what you got here is great for this song considering the lyrics and the mood of the track. For you to sound a little exhausted is a damn near perfect match for this song imho. Granted I could not listen in a treated environment and had to keep the volume quite low as my 1 year old son is sleeping on my lap as I write this

The fact that I like this song so much really gives me a confidence boost about my own song that is also quite short. Short is good it seems!
Old 16th August 2020
  #9904
Gear Addict
[QUOTE=gharrison0054;14909288]lol I'm not the one who's going to be singing this. This is just a scratch track i put together to get the song arrangement worked out. The band will head in to a studio to record this once I get it lined out arrangement wise. I have an actual singer that will be doing the final vocals. Thank you for the listen and kind words. Do you think the arrangement needs a verse dropped and ad in the middle 8 break, or just add in a middle 8 break?[/QUOTE

Sorry for the delay I've been busy making my self a midi classical guitar, and I'm obsessive.
Just putting the pickup in an old Yamaha, I'm not crazy enough to make my own guitar, just butcher an existing one.

It's a simple novelty song, you'd have to put Beethoven's 9th in there to make it anything else. But a middle 8 with some funky piano, why not! Verse dropping is usually a time issue, it didn't seem that long.
Old 17th August 2020
  #9905
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
Hey all, been awhile but here's a song I've been working on because a friend casually asked if I listened to country music. It's more alt-country than country but looking for constructive criticism and ideas of where to take it...
Maybe some of you will be interested in an update to a previous song I posted with country'ish sort of flavors. I did listen to the suggestions though perhaps it's not very evident given where the song is right now. Anyway, I do think it is more interesting than before, has real harp which was a lot of fun...
Old 18th August 2020
  #9906
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
Maybe some of you will be interested in an update to a previous song I posted with country'ish sort of flavors. I did listen to the suggestions though perhaps it's not very evident given where the song is right now. Anyway, I do think it is more interesting than before, has real harp which was a lot of fun...
Thats a really cool song, man! I really really dig it! Its tough to compare it to anything I'm familiar with as it really stands apart on its own. I particularly like the piano and bass work in it. Great stuff!
Old 18th August 2020
  #9907
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post
I hope you are doing ok and that you will be safe and the fire is under control.
Thanks for your kind words about my track, glad that you liked it.

I like this song, it’s simplicity is its strength as it makes me focus on the lyrics.
I have a couple of suggestions:

I think “She left me anyway” would sound better and make it more personal. Using “here” tends to distance you from her leaving somehow.

From the third verse I think a vocal harmony would lift the track and avoid it becoming too repetitive. The repetition is an important part of the track but it could do with some ornamental higher vocal harmonies, perhaps building up in layers until the last verse, sung solo to finish.
I like this idea. You are right. I was purposely avoiding using "me" in the song to avoid admitting it to be personal, but it IS personal so the song should be the same.

Ive already worked out some harmonies for the second half of the song so I'll have that in the next update.

Thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jugetsu85 View Post
Love this man! I don't know what you mean by the smoke making singing impossible because I think what you got here is great for this song considering the lyrics and the mood of the track. For you to sound a little exhausted is a damn near perfect match for this song imho. Granted I could not listen in a treated environment and had to keep the volume quite low as my 1 year old son is sleeping on my lap as I write this

The fact that I like this song so much really gives me a confidence boost about my own song that is also quite short. Short is good it seems!
I appreciate what you said about the vocals. I'm always chasing clean performances but maybe thats not my strong suit vocally. Thank you for the confidence boost as well!
Old 18th August 2020
  #9908


Here is something Ive been working on for a while. Ive always had the desire to do a rock version of the soft rock classic Sailing by Christopher Cross. I have not been happy with the mix on this one, but I think Ive made a breakthrough this week.

Please let me know your thoughts on this one from top to bottom. Would love to hear any input you all have on this adventure. Thank you!
Old 18th August 2020
  #9909
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlcoholByVolume View Post


Here is something Ive been working on for a while. Ive always had the desire to do a rock version of the soft rock classic Sailing by Christopher Cross. I have not been happy with the mix on this one, but I think Ive made a breakthrough this week.

Please let me know your thoughts on this one from top to bottom. Would love to hear any input you all have on this adventure. Thank you!
Cool treatment! I was kind of surprised at how well the chorus worked as a rocker. Your vocal delivery is a standout in all your tracks I've heard, serious pipes! In this one there are a few pitchy spots I might try and touch up either digitally or the old fashioned comping way depending on your preference/workflow. I think this version has some great bones to build on. I would also probably try and arrange for some more contrast in arrangement between verse and chorus to differentiate them more, could be something as simple as a tambourine on the 2 and 4 in the chorus for a random example. Also bring up those drums!
Old 18th August 2020
  #9910
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlcoholByVolume View Post
Thats a really cool song, man! I really really dig it! Its tough to compare it to anything I'm familiar with as it really stands apart on its own. I particularly like the piano and bass work in it. Great stuff!
Hey thanks, appreciate the listen and feedback!
Old 19th August 2020
  #9911
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlcoholByVolume View Post


Here is something Ive been working on for a while. Ive always had the desire to do a rock version of the soft rock classic Sailing by Christopher Cross. I have not been happy with the mix on this one, but I think Ive made a breakthrough this week.

Please let me know your thoughts on this one from top to bottom. Would love to hear any input you all have on this adventure. Thank you!
I like it better than the original but for some reason I've always hated that song. How's that for review, lol.
Old 21st August 2020
  #9912
Here for the gear
 

BKbirge , that was hella interesting. I liked the way the bass track popped.

Alchoholbyvolume , I really like what you did with sailing. The only thing I could say was that at times it sounded like the vocals were off key.

I have a few ideas I've been working on , but damn..... You guys are leaps and bounds ahead of me.
I.probably got y'all beat in the " rough" category as mine are about as rough as it gets. All I have is a cheap ass Fender acoustic that the bottom E that buzzes on the G fret and a cell phone I record on bandlab. It's RUFF as it gets.
Old 24th August 2020
  #9913
Old 25th August 2020
  #9914
Here for the gear
 

I know this is the rough drafts thread but you gave some good advise on my draft a couple months ago, quoted below. You recommended finding a female vocalist and changing the structure. I ended up writing a new chorus and moving things around. Also started working with a guitar player. Maybe if there's a season 4 of Twin Peaks he can use this at the end credits. I'm posting the youtube link here to the finished product. Thanks again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLrnTmNTKLM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MyHatGuy View Post
You got a great vibe going here and the production is just right for this track. Reminds me of something that would of been played at The Roadhouse in Twin Peaks The Return. I can picture (hear?) it with a super airy female vocal singing the main lines with your "ha ha ha" background vocals. Definitely keep the "ha ha ha" background vocal part as is, I think it really adds to the vibe.

As noted, it does get a bit repetitive. Just a few ideas to kind of break it up without doing a major overhaul/writing new sections.

I think you could employ some muting on tracks to get some variation throughout. Like maybe everything but the piano riff is muted for a few bars, or maybe everything drops out and its just the vocal and kick.

You could also let the intro build more tension by letting it run just the kick for the first like 5 seconds, then slow bring up the synth stab part after a few seconds, then the piano, ect. Or reverse it and start with the synth stabs and slowly fade up the kick (check out Taylor Swift's The Archer, it has an intro kind of like this suggestion that I've been trying to "retool.")

A synth string melody with the current progression over a section would also change it up a bit and maybe create a sort of mid-8. I believe the Chromatics' song Shadow does something similar, and of course it has a very similar vibe to this track (also featured on Twin Peaks).

Anyway, just some ideas from a different perspective. You're off to a great start, looking forward to seeing where you take it.
Old 25th August 2020
  #9915
Gear Head
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wheatfield View Post
I know this is the rough drafts thread but you gave some good advise on my draft a couple months ago, quoted below. You recommended finding a female vocalist and changing the structure. I ended up writing a new chorus and moving things around. Also started working with a guitar player. Maybe if there's a season 4 of Twin Peaks he can use this at the end credits. I'm posting the youtube link here to the finished product. Thanks again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLrnTmNTKLM
Pardon my French, but Jesus ****in' Christ dude, this sounds incredible. Really knocked it out of there. That gal has an awesome voice.

Hope you got some more gems coming down the pipes!
Old 25th August 2020
  #9916
Here for the gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MyHatGuy View Post
Pardon my French, but Jesus ****in' Christ dude, this sounds incredible. Really knocked it out of there. That gal has an awesome voice.

Hope you got some more gems coming down the pipes!
Thanks man! Do me a favor and like the video, we're trying to get some views on this.
Old 25th August 2020
  #9917
Gear Head
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wheatfield View Post
Thanks man! Do me a favor and like the video, we're trying to get some views on this.
Had to smash subscribe and send the link out to a few people I know that really love music like this. Not Alone is awesome too man.
Old 25th August 2020
  #9918
Here for the gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MyHatGuy View Post
Had to smash subscribe and send the link out to a few people I know that really love music like this. Not Alone is awesome too man.
Haha, good stuff thank you!
Old 25th August 2020
  #9919
Lives for gear
 
clump's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wheatfield View Post
I know this is the rough drafts thread but you gave some good advise on my draft a couple months ago, quoted below. You recommended finding a female vocalist and changing the structure. I ended up writing a new chorus and moving things around. Also started working with a guitar player. Maybe if there's a season 4 of Twin Peaks he can use this at the end credits. I'm posting the youtube link here to the finished product. Thanks again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLrnTmNTKLM
I remember the rough demo, you have definitely realised all of that potential, this sounds excellent....I can almost see the end credits of a film rolling up as I listen to it.
Old 6th September 2020
  #9920
Gear Head
 

hi guys, i made some soul
Attached Files

soul7e.mp3 (5.35 MB, 267 views)

Old 7th September 2020
  #9921
Quote:
Originally Posted by popp View Post
hi guys, i made some soul
That's a nice bed, though I wouldn't call it soul. To me it sounds reminiscent of J-pop. Not bad, could be turned into something. The electric piano sound attack tears my head off on some of the higher notes, I'd shelve some of that high end out.
Old 7th September 2020
  #9922
Gear Head
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
That's a nice bed, though I wouldn't call it soul. To me it sounds reminiscent of J-pop. Not bad, could be turned into something. The electric piano sound attack tears my head off on some of the higher notes, I'd shelve some of that high end out.
Thanks! Yes you are right about the piano. Now i hear it.

About the grid: Yes i drew it in piano roll. I will record it with my midi keyboard if i get the time. With my skills i need multiple takes
Old 9th September 2020
  #9923
Lives for gear
 
clump's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by drcmusic View Post
Thanks for the added clarification although it was not needed and it seems to be loaded with standard Gearslutz vitriol.

That is completely unnecessary.

I'd appreciate you moving on.
Thank you
In a similar way your comment to @ popp was a passive aggressive put down of his work, you didn't critique it, you just seemed to be wanting others to see how clever you are at his expense.

I wouldn't have sunk this low, but I noticed on another thread you where ripping this one, and other 'songwriting forums' to pieces....somebody suggested that you post some of your own work, you refused outright yet you still turn up here to criticise others on a regular basis.
Old 9th September 2020
  #9924
Old 9th September 2020
  #9925
Gear Head
 

Old 15th September 2020
  #9926
Lives for gear
 
mikeg09's Avatar
Here's a new pop style song that I made a few days ago. Mixed and Mastered by me!

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CFDznUbD2K_/
Old 4 weeks ago
  #9927
Old 4 weeks ago
  #9928
Quote:
Originally Posted by ejanuska View Post
Love it. A smoothed out marriage of David Baerwald, Tom Waits, and Ry Cooder. Needs real drums.
Old 4 weeks ago
  #9929
Gear Head
 

Thanks

Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
Love it. A smoothed out marriage of David Baerwald, Tom Waits, and Ry Cooder. Needs real drums.
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. Drums are in the works, but its taking a long time.
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