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Post your rough demos
Old 6th August 2020
  #9871
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by jugetsu85 View Post
Hey guys, here is a rough demo of a new song that I am currently working on. This of course still needs lots of work in all respects... but maybe let me know what you like/don't like about it as it is now? Your notes will help me finish it and extract its potential.. I'll be back working on it in a couple of days from now.

In its current stage this track is the shortest song I've ever written, and I reckon it will probably stay that way even after I've finished it properly. I wonder if that is kind of a trending thing in music right now? :-D

One thing I gotta say is that I don't think I've ever before been as satisfied with a "real" mic'd high gain rhythm guitar tone than I am with what I have here. I bought a used set of Celestion V60 speakers and put them in my 2x12 cab and run my 6505 head into it... and man I'm loving what the mic is picking up! The tone doesn't need a lot of processing to have the heavy 7string gtr sit in the mix in comparison to what I'm previously used to.. very happy with the purchase.
Really quiet around here. Oh well.

Anyway, nice heavy sound to this one. Like the little guitar breaks in the vocals, which are really clear. Reminds me of early Switchfoot.

Anyway, I like it. Looking forward to the finished version.
Old 6th August 2020
  #9872
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
What a cool song. Great lyrics and I'm super jealous of your vocal ability, you totally sold that song. To my ears the piano is way over compressed, I know it's going for that pop sensibility but I'd back off on it a bit and let the piano breathe, let those peaks through. Then there could be room for that cello or another bass instrument down there.

I don't really know how to follow that but here's a rock tune I've been working on that's at a stage I could use some constructive songwriting-oriented criticism on if the experts here have time, feels like it's missing something to me...
https://soundcloud.com/bkbirge/jrny/s-VGrdfbTk8WO
That’s a brilliant track! I loved every second. It was wonderfully arranged, produced and performed!
Is that you singing? I love the voice it has so much positive energy.
One of the best and most original songs I have heard in this thread or anywhere actually.
Well done man!
Old 6th August 2020
  #9873
Lives for gear
 
clump's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post

I don't really know how to follow that but here's a rock tune I've been working on that's at a stage I could use some constructive songwriting-oriented criticism on if the experts here have time, feels like it's missing something to me...
https://soundcloud.com/bkbirge/jrny/s-VGrdfbTk8WO
**** me that's good.....It's infectious and really original, if it was on 'Juke Box Jury' I'd be holding up my 'HIT' placard.

Can't think of any "criticism" at all, although if I was an A&R man and was presented with this track, I would be trying to edit it down to around the 3 minute mark in order to procure an international number 1 hit...which it potentially is.

Brilliant stuff.
Old 6th August 2020
  #9874
Lives for gear
 
clump's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post


Another mix from the Personal album.
Piano, drums, strings and vocals.
I think I got the balance right but if anyone has any thoughts, criticisms please let me know.
Thanks
Not often one hears two excellent tracks in one sitting around here....what with this and bk's 'JRNY'.....it's like busses, you wait for ages in vain, **** all, then two arrive together.

Love this melody Zyz...it meanders beautifully, the whole thing is crafted so well.

I would turn the radio up if this came on.
Old 7th August 2020
  #9875
Quote:
Originally Posted by clump View Post
Not often one hears two excellent tracks in one sitting around here....what with this and bk's 'JRNY'.....it's like busses, you wait for ages in vain, **** all, then two arrive together.

Love this melody Zyz...it meanders beautifully, the whole thing is crafted so well.

I would turn the radio up if this came on.
Thanks again for your kind words.
I am really happy to get such positive responses.
Old 7th August 2020
  #9876
Quote:
Originally Posted by jugetsu85 View Post
Hey guys, here is a rough demo of a new song that I am currently working on. This of course still needs lots of work in all respects... but maybe let me know what you like/don't like about it as it is now? Your notes will help me finish it and extract its potential.. I'll be back working on it in a couple of days from now.

In its current stage this track is the shortest song I've ever written, and I reckon it will probably stay that way even after I've finished it properly. I wonder if that is kind of a trending thing in music right now? :-D

One thing I gotta say is that I don't think I've ever before been as satisfied with a "real" mic'd high gain rhythm guitar tone than I am with what I have here. I bought a used set of Celestion V60 speakers and put them in my 2x12 cab and run my 6505 head into it... and man I'm loving what the mic is picking up! The tone doesn't need a lot of processing to have the heavy 7string gtr sit in the mix in comparison to what I'm previously used to.. very happy with the purchase.
I like it. The guitar sounds really good. The thing that came to mind is that the vocal is too dry and upfront and could do with some variation for each section.
Perhaps adding a pronounced delay or echo in the verses and a lush reverb and doubling up in the chorus section would keep the vocal more interesting?
Good songwriting, nice tight structure and the melodic shift in the chorus is very good.

Last edited by Zyzygis; 7th August 2020 at 01:55 AM..
Old 7th August 2020
  #9877
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post
That’s a brilliant track! I loved every second. It was wonderfully arranged, produced and performed!
Is that you singing? I love the voice it has so much positive energy.
One of the best and most original songs I have heard in this thread or anywhere actually.
Well done man!
Thanks! Yeah that's me on vocals.

Quote:
Originally Posted by clump View Post
**** me that's good.....It's infectious and really original, if it was on 'Juke Box Jury' I'd be holding up my 'HIT' placard.

Can't think of any "criticism" at all, although if I was an A&R man and was presented with this track, I would be trying to edit it down to around the 3 minute mark in order to procure an international number 1 hit...which it potentially is.
Thanks for the listen and comments! Definitely could use an alternate length mix.

Thanks for the feedback everyone!
Old 7th August 2020
  #9878
Quote:
Originally Posted by jugetsu85 View Post
Hey guys, here is a rough demo of a new song that I am currently working on. This of course still needs lots of work in all respects... but maybe let me know what you like/don't like about it as it is now? Your notes will help me finish it and extract its potential.. I'll be back working on it in a couple of days from now.

In its current stage this track is the shortest song I've ever written, and I reckon it will probably stay that way even after I've finished it properly. I wonder if that is kind of a trending thing in music right now? :-D

One thing I gotta say is that I don't think I've ever before been as satisfied with a "real" mic'd high gain rhythm guitar tone than I am with what I have here. I bought a used set of Celestion V60 speakers and put them in my 2x12 cab and run my 6505 head into it... and man I'm loving what the mic is picking up! The tone doesn't need a lot of processing to have the heavy 7string gtr sit in the mix in comparison to what I'm previously used to.. very happy with the purchase.
Those guitars do sound good, love that chunk. Good song with potential for sure. If it was me producing I might move that last section to the middle for a bridge, and add backing vox to support your 'whoahhhhh' type vocal licks. Cool track, like the roomy drum sounds too.
Old 8th August 2020
  #9879
Gear Head
 

Really nice

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post


Another mix from the Personal album.
Piano, drums, strings and vocals.
I think I got the balance right but if anyone has any thoughts, criticisms please let me know.
Thanks
Really strong song all around.
When you sing the words "seeking oblivion" at 1:44, It felt like you were still searching for the right notes compared to the rest of the vocal.
Old 9th August 2020
  #9880
Quote:
Originally Posted by ejanuska View Post
Really strong song all around.
When you sing the words "seeking oblivion" at 1:44, It felt like you were still searching for the right notes compared to the rest of the vocal.
Thanks, I’ll check out that part and see if I can improve it.
Old 10th August 2020
  #9881
Gear Head
Bailout

I have a song I'm working on and could use some advice. I'm still in the writing phase, and I feel like it needs a middle break down. I was working on a halftime swing section for 8 measures in the song, but I'm wondering if the song might become to long. There are other things I could do to keep it interesting (adding removing elements etc). This is still a work in progress, some of the parts aren't final (like the main vocals will be redone).

I still have to add steel guitar, fiddle, piano, acoustic guitar, and lead guitars. Plus recording some real drums, or at least programming these drums some more.
Attached Files

Bailout mix.mp3 (2.48 MB, 258 views)

Old 11th August 2020
  #9882
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post


First mix of another track from “The Gospel According To” album.
Influenced by 70’s rock.
I am really happy with this one as far as the songwriting is concerned, I think I captured what I needed to say, what do you think?
I hope you like it.
Pretty great as usual, good lyrics that aren't going to lose anyone, Clear from first listen without a script. Tribute to Robert Johnson at ~ 1:30, a Beatles type bridge at 1:55 always appropriate giving the song some lift, I like the lead guitar at 2:15, got a bit sloppy at 3:00, and I sort of wanted the Crossroads riff at the end.

As usual a master class for me, I learn a lot from your tunes.
Old 11th August 2020
  #9883
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by cjogo View Post
Gettin' this one going ..
Nice, super tasteful lead guitar, good way to tell the same old story starting from a rumor, I kept thinking the Grateful Dead would have loved this song, prob. play it for half an hour. Well done, old school.
Old 11th August 2020
  #9884
Gear Addict
Quote:
Being an atheist I had problems with the source material, but 'Thank You Jesus' for so long it seemed like hours is sure to make even the most die-hard snake handler a bit put off. I liked the music, was that Kalimba at about 30 seconds?, and it was with a nice beat that was both modern and ancient at once, very cool. Fill out that thank you with experience, or your senses, or wonder in nature, not just a simple thank you. They say god is everything, you need to flush him out a bit more and given that subject the sky isn't the limit.
Old 11th August 2020
  #9885
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post


Another mix from the Personal album.
Piano, drums, strings and vocals.
I think I got the balance right but if anyone has any thoughts, criticisms please let me know.
Thanks
I can see why that isn't on the Gospel Album!
it seems to me depressing for the sake of being depressing.
I did like the use of distorted piano though the lot of it.
And the depression is cleverly, virtually stated.
These screens are the window to the worlds greatest library, the most amazing source of misinformation, and there is art in every single pixel.

OK, Maybe this is my happy place, cause over the top of the screen is my wife who just tried to take her blood sugar with her eyeglasses.
Old 11th August 2020
  #9886
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by gharrison0054 View Post
I have a song I'm working on and could use some advice. I'm still in the writing phase, and I feel like it needs a middle break down. I was working on a halftime swing section for 8 measures in the song, but I'm wondering if the song might become to long. There are other things I could do to keep it interesting (adding removing elements etc). This is still a work in progress, some of the parts aren't final (like the main vocals will be redone).

I still have to add steel guitar, fiddle, piano, acoustic guitar, and lead guitars. Plus recording some real drums, or at least programming these drums some more.
It's a lot of work to make our the words, and it shouldn't be.
Old 11th August 2020
  #9887
Gear Head
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
It's a lot of work to make our the words, and it shouldn't be.
Adjusted the vocals, a bit. as this is a scratch track I'm not going to worry to much about the mix. This is also not the final vocal take. I was sitting down at the desk singing this more for reference for the actual singer. This is me singing, I won't be the main singer on this song.
Attached Files

Bailout mix-02.mp3 (2.48 MB, 236 views)

Old 11th August 2020
  #9888
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by gharrison0054 View Post
Adjusted the vocals, a bit. as this is a scratch track I'm not going to worry to much about the mix. This is also not the final vocal take. I was sitting down at the desk singing this more for reference for the actual singer. This is me singing, I won't be the main singer on this song.
Big improvement in lyrical clarity. I think projecting some smile and shrugs into the singing would help cause it won't carry being taken seriously, and I know you didn't write it for that!
Old 11th August 2020
  #9889
Quote:
Originally Posted by gharrison0054 View Post
Adjusted the vocals, a bit. as this is a scratch track I'm not going to worry to much about the mix. This is also not the final vocal take. I was sitting down at the desk singing this more for reference for the actual singer. This is me singing, I won't be the main singer on this song.
Cool tune, I like the rawness. Reminds me strongly of Reverend Horton Heat. Could use a bridge/solo section in the middle and maybe lose a verse for length.
Old 11th August 2020
  #9890
Gear Head
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
Big improvement in lyrical clarity. I think projecting some smile and shrugs into the singing would help cause it won't carry being taken seriously, and I know you didn't write it for that!
lol I'm not the one who's going to be singing this. This is just a scratch track i put together to get the song arrangement worked out. The band will head in to a studio to record this once I get it lined out arrangement wise. I have an actual singer that will be doing the final vocals. Thank you for the listen and kind words. Do you think the arrangement needs a verse dropped and ad in the middle 8 break, or just add in a middle 8 break?
Old 11th August 2020
  #9891
Gear Head
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
Cool tune, I like the rawness. Reminds me strongly of Reverend Horton Heat. Could use a bridge/solo section in the middle and maybe lose a verse for length.
This is kind of what I was thinking. Drop the last verse (although that verse ties up the story). I do think it needs a middle 8 break maybe 1/2 swing beat.

Thanks for taking the time to listen.
Old 11th August 2020
  #9892
Lives for gear
 
cjogo's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
Nice, super tasteful lead guitar, good way to tell the same old story starting from a rumor, I kept thinking the Grateful Dead would have loved this song, prob. play it for half an hour. Well done, old school.
Very old school -- 20 + year old Roland VS machine -- retired age musicians 70 is the new 20 somethings ~~ around here

All coming from the 60's recording methodology --
Old 12th August 2020
  #9893
Gear Addict
 
jugetsu85's Avatar
Hey @ bkbirge and @ Zyzygis and @ wagtunes I just wanted to drop by to say thank you for the taking the time to provide notes on my latest track. Unfortunately I've not yet been able to continue working on finalizing the song. But when I do I will surely go through your notes again and see if I can implement them and get back to you with a revised version. In the meanwhile, take care!
Old 16th August 2020
  #9894
Quote:
Originally Posted by Somasu View Post
Very unique song! I think you have a very solid idea here but I think it needs a bit more dynamic and melodic variance, especially for a 6 minute song.
Old 16th August 2020
  #9895
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post


First mix of another track from “The Gospel According To” album.
Influenced by 70’s rock.
I am really happy with this one as far as the songwriting is concerned, I think I captured what I needed to say, what do you think?
I hope you like it.
Nice writing, man. That bridge really caught me off guard in a good way. I didnt expect it to ramp up like that. The progressions are interesting as well. Nice work
Old 16th August 2020
  #9896
Quote:
Originally Posted by jugetsu85 View Post
Hey guys, here is a rough demo of a new song that I am currently working on. This of course still needs lots of work in all respects... but maybe let me know what you like/don't like about it as it is now? Your notes will help me finish it and extract its potential.. I'll be back working on it in a couple of days from now.

In its current stage this track is the shortest song I've ever written, and I reckon it will probably stay that way even after I've finished it properly. I wonder if that is kind of a trending thing in music right now? :-D

One thing I gotta say is that I don't think I've ever before been as satisfied with a "real" mic'd high gain rhythm guitar tone than I am with what I have here. I bought a used set of Celestion V60 speakers and put them in my 2x12 cab and run my 6505 head into it... and man I'm loving what the mic is picking up! The tone doesn't need a lot of processing to have the heavy 7string gtr sit in the mix in comparison to what I'm previously used to.. very happy with the purchase.
That tune jams, man! And you are correct to be happy with the rhythm guitar tone. That sucker is NASTY
Old 16th August 2020
  #9897
Quote:
Originally Posted by gharrison0054 View Post
I have a song I'm working on and could use some advice. I'm still in the writing phase, and I feel like it needs a middle break down. I was working on a halftime swing section for 8 measures in the song, but I'm wondering if the song might become to long. There are other things I could do to keep it interesting (adding removing elements etc). This is still a work in progress, some of the parts aren't final (like the main vocals will be redone).

I still have to add steel guitar, fiddle, piano, acoustic guitar, and lead guitars. Plus recording some real drums, or at least programming these drums some more.
Fun song, man. I agree that it needs a breakdown of some sort to break up the parts a little bit. Even a little solo over the main progression would work nicely.
Old 16th August 2020
  #9898


Hey all, its been a while since Ive recorded anything, but I had a little moment of inspiration and have a little something in the works. Its possibly the shortest song Ive ever written. I intentionally left out the drums because I felt it gave the tune a more somber tune. Also, vocals are still scratch because of a massive wildfire burning a few miles away from me and the smoke makes singing well impossible.

Id love to hear your thoughts on this one. Hope everyone is doing well!
Old 16th August 2020
  #9899
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlcoholByVolume View Post


Hey all, its been a while since Ive recorded anything, but I had a little moment of inspiration and have a little something in the works. Its possibly the shortest song Ive ever written. I intentionally left out the drums because I felt it gave the tune a more somber tune. Also, vocals are still scratch because of a massive wildfire burning a few miles away from me and the smoke makes singing well impossible.

Id love to hear your thoughts on this one. Hope everyone is doing well!
I hope you are doing ok and that you will be safe and the fire is under control.
Thanks for your kind words about my track, glad that you liked it.

I like this song, it’s simplicity is its strength as it makes me focus on the lyrics.
I have a couple of suggestions:

I think “She left me anyway” would sound better and make it more personal. Using “here” tends to distance you from her leaving somehow.

From the third verse I think a vocal harmony would lift the track and avoid it becoming too repetitive. The repetition is an important part of the track but it could do with some ornamental higher vocal harmonies, perhaps building up in layers until the last verse, sung solo to finish.
Old 16th August 2020
  #9900
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
Pretty great as usual, good lyrics that aren't going to lose anyone, Clear from first listen without a script. Tribute to Robert Johnson at ~ 1:30, a Beatles type bridge at 1:55 always appropriate giving the song some lift, I like the lead guitar at 2:15, got a bit sloppy at 3:00, and I sort of wanted the Crossroads riff at the end.

As usual a master class for me, I learn a lot from your tunes.
Hi Rocky. Good to see you here.
Thanks for the review.
Yes, Robert Johnson was a reference for this one, story wise, along with Robert Wilkins’ Prodigal Son. Well spotted!
You’ve got me think about putting that riff at the end...
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