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Old 11th June 2020
  #9751
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by MyHatGuy View Post
Agree with the other posters, Mr. Kane, I wouldn't say the track is dissonant, but it is definitely very busy in parts. For instance, the aux percussion/handclaps 1:24 and through the section starting at 2:52. That being said, the claps at 1:16/2:46 (and those parts) are awesome and make the transition really smooth.




Dude, this is a gem piece of advice. There have been more than a few times I was scratching my head with pads and slow string parts that were lined up, but simply didn't work. Major light bulb moment for me.
I'll listen to those claps and try to lose the bothersome ones. You may have to tell me if I cut the right ones, so I'd post the new version as a new one so you can compare if you need to.

Thanks
Old 11th June 2020
  #9752
Lives for gear
 
dc_r's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MyHatGuy View Post
Dude, this is a gem piece of advice. There have been more than a few times I was scratching my head with pads and slow string parts that were lined up, but simply didn't work. Major light bulb moment for me.
Rather than aligning stuff in post it is even more fun to play it like this live.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9753
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by dc_r View Post
Here's my constructive criticism- I agree with your friend to an extent, but I do not think there's any dissonance in this track. I think you are trying to cram way too much in, there are too many instruments playing at the same time, and the playing isn't tight so your ear is pulled in many different directions.

One other thing I would say, and again this is an honest constructive criticism as you were asking for feedback- I think this track, and several other tracks you posted in the past sound a little bit dated, like they were meant to be done in a certain style and it doesn't work for me. I think you are trying to use too many "vintage" sounds- the strings, the guitar part etc. which makes this sound cliched.

But I think this song is also not arranged well- I think there are too many parts for what should feel like a dance track. I would simplyfy it, I would try to get the bass part right, then the vocals, and then try to find some sounds of your own. And then maybe start the whole thing again with this instrumentation...

Just my opinion, of course...
like that scene from Amadeus where the Royalty says Mozart's work has too many notes.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9754
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Hi.

Well, all the parts do have swing including the bass, but the bass sound also has a slowish attack (for a bass) as does the pads. Goos idea about pulling the pads back a pinch. I actually layered the pad with the piano so the piano gave the attack and the pads gave the release.

Thanks again
That thing was perfect you about 4 versions ago, before the horn experiment except for the rough spot in the vocals that I pointed out and you acknowledged, too much polish kills the paint, too many chefs spoil the soup, trust yourself you're a freaking genius and no one in here makes disco noise like you my friend!
Old 12th June 2020
  #9755
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by 64gtoboy View Post
Hotel California is an artist's rendition of Hell.
If that was the case why did they avoid discussing the bill?
Old 12th June 2020
  #9756
Lives for gear
 
dc_r's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
like that scene from Amadeus where the Royalty says Mozart's work has too many notes.
You misunderstood my comments. Luckily, the original poster did not.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9757
Lives for gear
 
64gtoboy's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
If that was the case why did they avoid discussing the bill?
Well, I was being facetious, but this points up what I consider an important song writing concept: many, if not most, popular songs are open to interpretation by the listener, thus allowing each to choose their own- "personalizing" the content, and in doing so increasing their connection. It's a large part of capturing a listeners attention along with tangible emotion/commitment to the theme and all the other little things.


Great songs IMO rely on emotion and imagery that is universal precisely because it allows interpretation.


PS: There is no "bill" because "You can never leave."
Old 12th June 2020
  #9758
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by dc_r View Post
Here's my constructive criticism- I agree with your friend to an extent, but I do not think there's any dissonance in this track.
Agree.

Quote:
I think you are trying to cram way too much in, there are too many instruments playing at the same time, and the playing isn't tight so your ear is pulled in many different directions.
Mostly disagree. I get that perhaps a little at certain spots, but not generally.

Quote:
One other thing I would say, and again this is an honest constructive criticism as you were asking for feedback- I think this track, and several other tracks you posted in the past sound a little bit dated, like they were meant to be done in a certain style and it doesn't work for me. I think you are trying to use too many "vintage" sounds- the strings, the guitar part etc. which makes this sound cliched.
Something not sounding "modern" is not in itself a fault at all. In fact that's what I like about it. This assumes the intent is just to make good music of course vs what would sell today. I wouldn't presume to know what sells or frankly care.

The two things that stuck out to me were 1) the main vocal is a bit too loud or prominent relative to the other tracks 2) It sounds just a bit dull, meaning IMO the high end or mid-to-high needs to be brought up a bit. FWIW.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9759
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by drcmusic View Post
Hi there and thanks for posting.
Well it's obvious you are competent enough. I suppose the question is less about the rough mix and more about the song. Of course, I could be wrong but here is my very odd take:
You sing words that end in "er" kind of like the REO Speedwagon singer. From a diction standpoint, it really just grates on me (likely due to the high number of times it happens due to accompanying rhyming words).
? Not hearing that at all. Though tbh while I don't think the singer is bad at all, IMO he's not good enough to go out of your way to placate, but that's me. It's a good song overall for that genre
Old 12th June 2020
  #9760
Deleted f7717eb
Guest
Quote:
Originally Posted by bill5 View Post
? Not hearing that at all. Though tbh while I don't think the singer is bad at all, IMO he's not good enough to go out of your way to placate, but that's me. It's a good song overall for that genre
The singer is ok, agreed. My comment, to which you disagreed (and of course are welcome to do so), was regarding diction.

I'm not looking for your approval of my opinion.
It is simply my take.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9761
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
trust yourself you're a freaking genius and no one in here makes disco noise like you my friend!
So true.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9762
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by bill5 View Post
Agree.

Mostly disagree. I get that perhaps a little at certain spots, but not generally.

Something not sounding "modern" is not in itself a fault at all. In fact that's what I like about it. This assumes the intent is just to make good music of course vs what would sell today. I wouldn't presume to know what sells or frankly care.

The two things that stuck out to me were 1) the main vocal is a bit too loud or prominent relative to the other tracks 2) It sounds just a bit dull, meaning IMO the high end or mid-to-high needs to be brought up a bit. FWIW.
Thanks Bill

This is not finally mixed yet and the vocals are still temp. I tend to add a little air when I do a final mix, so that should brighten it up a notch.

As for it sounding a bit dated. It's kind of intentional but I get that someone's cliche and cheesy is another person's "retro" and cheesy in a good way.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9763
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seattle View Post
So true.
Thanks man
Old 12th June 2020
  #9764
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
That thing was perfect you about 4 versions ago, before the horn experiment except for the rough spot in the vocals that I pointed out and you acknowledged, too much polish kills the paint, too many chefs spoil the soup, trust yourself you're a freaking genius and no one in here makes disco noise like you my friend!
Thank you
Old 12th June 2020
  #9765
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deleted f7717eb View Post
The singer is ok, agreed. My comment, to which you disagreed (and of course are welcome to do so), was regarding diction.
Yes, I thought that was obvious.

Quote:
I'm not looking for your approval of my opinion.
It is simply my take.
So was that.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9766
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
As for it sounding a bit dated. It's kind of intentional but I get that someone's cliche and cheesy is another person's "retro" and cheesy in a good way.
I guess I was just saying that being retro doesn't have anything to do with being or not being cheesy. Someone could do a "modern" tune that sounds cheesy for that kind of tune or genre. Yours would not attract any mice sir.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9767
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Thanks Bill

This is not finally mixed yet and the vocals are still temp. I tend to add a little air when I do a final mix, so that should brighten it up a notch.

As for it sounding a bit dated. It's kind of intentional but I get that someone's cliche and cheesy is another person's "retro" and cheesy in a good way.
For a lot of people, retro is in today.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9768
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by 64gtoboy View Post
Well, I was being facetious, but this points up what I consider an important song writing concept: many, if not most, popular songs are open to interpretation by the listener, thus allowing each to choose their own- "personalizing" the content, and in doing so increasing their connection. It's a large part of capturing a listeners attention along with tangible emotion/commitment to the theme and all the other little things.


Great songs IMO rely on emotion and imagery that is universal precisely because it allows interpretation.


PS: There is no "bill" because "You can never leave."
True some songs do and some don't, and both have the potential to be great, agreed?
And that was my point in bringing up Hotel California as the counterpoint to songs that tell a story.

And I kidding on the square about the bill, though it's usually the most hell part of any stay I've had of late.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9769
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by dc_r View Post
You misunderstood my comments. Luckily, the original poster did not.
Ok I was trying to tell Mr Funk that he should stop listening to so many critics or he will never finish that tune, a tune that seems to be getting worse, not better, as a result of Mr. Funk's fantastic open minded nature, and his willingness to try and incorporate the gist of all comments.

It was nothing personal to you, sorry if you took offense.

Editing to say that Mr Funk's open mindedness is a admirable quality that is so lacking in most of us that are governed by insecurity and defense mechanisms, I'd love to have a few beers with him!
Old 12th June 2020
  #9770
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
Ok I was trying to tell Mr Funk that he should stop listening to so many critics or he will never finish that tune, a tune that seems to be getting worse, not better, as a result of Mr. Funk's fantastic open minded nature, and his willingness to try and incorporate the gist of all comments.

It was nothing personal to you, sorry if you took offense.

Editing to say that Mr Funk's open mindedness is a admirable quality that is so lacking in most of us that are governed by insecurity and defense mechanisms, I'd love to have a few beers with him!
Kane is without a doubt a rare individual. He probably should have been a diplomat or something.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9771
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by wagtunes View Post
Kane is without a doubt a rare individual. He probably should have been a diplomat or something.
I always said I’d have been a good diplomat! Lol
Old 12th June 2020
  #9772
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
Ok I was trying to tell Mr Funk that he should stop listening to so many critics or he will never finish that tune, a tune that seems to be getting worse, not better, as a result of Mr. Funk's fantastic open minded nature, and his willingness to try and incorporate the gist of all comments.

It was nothing personal to you, sorry if you took offense.

Editing to say that Mr Funk's open mindedness is a admirable quality that is so lacking in most of us that are governed by insecurity and defense mechanisms, I'd love to have a few beers with him!
If you live in the UK, maybe we can grab a beer sometime.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9773
Lives for gear
Btw, I don’t feel like the song has gotten worse. A lot less has changed really, I much prefer the chorus of the latest version and I am going to get someone to record guitar for me once I record my vocals for real at 2bpm slower. I’m hoping the guitar following the chords rather than just a loop will tie it all together.
Old 12th June 2020
  #9774
Lives for gear
 
dc_r's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Hi.

Well, all the parts do have swing including the bass, but the bass sound also has a slowish attack (for a bass) as does the pads. Goos idea about pulling the pads back a pinch. I actually layered the pad with the piano so the piano gave the attack and the pads gave the release.

Thanks again
I had another listen just now- I was listening on HD650s (which I always found unforgiving) whereas the previous listen was through Fireface 800, which is new to me.

Anyway, I am pretty sure that this is a revised version and I think it is much better. Now... I think the track is excellent and the performance is great... but I think the vocal needs work... I am not good with eqing vocals but definitely- vocal needs to be thicker and more upfront! Love the track!
Old 12th June 2020
  #9775
Lives for gear
 
dc_r's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Btw, I don’t feel like the song has gotten worse. A lot less has changed really, I much prefer the chorus of the latest version and I am going to get someone to record guitar for me once I record my vocals for real at 2bpm slower. I’m hoping the guitar following the chords rather than just a loop will tie it all together.
Another listen- I am pretty sure you are not using Waves' MV2- an upward and downward compressor. Does miracles to tracks. And then can be applied to mix buss as well. But... there's a newish Waves/Abbey Road mastering plugin (Abbey Road TG Mastering Chain) which I cannot hear here and I think would work so well on your track!
Old 13th June 2020
  #9776


Talking of retro and cheesy...
I wrote this song many years ago but never got around to recording it.
It’s a bit different from my usual stuff but I think it’s a direction that I might enjoy exploring.
It’s rough, lots of bum notes and pretty awful mix but I am interested in wether you think it works as a song and is worth perusing.
Old 13th June 2020
  #9777
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
If you live in the UK, maybe we can grab a beer sometime.
I was there in 1970, so we'll have to time lapse! I was with my associates from the cow college, come to see the big city of London, and the best part was having curry for the first time and seeing 25 west end theater productions in one month, thank you folks for showing me there was more to life than the back end of a Holstein!
Old 13th June 2020
  #9778
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Btw, I don’t feel like the song has gotten worse. A lot less has changed really, I much prefer the chorus of the latest version and I am going to get someone to record guitar for me once I record my vocals for real at 2bpm slower. I’m hoping the guitar following the chords rather than just a loop will tie it all together.
I'll give it another listen.
Old 13th June 2020
  #9779
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by dc_r View Post
Another listen- I am pretty sure you are not using Waves' MV2- an upward and downward compressor. Does miracles to tracks. And then can be applied to mix buss as well. But... there's a newish Waves/Abbey Road mastering plugin (Abbey Road TG Mastering Chain) which I cannot hear here and I think would work so well on your track!
Holy Cow, are you some slumming super pro? I can't even imagine the state of mind that could predict what compressor would work best on a piece just by thinking! How many thousand hours of mixing does it take to be able to do such a thing?

I love my old HD580's they agree with my monitors, both pretty clinical.
Old 13th June 2020
  #9780
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post


Talking of retro and cheesy...
I wrote this song many years ago but never got around to recording it.
It’s a bit different from my usual stuff but I think it’s a direction that I might enjoy exploring.
It’s rough, lots of bum notes and pretty awful mix but I am interested in wether you think it works as a song and is worth perusing.
It works, Van Morrison type of song I think, with a glorious mess of disjointed good ideas.
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