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Post your rough demos
Old 25th May 2020
  #9601


Been working on this for a couple of days now.
Still quite raw but I think it’s caught something about the way I feel about the current situation.
It’s rough and ready so watch out!
I am too close to know if it’s really any good, but I think it’s quite infectious (pun intended).
Interested to know what you think.
Old 25th May 2020
  #9602
Gear Nut
 
Jay Doucet's Avatar
 

Take all feedback with a grain of salt my friend, mine included.. but in my opinion, The composition is really cool on this, and If you swap the horn sounds out for another horn sound, possibly a more dynamic sounding one, might open the tune up more, worth the exploration. To me though, my first listen through monitors, I loved the musical changes of it all. Keep doing what you do!

J



Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Thanks J. I had a very honest and condemning assessment of the horns from my Russian composer friend. With my partner Ho and Z thinking are crap too, I think I am going to lose the horns and I may also lose or replace one of the “analogue” synth parts that I think may be surplus you requirements too. I may put something else in a couple of the places though as I felt they help direct the changes, but may be not. I may PM you a version without the horns etc and see if you still think the changes work.

Here is what my friend said about the horns. Definitely appreciate his candor.

Well......I don't wanna be hmm.....cruel...so, no offence.....I know how much time and effort you've spent with the brass......but.....they sound .....hmmm.....weird (I'm using the polite form). Honestly, the brass moves the song a step down, they don't match and sound like a cheap yamaha psr auto accompaniment. Only one phrase is....lets say....ok, but other licks are .....so sorry....not good. I'm sorry to tell you.?
Old 25th May 2020
  #9603
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post


Been working on this for a couple of days now.
Still quite raw but I think it’s caught something about the way I feel about the current situation.
It’s rough and ready so watch out!
I am too close to know if it’s really any good, but I think it’s quite infectious (pun intended).
Interested to know what you think.
I liked the intro and the acoustic guitars at the beginning, and then not much happened while I listened to it twice, other than watching it tick by. I was trying to listen and even made notes, but the song didn't do anything for me, and it wasn't for lack of polish. I don't know why, but that's what happened.

In retrospect maybe it's the melody of the verse, that leaves me alienated? I remember two 'dada dada dahahahas, followed by a haroo voododo', and that's at the beginning where I usually get yanked in. The lyrics are good too, depressing but that has never stopped me before from appreciation. It could just be my mood, but I feel pretty neutral but exhausted.
Old 25th May 2020
  #9605
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
I liked the intro and the acoustic guitars at the beginning, and then not much happened while I listened to it twice, other than watching it tick by. I was trying to listen and even made notes, but the song didn't do anything for me, and it wasn't for lack of polish. I don't know why, but that's what happened.

In retrospect maybe it's the melody of the verse, that leaves me alienated? I remember two 'dada dada dahahahas, followed by a haroo voododo', and that's at the beginning where I usually get yanked in. The lyrics are good too, depressing but that has never stopped me before from appreciation. It could just be my mood, but I feel pretty neutral but exhausted.
Ok, so you didn’t like the melody.
I wonder if it’s too simple? I was going for something uneasy and minimal to provoke a sense of urgency in the verses almost like an announcement or an alarm.
The chorus is where it is supposed to break out melody wise in contrast.
Perhaps it just doesn’t work, I usually allow more time between writing a song and deciding whether it’s worth pursuing or not.
Old 25th May 2020
  #9606
Here for the gear
 

A song by Sredni Vashtar

I guess this is the right place for this, for it feels like everything we do is a rough demo...

https://soundcloud.com/srednivashtar/received-wisdom

We're a trad guitar-bass-drums three piece, with a big dose of loops and samples. Arrangements tend to evolve over years, and no single recording feels definitive, but we've settled on this version of a song we've been playing for a while now. Feedback welcomed!
Old 25th May 2020
  #9607
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by sredni vashtar View Post
I guess this is the right place for this, for it feels like everything we do is a rough demo...

https://soundcloud.com/srednivashtar/received-wisdom

We're a trad guitar-bass-drums three piece, with a big dose of loops and samples. Arrangements tend to evolve over years, and no single recording feels definitive, but we've settled on this version of a song we've been playing for a while now. Feedback welcomed!
That's great! I love the way you have the soft vocals mixed low and distant, with the guitar/bass upfront yet they are still completely legible and the focus of the track. How the heck did you do that?

Has a Pink Floyd meets Snow Patrol sound to it, which can't be bad! I can't offer any way to improve it. I would usually comment that the drums could punch more, but they work perfectly as they are.

Great job and I look forward to more of your music.
Old 25th May 2020
  #9608
Gear Maniac
 

Almost cried recording this: https://soundcloud.com/somasumusic/heal-afternoon
Old 25th May 2020
  #9609
Here for the gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
That's great! I love the way you have the soft vocals mixed low and distant, with the guitar/bass upfront yet they are still completely legible and the focus of the track. How the heck did you do that?

Has a Pink Floyd meets Snow Patrol sound to it, which can't be bad! I can't offer any way to improve it. I would usually comment that the drums could punch more, but they work perfectly as they are.

Great job and I look forward to more of your music.
I'm going to say that the mix was mostly luck, and also the result of three sets of ears listening and commenting on different set-ups. The final file came out of Garageband (I think) and then went through Landr. Thanks for the kind words!
Old 25th May 2020
  #9610
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post


Been working on this for a couple of days now.
Still quite raw but I think it’s caught something about the way I feel about the current situation.
It’s rough and ready so watch out!
I am too close to know if it’s really any good, but I think it’s quite infectious (pun intended).
Interested to know what you think.
Hi Z

I think it's good.

If you want to alter the verse melody a bit, try dropping down on the 2nd lines (the cards are gonna fall etc).

I would also add a harmony/counter melody in the octave above for the "bridge" sections (The shaking in our bones... and It's burning in our souls lines etc). This will really add energy.
Old 25th May 2020
  #9611
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Somasu View Post
I like the mood of it and I like the vocal treatments but I really struggled to hear the words.
Old 25th May 2020
  #9612
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Hi Z

I think it's good.

If you want to alter the verse melody a bit, try dropping down on the 2nd lines (the cards are gonna fall etc).

I would also add a harmony/counter melody in the octave above for the "bridge" sections (The shaking in our bones... and It's burning in our souls lines etc). This will really add energy.
Thanks Kane.
I think you’re right, the vocal treatment is going to be really important to bring out the best of this one.
First I really need to nail the vocal and get the right amount of attack on the words to emphasise the mood of menace. Probably needs some saturation to put it in place too.
Harmony is going to be important for keeping it lively and especially the upper harmonies like you said.
I think a lower harmony on the second line of the verses could work too.
I need to work on all the parts in detail once the vocals are recorded.
Old 25th May 2020
  #9613
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by theblue1 View Post
I wrote this not all that long before I put myself into a (voluntary) two week self-quarantine -- there are several vulnerable people around me -- after coming down with several symptoms that could have been related to that thing that's goin' around. (Seem to be fine, now.)

Glad to hear you're okay. It's scary out there.

Song reminds me of something from the late 60s, early 70s but I can't place it because the memory isn't want it used to be. But it'll come to me eventually.

Stay safe.
Old 25th May 2020
  #9614
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post
Ok, so you didn’t like the melody.
I wonder if it’s too simple? I was going for something uneasy and minimal to provoke a sense of urgency in the verses almost like an announcement or an alarm.
The chorus is where it is supposed to break out melody wise in contrast.
Perhaps it just doesn’t work, I usually allow more time between writing a song and deciding whether it’s worth pursuing or not.
I just listened again and liked it more, but I still didn't get intimate with it. The simple melody fits the depressing nature of the tune, so it seems like a dirge. Because you're so good, you get judged on a higher scale as I have higher expectations. You make me want to make better tunes!

On the new listen, I think I've found what kept me cold to it.
I really loved the song up to :26 up to the first line is sung. The intro builds high expectations, for a less depressing, more soaring and hopeful, song than the one heading your way. false advertising! When I should be digging in to your tune I have mixed feeling because I really wanted to hear the song that would fit that intro, maybe that's why I detached, maybe not.

Wish I could be more specific, and your song as it is, is still very good, maybe I'm getting burnt out on depression.

That intro is a song about hope, and love, and warmth, and harmony, and the beauty of the guitar. The Travis meme!

Best I can offer, confusing, and the mental process in me is probably just me. But I learned something, at least for me, about the importance of the intro, and has me thinking about the last into I just quickly pulled out of the air without much regard.
Old 25th May 2020
  #9615
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackwingGabriel View Post
Hi all,

This is my attempt to follow up an old idea as now I'm trying to focus more to songwriting/arrangement.

The song is in my native language, based on a poem by wifey/vocals about "ticket for riding a rainbow". The song follows an indie/dreamy/post-rock vibe, with walls of sound and texture.

Self critique:
1. I understand the importance of contrast in mixing, so I tried to provide one in a segment before the chorus (you call it a bridge, right?). I just don't feel exactly sure it's working nicely.
2. The bass is lame, since I'm still learning to program the bass, couldn't found the right sound and just fill it with a virtual Moog.
3. I also struggling to make the drums more connected to the song. Still relying from MIDI presets with simple editing.

Feel free to listen and comment!

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1mr...VeVW9tDTWc0JIc
It's good, I loved that wall of semi distorted noise in the intro and chorus, you stayed remarkably in good taste and didn't go over the top!
Singer has a great non strained voice and I liked the way that contrasted with the rougher sound in the chorus. I think some harmony vocal in the chorus would be really delicious and back off the wall to give that some room. The song is dreamy and fits the rainbow ticket.

I had no trouble accepting the music as it is and just think the vocal is what needs production work. Have you tried a digital doubling of the voice, and it needs to go up a bit in volume and chorus harmony.

I think it's pretty lovely. I love the variety of songs we knock together in here, it's an amazing place.
Old 25th May 2020
  #9616
Gear Addict
Quote:
Nice bit of Americana, I liked it, felt the voice should come up a bit and you might have been better able to sing the story if you were willing to risk a bit more with your voice, cause I feel it's too controlled and safe while the character in the story isn't, of course there might be perfectly good reasons for your hold back.
Old 26th May 2020
  #9617
Quote:
Originally Posted by wagtunes View Post
Glad to hear you're okay. It's scary out there.

Song reminds me of something from the late 60s, early 70s but I can't place it because the memory isn't want it used to be. But it'll come to me eventually.

Stay safe.
Probably sounds like lots of stuff. It's very simple, obviously.

I removed it when I realized I should probably wait to have what others might consider a proper demo before posting here. It's long been my practice to demo early and often, and often quite informally. I guess that's because I've often written while recording or at least while sitting in front of the computer (since that's where I'm going to write down the words). And I'm not fluent and only marginally conversant in standard musical notation, so I tend to document my process to myself or coworkers by recording.

Maybe I'll come back later.

Last edited by theblue1; 26th May 2020 at 06:27 AM..
Old 26th May 2020
  #9618
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
I just listened again and liked it more, but I still didn't get intimate with it. The simple melody fits the depressing nature of the tune, so it seems like a dirge. Because you're so good, you get judged on a higher scale as I have higher expectations. You make me want to make better tunes!

On the new listen, I think I've found what kept me cold to it.
I really loved the song up to :26 up to the first line is sung. The intro builds high expectations, for a less depressing, more soaring and hopeful, song than the one heading your way. false advertising! When I should be digging in to your tune I have mixed feeling because I really wanted to hear the song that would fit that intro, maybe that's why I detached, maybe not.

Wish I could be more specific, and your song as it is, is still very good, maybe I'm getting burnt out on depression.

That intro is a song about hope, and love, and warmth, and harmony, and the beauty of the guitar. The Travis meme!

Best I can offer, confusing, and the mental process in me is probably just me. But I learned something, at least for me, about the importance of the intro, and has me thinking about the last into I just quickly pulled out of the air without much regard.
Interesting. I didn’t feel that way about the intro at all, in fact I felt a sense of something serious about to unfold which is why the song developed that way.
I came up with the guitar riff first and the lyric and melody developed from there.
I am amazed at how different another’s perception can be, perhaps I am not as good a judge of mood as I thought.

Two things have occurred to me from this:
First, I think the vocal lacks authority and is not sung with enough power to lead the listener to a sense of urgency and, secondly, the arrangement needs to direct and underline the feeling of threat more.
This is a song about impending doom and needs to be loud and clear about that.
The middle section is where the compassion comes in, albeit with a sense of being a witness, unable to offer any practical help.
This song is not comforting in any way, it is a warning of approaching disaster, hence the title, and that is going to be disappointing to anyone looking for a song about “love, hope and warmth”.

At one point I had considered fading out with the lyrics of “If I had a hammer” just to soften the mood a little after being so depressing but changed my mind.
This is a depressing song about a depressing time and no doubt about that.
Old 26th May 2020
  #9619
Lives for gear
 
clump's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by theblue1 View Post
Probably sounds like lots of stuff. It's very simple, obviously.

I removed it when I realized I should probably wait to have what others might consider a proper demo before posting here. It's long been my practice to demo early and often, and often quite informally. I guess that's because I've often written while recording or at least while sitting in front of the computer (since that's where I'm going to write down the words). And I'm not fluent and only marginally conversant in standard musical notation, so I tend to document my process to myself or coworkers by recording.

Maybe I'll come back later.
I think you should keep posting them Blue...IMO that's what a 'Rough Demo' should be; organic and full of feel, this thread needs more of this.

Incidentally, I really like the song AND the performance...great title too.
Old 26th May 2020
  #9620
Lives for gear
 
clump's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post


Been working on this for a couple of days now.
Still quite raw but I think it’s caught something about the way I feel about the current situation.
It’s rough and ready so watch out!
I am too close to know if it’s really any good, but I think it’s quite infectious (pun intended).
Interested to know what you think.
Like it Zyz...puts me a little in mind of Coldplay when they were good, think it's some of the vocal phrases, nice though.

Love that acoustic riff, also think the bass line is very hooky, the two combined could develop into a very cool, hypnotic groove.
Old 26th May 2020
  #9621
Quote:
Originally Posted by clump View Post
Like it Zyz...puts me a little in mind of Coldplay when they were good, think it's some of the vocal phrases, nice though.

Love that acoustic riff, also think the bass line is very hooky, the two combined could develop into a very cool, hypnotic groove.
Thanks!
I like Coldplay’s early stuff too.
I am going to work on the bass line next, it has a nice groove but needs some editing to fit better melodically.
Old 27th May 2020
  #9622
Gear Head
 
Hold the Mayo's Avatar
 

Quote:
Beautiful song cjogo, it put me in the chill factory. Nice guitar work throughout.
Old 27th May 2020
  #9623
Quote:
Originally Posted by clump View Post
I think you should keep posting them Blue...IMO that's what a 'Rough Demo' should be; organic and full of feel, this thread needs more of this.

Incidentally, I really like the song AND the performance...great title too.
Well... I read more of the thread to see what all the kerfuffle was about and realize that most folks seem to feel this thread should be for critiquing and suggestions on production as well as the song. There's nothing in my simple performance of the song to critique from that point of view. I suspect from the comments that most of these folks would prefer something like a Nashville rough demo, with a crew of studio pros working up a conventional, contemporary arrangement to flesh out the song.

By the time I've got my typical original fleshed out, I'm usually feeling like I'm done. And when I'm done, like most folks, I just want to sit back and bask in praise -- not field suggestions on what I should have done with the reverb or how I should have boosted 4k on my kick.

But, I get it, that is what many other folks do want -- and it's also clear that that is the sort of critique that many here are most comfortable making. Wrong recording, wrong thread.
Old 27th May 2020
  #9624
Lives for gear
 
cjogo's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hold the Mayo View Post
Beautiful song cjogo, it put me in the chill factory. Nice guitar work throughout.

Lots of mando tracks -- and 4 guitars --- thanks for listening ..
Old 27th May 2020
  #9625
Lives for gear
 
clump's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by theblue1 View Post
Well... I read more of the thread to see what all the kerfuffle was about and realize that most folks seem to feel this thread should be for critiquing and suggestions on production as well as the song. There's nothing in my simple performance of the song to critique from that point of view. I suspect from the comments that most of these folks would prefer something like a Nashville rough demo, with a crew of studio pros working up a conventional, contemporary arrangement to flesh out the song.

By the time I've got my typical original fleshed out, I'm usually feeling like I'm done. And when I'm done, like most folks, I just want to sit back and bask in praise -- not field suggestions on what I should have done with the reverb or how I should have boosted 4k on my kick.

But, I get it, that is what many other folks do want -- and it's also clear that that is the sort of critique that many here are most comfortable making. Wrong recording, wrong thread.
I really don't think it matters Blue, as you know, this thread has existed for quite some time with people putting up demos of varying levels of quality, from very rough right through to pretty much finished. If specific feedback was sought then it was given, if not then folk would appraise as they saw fit.

The recent 'kick off' was the result of somebody randomly suggesting that everybody was using the thread incorrectly, this ruffled some feathers and a classic *****slutz war' ensued.

Perhaps it's the price we all pay for being passionate creatives? I know I didn't get where I am today by not being a drama queen.
Old 28th May 2020
  #9626
Quote:
Originally Posted by clump View Post
I really don't think it matters Blue, as you know, this thread has existed for quite some time with people putting up demos of varying levels of quality, from very rough right through to pretty much finished. If specific feedback was sought then it was given, if not then folk would appraise as they saw fit.

The recent 'kick off' was the result of somebody randomly suggesting that everybody was using the thread incorrectly, this ruffled some feathers and a classic *****slutz war' ensued.

Perhaps it's the price we all pay for being passionate creatives? I know I didn't get where I am today by not being a drama queen.
LOL!
Old 29th May 2020
  #9627


First mix of a song/ tone poem which I wrote yesterday.
The vocal needs work and there is automation and arrangement details to finish but I think it’s interesting.
Let me know what you think.
Old 29th May 2020
  #9628
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post


First mix of a song/ tone poem which I wrote yesterday.
The vocal needs work and there is automation and arrangement details to finish but I think it’s interesting.
Let me know what you think.
Nice work. No hook but it's not that kind of song and your voice really carries it. The synth/sampled pizz strings sound a bit artificial to me as do some of the other elements but your acoustic and voice sit right in there at home. I'd like to hear a version maybe with less stacked orchestra, replaced with single live performers I think would fit the song better. Hard to do in these quarantine times I suppose. I particularly like the abrupt ending as it fits the subject matter.
Old 29th May 2020
  #9629
Gear Head
 
BlackwingGabriel's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
Can't get to the link for me, or at least the play part of it isn't working for me. Gave up after trying a few different things. Might be my security settings.
Sorry to hear bkbirge. If you'd like another look, I've attached the MP3 below.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
It's good, I loved that wall of semi distorted noise in the intro and chorus, you stayed remarkably in good taste and didn't go over the top!
Singer has a great non strained voice and I liked the way that contrasted with the rougher sound in the chorus. I think some harmony vocal in the chorus would be really delicious and back off the wall to give that some room. The song is dreamy and fits the rainbow ticket.

I had no trouble accepting the music as it is and just think the vocal is what needs production work. Have you tried a digital doubling of the voice, and it needs to go up a bit in volume and chorus harmony.

I think it's pretty lovely. I love the variety of songs we knock together in here, it's an amazing place.
Thanks for listening Rolavine! Noted on the vocal part. I'm planning to add more guitar melody, and layering more vocals this weekend.
Attached Files

GubMit01-CekRecv1.mp3 (6.95 MB, 138 views)

Old 29th May 2020
  #9630
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
Nice work. No hook but it's not that kind of song and your voice really carries it. The synth/sampled pizz strings sound a bit artificial to me as do some of the other elements but your acoustic and voice sit right in there at home. I'd like to hear a version maybe with less stacked orchestra, replaced with single live performers I think would fit the song better. Hard to do in these quarantine times I suppose. I particularly like the abrupt ending as it fits the subject matter.
Thanks for your feedback. Glad you liked it.
It was done on my iPad and suffers from the limitations of the GarageBand instruments, which aren’t bad by any means, but I would love to hear live musicians on my tracks.
When I record it properly I will use better samples and separate the instruments out for mixing.
I am not really happy with the vocal yet, I usually re-record it once all the elements are mixed and I have lived with the song for some time.
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