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Old 21st May 2020
  #9541
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
I know he will just try to destroy the thread again
I'd say he has not only tried to get it shut down, he is still trying.

Quote:
Eventually, if they continue their posts and I report enough of them, they'll probably succeed in closing this place down.
I just hope Whitecat sees what's really happening here and Wags fails. How selfish of him.

So much hate. In a songwriting forum. So hard to believe, but it's really happening.
Old 21st May 2020
  #9542
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Yesterday I learned about parallel compression.
Thanks to your post, today I looked around and learned a little about it myself.

Quote:
OK, if I haven't driven you away yet.
No way, Rocky. I like you and I like your music.
Old 21st May 2020
  #9543
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by wagtunes View Post
Thank you for the kind words Rocky. As long as you're around here, I will be here to interact with you (listen to your songs, give feedback, etc.)

I'm done letting these people get under my skin. I will just keep reporting their troll posts and ignore them. Eventually, if they continue their posts and I report enough of them, they'll probably succeed in closing this place down. But it won't be because of me being nasty with anybody. I'm done doing that. They just aren't worth my time.

I appreciate our friendship and will always be here if you need my help.

Will be looking forward to those files.
I appreciate our friendship too!

Please stop reporting people, buddy, and it's over such trivial crap too. Buddha is reported to have said:

“The one who has conquered himself is a far greater hero than he who has defeated a thousand times a thousand men.”

“You are what you think. All that you are arises from your thoughts. With your thoughts you make your world.”

“Many do not realize that we here must die. For those who realize this, quarrels end.”

Of course I'm the worst Buddhist ever, matching my performance on all religions, other than unrepentant materialism. But at my age that last one rings a bell.

Editing to add this very important quote:

“In the village, a sage should go about
Like a bee, which, not harming
Flower, color or scent,
Flies off with the nectar.”

Buddha tells us how to behave, and profit, in general.

Last edited by Rolavine; 21st May 2020 at 04:55 AM.. Reason: one more quote
Old 21st May 2020
  #9544
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post
Sorry Rocky but there’s just too much for me to wade through here.
I would be better with a link and a few specific questions.
Don’t worry about Wags‘ ‘rules’, I am all for totally ignoring his attempts to manage the thread in any way as he has proved himself incapable of even managing himself.
If you are happy to have him help you then please take it to PMs as I know he will just try to destroy the thread again.
OK, i know I asked a lot of questions, just asking them helped me to list what I next need to know, and I have the net and ten thousand links and some may actually connect to reality.
Old 21st May 2020
  #9545
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by clump View Post
I put a 'quirky' version of this up on the 'Noodles and doodles' thread.

This is the original acoustic 'heartfelt' version...I remember, when I finished it, thinking it was probably the best song ever written...strange how ones perception alters with time!

It sort of makes me cringe a bit now.
Nice, dark, lots of space, haunting, nice tasteful guitar work, interesting lyrics, "oh my love", so simple yet sets up an image, neutral descriptive but involved vocal.

I think it has all it needs. I learned something from the haunt of it.
Old 21st May 2020
  #9546
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
“In the village, a sage should go about
Like a bee, which, not harming
Flower, color or scent,
Flies off with the Nectar.”
Besides being a good songwriter, musician and vocalist, you are a good man, Rocky.
Old 21st May 2020
  #9547
Lives for gear
 
clump's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
Nice, dark, lots of space, haunting, nice tasteful guitar work, interesting lyrics, "oh my love", so simple yet sets up an image, neutral descriptive but involved vocal.

I think it has all it needs. I learned something from the haunt of it.
Thanks for that Rocky, means a lot.
Old 21st May 2020
  #9548
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by clump View Post
Thanks for that Rocky, means a lot.
Nah, thank you for the tune. I learn so much from listening to the tunes in here, I learn from listening to any tune period, but here I get a feel for how we are doing so much with so little because we are self reliant MacGyver's of music making.
Old 21st May 2020
  #9549
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Seattle View Post
Besides being a good songwriter, musician and vocalist, you are a good man, Rocky.
All I did was find a quote, you think I can live up to that, lol.
I think you're the good man, it's in your songs, we are all good people in here, and it's in all our songs.

Will Rogers on Leon Trotsy in Saturday Evening Post of November 6, 1926. "I bet you if I had met him and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like."

I hope to be like Will Rogers when, and if, I ever grow up.
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9551
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
8 Years A:
I'll give those a listen.
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9552
Lives for gear
Sorry I have not been on here much. I will get to listen and comment on others music I promise.

Here is a track I just made. The harmonies in the 2nd bridge are not right, but as the vocals are all temporary scratch vocals, I'm not too concerned about that.

I would like to know your thought on the song and arrangement. Although the mix is just a quick mix, I am happy to receive any tips on anything that could work well when I mix it.

I think the instrumental section at the end is screaming out for a guitar solo (or may be a sax, but guitar would be better for me I think). What do you guys think? Also, I may add another 4 bars at the top, which would be a similar 4 bars from the end instrumental section. This way, the vocals don't come in straight away with the beat, there would be more of a build. I will try this and repost later today or tomorrow.

Cheers for any feedback.

PS. There is vocal tuning evident on this track, but I tend to just use this when composing so I know I'm not playing stuff out of key etc. The final vocals will not have tuning, but the backing vox will have hard tuning as an effect like now.

https://soundcloud.com/kanewilliams-.../s-7BxkIgbcdQ5
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9553
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Sorry I have not been on here much. I will get to listen and comment on others music I promise.

Here is a track I just made. The harmonies in the 2nd bridge are not right, but as the vocals are all temporary scratch vocals, I'm not too concerned about that.

I would like to know your thought on the song and arrangement. Although the mix is just a quick mix, I am happy to receive any tips on anything that could work well when I mix it.

I think the instrumental section at the end is screaming out for a guitar solo (or may be a sax, but guitar would be better for me I think). What do you guys think? Also, I may add another 4 bars at the top, which would be a similar 4 bars from the end instrumental section. This way, the vocals don't come in straight away with the beat, there would be more of a build. I will try this and repost later today or tomorrow.

Cheers for any feedback.

PS. There is vocal tuning evident on this track, but I tend to just use this when composing so I know I'm not playing stuff out of key etc. The final vocals will not have tuning, but the backing vox will have hard tuning as an effect like now.

https://soundcloud.com/kanewilliams-.../s-7BxkIgbcdQ5
I'm just going to comment on the song and nothing else.

Good intro. Just the right length but catchy.

Verse - Nice groove. Melody flows nicely.

Pre Chorus - Nice lead in

Chorus - As with most of your songs, sounds too much like the verse. No clear demarcation between the two. I could only tell it was the chorus because the pre chorus was very obvious that it was setting up the chorus. Having said that, the chorus isn't bad or anything. It's just missing a strong hook so that people can remember it.

Breakdown - Nice instrumental section. Put in just the right place.

Structure of the song in general is fine. The end is a little abrupt but that can always be fixed in the arrangement.

On a scale of 1 to 10 I give it an 8

** DISCLAIMER ** All the above is just my totally worthless opinion so please take it with a minuscule grain of salt.
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9554
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Sorry I have not been on here much. I will get to listen and comment on others music I promise.

Here is a track I just made. The harmonies in the 2nd bridge are not right, but as the vocals are all temporary scratch vocals, I'm not too concerned about that.

I would like to know your thought on the song and arrangement. Although the mix is just a quick mix, I am happy to receive any tips on anything that could work well when I mix it.

I think the instrumental section at the end is screaming out for a guitar solo (or may be a sax, but guitar would be better for me I think). What do you guys think? Also, I may add another 4 bars at the top, which would be a similar 4 bars from the end instrumental section. This way, the vocals don't come in straight away with the beat, there would be more of a build. I will try this and repost later today or tomorrow.

Cheers for any feedback.

PS. There is vocal tuning evident on this track, but I tend to just use this when composing so I know I'm not playing stuff out of key etc. The final vocals will not have tuning, but the backing vox will have hard tuning as an effect like now.

https://soundcloud.com/kanewilliams-.../s-7BxkIgbcdQ5
Nice, Micheal Jackson sort of thing.
I felt it lacked variety and ran on too much on sameness. The only break in it was from 2:25 to 2:30 and that collapsed when you went to chorus, other than the weird skip at ~1:50 (trivial just being specific to my comment).
You don't post lyrics so I can't comment much on them but my feeling was the story was a bit unfocused, you start with a very nice verse all about how we are doomed, but then go into sorting truth from lies, that opens yet another door, when you've only just introduced doom, it's like your doubting the doom in the first line, questioning how we can know anything, before you go to chorus that supports the truth of your first verse and has nothing to do with the delusion and uncertainty of the 2nd verse.

I liked the harmonies, and you have a great voices and I dig the subtle blend, it was pretty typical of your usual, and that's fine cause it's good.

The chorus part has good lyrics, but other than the nice tempo and vocal inflection changes going in to it (you're really good at that) seems way too much like the verse. The Chorus needs a musical spotlight on it. Stepping out on a limb, I feel the chorus needs to go up tempo, be more exciting and worried frantic (your on the run right?), with some breaks in there like running, stumbling, let the listeners go on that run with you in their own minds. So it needs to become warmer, more intimate, visceral, and let them put their hand in your hand, as you hide on the ground. Also, what does it look like, sound like, feel like, on that ground, are the cities in flame, are their airplanes, if the ground shaking, how can you make the listeners hearts be there with you?

Again, I know nothing and my dog is even sick of my songs. But what you have here has potential.

Last edited by Rolavine; 22nd May 2020 at 07:55 PM.. Reason: clearing up complex abstractions
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9555
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Sorry I have not been on here much. I will get to listen and comment on others music I promise.

Here is a track I just made. The harmonies in the 2nd bridge are not right, but as the vocals are all temporary scratch vocals, I'm not too concerned about that.

I would like to know your thought on the song and arrangement. Although the mix is just a quick mix, I am happy to receive any tips on anything that could work well when I mix it.

I think the instrumental section at the end is screaming out for a guitar solo (or may be a sax, but guitar would be better for me I think). What do you guys think? Also, I may add another 4 bars at the top, which would be a similar 4 bars from the end instrumental section. This way, the vocals don't come in straight away with the beat, there would be more of a build. I will try this and repost later today or tomorrow.

Cheers for any feedback.

PS. There is vocal tuning evident on this track, but I tend to just use this when composing so I know I'm not playing stuff out of key etc. The final vocals will not have tuning, but the backing vox will have hard tuning as an effect like now.

https://soundcloud.com/kanewilliams-.../s-7BxkIgbcdQ5
I would try it a couple of bpm slower.
The lyrics, what I could hear, sound rushed and trying to fit into the tempo rather than the other way round.
Slowing it down will also give you the space to make more of the melody and dynamic which would alleviate the sameness across the whole track.
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9556
Lives for gear
Thanks for that guys. I will see what I can do about making the chorus a bit more different. I was actually pretty pleased with the lyrics but I'll have another look.
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9557
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post
I would try it a couple of bpm slower.
The lyrics, what I could hear, sound rushed and trying to fit into the tempo rather than the other way round.
Slowing it down will also give you the space to make more of the melody and dynamic which would alleviate the sameness across the whole track.
Thanks Z. I didn't feel rushed in the verses, but maybe a touch in the chorus but I can try it 2bpm slower. I thought the melody was pretty good, even if not immensely varied, I actually thought there were quite clear developments to it. But you think I need to change it more drastically?

Thanks mate
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9558
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Thanks for that guys. I will see what I can do about making the chorus a bit more different. I was actually pretty pleased with the lyrics but I'll have another look.
I don’t think the lyrics need changing,
Just that the tempo is not right for them.
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9559
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Thanks Z. I didn't feel rushed in the verses, but maybe a touch in the chorus but I can try it 2bpm slower. I thought the melody was pretty good, even if not immensely varied, I actually thought there were quite clear developments to it. But you think I need to change it more drastically?

Thanks mate
If you sing it slower you will naturally feel if it needs any melodic changes.
It might be enough just to let it breathe a bit more.
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9560
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post
If you sing it slower you will naturally feel if it needs any melodic changes.
It might be enough just to let it breathe a bit more.
I actually had the tempo at 125 bpm at the very start and bumped it up to 127 bpm. I'll take it back down again and see. Thanks
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9561
Lives for gear
Just so you all know. The lyrics are all about people having different ideas of what is going on in the world and arguing about who is right or who is wrong or censoring opinions will not get us anywhere in the search for the truth. Labels such as "sheeple" or "conspiracy theorists" just divide us even more and force us to dig our heels in more and close our ears and eyes to other people's opinions and close our mouths in voicing our own opinions in fear of ridicule. Most people seem to think the world is heading downhill in one way or another though and that is the "doom" aspect of the lyrics. I think the verses are quite consistent, but maybe they weren't as coherent as I'd hoped. Here they are:

They say the wind is coming
and no-one's escaping the storm.
They say say the Martians are aiming their
ray guns at Earth and we don't have much time now.
Some say we've living ways
that have to be punished by god.
I think we've got to refrain from
pointing our fingers and screaming blasphemer.

Searching for truth in a landfill of lies!
How do we fact check the fact checking spies?
How do we trust what's in front of our eyes?
How do we live our lives?

How are we gonna draw a line
if that becomes a crime?


Chorus
See no evil, close your eyes.
Hear no evil, speak no spite.
Just toe the line you'll be alright.
See the signs, the end is nigh!
Head for the backroads, drive all night
get underground and cut the lights.
Take my hand and hold on tight
Look for the signs, the end is nigh!


Some hear the locusts flying
and no-ones surviving the swarm.
They know an asteroid's coming
and it's getting closer but everyone's blind now.
Some say that we're at war
and we've already chosen sides.
I think we've got to stop fighting
and take off our colours and drop all the labels.

Looking for answers by shouting out fools!
Naming and shaming for questioning rules.
Enquiring minds are enquiring for you.
Resolved minds won't find the truth.

How are we gonna ride the storm
without holding each other on?


Chorus

Protecting our minds by burning those books.
Closing down pages to save us from crooks.
Why can't they trust us to just take a look?
When will say enough?

How are we gonna use our minds
if the truth has been defined?
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9562
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Just so you all know. The lyrics are all about people having different ideas of what is going on in the world and arguing about who is right...
Timely. I like it. The tempo is fine by me, although a couple of bpm slower would be cool, but my ears want to hear some funky horns in this song, then let the sax take it home like you were talking about.

Good to see you back.
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9563
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Just so you all know. The lyrics are all about people having different ideas of what is going on in the world and arguing about who is right or who is wrong or censoring opinions will not get us anywhere in the search for the truth. Labels such as "sheeple" or "conspiracy theorists" just divide us even more and force us to dig our heels in more and close our ears and eyes to other people's opinions and close our mouths in voicing our own opinions in fear of ridicule. Most people seem to think the world is heading downhill in one way or another though and that is the "doom" aspect of the lyrics. I think the verses are quite consistent, but maybe they weren't as coherent as I'd hoped. Here they are:

They say the wind is coming
and no-one's escaping the storm.
They say say the Martians are aiming their
ray guns at Earth and we don't have much time now.
Some say we've living ways
that have to be punished by god.
I think we've got to refrain from
pointing our fingers and screaming blasphemer.

Searching for truth in a landfill of lies!
How do we fact check the fact checking spies?
How do we trust what's in front of our eyes?
How do we live our lives?

How are we gonna draw a line
if that becomes a crime?


Chorus
See no evil, close your eyes.
Hear no evil, speak no spite.
Just toe the line you'll be alright.
See the signs, the end is nigh!
Head for the backroads, drive all night
get underground and cut the lights.
Take my hand and hold on tight
Look for the signs, the end is nigh!


Some hear the locusts flying
and no-ones surviving the swarm.
They know an asteroid's coming
and it's getting closer but everyone's blind now.
Some say that we're at war
and we've already chosen sides.
I think we've got to stop fighting
and take off our colours and drop all the labels.

Looking for answers by shouting out fools!
Naming and shaming for questioning rules.
Enquiring minds are enquiring for you.
Resolved minds won't find the truth.

How are we gonna ride the storm
without holding each other on?


Chorus

Protecting our minds by burning those books.
Closing down pages to save us from crooks.
Why can't they trust us to just take a look?
When will say enough?

How are we gonna use our minds
if the truth has been defined?
I hope that you didn’t think that I thought the lyrics were bad, because they are really good. I meant that I couldn’t get them all because of the speed of the vocal.
Sorry for any misunderstanding.
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9564
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zyzygis View Post
I hope that you didn’t think that I thought the lyrics were bad, because they are really good. I meant that I couldn’t get them all because of the speed of the vocal.
Sorry for any misunderstanding.
Oh, no, didn’t think that. It was in answer to Rolavine’s comment about the two verses conflicting and making it a bit confusing. I wasn’t mad at his comments or being defensive, I just thought I’d post the lyrics and a brief synopsis to see if that made the lyrics more coherent?

Everyone’s comments have been beneficial and I will see if I can take it up another notch. I doubt I will make vast changes but small nudges in the directions you have all given will hopefully polish it a bit.
Old 22nd May 2020
  #9565


Working on a new set of songs.
This one is inspired by current events, like Kane’s, but darker.
It’s very fresh and I don’t sing it very well yet but the mood is there.
Lyrics may change and the arrangement will probably develop as well.
Old 23rd May 2020
  #9566
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Funk View Post
Just so you all know. The lyrics are all about people having different ideas of what is going on in the world and arguing about who is right or who is wrong or censoring opinions will not get us anywhere in the search for the truth. Labels such as "sheeple" or "conspiracy theorists" just divide us even more and force us to dig our heels in more and close our ears and eyes to other people's opinions and close our mouths in voicing our own opinions in fear of ridicule. Most people seem to think the world is heading downhill in one way or another though and that is the "doom" aspect of the lyrics. I think the verses are quite consistent, but maybe they weren't as coherent as I'd hoped. Here they are:

They say the wind is coming
and no-one's escaping the storm.
They say say the Martians are aiming their
ray guns at Earth and we don't have much time now.
Some say we've living ways
that have to be punished by god.
I think we've got to refrain from
pointing our fingers and screaming blasphemer.

Searching for truth in a landfill of lies!
How do we fact check the fact checking spies?
How do we trust what's in front of our eyes?
How do we live our lives?

How are we gonna draw a line
if that becomes a crime?


Chorus
See no evil, close your eyes.
Hear no evil, speak no spite.
Just toe the line you'll be alright.
See the signs, the end is nigh!
Head for the backroads, drive all night
get underground and cut the lights.
Take my hand and hold on tight
Look for the signs, the end is nigh!


Some hear the locusts flying
and no-ones surviving the swarm.
They know an asteroid's coming
and it's getting closer but everyone's blind now.
Some say that we're at war
and we've already chosen sides.
I think we've got to stop fighting
and take off our colours and drop all the labels.

Looking for answers by shouting out fools!
Naming and shaming for questioning rules.
Enquiring minds are enquiring for you.
Resolved minds won't find the truth.

How are we gonna ride the storm
without holding each other on?


Chorus

Protecting our minds by burning those books.
Closing down pages to save us from crooks.
Why can't they trust us to just take a look?
When will say enough?

How are we gonna use our minds
if the truth has been defined?
Having the lyrics helps, just hearing it I thought the chorus was about a bug out cause the fan has hit the s**t, but it's about escaping the general BS, so that accounts for my yapped misdirection on the 2nd verse (if that is really a verse?). One thing stand out, the phrase "holding each other on", since this isn't a rhyme, why not the decipherable, 'hold on to each other'. So, that's all I got, except this is a whole mess of words for a < 4 minute song, you better go up to 175 bpm, just kidding.

I'm digesting the Berkley Schools book on Lyrics and forms and I may never be able to right another song again, like when I took some golf lessons and have been unable to break 115 ever since (on a real par 72-76 course). My swing look less like a hinged hippo then it used to, though.
Old 23rd May 2020
  #9567
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
Having the lyrics helps, just hearing it I thought the chorus was about a bug out cause the fan has hit the s**t, but it's about escaping the general BS, so that accounts for my yapped misdirection on the 2nd verse (if that is really a verse?). One thing stand out, the phrase "holding each other on", since this isn't a rhyme, why not the decipherable, 'hold on to each other'. So, that's all I got, except this is a whole mess of words for a < 4 minute song, you better go up to 175 bpm, just kidding.

I'm digesting the Berkley Schools book on Lyrics and forms and I may never be able to right another song again, like when I took some golf lessons and have been unable to break 115 ever since (on a real par 72-76 course). My swing look less like a hinged hippo then it used to, though.
Mishearing lyrics can be a great way to access the subconscious.
For years I heard the Whitney Houston hit as “Climb every woman”, an image at once comic, sci-fi and heroic.
I was disappointed when I found out what she was really singing.
Old 23rd May 2020
  #9568
Hey all, been awhile but here's a song I've been working on because a friend casually asked if I listened to country music. It's more alt-country than country but looking for constructive criticism and ideas of where to take it...
Old 23rd May 2020
  #9569
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
Hey all, been awhile but here's a song I've been working on because a friend casually asked if I listened to country music. It's more alt-country than country but looking for constructive criticism and ideas of where to take it...
Intro - It sounds like you have 3 different intros before the song actually starts. They're kind of disjointed and don't really work for me. Pick one, keep it short and then go into the song.

Main Song - The constant starting and stopping is jarring and breaks up the flow of the song. The structure also seems to be all over the place making it very difficult to follow. If there is a chorus, I'm having trouble determining where it is because in between the starts and stops, everything seems to run together.

In general, the song is just not smooth. There is no flow to it. Maybe work on trying to smooth it out some.

Needs work. Just my opinion of course so take it with a tiny grain of salt.
Old 23rd May 2020
  #9570
Lives for gear
 
64gtoboy's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by bkbirge View Post
Hey all, been awhile but here's a song I've been working on because a friend casually asked if I listened to country music. It's more alt-country than country but looking for constructive criticism and ideas of where to take it...
IMHO this is way too quirky to be Country, Alt or otherwise. "Inspired by" maybe, but to my ears this is a Flaming Lips type of song and could do well in that setting. I think you kinda missed country by a bit this time.
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