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Old 7th December 2019
  #8071
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stixstudios's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
I laughed through this one and gave you a like on it.
I'm not a progressive rock guy but I've been listening to a radio show that does that right before the one I do because I like the DJ so much (great guy), and I can see your instrumentation is right in that vein. The humor is good, you seem to like to play characters in your music, and that's cool, I should do at least one song where I can do that, dress up fun, Tom Waits for a day.
I felt it was long, and long for no reason. I know nothing but this could make a fun 3:30 second song, and have people laughing during it. You really don't need the pube joke, and at least not twice, and too many yeahs, and Shona's.
Disclaimer, I know nothing about what people want to hear, I can listen to the long dead Clifford Brown do Night in Tunisa for 11 minutes and put it on again.
All the songs I posted are ONE-OFF's". Never to be repeated, not multi-tracked for further fixes. 4 guys in a small room, "blasting" it out. For good, or bad, just blasting it out!

Can I listen to your song? Can you post a link?
Old 8th December 2019
  #8072
Gear Maniac
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
I only listened to it once. It's long and the first verse didn't mean much to me, the 2nd and 3rd did though, maybe chop out the first? I like jazz and you set a nice vibe but the instrumental, that is beautiful, seemed to drag. The chorus has a falling (maybe down a whole step) minor for the 2nd chord (If I got the gist) that seemed to let all the air out, maybe go up a full step and than another full step, maybe minor to major to resolve. That's prob. crap but I'd have to spend a lot of time to help and I'm stuck in my own song that has gone pretty flat when I listen to it.
Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I’ll try to make it less dragging - perhaps push the drums to be a bit more ahead of the beat.

1st verse is gonna stay. People don’t need to understand it. If they do it’s fine. If they’re left puzzled that’s also fine :-)

I’m afraid I’m not trained enough in music theory. I know the name of the chords (sort of), but I will need some translation for what you suggested.

For the verse it’s basically a Bm with the bass going B, A, G, F#.
The chorus/b-piece goes
G, Gm, D, F#/F#7. Rinse and repeat. What did you suggest instead here? Like in actual chord names ;-)

Thanks in advance.
Old 9th December 2019
  #8073
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by stixstudios View Post
All the songs I posted are ONE-OFF's". Never to be repeated, not multi-tracked for further fixes. 4 guys in a small room, "blasting" it out. For good, or bad, just blasting it out!

Can I listen to your song? Can you post a link?
I had the link to my soundcloud in my signature but that only seems to go on a new thread.

Soundcloud.com\Rocky-Lavine\
The Christmas song I put up for review is called Daville Waitress, though I've followed most of Wagtunes advice and have a new mix that is far better, thanks again wags. I'm learning to hear the difference now and getting over just being ln love with the sound of my own voice (the equally damaging stage right after you get over how weird it sounds) But it is a fix of mix only. I've only been really recording for the last few months since I retired.

I have some other songs up there too, but as I learn to mix better they all need some updating, proof I'm learning something from myriad sources and endless tweaking repeats.
Old 9th December 2019
  #8074
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninecows View Post
Thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it. I’ll try to make it less dragging - perhaps push the drums to be a bit more ahead of the beat.

1st verse is gonna stay. People don’t need to understand it. If they do it’s fine. If they’re left puzzled that’s also fine :-)

I’m afraid I’m not trained enough in music theory. I know the name of the chords (sort of), but I will need some translation for what you suggested.

For the verse it’s basically a Bm with the bass going B, A, G, F#.
The chorus/b-piece goes
G, Gm, D, F#/F#7. Rinse and repeat. What did you suggest instead here? Like in actual chord names ;-)

Thanks in advance.
I felt the Gm in the chorus sucked the energy out.
Your main verse has a descending bass line, fine John Lennon loved it!
But the chorus also descends at the start when you use the G to Gm (the third note of the chord goes down), and I think that felt that fall off while listening. Looking at the chords you provide, try a chorus of
G Bb D F# F#7, the Bb is the relative major of Gm, and has a rising feel even though it has the same notes in it as Gm.
A lot of great songs don't fit into conventional music theory, your taste and your ear are the arbiters. Try that one chord change without changing anything else and let me know if that feels better to you.
Old 10th December 2019
  #8075
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by wagtunes View Post
The key to getting vocals to sit properly in a mix is to EQ out the parts of the instruments underneath the vocals that overlap with the vocal frequencies. There are tools that do this and make the process fairly easy. I use Neutron which has a masking function. I'd be lost without it. You can actually see the frequencies of the two parts so that you can EQ accordingly.

That one thing will make a world of difference in your mixes.

There is a lot I could teach you but I'd be typing for 3 weeks. There's just so much to learn. Took me forever.
Ok I got the trial of Neutron and ran them on the tune producing the much less raw
https://soundcloud.com/rocky-lavine/...waitress-in-da

I did a raw mix on the 10 version to contrast, also up there. This version sounds good on a good stereo but bad on most.

Thanks, that works good I'm thinking of buying it.
Old 12th December 2019
  #8076
Old 12th December 2019
  #8077
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by stixstudios View Post
Interesting lyrics. I'm still trying to figure out what a Velvet Love Duster is. Like the vocals with the bit of injected humor.

All in all, not bad. Needs some mix love in places but nothing major.
Old 12th December 2019
  #8078
Lives for gear
 
clump's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by wagtunes View Post
Interesting lyrics. I'm still trying to figure out what a Velvet Love Duster is.
My guess is that it's used for polishing a love pump.
Old 12th December 2019
  #8079
Lives for gear
 
stixstudios's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by wagtunes View Post
Interesting lyrics. I'm still trying to figure out what a Velvet Love Duster is. Like the vocals with the bit of injected humor.

All in all, not bad. Needs some mix love in places but nothing major.
This song and mix was done 15yrs ago or so. I don't have the original tracks to do a re-mix. It is as it is.

Quote:
Originally Posted by clump View Post
My guess is that it's used for polishing a love pump.
Brilliant!!!!

"Velvet Love Duster" is a euphemism for part of the female anatomy. Work it out for yourselves - I'm not gonna say.

[EDIT] btw. I wasn't the one who came up with the lyrics. I just recorded and mixed it. Although, I did program the drums and played the keys.

Last edited by stixstudios; 12th December 2019 at 05:42 PM.. Reason: Disclamer.
Old 14th December 2019
  #8080
Gear Nut
 
IGotWorms's Avatar
 


Last edited by IGotWorms; 25th December 2019 at 01:38 AM.. Reason: Going to record a better take!
Old 14th December 2019
  #8081
Gear Nut
 
The Noodlist's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by IGotWorms View Post
I tried to write something more festive and it still wound up dark fiction. Let me know if anything annoyed you, or if you hear any awkward vocal lines.
You remind me of Townes Van Zandt, hope you don't delete your posts.
Old 14th December 2019
  #8082
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Somebody over at KVR reworked one of my songs.

Here's the original



Here's the reworked version, keeping only my vocals.



All comments are welcome.
Old 14th December 2019
  #8083
Here for the gear
 

Hey guys! i have a track that i'd like your input/critique on. it's a sort of shoegazey track with inspiration from beach fossils as well. most of the instrumentation is midi besides from the snare (i recorded a drum kit but only liked the snare sound so i kept that sound before i re-record the whole kit). let me know what y'all think

https://soundcloud.com/user-463006743/cut-arms
Old 14th December 2019
  #8084
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by franklinmarsan View Post
Hey guys! i have a track that i'd like your input/critique on. it's a sort of shoegazey track with inspiration from beach fossils as well. most of the instrumentation is midi besides from the snare (i recorded a drum kit but only liked the snare sound so i kept that sound before i re-record the whole kit). let me know what y'all think

https://soundcloud.com/user-463006743/cut-arms
Drums are a bit buried. Could use a little EQ and compression love there. Maybe even just turn the volume up a bit during the loud parts. Vocals also could use some EQ. Musically, not what I think of when I think shoegazing. Actually closer to a sub genre of industrial.

Overall, the mix needs lots of work.
Old 14th December 2019
  #8085
Gear Addict
 
jugetsu85's Avatar
Rev 3

So while I've gone through updating my studio PC (went from an i7-4790k to an i9-9900KS @ 5 GHz ) I've also been thinking about how to improve my latest song. I noted that especially the clean background gtr got some negative feedback. I came up with something different with it. I would very much appreciate your notes on this alternative idea for the verses. Please note that there is development happening between the 1st verse and the 2nd.
Attached Files

WYC DEMO 141219.mp3 (8.77 MB, 171 views)

Old 14th December 2019
  #8086
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by jugetsu85 View Post
So while I've gone through updating my studio PC (went from an i7-4790k to an i9-9900KS @ 5 GHz ) I've also been thinking about how to improve my latest song. I noted that especially the clean background gtr got some negative feedback. I came up with something different with it. I would very much appreciate your notes on this alternative idea for the verses. Please note that there is development happening between the 1st verse and the 2nd.
Take these comments from where they're coming from because I'm not overly picky about things unless there is something really out of wack.

Sounds fine to me. Mix is clean. I can hear the vocals perfectly. Everything has its space. It's well performed. In short, it's fine. I've discovered that you can drive yourself crazy over a track trying to perfect it and you'll always find something to nit pick on. There is no such thing as perfect. One guy at another forum just finished a song he was working on for 2 /1/2 years. My gut tells me it was probably finished 2 1/3 years ago.

If my stuff sounded this clean and well done I'd be looking for an agent.

Like I said, take it from where it's coming from. I'm not a perfectionist.

Life is too short.
Old 14th December 2019
  #8087
Lives for gear
 
Owen L T's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by wagtunes View Post
Somebody over at KVR reworked one of my songs.

Here's the original



Here's the reworked version, keeping only my vocals.



All comments are welcome.
The reworked version is really good. Though it's a different instrumentation, the combination of the piano intro with the first couple lines (and timbre) of the vocals did immediately make me think of "Life in a Northern Town":

Old 14th December 2019
  #8088
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Owen L T View Post
The reworked version is really good. Though it's a different instrumentation, the combination of the piano intro with the first couple lines (and timbre) of the vocals did immediately make me think of "Life in a Northern Town":

Yeah, me too. I think he did a great job.

Maybe I should just stick to writing and let other people do my songs.
Old 14th December 2019
  #8089
Gear Nut
 
The Noodlist's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by wagtunes View Post
Yeah, me too. I think he did a great job.

Maybe I should just stick to writing and let other people do my songs.
Norman Gimbel?
Did you re-track the vocals, they sound totally different?
I thought they were done by the other person.
Old 14th December 2019
  #8090
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Noodlist View Post
Norman Gimbel?
Did you re-track the vocals, they sound totally different?
I thought they were done by the other person.
No, he just took the vocals I did and EQ'd them differently and took off a lot of the FX I had on them. They're cleaner.
Old 15th December 2019
  #8091
Gear Addict
 
TheLateNight's Avatar
 

I literally cried when writing this. I've become such a different person. Thanks for all who listen, hope you find a little of you in there
Old 15th December 2019
  #8092
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by franklinmarsan View Post
Hey guys! i have a track that i'd like your input/critique on. it's a sort of shoegazey track with inspiration from beach fossils as well. most of the instrumentation is midi besides from the snare (i recorded a drum kit but only liked the snare sound so i kept that sound before i re-record the whole kit). let me know what y'all think

https://soundcloud.com/user-463006743/cut-arms
I'm too old for whatever that is, so far from the intended audience the fact it totally alienates me is meaningless.
My rebellion is done, I'm not angry, I like Beethoven, Chopin, Coletrane, and Edgar Meyers.
Old 15th December 2019
  #8093
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by jugetsu85 View Post
So while I've gone through updating my studio PC (went from an i7-4790k to an i9-9900KS @ 5 GHz ) I've also been thinking about how to improve my latest song. I noted that especially the clean background gtr got some negative feedback. I came up with something different with it. I would very much appreciate your notes on this alternative idea for the verses. Please note that there is development happening between the 1st verse and the 2nd.
I'm ancient and like natural sounding things, I liked this better last time because it was less distorted. It now sounds to me like way too many other songs I think of as noise.
The first verse seems so concerned with tears it takes away from the chorus that I felt was always the best part of the song.
Maybe explore the background of why this person's tears are so powerful, is it their past, or some impairment, or an inability to love, or autism, or terminal shyness, or do they have sexual desires that alienate other (may fit the mood the best, lol). If you posted the lyrics it might help, somewhere in there are verses that won't step on the chorus, preserve that chorus it's your battleship!
Old 15th December 2019
  #8094
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheLateNight View Post
I literally cried when writing this. I've become such a different person. Thanks for all who listen, hope you find a little of you in there
I loved it, it keeps moving, the rain, it would be great in a soundtrack or find some words to it. Steve Reich like, ambient music. How did you make it? What did you use? How did you avoid overdoing? What was your inspiration? Yeah I ask a lot of questions!

I get the sense of a journey, I thought of ODIN traveling to the well of all knowledge, and there happily plucking out his right eye as payment to take a drink from it (I think that's the actual myth not my fantasy, lol).
Old 17th December 2019
  #8095
Gear Nut
 
IGotWorms's Avatar
 

A new reverb to hind behind!

Last edited by IGotWorms; 23rd December 2019 at 08:30 PM..
Old 17th December 2019
  #8096
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
1st track from my upcoming CD "2020"

A friend of mine over at KVR, who is a producer and is trying to make me a better producer, pointed out all the flaws in this track. After doing that, they are glaringly obvious. The lights are starting to come on. I think you'll find an improvement with my next track. See if you can spot all the problems.

Lyrics:

A Whole New Start

Out with the old
In with the new
Turning the page
Thinking of you

Comfort was there
When I needed it most
But now it is time
To move to the coast

A whole new start
In this life of mine
The life I had
I guess it was fine
But now I want
So much more
It's time to find
What living's really for

Funny how things
Never seem like they are
Funny how dreams
Seem to be so far

Watching my life
Just drift away
Now where I am
There's no reason to stay

Repeat Chorus

I'll become the man that I was meant to be
I'll become the man I want the world to see

Repeat Verses 1 and 2

Repeat Chorus

Old 17th December 2019
  #8097
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by wagtunes View Post
1st track from my upcoming CD "2020"

A friend of mine over at KVR, who is a producer and is trying to make me a better producer, pointed out all the flaws in this track. After doing that, they are glaringly obvious. The lights are starting to come on. I think you'll find an improvement with my next track. See if you can spot all the problems.

Lyrics:

A Whole New Start

Out with the old
In with the new
Turning the page
Thinking of you

Comfort was there
When I needed it most
But now it is time
To move to the coast

A whole new start
In this life of mine
The life I had
I guess it was fine
But now I want
So much more
It's time to find
What living's really for

Funny how things
Never seem like they are
Funny how dreams
Seem to be so far

Watching my life
Just drift away
Now where I am
There's no reason to stay

Repeat Chorus

I'll become the man that I was meant to be
I'll become the man I want the world to see

Repeat Verses 1 and 2

Repeat Chorus

Cool, a game to find the flaws with a professional list at the end.
Thanks for the opportunity.
It's too long, you don't need the repeat.
The chorus is ok through the first half but loses steam beginning on the line
I guess it was fine where some cordal complexity derails. After that the chorus just sputters.
I think you need a more rising feel and progression on the end of it.

The best line is "There's no reason to stay" but it can't shine delivered in such similarity to the rest. The words work as a song better than as a poem.
Thanks for the game.

Last edited by Rolavine; 17th December 2019 at 07:10 PM.. Reason: Added line.
Old 17th December 2019
  #8098
Lives for gear
 
wagtunes's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
Cool, a game to find the flaws with a professional list at the end.
Thanks for the opportunity.
It's too long, you don't need the repeat.
The chorus is ok through the first half but loses steam beginning on the line
I guess it was fine where some cordal complexity derails. After that the chorus just sputters.
I think you need a more rising feel and progression on the end of it.

The best line is "There's no reason to stay" but it can't shine delivered in such similarity to the rest. The words work as a song better than as a poem.
Thanks for the game.
Thanks for playing. LOL. Actually, it's more complex than that. But that's what happens when a professional producer gets a hold of your track.

I'll get there. One of these days.
Old 18th December 2019
  #8099
Gear Addict
Quote:
Originally Posted by IGotWorms View Post
I'm going to back off the mic today. I'm capturing too much mouth detail.
So what are you looking for in terms of comments?
I couldn't hear all the words in the voodoo song, so I didn't get the story if there was one. The guitar work made me think how good Norman Blakes plays stuff like this. If you don't know him listen. Norman, when he plays this stuff, sheds treble and is fluid as can be, you have too much treble and not enough fluid.

If you can maybe try recording the guitar part and then the vocal part as doing them both at once (you did that right) throws off your timing and I can hear the uncertainty in you when that happens (yeah me too that's why I can hear it). Doing them separately has a lot of advantages for the studio, but also it forces your vocals to stay with the beat, rather than a dance of tempo.
And the mile from home song is sort of John Prine ish. I don't know if you are using your natural voice or if it's affectation, if the latter, you might try putting more of you in there because that drawlllllll does get tiring. yeah, Dylan pulled it off but heck he's a god and didn't always go full hick and a half.

There is some good stuff there, let it develop.
I hope this helps, we are all on the same journey to capture fire in a bottle.
And I'm learning too from doing this.
Old 18th December 2019
  #8100
Gear Nut
 
IGotWorms's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rolavine View Post
There is some good stuff there, let it develop.
I hope this helps, we are all on the same journey to capture fire in a bottle.
And I'm learning too from doing this.

I cant get the mood or energy right when I split vocals and guitar. Hopefully the timing tightens up soon! The accent is a side effect of trying to sing high notes and fighting melody. I'm definitely trying to focus on making the vocals less jumpy. Your comments are very helpful, thank you!
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