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working with a willing muse. amazing and insane.
Old 23rd September 2020
  #1
Lives for gear
working with a willing muse. amazing and insane.

so last December I met this extremely beautiful inside and out woman at a party. she is poet among other things. when she sat down I heard thunder my life changed. we really hit it off,. she had a boyfriend they broke up she contacted me. we start hanging out reading each others stuff. a very deep connection happened, so we started talking about the creative process. and van Gough Dali, Picasso,warhol etc and the whole muse thing. so we decide to do it.

we never had sex before we started this and still haven't, this has been one of the most insane experiences of my life. im also taking neutropics and other things to increase brain activity. and some of the best medical pot in the world. no hard drugs or prescription anti depressants. we have been pretty clinical about it.

it's in states of temptation, rejection, tenderness and love. I go manic but when I write or play music the release I get is up there with any drug.. im playing guitar better than I ever had in my entire life. ****s t. when she comes over and we read what were working on. i feel sick and ashamed and then later im high as a kite. ill stay up 24hrs a couple times a week. it so cathartic and she says she's never been this open with anyone as well.

im using her like a drug, there are some side effects. some idealizations all good, but I can't keep this up.(I don't wanna cut off my ear lol) and I got enough material for a album in the last month. and the crazy part is the music isn't about her. I do a lot of writing about her in other forms poetry short stories, sexual fantasy. so im trying to ease out of this. anyone ever done some **** like this. it's amazing and terrifying. it's not healthy and we don't know what's gonna happen. quite the mind **** but creative nirvana.

Last edited by boomer81; 23rd September 2020 at 11:57 AM..
Old 24th September 2020
  #2
Gear Head
 

You're very lucky.
Make it last.
Don't have sex. The sexual tension is what is driving the train. Don't derail it.
Start recording, even if its into a handheld device. Record everything and back it up regularly.


When its over its gonna hurt like hell.
Old 24th September 2020 | Show parent
  #3
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by ejanuska View Post
You're very lucky.
Make it last.
Don't have sex. The sexual tension is what is driving the train. Don't derail it.
Start recording, even if its into a handheld device. Record everything and back it up regularly.


When its over its gonna hurt like hell.
Yeah it already does hurt. But I’ve also prayed to god for her to go lol. that’s probably part why it’s working there was always a end in sight.

She’s in the military she was due for a transfer covid held up. She could get the word she’s moving at anytime. never mind the bullocks was discussed as to how we wanted this relationship to go. One and done.

I’ve been recording everything.
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