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Are these lyrics any good?
Old 4 weeks ago
  #1
Here for the gear
 

Are these lyrics any good?

Help me to find way out of this hole.
Help me to find way out of this hole.
Help me to find way out of this hole.

Oh, help me to find way out of this hole.
It's been this way for many years.
And it's growing old.
Downcity wind is blowing cold.
Got many people talking but they sure don't know.
What falls from their lips is this slime of their toes.
Got a heart-stopping feeling that noone's wearing clothes.
And crunch time begins.
When its time to shed some skin.
To find out if you're holding.
Or is your facade caving in.

All hail, all hail, oh my, oh my.
I'll dance with the world until I die.
All hail, all hail, oh my, oh my.
I'll dance with the world until I die.
All hail, all hail, oh my oh my.
I'll dance with the world until I die.
Until I die.

Fairy tales watch out.
Better barricade your doors.
Because nothing's coming up main Street but wolves and *****s.
They have fangs dripping blood.
And pride gleaning from their cheeks.
As they howl in the nightlife.
And grip with the their teeth.
On some unexpected fool with a pop-top-flip-head.
Who will take what is fed to him.
And do what is said.
And never comes to thinking.
Until, after the deed be done.
And finds himself sitting there alone on his thumb.
Yes, ain't got a clue.
For the vamps got him well.
They adorned him with a blindfold and a donkey tail.
Now, I wonder if he'll pin this right.
Yes, right between the eyes.
When it's you and them devils there ain't no compromise.

All hail, all hail, oh my, oh my.
I'll dance with the world until I die.
All hail, all hail, oh my, oh my.
I'll dance with the world until I die.
All hail, all hail, oh my, oh my.
I'll dance with the world until I die.
Until I die.

Noone here will cut you slack.
noone here names names.
We all know just what you want.
And we all know your games.
But power isn't worth two bits when you have a rhyme.
Flowing through the crevices and filling up the time.
When pen touches paper and a thought stream is spurred.
and many a word a few absurd come tumbling afterwards.
And latch out to a phrase that carries an uncandid sigh.
When all that's left to die for is dead on the vine.
I won't say I warned you.
Or I told you so.
Because none of this bickering gets me out of this hole.
You see silence is a conqueror.
And a wise man a fool.
And everything that I learned I daydream in school.
I did not hear a gun go off.
so you won't see me running laps.
This is not the human race.
This is the human dance.

All hail, all hail, oh my, oh my.
I'll dance with the world until I die.
All hail, all hail, oh my, oh my.
I'll dance with the world until I die.
All hail, all hail, oh my oh my.
I'll dance with the world until I die.
Until I die.

I wrote this back in 95 when I was 19. Even though it came to me, I have always felt that it belongs to someone else. As it's really not my style at all. Anyway, I hear it as a funcky hip-hop. Primarily, bass, drums, and flute. It also might be missing something. Like a bridge. Maybe just a simple refrain. Don't know. Anyway, please, be brutally honest if you must. Thank you.
Old 4 weeks ago
  #2
Lives for gear
It depends on the context of the music.

One I did:



(1997)
Old 4 weeks ago
  #3
Here for the gear
 

Well done, but I'm not sure I understand you. For example. All along the watchtower has amazing lyrics. While the music of the original version is nothing to write home. The lyrics more than make up for this deficiency making it a great song. However, Jimi Hendrix added a musicality which coupled with the lyrics made it virtually a masterpiece. Anyway, I guess certain types of music are lyric driven and others are music driven. Not to sight the chicken or the egg argument. But in my belief. Great lyrics facilitates Great Music, more so than the reverse. Think about it. Once an amazing song is written in its original version. Think about how easy it is to come up with limitless versions of
said song which tend to be awesome as well. I don't know. Food for thought. Anyway, I am impressed with your music did you do that all on your lonesome or are you in a band? Indeed, considerable quality indeed.
Old 4 weeks ago
  #4
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by RicochetCorduroy View Post
Well done, but I'm not sure I understand you. For example. All along the watchtower has amazing lyrics. While the music of the original version is nothing to write home. The lyrics more than make up for this deficiency making it a great song. However, Jimi Hendrix added a musicality which coupled with the lyrics made it virtually a masterpiece. Anyway, I guess certain types of music are lyric driven and others are music driven. Not to sight the chicken or the egg argument. But in my belief. Great lyrics facilitates Great Music, more so than the reverse. Think about it. Once an amazing song is written in its original version. Think about how easy it is to come up with limitless versions of
said song which tend to be awesome as well. I don't know. Food for thought. Anyway, I am impressed with your music did you do that all on your lonesome or are you in a band? Indeed, considerable quality indeed.
Well, I wrote those lyrics to that song when I was working for Carvin,...

They said God controls everything you do. I disagree with that.
Old 4 weeks ago
  #5
Here for the gear
 

To be honest, I had a little trouble understanding all you lyrics. Considering my interest here is lyrics could you post them? You know I do this funny thing I'm sure most musicians do when they're writing songs is to do this mumble half word half nonsense stuff when formulating the lyrics. In fact a number of my finished songs are written in "toungs." Nonetheless, I feel that such songs definitely convey a mood, a tone, or genuine picturesque of something that is universally relatable. Very interesting I feel.
Old 4 weeks ago
  #6
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by RicochetCorduroy View Post
To be honest, I had a little trouble understanding all you lyrics. Considering my interest here is lyrics could you post them? You know I do this funny thing I'm sure most musicians do when they're writing songs is to do this mumble half word half nonsense stuff when formulating the lyrics. In fact a number of my finished songs are written in "toungs." Nonetheless, I feel that such songs definitely convey a mood, a tone, or genuine picturesque of something that is universally relatable. Very interesting I feel.
Oh, Mood and tone..another:


A girl I was dating wrote these when I was 19.... She was a Mormon, so we never had sex...
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