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He Is...the Most Interesting Gear Slut! Condenser Microphones
Old 18th January 2014
  #1
Lives for gear
He Is...the Most Interesting Gear Slut!

He doesn't always compress on the way in, but if he does he chains a Fairchild, an 1176 and an LA2A.

His room mics are the U67s from the Beatles sessions.

When he produces an album he graciously grants the band a few points and mentions them in the liner notes.

He can tune a piano in 5 minutes with plyers and a pocket watch.

His ears go to 384 kHz!

He can hear the noise floor of a single carbon comp resistor.

Knock yourselves out!
Old 18th January 2014
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by drbob1 View Post
He can hear the noise floor of a single carbon comp resistor.
You got me at Nyquist noise. The fact that we can hear those lil f'ers zooming around is
Old 19th January 2014
  #3
Lives for gear
He doesn't need to worry about phase...He only needs 1 mic.
Old 19th January 2014
  #4
Gear addict
 
rockrev's Avatar
 

CLA mixes his drinks ...
Old 19th January 2014
  #5
Lives for gear
His daddy's name is Zeus...
Old 19th January 2014
  #6
Lives for gear
 
monkeyxx's Avatar
Chuck Norris, audio engineer
Old 19th January 2014
  #7
He or she manufactures their own tubes by hand on Sunday morning and can re-bias telepathically.

Link: Hand built tubes (video)
Thanks for the prompt monkeyxx.
Old 19th January 2014
  #8
Lives for gear
 
monkeyxx's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur Stone View Post
He or she manufactures their own tubes by hand
have you seen those videos on youtube? truly amazing...
Old 19th January 2014
  #9
Lives for gear
 
old ghost's Avatar
 

He never has to compress in the mix at all... The peaks get in line by themselves out of respect.
Old 19th January 2014
  #10
Lives for gear
 

Sounds like the Lovechild of Geoff Emerick and SuperWoman . . .
Old 19th January 2014
  #11
Lives for gear
 
doorknocker's Avatar
Though uncredited, in '69 he co-wrote 'Here comes the sun' with George Harrison after not seeing any daylight for more than one year due to his heavy work schedule.
Old 19th January 2014
  #12
Lives for gear
 
JAZJETSON's Avatar
 

And Jaz Jetson is his name
Old 19th January 2014
  #13
He or she would never blow their own trumpet.
Old 19th January 2014
  #14
Gear Guru
 
FFTT's Avatar
 

He's In The Who's Who Of Whoville
Old 19th January 2014
  #15
Lives for gear
 
old ghost's Avatar
 

He mixed the entire Hotel California record in one day on headphones in a room AT Hotel California and then left without checking out.
Old 19th January 2014
  #16
Lives for gear
 
cavern's Avatar
 

He doesn't always drink beer when he mixes gold records but when he does he prefers Dos Equis.
Old 19th January 2014
  #17
Lives for gear
 
Jazz Noise's Avatar
His skin flares with a rash if he hears Behringer in the signal chain.
Old 19th January 2014
  #18
2 up Quarks 1 down Quark
 
quadrafunk's Avatar
 

word clocks sync to him.
Old 19th January 2014
  #19
Gear Guru
 
Brent Hahn's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by quadrafunk View Post
word clocks sync to him.
Exactly in the MIMITW style. Awesome. That's one.
Old 19th January 2014
  #20
Gear Guru
 
FFTT's Avatar
 

When he walks into the control room, all the lights flicker with enthusiastic anticipation of the day ahead.
Old 19th January 2014
  #21
2 up Quarks 1 down Quark
 
quadrafunk's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
Exactly in the MIMITW style. Awesome. That's one.
Thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockrev View Post
CLA mixes his drinks ...
This one is spot on.
Old 19th January 2014
  #22
Gear Addict
 
Capashitor's Avatar
He can hear the oxygen and skin effect in an iPod power cord
Old 19th January 2014
  #23
Old 19th January 2014
  #24
Lives for gear
 
string6theory's Avatar
Perhaps confirming that a picture is worth a thousand words... his every thousand posts are worth just one picture. And that picture is...



...which is coincidentally the worth of his thousand-word posts.

A classic GS circle jerk!
Old 19th January 2014
  #25
Quote:
Originally Posted by string6theory View Post
Instead of confirming that a picture is worth a thousand words... his every thousand posts are worth just one picture. And that picture is...



...which is worth a thousand word post.

A classic GS circle jerk!



Old 19th January 2014
  #26
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by FFTT View Post
He's In The Who's Who Of Whoville
Haha, nice!
Old 19th January 2014
  #27
Gear Addict
He prefers to mix songs with a razor blade directly to the tape.

He doesn't always use modeling plugins... but when he does they're indistinguishable from their analog counterparts.

His body has a NRC of 1 across the entire spectrum.

He can sum to mono in his mind.

His voice message machine is a vinyl lathe.

He doesn't always post on Gearslutz... but when he does the thread ends.
Old 20th January 2014
  #28
Lives for gear
 

He can make you a new cable faster than you can say "Hey, anyone got a spare mic lead?"

He mixes on an Soundtracs console he bought for $100 on ebay but because he modded it himself it sounds better than a SSL.

He 100% always matches the preamp to the right audio file in those match-the-sample blind tests. And if there is a Neve involved he can even tell you the serial number.

He can fix old Studer tape machines MacGyver style with only 2 burnt matches, a rusty razor blade and six cable ties. No matter what is wrong it.

He only posts in the High End forum.

He ain't married.
Old 20th January 2014
  #29
Gear addict
 

Tubes and transformers get their mojo from him...

When he walks into a room, the acoustics automatically treat themselves...
Old 20th January 2014
  #30
Lives for gear
 
Heartfelt's Avatar
He records a whole band perfectly with one mic, in one take, on one track, on tape.
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