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Gearsluts 7011 AD
Old 1st June 2011
  #1
Gearsluts 7011 AD

Zathia, Meriaca - 4th of Mayi, 7011

As all of our readers will know, recent archaeological discoveries along the east cost of Meriaca have shocked the world with the knowledge that a civilization much more advanced than our own once existed, and from which we clearly have descended. Though little is known at this point, the implications are staggering. We of this time who believe ourselves the pinnacle of existence much now face the somewhat depressing realization that we are but the aftermath of the fall of a far greater civilization.

This older world seems to have succumbed during the world wide incursion of ice from the polar regions which we believe occurred in the period from 2600 to 3000, and the scouring effects of this world wide indunation, plus the subsequent thousands of years of natural decay, destroyed and buried all traces of their structures long before our own civilization became advanced enough to maintain any records. Thus any true knowledge of this older civilization was lost, though we now suspect in retrospect that the popular religions and myths of our time may carry forward some hints. These mythologies are now being re-evaluated in this light, along of course with intense linguistic studies to see how much if any our language is truely a derivative of this earlier one.

In the first quarter of this solar cycle a team lead by Imin Hond discovered an invaluable cache of documents which, though still almost completely incomprehensible to us, are being studied and some theories have been presented. The documents appear to be the output of an organization named Geersluz, or something to that effect. Exactly why this organization felt compelled to commit to writing the copious amount of material that we have found we cannot tell, we can only be grateful that they did.

Following are some of the highights of our discussion with Imin Hond, conducted by our own Ashim following a recent symposium on these discoveries for the general public:

Ashim: Though we know that you are just beginning to understand these documents, can you give us an overview of what you believe it may mean?

Hond: We believe that Geersluz was a religious organization. Though we cannot read much of it, it appears to have been fractious with many tedious religious arguments, most of which never seem to come to a conclusion. We believe that perhaps these are records of meetings of a governing council of this religion, or perhaps they are documentation of a meeting of many members of the organization with the purpose of standardizing dogma in some way. It is very difficult to be sure.


Ashim: Can you speak to any of the primary figures of this religion?

Hond: Yes, it is very exciting that we have made some progress in this area. There clearly appears to have been a God, possibly the supreme God, whose name is something along the lines of Preahmp. In some way this God Preahmp was the source of all sound, and sound is a very important part of this religion. In a way similar to our own dominant religion's worship of light, these people seemed to worship sound. Some believe that this is perhaps more reflective of the refined sensibilities of an advanced culture. Perhaps they are right.

Preahmp in some way was the ultimate source of the most sacred Sounds, and there are many discussions and arguments as to which of his many manifestations should be the one considered supreme. There are many references to the relative 'costs' of these manifestations, which we have not been able to fully understand yet. Perhaps it is a measure of suffering or effort involved to achieve an exalted state of sound, we are not sure. But clearly, though there appears to be dissention on this point, it would seem that the 'cost' attribute of the particular manifestation of Preahmp had a profound impact on the sacredness of the Sound produced.


Ashim: It is interesting that many Gods in this system have what appear to be numbers in their names?

Hond: Yes, this is something we are fairly confident of. We can clearly reconize a system of digits in these documents, based on a ten digit system. And many Gods do have them in their names. We are not sure if this is some sort of symbolic system, perhaps some sort of means of rating their importance. We assume that, being a highly advanced society that they were more likely to use such a rationalized means of assigning some measure to the various Gods.

However, we have not found any particular pattern to them. For instance, the Gods SM7 and U47 are both very important in the documents we have uncovered. In some cases, one would appear to be far more important and in others the opposite. It may be that there were various factions in this religion and that each sometimes dominated the discussions that these documents transcribe.

And, though Preahmp clearly appears to be the source, or at least the mediator, of the sacred Sound, there are clearly other Gods through whom this substance flowed on its way to the worshipper. Some more important than others. The Gods Neveh and Api appear to have been very important. And the 'cost' attribute of these Gods appeares to have been very high. This is supported by the fact that very few members of this religion claim to have ever been in their actual presence and those who have speak of such events in very reverent terms. They also seem to have become proselytes of these Gods after such experiences, presumably an after effect of experiencing the extremely beautiful manifestations of the sacred Sound these Gods produced.

In some cases, the number of 'cannels' these Gods had is a major point of worship or contention. We aren't sure what cannels are, but having more of them appears to have increased these Gods' capacity for magnifying the sacred Sound in powerful ways. The fact that these cannels almost always come in groups of eight seems to have some mystic numerological connotation, the basis of which is unknown at this time.


Ashim: Can you tell us what the 'Tube' is?

Hond: We are not sure yet what exactly the Tube is. Clearly it is of vast importance. We feel that perhaps it is some sort of relic, considered to have great power. In some way the sacred Sound could be made to flow through this Tube, under the guidance of priests, and it seems as best we can tell to have purified the sound in some way. People who have experienced the sacred Sound through the medium of the Tube always speak of a 'harmounic' effect, which we believe to be some sort of state of elevated awareness.

This is one of the greatest mysteries we need to explore.


Ashim: As with any religion there is a destroyer it would seem, a fallen God turned to evil

Hond: Yes, it would appear that this is so. There was a God, sometimes called Compresus we think, though also sometimes referred to as Limitator though perhaps that might be another God. These Gods initially seem to have served the very beneficial function of supressing excess in the society. We certainly have seen how fluctations in our own society can grow out of control, and these Gods seem to have in some way, we assume through social pressures, served to limit these excursions, symbolically of course by limiting the range of the sacred Sound where necessary.

But, some time in the years leading up to the end of the second thousand years of time these Gods seem to have broken from the faith and become rogue elements. The reasons are unclear. They applied their powers more and more for their own reasons, or more to the point their priests used the power that belief in these Gods gave them to further and further restrict the sacred Sound. It is described as becoming harsher and lacking in the natural ebb and flow that would be considered healthy. The effects are described as debilitating for the worshipper.

We don't know if these Gods were supposed to have been ultimately responsible for the fall of their cilivization or if they were finally defeated, and harmony restored. But clearly a great scism had appeared in the faith and many were seduced by the power of these Gods and worked to their ends. Many also decried it but seemed to have no real weapons to fight this change.

We have some potential indications that these Gods were seduced by a demi-God called Gagah, who seems in some way to have lured them from their duties by wearing a suit made from meat, as odd as that sounds.


Ashim: What were the sacred places of this religion like?

Hond: Well, we have no pictures, only descriptions, but as you would expect of such a religion, these places were designed for the worship of sound. Apparently groups of people of special training would sit together in a walled off room and in some way channel the sacred Sound of the Gods so that others could hear it. The God Preahmp is always mentioned as being a core part of mediating this process, but we are not sure how. Representations of the other Gods were always present and and they in some way modified the Sound so as to make it more relevant or powerful to the worshippers. Of course the Tube was often a part of this ritual.

There seems to have been a priestly heirarchy, starting with what we would think of young acolytes today, which they refer to as "Neubehs". We are not sure of the significance if any. At the top of the hierarchy seem to have been a group of particularly powerful priests called Producors. The similarity to our own word meaning 'to create' is very startling, and misleading perhaps. Perhaps these were the highest ranking priests and those who actually guided the production of the Sound.


Ashim: Who (or what) was Jules?

Hond: It is difficult to say if Jules was a real person, or more of a demi-God in whose name censure was carried out. Periodically members of the organization seem to have been reprimanded in the name of Jules. He may also have been a head priest at the time that these documents were generated. We just cannot tell. If he was indeed real, he appears to have been a fairly lofty presence, seldom becoming involved in the day to day discussions underway, other than to punish misdeeds of the members. It may have been the name of the office and not of a person of course.


Ashim: The writing used in these documents is of course very extraordinary. Can you comment on this?

Hond: It is indeed. Clearly it was accomplished by some sort of impression of type on the paper, but the sheer volume of it is extraordinary. We have of course had printing for over a hundred years now, but we believe that some sort of automatic process must have been used to generate this amount of text. Though, as we know, the concentrated efforts of religious organizations may account for it. Many monks dedicated to the process perhaps, segregated away and treating it as a sort of devotional activity.


Ashim: This is all so interesting, but we need to bring it to a close since I know that you have to catch a carriage. But we do hope that you will come back and tell us more when your team has had time to decipher more of these documents.

Hond: I certainly would be glad to do so. Thank you very much.
Old 1st June 2011
  #2
Lives for gear
 

Thank you Dean!

Delightful!
Old 1st June 2011
  #3
Lives for gear
Dude...
You could have recorded an entire CD in all that time
I'll read it tomorrow when my eyes are fresh.
Can't wait
Old 1st June 2011
  #4
Gear Guru
 
FFTT's Avatar
 

As our research continues, we find many battles were waged
over control of what must have been a rare substance. We see many
references to dB(s) and still do not understand their value.

We can only assume many souls perished in the conquest.
Old 1st June 2011
  #5
Gear Maniac
 
Johnscottguitar's Avatar
 

My day totally sucked like getting fired sucked... Then I read this and I will go to sleep with a smile on my face and a cramp in my stomach from all the laughter. Thank you.
Old 1st June 2011
  #6
Gear Maniac
 
Johnscottguitar's Avatar
 

There was also evidence that pointed to a destroyer/creator called Phantom Powre. With the ability to take and giveth life to many of the gods, and possibly to the supreme God Prehamp
Old 1st June 2011
  #7
Gear Maniac
 
BIGT-1's Avatar
 

Superb, Dean!
Old 1st June 2011
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertshaw View Post
Dude...
You could have recorded an entire CD in all that time. I'll read it tomorrow when my eyes are fresh. Can't wait
Someone has to get the truth out there, man.
Old 1st June 2011
  #9
Lives for gear
 
Lrmusic's Avatar
 

hehhehheh
Old 1st June 2011
  #10
Lives for gear
 
KRStudio's Avatar
 

This was great! I'm printing it and it's going on the studio wall.
I would love to hear what Dean has to say about the "compressors".
Old 1st June 2011
  #11
Absolutely hilarious, you made my day heh

This longs for a sequel
Old 1st June 2011
  #12
I'm surprised that your research hasn't uncovered anything about the Reformation movement "Ottotune" that is believed to have swept the church in the 21st century. Apparently the Ottotunists believed that humans could obtain perfection in every aspect in this life ("perfect pitch" they called it), while more traditional followers believed that human errors were a sign of "mojo", which seems to be some kind of enlightened, soulful state that was considered desirable.
Old 1st June 2011
  #13
The lowest level hell "B'aeringer" also needs to be analysed and discussed further heh
Old 1st June 2011
  #14
Lives for gear
 
ButchP's Avatar
 

But of course all of the sound they worshiped could not be heard clearly without the sacred altar fashioned from OC403..all hail the great God GIK!!!
Old 1st June 2011
  #15
Gear Maniac
 
ArisA's Avatar
 

Haha very nice. has to be somewhere in the studio to read it from time to time :P

Sent from my Milestone using Gearslutz.com App
Old 1st June 2011
  #16
Lives for gear
 
doncaparker's Avatar
 

So, where in the pantheon does Essem57 fit? He seems to be pretty important, too.

Excellent work, Dean. I feel some fan fiction coming on . . .
Old 1st June 2011
  #17
Loved it! Sequel ?


Neubeh!!!!
lol
Old 1st June 2011
  #18
Gear Maniac
 

Awesome! Thanks. :D
Old 1st June 2011
  #19
Quote:
Originally Posted by deft_bonz View Post
Absolutely hilarious, you made my day heh

This longs for a sequel
I'm probably already risking a visit from the God of Censure for such an off topic post!
Old 1st June 2011
  #20
Gear Addict
 

There was but one true god, and his name was Norman.

...or something like that.
Old 1st June 2011
  #21
Lives for gear
 

...groups of people of special training would sit together in a walled off room..."

More, more, please
Old 1st June 2011
  #22
But Professor... what about the legends that have persisted since time immemorial, that it was vicious warfare with the "Pryrates" that brought an end to this particular religious cult, as well as the entire global world civilization that may have existed around it??? I mean... everyone sort of takes that for granted, right???
Old 2nd June 2011
  #23
Maybe that was it. The Priests and Pyrates fought a long and violent war.
Old 2nd June 2011
  #24
Lives for gear
 
omtayslick's Avatar
 

Love it! Destined to be a classic. But perhaps I'm a little dense? Gagah with the suit of meat? That one went over my head. Enlighten me.
Old 2nd June 2011
  #25
Gear Head
 

Excellent.
Old 3rd June 2011
  #26
Lives for gear
 
Funny Cat's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by omtayslick View Post
Love it! Destined to be a classic. But perhaps I'm a little dense? Gagah with the suit of meat? That one went over my head. Enlighten me.
No offense intended but that was a joke, right?
Old 3rd June 2011
  #27
Lives for gear
 
Funny Cat's Avatar
Absolutely brilliant, Dean! Extremely entertaining. It had all my childhood favorite characters too; Priests, Pryrates, Neubehs, Nevehs!... Just wonderful heh
Old 3rd June 2011
  #28
Quote:
Originally Posted by omtayslick View Post
Love it! Destined to be a classic. But perhaps I'm a little dense? Gagah with the suit of meat? That one went over my head. Enlighten me.
If you search for Gaga and Meat Suit you should find plenty of info about this important cultural event.
Old 3rd June 2011
  #29
Lives for gear
 
changeng's Avatar
sterling. Bravo, kind sir. Perhaps prescient as well!
Old 4th June 2011
  #30
Lives for gear
 
ARIEL's Avatar
This a great and funny read well done ! It will be interesting to how people look back at us all even in just 200 years time .
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