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Best Harmony Central quotes
Old 24th June 2009
  #1
Lives for gear
 

Best Harmony Central quotes

''I left the mic just standing in the living room, and was amazed to be able to track a dog running across the lawn outside. I've never experienced perceived stereo positioning from a single mic before!''

''I plugged it in and set the gain on the preamp and left plenty of headroom, this mic sucks, it couldn't handle drums and gave this really crap annoying distortion sound when I recorded it''
Old 24th June 2009
  #2
Gear Maniac
 
Space Nugget's Avatar
 

I read one once a while back, forgot what amp it was for, but here it is:

"The lows on this baby were tighter than a clam's ass"
Old 24th June 2009
  #3
The pal who turned me on to GS years ago stopped coming here sometime in the last few years. (I'm sworn to not give the URL of his current hang. heh )

So when I read a howler here or at HC or elsewhere, I'll shoot it to him in an email.

Since most of the members at HC aren't engineering types, but often musicians of varying stripes and abilities and experience, some of the recording questions and comments that come up can get pretty amusing in a facepalm kinda way.

But the ones I usually send to my pal are typically not questions but pronouncements whose utter certainty belies extraordinary ignorance.


It's not the newbies who get me down... Everyone's a newb at something or other from time to time -- or he's simply stopped growing.

No, it's the newbs who think they already know everything... that's where the big, hollow laughs are...
Old 24th June 2009
  #4
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by theblue1 View Post
The pal who turned me on to GS years ago stopped coming here sometime in the last few years. (I'm sworn to not give the URL of his current hang. heh )

So when I read a howler here or at HC or elsewhere, I'll shoot it to him in an email.

Since most of the members at HC aren't engineering types, but often musicians of varying stripes and abilities and experience, some of the recording questions and comments that come up can get pretty amusing in a facepalm kinda way.

But the ones I usually send to my pal are typically not questions but pronouncements whose utter certainty belies extraordinary ignorance.


It's not the newbies who get me down... it's the newbs who think they already know everything.
Shoot
Old 24th June 2009
  #5
Gear Addict
 
Jay Dee's Avatar
 

If you want some good laughs check out the reviews of the various Esteban guitars over at Harmony Central. Oh buddy... like the guy whose fingers were bleeding from the sh*tty fretwork.
Old 24th June 2009
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay Dee View Post
If you want some good laughs check out the reviews of the various Esteban guitars over at Harmony Central. Oh buddy... like the guy whose fingers were bleeding from the sh*tty fretwork.
Man, I tend to stay away from some of the guitar forums over there (except acoustic, which is generally quite congenial and where there are a wide range of players, some quite good).

A couple of forums account for a whole lot of the suspensions and bannings at HC. You can understand that at the almost-anything-goes Open Jam forum, as well as the politics forum [holy hannah it gets positively nasty in there -- but then, that's what it's for]... but I can't for the life of me figure out why the guitar effects forum can get so virulent. [A lot of the frequent posters there seem to be quite young, for reasons not quite clear to me. Maybe it's all the green-behind-the-ears types looking for magic in a stomp box. I dunno.]

Anyhow... people are funny.
Old 24th June 2009
  #7
Gear Addict
 

There are a number of quotes over there that read something like " I've been playing for over 6 months and this is the best amp I've ever used!"

And I guess that is not so atypical of young people who may not have developed much perspective yet so it's to be expected. The ones that are annoying are the ones who can only articulate negative thoughts or are slamming other people's well formulated opinions to make themselves look like experts.
Old 24th June 2009
  #8
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rockstar_josh's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by theblue1 View Post
Man, I tend to stay away from some of the guitar forums over there (except acoustic, which is generally quite congenial and where there are a wide range of players, some quite good).

A couple of forums account for a whole lot of the suspensions and bannings at HC. You can understand that at the almost-anything-goes Open Jam forum, as well as the politics forum [holy hannah it gets positively nasty in there -- but then, that's what it's for]... but I can't for the life of me figure out why the guitar effects forum can get so virulent. [A lot of the frequent posters there seem to be quite young, for reasons not quite clear to me. Maybe it's all the green-behind-the-ears types looking for magic in a stomp box. I dunno.]

Anyhow... people are funny.
You ever browse your local Craigslist musicians' forum? If it's anything like Phoenix... holy crap, it shakes my faith in humanity. I just do not understand how if you give enough people an anonymous voice the best they can come up with is calling each other posers and f**gots. People are funny indeed.
Old 24th June 2009
  #9
Gear Addict
 
casey_outlaw's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockstar_josh View Post
You ever browse your local Craigslist musicians' forum? If it's anything like Phoenix... holy crap, it shakes my faith in humanity. I just do not understand how if you give enough people an anonymous voice the best they can come up with is calling each other posers and f**gots. People are funny indeed.
Orlando CL is the same way, so I'm at least happy to hear that it is not a local phenomenon. Here's an ad I copied and pasted from today's CL that I found funny (phone number removed to protect the not so innocent who is calling out all other producers):

DON"T waste your time and money with unrealistic and fake producers
Take it Seriously and make the next step.

OF MUSICA PRODUCTIONS
P: 321-***-****
OSCAR FERNANDO - OF MUSICA PRODUCTIONS - ORANCHE FUNK... the best music


and here is the link to hear what a realistic and real producer can do for you:

OSCAR FERNANDO - OF MUSICA PRODUCTIONS - ORANCHE FUNK... the best music

People are funny indeed.
Old 25th June 2009
  #10
Gear Addict
 
Jay Dee's Avatar
 

Actually TK I was referring to the reviews at HC not the forum, although they might share some of the same vibe, I don't know... Here's an example of the Esteban love:

Product: Esteban American Legacy
Price Paid: USD 279
Submitted 07/03/2008 at 05:32am by Sad guitarist
Email: jsmith138<at>hotmail dot com

Features : 1

I cant name the features on this guitar because there arent any. The tuners suck, I have to spend days tuning it when I put new strings on.
The bridge grooves are atrocious, the finish reaked of chemicals like another reviewer said; the paint job is supposed to look nice but looks like lipstick on a pig; the strings are impossible to bend on this guitar due to horrible tension caused by bad design. The fretboard is hard to play and almost gives me splinters.

Sound : 1

The sound is baaaad. Theres none of that nice crisp acoustic tone here- with Martin strings on it, it still sounds dead with no life to it. Strumming first position chords is about all I can do with it now. The sound is as bright as a full eclipse of the sun. This guitar kills strings fast- within a week of putting new strings on, they sound like "plunk plunk". Not a good sound at all.

Action, Fit, & Finish : 1

My Esteban was set up horribly. Within 3 months of owning it, the higher frets started becoming unplayable. First the frets around the 12th started dying, now its all the way from the 7th to the 13th, making this guitar unplayable. This guitar is made in China and it shows; its obviously made in some oppresive factory where the workers arent paid well or trained properly.
The binding on the neck looks like its made out of plastic...yech!!!

Reliability/Durability : 1

Not reliable at all. Im embarassed to play it in front of family or friends because of the sound and the dead frets. This Eseban guitar has no durability since it started breaking down after only 3 months of owning it, and I played it gently, having a suspicion that it wasnt made well to start with.
As reliable as a dead beat dad.

Customer Support : 1

Whats the use in contacted HSN? They are trained to not give people their money back. As far as contacting the makers, I dont speak Chinese. And as far as contacting Esteban, he can take his Zorro costume and go leap off a roof! He talks about how great quality his guitars are on HSN and then you buy one and its crap.

Overall Rating : 1

On a scale of 1 to 10 I'd give it a -30.
Parents dont buy Esteban guitars for you kids, they wont want to learn on a smelly guitar that doesnt sound good and falls apart. Get a Taylor Baby or a Takamine; much better for not much more money.

To other Esteban owners, who wants to file a Class Action Lawsuit with me???
[email protected]
Old 25th June 2009
  #11
Lives for gear
 
Dr. Mordo's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by theblue1 View Post
Man, I tend to stay away from some of the guitar forums over there (except acoustic, which is generally quite congenial and where there are a wide range of players, some quite good).

A couple of forums account for a whole lot of the suspensions and bannings at HC. You can understand that at the almost-anything-goes Open Jam forum, as well as the politics forum [holy hannah it gets positively nasty in there -- but then, that's what it's for]... but I can't for the life of me figure out why the guitar effects forum can get so virulent. [A lot of the frequent posters there seem to be quite young, for reasons not quite clear to me. Maybe it's all the green-behind-the-ears types looking for magic in a stomp box. I dunno.]

Anyhow... people are funny.
I am not a HC enthusiast so I don't know exactly what has been going on over there. However, in the DIY guitar effects community there was a major and very nasty rift on the last coupla years over intellectual property rights (to reverse enginneer, or not to reverse engineer, that is the question), and it wouldn't surprise me if some of the very open hostility in the diy effects forums migrated over to HC.

I quit messing with HC because it seemed like 99% of the gear reviews were by people who had no idea whatsoever what they were talking about.

But I guess that's the point of this thread.
Old 25th June 2009
  #12
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay Dee View Post
Actually TK I was referring to the reviews at HC not the forum, although they might share some of the same vibe, I don't know... Here's an example of the Esteban love:

Product: Esteban American Legacy
Price Paid: USD 279
Submitted 07/03/2008 at 05:32am by Sad guitarist
Email: jsmith138<at>hotmail dot com

Features : 1

I cant name the features on this guitar because there arent any. The tuners suck, I have to spend days tuning it when I put new strings on.
The bridge grooves are atrocious, the finish reaked of chemicals like another reviewer said; the paint job is supposed to look nice but looks like lipstick on a pig; the strings are impossible to bend on this guitar due to horrible tension caused by bad design. The fretboard is hard to play and almost gives me splinters.

Sound : 1

The sound is baaaad. Theres none of that nice crisp acoustic tone here- with Martin strings on it, it still sounds dead with no life to it. Strumming first position chords is about all I can do with it now. The sound is as bright as a full eclipse of the sun. This guitar kills strings fast- within a week of putting new strings on, they sound like "plunk plunk". Not a good sound at all.

Action, Fit, & Finish : 1

My Esteban was set up horribly. Within 3 months of owning it, the higher frets started becoming unplayable. First the frets around the 12th started dying, now its all the way from the 7th to the 13th, making this guitar unplayable. This guitar is made in China and it shows; its obviously made in some oppresive factory where the workers arent paid well or trained properly.
The binding on the neck looks like its made out of plastic...yech!!!

Reliability/Durability : 1

Not reliable at all. Im embarassed to play it in front of family or friends because of the sound and the dead frets. This Eseban guitar has no durability since it started breaking down after only 3 months of owning it, and I played it gently, having a suspicion that it wasnt made well to start with.
As reliable as a dead beat dad.

Customer Support : 1

Whats the use in contacted HSN? They are trained to not give people their money back. As far as contacting the makers, I dont speak Chinese. And as far as contacting Esteban, he can take his Zorro costume and go leap off a roof! He talks about how great quality his guitars are on HSN and then you buy one and its crap.

Overall Rating : 1

On a scale of 1 to 10 I'd give it a -30.
Parents dont buy Esteban guitars for you kids, they wont want to learn on a smelly guitar that doesnt sound good and falls apart. Get a Taylor Baby or a Takamine; much better for not much more money.

To other Esteban owners, who wants to file a Class Action Lawsuit with me???
[email protected]
Ow! heh

How
did these guys end up with Esteban's anyhow? They can't all be misguided Father's Day and Valentine's Day gifts... can they?

I mean... what sane guitar player in his right mind could wake up in the middle of the night in the middle of an Esteban infomercial and think, Yeah, I got the GAS for that!
Old 25th June 2009
  #13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Mordo View Post
I am not a HC enthusiast so I don't know exactly what has been going on over there. However, in the DIY guitar effects community there was a major and very nasty rift on the last coupla years over intellectual property rights (to reverse enginneer, or not to reverse engineer, that is the question), and it wouldn't surprise me if some of the very open hostility in the diy effects forums migrated over to HC.

I quit messing with HC because it seemed like 99% of the gear reviews were by people who had no idea whatsoever what they were talking about.

But I guess that's the point of this thread.
That's interesting. My soldering iron is buried in the garage, somewhere, so the DIY forum is just someplace that makes me feel guilty. I didn't know about the rift -- but it doesn't surprise me. Schismogenesis is real.

In general, I don't read any of the reviews there unless it's Craig Anderton, himself, or one of the other guys I know has his head on square.

But I've suppressed all my gear acquisistion syndrome symptoms for the duration... A while back I decided that I wasn't going to buy any more gear until I'd really tapped out what I have. (New computers, ahem, don't count. I need the computer for the ol' dayjob, anyhow. heh )


I do spend a little time in the songwriting forum, there. (Someone very close to my cat is the moderator, there. heh ) Also, Craig's own forum (which is pretty wide open, topic-wise, but generally quite congenial), the acoustic guitar forum, and the recording forum (which has a lot of newbs who often need help with simple factual questions which is what I typically restrict myself to -- I don't do Which preamp? threads.) I keep meaning to hang out in the vocalists' forum, because I really, really need to work on my technique -- but singers, in general, really freak me out. heh
Old 25th June 2009
  #14
man. i about fell off my chair laughing at all this.

that estebon **** is hilarious. my curiosity has been peaked. im goin in boys.
Old 25th June 2009
  #15
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Dr. Mordo's Avatar
 

Singers freak me out, too.

I didn't realize Craig Anderton was a mod at HC; he's kind of a big deal. He is an icon in the DIY effects community. I thought he was retired or something since he doesn't participate in the biggest DIY effects forums on the web - which exist largely because of his work.
Old 25th June 2009
  #16
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norman_nomad's Avatar
The "Rip Glitter' reviews are the best...


"Price Paid: US $2000

Features: 10
All right, **** is just getting out of hand here. People keep e-mailing me wanting to know all about my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V. Like I don't have anything better to do than sit here and write reviews? **** that. When I'm not pulling double shifts at Walgreens, I'm spending my time the way any true rocker knows how -- banging HEADS and banging SLUTS, with some quality brew time with my good buddy Dino on the side. Whether it's shredding out with my new band SLUTBANGER, or my side project LETHALICON, I always keep the intense metal mayhem BURNING like the crotch of a Vietnamese *****. You know what I'm talking about.


Anyways, I'm not going to tell you all that technical bull**** that you don't want to hear. All that **** about double-locking tremoloes, humbuckers, strings, and all the stuff that dudes who liked Slayer's "Diabolus In Musica" better than "South of Heaven" probably care about. If you don't own "South of Heaven," then give me call so I can come over and beat you senseless with my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, because you're about as metal as that kid whose ass I stomped at the last Insatanity show because he asked me if i liked the latest GORETICIAN disc. On the other hand, if you didn't know that "South of Heaven" is a Slayer album, then you should probably call your mom or whoever it is that kept your crib too close to the microwave and thanks them for ****ing up your BRAIN so much that you're totally ignorant of the most savagely INTENSE metal album since Blizzard of Ozz.


As for my Signature - you bet your ass - SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, it used to be all polka dot and ****, but Dino hooked me up with this wicked artist named Arturo who works down in Romeoville. He did a sweet-ass painting of a wolf pack hunting at night. Even though I had to stop playing with Rabid Wolf after that ****head Jimmy actually asked me to turn it DOWN one day at practice, probably because he's what we true metal maniacs like to call "a pussy assed bitch," it's still a killer wicked paint job that I'm gonna match on my Camaro hood once I finish up my neighbor's lawn.

Sound: 10
You want to know what the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V sounds like? Let me introduce you to a little something called UNCAGED METAL DESTRUCTION. When I first got my V, I went down into my basement, plugged it into my EVH 5150 custom half-stack with a 300-foot cord, and then I climbed up into my attic and stood in the window, looking over my neighborhood and wondering if they had any idea that there was about to be a full-frontal metal assault rolling straight through their homes. As I hit that first power G chord, I felt my house rumble as the sonic metal INVASION trampled its way through its walls and loosed itself upon my unsuspecting neighbor, who was stupid enough to come out from his backyard and ask me what was going on. I mean, by now the neighbors know that when I'm standing in that attic window, they should watch where they step because their BALLS are about to be rocked off.


So ANYWAY, there I am, giving my neighbor a good look at what it means to be a true rocker, and just for fun I start practicing some killer Maiden licks when he tries to tell me to turn it down or he'd call the police. Do I look like I have time for his rules?? I'm ****ing rocking out, man! I unzipped my pants and told him what he could do with his police.


Anyway, the point is, the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, if you're lucky enough to own one, will grab you by the throat and spit nothing but pure, UNADULTERATED METAL TONE in your face. Why am I telling you this? If you haven't heard this guitar by now, then you obviously have no concept of what true METAL is all about. You've heard what I've said about Mexican Stratocasters? I bet you play one, don't you, you little bitch? That's what I thought. The Randy Rhoads V gives you maximum tonal definition while acting as a massive slut magnet at every show you bring it to. Just keep a rag handy, because chicks get so wet around this baby, they might end up dripping all over the EQ knobs, and that can seriously **** up your electronics

Action, Fit, & Finish: 10
Does this guitar have any flaws? Maybe the fact that you'll have to waste more time kicking the asses of punks that come over and hang around in your basement trying to get a look at it. Like when I came home one day from Dino's, and I heard some totally un-metal, pussy-ass, limp-wristed NON-POWER-CHORDS coming from my basement. I kicked open the door with my boot and found my ****ing little brother Randy actually trying to PLAY MY ****ING GUITAR. Now as you know, this was just one of the many occasions that I found Randy ****ing with my ****. Mom says that I should be nicer to him because he looks up to me. **** that! I was the one who named him Randy (after you-know-who), in the hopes that he might end up being a brutal demon of speed metal and we could rock out like true brothers of doom, but instead he's just a snotty little punk who likes to get his grubby little hands on my ****. So I had to teach him a lesson.


I grabbed that Jackson V out of his hands and twisted the guitar strap around his neck while it was still on the guitar, and then I put the guitar on his shoulders, strapped his hands to either end with a couple spare cables I had lying around, and I pulled off my belt. Man, could he scream! After five or six whips across the back with my studded Motorhead belt buckle, Mom came down and started yelling at me. She started unstrapping him from the guitar, and I only got a couple more licks in across his shoulders before I had to stop my axe from hitting the ground. That paint job was ****ing expensive, you know? Mom kept screaming and Randy's blowing snot everywhere because he was crying like a ****ing little mama's boy. I mean, if he's not ready to face the lion, then why'd he walk in the cage? That's what I say. I tried to explain to my mom that, quite obviously, Randy had not grown up to be as metal as we both had hoped, but she totally didn't understand. But I'll tell you one thing - it was a lon time before Randy ****ed with any of my **** anymore.

Reliability/Durability: 10
Have you ever grabbed your axe by the neck and clocked some punk in the teeth with it because he said that "Powerslave" is a better album than "Seventh Son"? I have, and let me tell you, my SIGNATURE Jackson V split his face without picking up a scratch. This baby has taken more beatings than Cannibal Corpse's drum kit on "The Bleeding." As for reliability, do I sound like the kind of poser who would play anything but the BEST guitar for hours upon hours of thrashing metal annihilation? Not ONCE has my V let me down, not even when I got so overwhelmed by its killer tone that I had to climb up on my 5150 half stack and jump onto my lead singer's back, guitar and all. I mean, sometimes there's just so much metal pounding through my brain that I just have to let it out, you know? Anyway, after I started chewing on his ear, he threw me and my Jackson V on the ground, but the V never once stopped ejaculating its hot metal love juice all over me.

Customer Support: N/A
Dude, haven't I told you that I NEVER, EVER TALK TO CORPORATE NON-ROCKERS about my gear? You might as well just buy yourself a pretty little keyboard and start up some pussy dance pop band, because those are the only people who would actually call somebody in an OFFICE and ask them how to rock.

Overall Rating: 10
This guitar cost about five times more than my car, but it's worth every penny. Do you want to get swallowed up by a WHIRLWIND OF BRUTALITY, not to mention by all those metal sluts who will be dropping to their knees for you when they see you walking backstage with that alligator-skinned guitar case and a pair of electric blue spandex pants? If not, then stay on your couch and strum your Simon and Garfunkel songs on whatever lame acoustic guitar you just found in your closet. But if you're ready to get sweaty with the hottest metal sluts this side of Gary, Indiana, then grab your wallet and stop acting like such a bitch. Once, when I hit a particularly animalistic harmonic on this baby, I heard this ear-shattering screech. It wasn't coming out of my amp, but from the alley behind my dad's garage. When I walked out back, I found that my precisely honed chops, when matched up with the SIGNATURE Jackson V, were enough to induce seizures into the family of raccoons that live in our dumpster. So don't buy this guitar if you're someone who only goes halfway, because the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V will know. So if you try to plug this thing into a Fender Blues Combo or some other pussy piece of **** amp that isn't ready to unleash an unrelenting METAL STORM on the world, it will probably just stop working, or maybe even attempt to choke you to death with the guitar strap. Don't ask me how. This thing is ****ing brutal.

Submitted by Rip Glitter at 07/25/2001 14:21"
Old 25th June 2009
  #17
this one was on a behringer bass cab. i figured id find a good one over there. didnt take long.


"sound was not up to the mark. this is supposed to be 120watts!!! nowhere near it. the amp i sold to buy this one was a trace elliot boxer 30watt with 1 x 10" speaker. it had far more balls than this one. i only wanted a small practice amp but the behringer was not even good enough for this. glad i didn't have to use it on a gig. sold it after 3 weeks and bought an ashdown mag 200 combo. "

trace elliot for a behringer. somehow the math on that doesnt add up.

this is from another articule just a page down from that one.


"If it were stolen (please), I would not buy another. I'd look for something with more power and definitely not made by Behringer.
I like the features and the size, but it does weigh a ton.
When I bought it, there wasn't much else in that range with those features or that compact size.

FINAL SUMMARY: IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING BUYING A BEHRINGER AMP, BE PREPARED FOR POTENTIAL PROBLEMS. THE PRICE IS GOOD AND THE FEATURES MAY BE ATTRACTIVE, BUT YOU ARE ONLY GETTING WHAT YOU PAY FOR. CHINESE MANUFACTURED"
Old 25th June 2009
  #18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Mordo View Post
Singers freak me out, too.

I didn't realize Craig Anderton was a mod at HC; he's kind of a big deal. He is an icon in the DIY effects community. I thought he was retired or something since he doesn't participate in the biggest DIY effects forums on the web - which exist largely because of his work.
Retired? Craig? Hell, no. He's always banging around and doing stuff. Engineering and mastering, apparently as well as editing vids for the AES. He's got a power duo, EV2, with Public Enemy's bass player, Brian Hardgroove, on drums. Oh, and he's the current exec editor of EQ, which prompted me to finally resubscribe to that mag (hasn't started yet).

Craig seems to be one of those irritating guys who's always adding to a curriculum vitae that's already absurdly long. heh


Back to singers... I don't know what it is. There's just something about a guy who's willing to stand up naked (er, w/out a guitar or keyboard in front of him) in front of a band and sing that kinda freaks me out. I did precisely one, one performance only project band where I was the stand-up singer and it was seriously weird up there. I found myself doing stupid, irritating things (it was a party, I knew most everyone but that was no excuse)... I can see why guys will strap on a guitar and then play like a couple of chords... the guitar hanging there gives you something to do with your hands rather than wave them around and emote. I dunno. Besides, I'm the kinda singer who, when he doesn't have a guitar, makes people go, Gee, I wonder what ever posessed him to start singing?
Old 25th June 2009
  #19
Quote:
Originally Posted by norman_nomad View Post
The "Rip Glitter' reviews are the best...


"Price Paid: US $2000

Features: 10
All right, **** is just getting out of hand here. People keep e-mailing me wanting to know all about my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V. Like I don't have anything better to do than sit here and write reviews? **** that. When I'm not pulling double shifts at Walgreens, I'm spending my time the way any true rocker knows how -- banging HEADS and banging SLUTS, with some quality brew time with my good buddy Dino on the side. Whether it's shredding out with my new band SLUTBANGER, or my side project LETHALICON, I always keep the intense metal mayhem BURNING like the crotch of a Vietnamese *****. You know what I'm talking about.


Anyways, I'm not going to tell you all that technical bull**** that you don't want to hear. All that **** about double-locking tremoloes, humbuckers, strings, and all the stuff that dudes who liked Slayer's "Diabolus In Musica" better than "South of Heaven" probably care about. If you don't own "South of Heaven," then give me call so I can come over and beat you senseless with my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, because you're about as metal as that kid whose ass I stomped at the last Insatanity show because he asked me if i liked the latest GORETICIAN disc. On the other hand, if you didn't know that "South of Heaven" is a Slayer album, then you should probably call your mom or whoever it is that kept your crib too close to the microwave and thanks them for ****ing up your BRAIN so much that you're totally ignorant of the most savagely INTENSE metal album since Blizzard of Ozz.


As for my Signature - you bet your ass - SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, it used to be all polka dot and ****, but Dino hooked me up with this wicked artist named Arturo who works down in Romeoville. He did a sweet-ass painting of a wolf pack hunting at night. Even though I had to stop playing with Rabid Wolf after that ****head Jimmy actually asked me to turn it DOWN one day at practice, probably because he's what we true metal maniacs like to call "a pussy assed bitch," it's still a killer wicked paint job that I'm gonna match on my Camaro hood once I finish up my neighbor's lawn.

Sound: 10
You want to know what the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V sounds like? Let me introduce you to a little something called UNCAGED METAL DESTRUCTION. When I first got my V, I went down into my basement, plugged it into my EVH 5150 custom half-stack with a 300-foot cord, and then I climbed up into my attic and stood in the window, looking over my neighborhood and wondering if they had any idea that there was about to be a full-frontal metal assault rolling straight through their homes. As I hit that first power G chord, I felt my house rumble as the sonic metal INVASION trampled its way through its walls and loosed itself upon my unsuspecting neighbor, who was stupid enough to come out from his backyard and ask me what was going on. I mean, by now the neighbors know that when I'm standing in that attic window, they should watch where they step because their BALLS are about to be rocked off.


So ANYWAY, there I am, giving my neighbor a good look at what it means to be a true rocker, and just for fun I start practicing some killer Maiden licks when he tries to tell me to turn it down or he'd call the police. Do I look like I have time for his rules?? I'm ****ing rocking out, man! I unzipped my pants and told him what he could do with his police.


Anyway, the point is, the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, if you're lucky enough to own one, will grab you by the throat and spit nothing but pure, UNADULTERATED METAL TONE in your face. Why am I telling you this? If you haven't heard this guitar by now, then you obviously have no concept of what true METAL is all about. You've heard what I've said about Mexican Stratocasters? I bet you play one, don't you, you little bitch? That's what I thought. The Randy Rhoads V gives you maximum tonal definition while acting as a massive slut magnet at every show you bring it to. Just keep a rag handy, because chicks get so wet around this baby, they might end up dripping all over the EQ knobs, and that can seriously **** up your electronics

Action, Fit, & Finish: 10
Does this guitar have any flaws? Maybe the fact that you'll have to waste more time kicking the asses of punks that come over and hang around in your basement trying to get a look at it. Like when I came home one day from Dino's, and I heard some totally un-metal, pussy-ass, limp-wristed NON-POWER-CHORDS coming from my basement. I kicked open the door with my boot and found my ****ing little brother Randy actually trying to PLAY MY ****ING GUITAR. Now as you know, this was just one of the many occasions that I found Randy ****ing with my ****. Mom says that I should be nicer to him because he looks up to me. **** that! I was the one who named him Randy (after you-know-who), in the hopes that he might end up being a brutal demon of speed metal and we could rock out like true brothers of doom, but instead he's just a snotty little punk who likes to get his grubby little hands on my ****. So I had to teach him a lesson.


I grabbed that Jackson V out of his hands and twisted the guitar strap around his neck while it was still on the guitar, and then I put the guitar on his shoulders, strapped his hands to either end with a couple spare cables I had lying around, and I pulled off my belt. Man, could he scream! After five or six whips across the back with my studded Motorhead belt buckle, Mom came down and started yelling at me. She started unstrapping him from the guitar, and I only got a couple more licks in across his shoulders before I had to stop my axe from hitting the ground. That paint job was ****ing expensive, you know? Mom kept screaming and Randy's blowing snot everywhere because he was crying like a ****ing little mama's boy. I mean, if he's not ready to face the lion, then why'd he walk in the cage? That's what I say. I tried to explain to my mom that, quite obviously, Randy had not grown up to be as metal as we both had hoped, but she totally didn't understand. But I'll tell you one thing - it was a lon time before Randy ****ed with any of my **** anymore.

Reliability/Durability: 10
Have you ever grabbed your axe by the neck and clocked some punk in the teeth with it because he said that "Powerslave" is a better album than "Seventh Son"? I have, and let me tell you, my SIGNATURE Jackson V split his face without picking up a scratch. This baby has taken more beatings than Cannibal Corpse's drum kit on "The Bleeding." As for reliability, do I sound like the kind of poser who would play anything but the BEST guitar for hours upon hours of thrashing metal annihilation? Not ONCE has my V let me down, not even when I got so overwhelmed by its killer tone that I had to climb up on my 5150 half stack and jump onto my lead singer's back, guitar and all. I mean, sometimes there's just so much metal pounding through my brain that I just have to let it out, you know? Anyway, after I started chewing on his ear, he threw me and my Jackson V on the ground, but the V never once stopped ejaculating its hot metal love juice all over me.

Customer Support: N/A
Dude, haven't I told you that I NEVER, EVER TALK TO CORPORATE NON-ROCKERS about my gear? You might as well just buy yourself a pretty little keyboard and start up some pussy dance pop band, because those are the only people who would actually call somebody in an OFFICE and ask them how to rock.

Overall Rating: 10
This guitar cost about five times more than my car, but it's worth every penny. Do you want to get swallowed up by a WHIRLWIND OF BRUTALITY, not to mention by all those metal sluts who will be dropping to their knees for you when they see you walking backstage with that alligator-skinned guitar case and a pair of electric blue spandex pants? If not, then stay on your couch and strum your Simon and Garfunkel songs on whatever lame acoustic guitar you just found in your closet. But if you're ready to get sweaty with the hottest metal sluts this side of Gary, Indiana, then grab your wallet and stop acting like such a bitch. Once, when I hit a particularly animalistic harmonic on this baby, I heard this ear-shattering screech. It wasn't coming out of my amp, but from the alley behind my dad's garage. When I walked out back, I found that my precisely honed chops, when matched up with the SIGNATURE Jackson V, were enough to induce seizures into the family of raccoons that live in our dumpster. So don't buy this guitar if you're someone who only goes halfway, because the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V will know. So if you try to plug this thing into a Fender Blues Combo or some other pussy piece of **** amp that isn't ready to unleash an unrelenting METAL STORM on the world, it will probably just stop working, or maybe even attempt to choke you to death with the guitar strap. Don't ask me how. This thing is ****ing brutal.

Submitted by Rip Glitter at 07/25/2001 14:21"
Bloody ****ing priceless!


Clearly...
I'm going to have to be spending more time in the review section. The Onion needs that dude. Kidding... or not.
Old 25th June 2009
  #20
[QUOTE=norman_nomad;4316224]The "Rip Glitter' reviews are the best...


"Price Paid: US $2000

Features: 10
All right, **** is just getting out of hand here. People keep e-mailing me wanting to know all about my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V. Like I don't have anything better to do than sit here and write reviews? **** that. When I'm not pulling double shifts at Walgreens, I'm spending my time the way any true rocker knows how -- banging HEADS and banging SLUTS, with some quality brew time with my good buddy Dino on the side. Whether it's shredding out with my new band SLUTBANGER, or my side project LETHALICON, I always keep the intense metal mayhem BURNING like the crotch of a Vietnamese *****. You know what I'm talking about.



good jesus is that real?
Old 25th June 2009
  #21
Quote:
Originally Posted by sameal View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by norman_nomad View Post
The "Rip Glitter' reviews are the best...


"Price Paid: US $2000

Features: 10
All right, **** is just getting out of hand here. People keep e-mailing me wanting to know all about my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V. Like I don't have anything better to do than sit here and write reviews? **** that. When I'm not pulling double shifts at Walgreens, I'm spending my time the way any true rocker knows how -- banging HEADS and banging SLUTS, with some quality brew time with my good buddy Dino on the side. Whether it's shredding out with my new band SLUTBANGER, or my side project LETHALICON, I always keep the intense metal mayhem BURNING like the crotch of a Vietnamese *****. You know what I'm talking about.

good jesus is that real?
Are Satan-worshiping metal bands real?

Sometimes it's best to just not know...

heh
Old 25th June 2009
  #22
Quote:
Originally Posted by theblue1 View Post
Are Satan-worshiping metal bands real?

Sometimes it's best to just not know...

heh

set and match. game.
Old 25th June 2009
  #23
Lives for gear
 
Soldier777c's Avatar
 

Product: Esteban American Legacy Limited Edition
Price Paid: USD 164.99
Submitted 02/04/2008 at 02:16am by Derek

Features : 1
I assume that this piece of crap was made in 2007. I wanted a campfire guitar and my Yamaha was just a bit too expensive to take with me camping. I saw this on Home Shopping and it looked good so I took the plunge. Well what a mistake that was. The guitar arrived and when I opened the box I was overcome by fumes, that to me seemed toxic. I left the guitar out in the garage for a week to see if that smell would go away. It did a bit but next I was greeted by some black crud coming off on my fingers when I picked it up to first play it. It smelled like a varnish or something. It stunk up my fingers as well. Anyways I threw it in the car and headed out for the camping spot. After we got the fire started I brought it out and tried to tune it up for a song. As soon as I turned the tuning pegs the bridge lifted right off the ratwood soundboard. Strings went flying and I cursed the maker of this pile of junk. I smashed it against the picnic table, waking up other campers then threw the remains into the fire. I was glad to see the end of it.

Sound : 1
I never even got a note off of this junk toy. The bridge lifted as soon as I tried to tune it up.

Action, Fit, & Finish : 1
The tuners were cheap. Like about $.49 for a set of six. The wood was wet and smelled like chemicals. It probably would be illegal to use whatever they used on it over here. The action when I first viewed it should have been and indication that it would be unplayable. Any fret below the 3rd fret was just way to high to even finger a note. Hand-made indeed! Never buy without playing a guitar first at your local guitar shop.

Reliability/Durability : 1
It lasted 30 seconds when I tried to tune it up, plus 2 minutes while I eyed it over when i got it, plus about 30 more seconds while I smashed it to bits. Had I not smashed it, the thing would have fallen apart all on it's own in a matter of weeks I'm sure.

Customer Support : 1
Does anyone have Esteban's phone number? It's 2:15 a.m. and I'd like to talk to him about this guitar that he was raving on about.

Overall Rating : 1
I was a sucker for buying this. I should have known better. You have been warned. DO NOT BUY AN ESTEBAN PRODUCT OF ANY SORT. You will be getting ripped off if you do. Please learn from my stupid mistake.

Thank you.


LMAO
Old 25th June 2009
  #24
Lives for gear
 
DontLetMeDrown's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by norman_nomad View Post
The "Rip Glitter' reviews are the best...


"Price Paid: US $2000

Features: 10
All right, **** is just getting out of hand here. People keep e-mailing me wanting to know all about my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V. Like I don't have anything better to do than sit here and write reviews? **** that. When I'm not pulling double shifts at Walgreens, I'm spending my time the way any true rocker knows how -- banging HEADS and banging SLUTS, with some quality brew time with my good buddy Dino on the side. Whether it's shredding out with my new band SLUTBANGER, or my side project LETHALICON, I always keep the intense metal mayhem BURNING like the crotch of a Vietnamese *****. You know what I'm talking about.


Anyways, I'm not going to tell you all that technical bull**** that you don't want to hear. All that **** about double-locking tremoloes, humbuckers, strings, and all the stuff that dudes who liked Slayer's "Diabolus In Musica" better than "South of Heaven" probably care about. If you don't own "South of Heaven," then give me call so I can come over and beat you senseless with my SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, because you're about as metal as that kid whose ass I stomped at the last Insatanity show because he asked me if i liked the latest GORETICIAN disc. On the other hand, if you didn't know that "South of Heaven" is a Slayer album, then you should probably call your mom or whoever it is that kept your crib too close to the microwave and thanks them for ****ing up your BRAIN so much that you're totally ignorant of the most savagely INTENSE metal album since Blizzard of Ozz.


As for my Signature - you bet your ass - SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, it used to be all polka dot and ****, but Dino hooked me up with this wicked artist named Arturo who works down in Romeoville. He did a sweet-ass painting of a wolf pack hunting at night. Even though I had to stop playing with Rabid Wolf after that ****head Jimmy actually asked me to turn it DOWN one day at practice, probably because he's what we true metal maniacs like to call "a pussy assed bitch," it's still a killer wicked paint job that I'm gonna match on my Camaro hood once I finish up my neighbor's lawn.

Sound: 10
You want to know what the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V sounds like? Let me introduce you to a little something called UNCAGED METAL DESTRUCTION. When I first got my V, I went down into my basement, plugged it into my EVH 5150 custom half-stack with a 300-foot cord, and then I climbed up into my attic and stood in the window, looking over my neighborhood and wondering if they had any idea that there was about to be a full-frontal metal assault rolling straight through their homes. As I hit that first power G chord, I felt my house rumble as the sonic metal INVASION trampled its way through its walls and loosed itself upon my unsuspecting neighbor, who was stupid enough to come out from his backyard and ask me what was going on. I mean, by now the neighbors know that when I'm standing in that attic window, they should watch where they step because their BALLS are about to be rocked off.


So ANYWAY, there I am, giving my neighbor a good look at what it means to be a true rocker, and just for fun I start practicing some killer Maiden licks when he tries to tell me to turn it down or he'd call the police. Do I look like I have time for his rules?? I'm ****ing rocking out, man! I unzipped my pants and told him what he could do with his police.


Anyway, the point is, the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, if you're lucky enough to own one, will grab you by the throat and spit nothing but pure, UNADULTERATED METAL TONE in your face. Why am I telling you this? If you haven't heard this guitar by now, then you obviously have no concept of what true METAL is all about. You've heard what I've said about Mexican Stratocasters? I bet you play one, don't you, you little bitch? That's what I thought. The Randy Rhoads V gives you maximum tonal definition while acting as a massive slut magnet at every show you bring it to. Just keep a rag handy, because chicks get so wet around this baby, they might end up dripping all over the EQ knobs, and that can seriously **** up your electronics

Action, Fit, & Finish: 10
Does this guitar have any flaws? Maybe the fact that you'll have to waste more time kicking the asses of punks that come over and hang around in your basement trying to get a look at it. Like when I came home one day from Dino's, and I heard some totally un-metal, pussy-ass, limp-wristed NON-POWER-CHORDS coming from my basement. I kicked open the door with my boot and found my ****ing little brother Randy actually trying to PLAY MY ****ING GUITAR. Now as you know, this was just one of the many occasions that I found Randy ****ing with my ****. Mom says that I should be nicer to him because he looks up to me. **** that! I was the one who named him Randy (after you-know-who), in the hopes that he might end up being a brutal demon of speed metal and we could rock out like true brothers of doom, but instead he's just a snotty little punk who likes to get his grubby little hands on my ****. So I had to teach him a lesson.


I grabbed that Jackson V out of his hands and twisted the guitar strap around his neck while it was still on the guitar, and then I put the guitar on his shoulders, strapped his hands to either end with a couple spare cables I had lying around, and I pulled off my belt. Man, could he scream! After five or six whips across the back with my studded Motorhead belt buckle, Mom came down and started yelling at me. She started unstrapping him from the guitar, and I only got a couple more licks in across his shoulders before I had to stop my axe from hitting the ground. That paint job was ****ing expensive, you know? Mom kept screaming and Randy's blowing snot everywhere because he was crying like a ****ing little mama's boy. I mean, if he's not ready to face the lion, then why'd he walk in the cage? That's what I say. I tried to explain to my mom that, quite obviously, Randy had not grown up to be as metal as we both had hoped, but she totally didn't understand. But I'll tell you one thing - it was a lon time before Randy ****ed with any of my **** anymore.

Reliability/Durability: 10
Have you ever grabbed your axe by the neck and clocked some punk in the teeth with it because he said that "Powerslave" is a better album than "Seventh Son"? I have, and let me tell you, my SIGNATURE Jackson V split his face without picking up a scratch. This baby has taken more beatings than Cannibal Corpse's drum kit on "The Bleeding." As for reliability, do I sound like the kind of poser who would play anything but the BEST guitar for hours upon hours of thrashing metal annihilation? Not ONCE has my V let me down, not even when I got so overwhelmed by its killer tone that I had to climb up on my 5150 half stack and jump onto my lead singer's back, guitar and all. I mean, sometimes there's just so much metal pounding through my brain that I just have to let it out, you know? Anyway, after I started chewing on his ear, he threw me and my Jackson V on the ground, but the V never once stopped ejaculating its hot metal love juice all over me.

Customer Support: N/A
Dude, haven't I told you that I NEVER, EVER TALK TO CORPORATE NON-ROCKERS about my gear? You might as well just buy yourself a pretty little keyboard and start up some pussy dance pop band, because those are the only people who would actually call somebody in an OFFICE and ask them how to rock.

Overall Rating: 10
This guitar cost about five times more than my car, but it's worth every penny. Do you want to get swallowed up by a WHIRLWIND OF BRUTALITY, not to mention by all those metal sluts who will be dropping to their knees for you when they see you walking backstage with that alligator-skinned guitar case and a pair of electric blue spandex pants? If not, then stay on your couch and strum your Simon and Garfunkel songs on whatever lame acoustic guitar you just found in your closet. But if you're ready to get sweaty with the hottest metal sluts this side of Gary, Indiana, then grab your wallet and stop acting like such a bitch. Once, when I hit a particularly animalistic harmonic on this baby, I heard this ear-shattering screech. It wasn't coming out of my amp, but from the alley behind my dad's garage. When I walked out back, I found that my precisely honed chops, when matched up with the SIGNATURE Jackson V, were enough to induce seizures into the family of raccoons that live in our dumpster. So don't buy this guitar if you're someone who only goes halfway, because the SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V will know. So if you try to plug this thing into a Fender Blues Combo or some other pussy piece of **** amp that isn't ready to unleash an unrelenting METAL STORM on the world, it will probably just stop working, or maybe even attempt to choke you to death with the guitar strap. Don't ask me how. This thing is ****ing brutal.

Submitted by Rip Glitter at 07/25/2001 14:21"
Good god, that was ****ing hilarious. Where can I find more of those?
Old 25th June 2009
  #25
Here for the gear
 

[QUOTE=casey_outlaw;4315768]Orlando CL is the same way, so I'm at least happy to hear that it is not a local phenomenon. Here's an ad I copied and pasted from today's CL that I found funny (phone number removed to protect the not so innocent who is calling out all other producers):

I'm glad someone else has seen the craziness that is the orlando craigslist
Old 25th June 2009
  #26
Lives for gear
 
norman_nomad's Avatar
I think he's only done 4 reviews... there are various fakes on the net... here's another:

"Danelectro DD-1 Fab Tone pedal:

Price Paid: US $50 used
Ease of Use: 10
Okay, really, is any pedal difficult to use? There's four knobs, and in order to get this pedal working, all you have to do is start turning them all clockwise. If you don't like the sound, try turning some counterclockwise. Mix and match to what you want. If you can't figure it out after all of this, try plugging it in. Then start rocking out to your Seven Mary Three power chords or whatever the **** you're listening to, because you obviously haven't attained the brain power to properly operate a light switch, must less attempt anything more complex than a rousing rendition of "Cumbersome."

Sound Quality: 9
You want to know my setup? Damn you're a nosy bitch. 1974 Fender Telecaster through a Danelectro Fab Tone DD-1 into my Fender M-80 combo. That's it. Personally, I don't like having to **** around with 19 pedals when I only have two feet which are usually reserved for helping me run around the stage and leap off my amp during the downbeat of "Whole Lotta Rosie" when my band "Rabid Wolf" rocks out twice a week at the Greenbriar Bowl-A-Rama.

Reliability: 10
You want to know how dependable this pedal is? After I found my little brother Randy messing with the new chrome rims on my Camaro, I rolled my Fab Tone up in a towel and beat him like a stepchild on Sunday, and it was still able to carry me through the solo for Trixter's "Give It To Me Good" without even a hint of static. This pedal is designed for ASS KICKIN' hard rock, so don't even bother looking at it in the store unless you're ready to smash some punk in the teeth when he asks you if you were at the last Sneak Attack show, because that pussy wouldn't understand Sneak Attack if they were rocking out in his bedroom at 3am. So do both of you a favor and crush his skull with a Danelectro DD-1 Fab Tone.

Customer Support: N/A


Overall Rating: 9
If you don't get it by now, you probably never will. This pedal is ROCK rolled up into a neat little ball, and the people at Danelectro have been kind enough to let us have a little lick of the rock. This pedal is PUNK ROCK and HARD ROCK and METAL EDGED and everything else that music should be about -- getting loud, getting WILD, and getting chicks. Sometimes I'll take my Fab Tone and just wear it down the front of my pants, because it feels just as good to wear it as it does to play through it. And if anyone tries to give me crap about it, I'll grab 'em by the front of their shirt and tell 'em how they just walked into the jungle...and I'M THE TIGER!

Submitted by Rip Glitter at 01/09/2001 08:19 "
Old 25th June 2009
  #27
Lives for gear
 
norman_nomad's Avatar
lol... I like how he keeps the same themes going between reviews...

"Peavey 5150.

Features: 10
Let get one this straight: the Peavey 5150 is made only for rockers who can handle balls-swallowing METAL ACTION (or AXE-shun). So if you wearing some ****ing backwards red baseball cap and thinking you're gonna be the next Korn Against the Bizkit or whatever the **** you listen to, then you might as well just take that $5,000 Les Paul your uncle gave you and throw it under the tires of whatever pussy-ass sport coupe you're driving, because the 5150 doesn't have TIME for your PUSSY-ASS ****!

See, the people at Peavey were smart, because they put like twenty knobs on the 5150. Anyone who knows how to truly rock knows there's only one knobs that matters -- GAIN. That way, when the salesman sees you plugging in the Mexico-made Fender strat or whatever other pussy-ass guitar you pick off the rack, and he sees you start messing with every knob on the board while you insult the 5150 with your blatantly non-metal licks, he can kick your sorry ass OFF the chair and beat you like the REO Speedwagon fan you probably are, because no one who truly understood the 5150 would waste time with knobs when they could be pumping out some killer Sacrificium tunes on a Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V at top volume.

Sound Quality: 10
You know what I use. SIGNATURE Randy Rhoads Jackson V, downtuned to B, with only my DOD FX-59 THRASHMASTER pedal between it and the 5150 (look up the THRASHMASTER for my other reviews). Yesterday, I took my 5150 over to my friend Dino's house, and he opened it up and disconnected every knob except the GAIN one, and then we busted that knob off so it's permanently stuck at 10, because that's the only number I need to know when it comes to pumping out my hot n' tasty licks with my new side project, LETHALICON, when we hit the stage at the Greenbriar Community Center every Thursday. After Dino and I modded my amp, every time i hit a low B, it sounds like the members of Hierarchical Punish are in my basement, beating the members of Civilization Hatred to death with amplified, unbridled metal brutality. This amp is for PURE, SLUTBANGING METAL, so don't even touch it unless you're ready to proclaim your dedication to annihilation!

Reliability: 10
I always say a good amp is like a good woman -- if it lasts through the first couple beatings, it's yours for life. This baby can take all the kicks and still pump out the hottest licks. Once, when I caught my little brother looking at my Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V, I strapped his head to the 5150 and hung him out the window by his ankles. He kept squirmin' and hollerin' until finally I dropped him, but it was okay, because the 5150 was hooked back up in minutes, and none of the blood or snot stopped it from giving me the hot metal injection I demand. Let me put it this way: the 5150 will treat you better than any girlfriend, because it screams louder, it's easier to pick up, and it shuts up when you take your plug out.

Customer Support: 10
You think I have time to talk to corporate non-rockers about this ****? No ****ing way! Any time I got a problem with anything, my amigo Dino sets me up just fine. Sometimes, I'll call the customer service number, and when they pick up the phone, I'll put the receiver down by my amp and crank out "Fool for the City" by Foghat just to show my appreciation. They're never on the phone when I finish, but I'm sure they like to hear how at least SOME of us know how to use their amps for the prep-smacking ROCK they wanna hear.

Overall Rating: 10
I've been playing long enough to know that this amp kicks more ass and gets more chicks than my band's last bass player. Look, if you're still reading this review, then you obviously have some sort of cranial damage. If you do, that means you probably already own a 5150 and a Signature Randy Rhoads Jackson V, in which case, KEEP ROCKIN'! Because if you didn't already own one of these, by now you should be at Guitar Center, buying your 5150 head and telling them how they need to hold a Guitar Center 5150-a-thon, because it's the only amp that matters anyway.

Submitted by Rip Glitter at 02/16/2001 10:30 "
Old 25th June 2009
  #28
[QUOTE=norman_nomad;4316358]"Peavey 5150.



i think he wrote this one after the jackson v. seems to have lost some steam. still pretty hilarious.
Old 25th June 2009
  #29
Lives for gear
 
audiogeek's Avatar
 

i think i just had a hernia laughing my arse off. that is rich.
Old 25th June 2009
  #30
Lives for gear
 
DontLetMeDrown's Avatar
 

Quote:
...Sometimes I'll take my Fab Tone and just wear it down the front of my pants, because it feels just as good to wear it as it does to play through it...
heh
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