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basically a troll: audiophile outlet covers?
Old 13th November 2007
  #1
Gear Addict
 
underworld's Avatar
 

basically a troll: audiophile outlet covers?

I guess you need something to plug your $11000 power cables (http://www.thecableco.com/product.php?id=2670 see 2m version) into. Why not these:

Machina Dynamica's Tru-Tone Duplex Covers

And if you're having trouble tuning your room ... have you tried "Brilliant Pebbles"?

Brilliant Pebbles

But, perhaps, most disturbing is the "Teleportation Tweak":

Advanced Audio and Video Accessory Tweak Teleportation Telephone Long Distance Upgrade

Man, I really hope this is all a big joke. It's hard to say. I found one writeup that ended this way:

"In other words, Brilliant Pebbles work best when you’re the type of chump who just spent £5000 on a hi-fi, $199 on a clock, £500 on a crocodile clip, £30 on a power cable, and would gladly pay £10 for a punch in the face if you were told it would make your stereo sound better."

Maybe I need to market that last item ...
Old 13th November 2007
  #2
Lives for gear
 
gainstages's Avatar
wow, thanks for sharing this. unbelievable. i'm still trying to decide if this is for real or not,but either way i had a heckuva good laugh out of it.
Old 13th November 2007
  #3
Gear Guru
 
Glenn Kuras's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by gainstages View Post
wow, thanks for sharing this. unbelievable. i'm still trying to decide if this is for real or not,but either way i had a heckuva good laugh out of it.
Here is a nother that just cracks me up. Well pisses me off, but I guess I got to laugh too.

FAST Audio
Old 13th November 2007
  #4
Lives for gear
 
shangoe's Avatar
 

so this BRILLIANT PEBBLES are nothing more like small marmalade glassware with some funny stones in it.. 159 $!!

all you GS-Amateurs better upgrade your studio.....!!!!!!!!


take this:

Brilliant Pebbles is an original concept of Machina Dynamica. Brilliant Pebbles capitalizes on two specific properties of mineral crystals; these properties - vibration absorption and Radio Frequency Interference/Electromagnetic Interference (RFI/EMI) absorption - are the consequence of atomic mechanisms in the crystals' highly symmetrical structures.

and this:

Brilliant Pebbles significantly improves dynamic range and lowers distortion of the audio system. While Large Brilliant Pebbles in only one corner can produce excellent results, a bottle in more than one corner usually produces the best results. Two other excellent locations for the Large size bottle are (1) in front of and to the outside of each speaker and (2) midway between the speakers in the plane formed by the front faces of the speakers. The new Extra-Large size bottle is intended for corners of larger rooms and on top of larger speaker cabinets.


man i dont know what will happen when some audiophile-mofo would dare to talk to me like this..
Old 13th November 2007
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by underworld View Post
I guess you need something to plug your $11000 power cables (http://www.thecableco.com/product.php?id=2670 see 2m version) into. Why not these:

Machina Dynamica's Tru-Tone Duplex Covers

And if you're having trouble tuning your room ... have you tried "Brilliant Pebbles"?

Brilliant Pebbles

But, perhaps, most disturbing is the "Teleportation Tweak":

Advanced Audio and Video Accessory Tweak Teleportation Telephone Long Distance Upgrade

Man, I really hope this is all a big joke. It's hard to say. I found one writeup that ended this way:

"In other words, Brilliant Pebbles work best when you’re the type of chump who just spent £5000 on a hi-fi, $199 on a clock, £500 on a crocodile clip, £30 on a power cable, and would gladly pay £10 for a punch in the face if you were told it would make your stereo sound better."

Maybe I need to market that last item ...
Wow... even for Machina Dynamica, that is really pretty out there... maybe they finally got tired of raking in dough from audiophiles who bought the Clever Little Clock and thought to send a real message.

Who knows if they ever took this stuff seriously -- but I have a pal with a $40k stereo (it sounds pretty good -- but it would sure sound better if he put a couple bucks into treating his pingy, standing wave impacted listening room) who can attest that some audiophiles really do eat this stuff up. He has personally bought ceramic "cable lifters" (to lift them away from the fidelity-destroying interference patterns generated by his nice, hardwood floor!), has thousands tied up in quasi-magical cables and actually entertained the idea of buying a Clever Little Clock at one point.


Mind you, this guy is not stupid -- he's a successful corporate lawyer (graduated very near the top of his class at a very respectable law school) and was even a ham radio fan when he was a kid (receivers but no transmitter -- but his room was festooned with DXL cards from around the globe). But... you know... something happens to these guys when they start reading those fantasy-filled audiophile magazines, I guess. I dunno. Sometimes I just shake my head.

Meanwhile I keep hyping him on the idea of either treating the current room (wife problems, he says) or moving the rig into a dedicated listening room. (He's only got like 4 extra bedrooms.)

But so far he keeps taking the crypto-magical approach...


PS... I notice the Teletransportation Tweak is not covered by their 30 day money-back guarantee...
Old 13th November 2007
  #6
Lives for gear
 
videoteque's Avatar
I don't think the main audiophile products (CD players, amps, speakers) have a higher mark up than pro-audio products...

Magic accesories are bought by the people who merits them, so no pity...
Old 13th November 2007
  #7
Gear Nut
 
AmplitudeAudio's Avatar
 

It's no surprise that the "teleporter tweak" is not covered by their 30-day money back guarantee. They probably don't have enough room to store all the bullsh!t they would have shovel up! What's next:

Flatulence
Abatement and
Retention
Tweak

Basically shove a cork up your butt so your farts won't create subsonic resonances which could impact the "air", soundstage, clarity, dynamic range........

As far as the dfegad"pebbles" go, anything you put in the room can absorb sound and a lot of things can provide RFI/EMI reduction. I would rather have a tall blonde wrapped in aluminum foil (only) provide these treatments than a jar full of rocks. What happens when you really crank it and all those pebbles start to vibrate?

P. T. Barnum was right.
Old 13th November 2007
  #8
I think a tall blonde wrapped in aluminum foil could create other interference patterns... if you know what I mean... (wink wink nudge nudge)
Old 13th November 2007
  #9
Vogon
Guest
Quote:
Originally Posted by theblue1 View Post
Mind you, this guy is not stupid -- he's a successful corporate lawyer (graduated very near the top of his class at a very respectable law school)
FWIW,
I really don't think what we call "intelligence" and stupidity are mutually exclusive. It's all part of the human condition, but people do seem to continually be amazed when someone with impeccable credentials, royally f*cks up. They often do far more damage though.
Politics, science and war itself are littered with cretinous behaviour from the people we think we can trust, but that's a whole different thread. :-)
Old 13th November 2007
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vogon View Post
FWIW,
I really don't think what we call "intelligence" and stupidity are mutually exclusive. It's all part of the human condition, but people do seem to continually be amazed when someone with impeccable credentials, royally f*cks up. They often do far more damage though.
Politics, science and war itself are littered with cretinous behaviour from the people we think we can trust, but that's a whole different thread. :-)
Darn straight!

And I would totally trust this guy with a legal case (and have).

He puts professional rigor into his professional life and I suspect he has made a decision to approach his love of music and tweaky high end stereos on an entirely different plane.

Also... FWIW, he actually sends me links to products he, himself, thinks are outlandish. And brother, when he thinks something is outside... heh
Old 13th November 2007
  #11
Lives for gear
 

As a formerly audiophile inclined type, I will cut a little slack to some tweaks, as I've tried a few things out and will go on record to say that a couple of those isolation footer products honestly surprised me. That being said, that Teleportaton Thing is way 'off the hook' (pun intended). That is friggin' awesome!!

Thanks for the laugh. That is pretty much 'The Ultimate'.
Old 13th November 2007
  #12
Gear Addict
 
RawDepth's Avatar
 

Maybe I'll jump on the band wagon and invent something stupid for audiophiles to buy.

Hmm, let me see now. What if I put wee little vortex stabilizers inside the sub port. This should reduce air turbulence as it exits the speaker port. Thereby minimizing the effective splayed dispersion quotient and vastly improving upon the conjectural coverage sphere.

(Do you think they will buy it?)
Old 13th November 2007
  #13
Vogon
Guest
Quote:
Originally Posted by centurymantra View Post
As a formerly audiophile inclined type, I will cut a little slack to some tweaks, as I've tried a few things out and will go on record to say that a couple of those isolation footer products honestly surprised me. That being said, that Teleportaton Thing is way 'off the hook' (pun intended). That is friggin' awesome!!

Thanks for the laugh. That is pretty much 'The Ultimate'.
Yes, pretty amazing. I know... *some* methods/devices are capable of making an improvement.
I s'pose in music production many people are more aware of the power of (self-) suggestion, and the physics of what makes a "good" sound. Also that any supposed differences would be completely shrouded by the effects of the ****ty listening spaces most of these types enjoy, amongst other things. Yet, they wouldn't take a recording-professional's word for anything.
What amazed me, was that I always thought they were referencing exteremely high quality classical and au-naturel jazz recordings. But a huge amount are listening to pop and rock. All recorded through *miles* of pedestrian cable and probably mixed on NS-10's.
One comprehensive double-blind test I read about showed that a room full of 'phools couldn't tell the difference between a 200 dollar system and a premium one, once the cheap system had been eq'd. They were seriously not-amused when told. My guess is that they generally don't posess a fraction of the ear-training that a 2-years-experience engineer would have.

With the 'phools and relevant specialist-magasines still rejecting double-blind testing methods, accepting patently incorrect, idiotic pseudo-physics and no regulation of any kind possible - imagine where we'll be in 5 years. This is the tip of the iceberg.
Old 13th November 2007
  #14
Vogon
Guest
Quote:
Originally Posted by RawDepth View Post
Maybe I'll jump on the band wagon and invent something stupid for audiophiles to buy.

Hmm, let me see now. What if I put wee little vortex stabilizers inside the sub port. This should reduce air turbulence as it exits the speaker port. Thereby minimizing the effective splayed dispersion quotient and vastly improving upon the conjectural coverage sphere.

(Do you think they will buy it?)
Undoubtedly.
Old 13th November 2007
  #15
Gear Guru
Quote:
Originally Posted by RawDepth View Post
Maybe I'll jump on the band wagon and invent something stupid for audiophiles to buy.

Hmm, let me see now. What if I put wee little vortex stabilizers inside the sub port. This should reduce air turbulence as it exits the speaker port. Thereby minimizing the effective splayed dispersion quotient and vastly improving upon the conjectural coverage sphere.

(Do you think they will buy it?)
If you charge $50? no. If you charge $500? Yes.
Old 13th November 2007
  #16
Lives for gear
 
jeremy.c.'s Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by theblue1 View Post
Who knows if they ever took this stuff seriously -- but I have a pal with a $40k stereo (it sounds pretty good -- but it would sure sound better if he put a couple bucks into treating his pingy, standing wave impacted listening room) who can attest that some audiophiles really do eat this stuff up.

I work with a very intelligent, proefssional guy who has $40K into his system too (complete with $1000 power cords). I'm going to go check it out this week and I am highly interested in what he has for treatment in his room... but he definitely drank the kool-aid, he won't or can't admit he is going for a ride... I guess its similar to guys who buy $100K high performance cars that you can still only drive at 25mph in a school zone. Everyone's got a hobby.
Old 14th November 2007
  #17
Vogon
Guest
Quote:
Originally Posted by olivia_nb View Post
I work with a very intelligent, proefssional guy...

...I guess its similar to guys who buy $100K high performance cars that you can still only drive at 25mph in a school zone. Everyone's got a hobby.
I still maintain that intelligence is not the same as wisdom.

Re: the car.

I'm not so sure, a silver mains cable may cost say, 25 USD to produce. It's then sold at 5k, and has no scientifically proven advantage over a 5 USD cable.
That is to say, using equipment that is an order-of-magnitude more sesitive than a human ear, and may show characteristics that are very obviously way beyond the the sensitivity of human hearing.
The car may have it's snob appeal, but the cable is primarily sold on its performance. You *could* floor the pedal in the car, given the chance.
One could perhaps say that the cable is a celebration of self-(imposed)-deception and ignorance of fact.
Old 14th November 2007
  #18
Gear Maniac
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by RawDepth View Post
Maybe I'll jump on the band wagon and invent something stupid for audiophiles to buy.

Hmm, let me see now. What if I put wee little vortex stabilizers inside the sub port. This should reduce air turbulence as it exits the speaker port. Thereby minimizing the effective splayed dispersion quotient and vastly improving upon the conjectural coverage sphere.

(Do you think they will buy it?)
You forgot to use the word "quantum" so, no they won't buy it.
Old 14th November 2007
  #19
Lives for gear
 
jeremy.c.'s Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vogon View Post
The car may have it's snob appeal, but the cable is primarily sold on its performance. You *could* floor the pedal in the car, given the chance.
One could perhaps say that the cable is a celebration of self-(imposed)-deception and ignorance of fact.
I still say they're both penis compensators...
Old 14th November 2007
  #20
Gear Addict
 
underworld's Avatar
 

so my brother is a professor of music at a few local universities. he sent the guys at machina dynamica this note:

"I teach classes on music technology at an accredited university. I would
like to test some of your products and publish materials on them. I am very
excited about the possibility of seeing and hearing some of your devices. Is
there anyway we might discuss this further? "

And received this reply:

dfegad
"Hello ... thanks for your interest in Machina Dynamica. I respectfully
decline to submit any of our products for testing. "

My brother then followed with this email to me:

"I've got this guy from Machina Dynamics stuck in a pointless e-mail circle.
It's great. I'll have to send it to you once I'm done with his bullsh!t."

So - when I get the goods, I will share the entertainment with all of you!
Old 14th November 2007
  #21
Lives for gear
 
Empire Prod's Avatar
 

LOL! I used to think of myself as somewhat of an audiophile.
Haha I'm such a tool!heh
Old 14th November 2007
  #22
Gear Addict
 
underworld's Avatar
 

As promised ... email thread from Machina Dynamica!

Ok. Here's the e-mail thread I promised you. The only editing I've done is formatting and removal of my brothers name and e-mail address. And, whoever earlier said you need to mention "quantum mechanics"? You, sir, win the grand prize!
thumbsup

ENJOY!

Quote:
Patents too expensive, firthermore I don't wish to reveal certain
information so I don't go that route. Ironically, Much safer not to have
patent in these cases.

The Intelligent Box/Intelligent Card is the evolution of the Intelligent
Chip, which does the same thing as the Box. The box replicates the CD
player laser and gets the active material very close to the CD, one thing
the Intelligent Chip did not do - the Chip was placed on top of the player
chassis while the CD played for 2 seconds. But the effects of the Chip and
the Box are the same. The explanation of the Box is the same as for the
Chip - quantum mechanics - photon interaction with the CD material. It's
all explained in excrutiating detail in my paper on the Intelligent Chip.

Geoff

From: ...
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2007 19:55:59 -0500
To: "'Geoff Kait'" <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

Geoff,

Thanks, the pages on your site helped. None of the writing seems to describe
the mechanisms of your inventions. Do you have the patent number for these
devices so that I might see how exactly they work? I am very interested in
the Intelligent Box and Card. I¹m not seeing exactly what these do, and
especially how they might work. I¹m curious as to what exactly is changed on
a CD to enhance its sound, as a CD on contains data in the form of a dye. Do
you change the dye somehow?

Thanks for all your help!

-----Original Message-----
From: Geoff Kait [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2007 3:59 PM
To: ...
Subject: Re: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

..., my website has many pages; there is navigation at the top of the main
page.

Audio Video Accessories and Tweaks: Vibration Isolation, Resonance Control, Teleportation, Isolation Stand, Clever Little Clock, Crystals


Geoff


From: ...
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2007 12:48:44 -0500
To: "'Geoff Kait'" <[email protected]rizon.net>
Subject: RE: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

I have students that can filter through much of this information. Also,
reading things like this is what I do for a living. I have plenty of time to
read, and if I only spend a single year doing research then I¹m happy. Any
additional material you have would be helpful. Do you have any other
websites?



-----Original Message-----
From: Geoff Kait [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2007 3:30 PM
To: ...
Subject: Re: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

I don't think you realize what you're getting yourself into. There is so
much information available on-line you won't have enough time in a year or
two to thoroughly examine it all, much less come to conclusions on the
effectiveness of these products or how they compare to other products.


There was review of Clever Little Clock in Positive Feedback last year:

clock nespa



I have white paper on Brilliant Pebbles at:

Machina Dynamica White Paper on Brilliant Pebbles



I have paper on Intelligent Chip at:

How the Intelligent Chip Works - Definitive Explanation



Reveiw of Intelligent Box by 2 PhDs at 6 Moons at:

6moons audio reviews: Machina Dynamica Intelligent Box



there was review of Intelligent Chip by 2 PhDs at 6 Moons in Jan 07:

6moons audio reviews: Photon Cannons




From: ...
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2007 12:13:33 -0500
To: "'Geoff Kait'" <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

Ok, I understand. I wanted to perform an in-class comparison of your goods
with other well-known audio products. Additionally, I was going to publish
some materials concerning comparisons between high-end sound technologies.
How can I get information on your data? Have there been any reviews of your
products in magazines or online?



-----Original Message-----
From: Geoff Kait [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2007 9:33 AM
To: ...
Subject: Re: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

... - All testing information is proprietary. Performance data is also
proprietary. All information that we deem relevant is published on Machina
Dynamica's web site.

Regards, Geoff at Machina Dynamica

From: ...
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2007 01:07:20 -0500
To: "'Geoff Kait'" <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

Do you have any publish materials on the testing and performance of your
products?



-----Original Message-----
From: Geoff Kait [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2007 3:54 AM
To:
Subject: Re: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

Hello, ..., thanks for your interest in Machina Dynamica. I respectfully
decline to submit any of our products for testing.

regards, Geoff Kait
Machina Dynamica

From: ...
Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2007 23:51:59 -0500
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

Geoff,

I teach classes on music technology at an accredited university. I would
like to test some of your products and publish materials on them. I am very
excited about the possibility of seeing and hearing some of your devices. Is
there anyway we might discuss this further?
I think this is my favorite quote: "There is so much information available on-line you won't have enough time in a year or two to thoroughly examine it all, much less come to conclusions on the effectiveness of these products or how they compare to other products. "

So - there you have it. In two years time, you could not come to any conclusion on the effectiveness of these products. Now THAT'S marketing ...
Old 14th November 2007
  #23
Gear Guru
Quote:
-----Original Message-----
From: Geoff Kait [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, November 13, 2007 3:54 AM
To:
Subject: Re: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

Hello, ..., thanks for your interest in Machina Dynamica. I respectfully
decline to submit any of our products for testing.
Gosh, there's a surprise.
Old 14th November 2007
  #24
Gear Addict
 
RawDepth's Avatar
 

So, the guy sells over-priced snake oil to over-educated people and everybody is happy.

What's the problem?
Old 14th November 2007
  #25
Gear Addict
 
underworld's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by RawDepth View Post
So, the guy sells over-priced snake oil to over-educated people and everybody is happy.

What's the problem?
I think this page answers that question:

Fraud - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Old 14th November 2007
  #26
Gear Guru
Quote:
The Clever Little Clock is a small, battery-powered travel alarm clock that has been extensively modified using a number of highly-specialized techniques. The Clever Little Clock does not plug into the wall and has no direct or indirect influence on the "audio signal" per se -- not on house wiring, audio components, cables, interconnects, power cords or acoustic waves in the room. Yet the Clock has a pronounced affect on the sound heard by listeners in the room. In addition, any video systems in the house will be improved - the picture will be clearer, with better contrast and color saturation.....

Remove the Clock from its clear bubble pack and place it anywhere in the listening room. The sound will be considerably more musical and live-sounding.....

Price $199 direct from Machina Dynamica
So let me get this straight. I buy this "modified" alarm clock, and just PUT IT IN MY ROOM AND MY HIFI WILL SOUND BETTER?!?!?!?!? Anyone who buys that load of bushwa deserves to be parted from as much of his money as these huxters can get. Somewhere P.T. Barnum is laughing his head off!
Old 14th November 2007
  #27
Gear Addict
 
underworld's Avatar
 

why does my side hurt?

ah ... from laughing so much. here's more great items for the audiofool on your shopping list this season:

Outrageous Audio Equipment Gallery: For Audiophools Only

My personal favorite? The Shakti stone, which ... well ... let's let the creator describe it for you:

"Simply placing Shakti on a component results in music that is clearer and sweeter, with more liquidity, inner detail and focus."

There you have it ... all you engineers looking for more "liquidity" in your signal, just add one of these puppies.

Then again, the Gaku-On Amplifier concerns me a bit since its $252,500 price tag is only the "second-most expensive" they've seen. Are you sh!ttin me? When your 45w amp costs most than most people's house ... something is definitely wrong.
Old 14th November 2007
  #28
jhg
Lives for gear
 
jhg's Avatar
 

yeah, modern snake oil...

I did ask for frequency response info in the past, years ago, but instead, received an explanation that no while no graphs were available, random people talked of a great variety of totally qualitative qualities. Offers of AP and other quantitative testing not-responded-to.

Regards,

jhg
Old 14th November 2007
  #29
Gear Guru
 
FFTT's Avatar
 

It's a well known fact that your room will never sound right without a Lava Lamp!
Old 14th November 2007
  #30
Gear Addict
 
underworld's Avatar
 

Quote:
It's a well known fact that your room will never sound right without a Lava Lamp!
I've heard (from a VERY reputable source) that if you replace the Lava Lamp with a Llama Lamp, and play (any) Nickelback song in reverse, you can bridge the space-time continuum and talk to John Bonham ...

YMMV
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