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basically a troll: audiophile outlet covers? Modular Synthesizers
Old 14th November 2007
  #31
Gear Maniac
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by FFTT View Post
It's a well known fact that your room will never sound right without a Lava Lamp!
You can easily improve your lavalamp with one of my quantum stones on top - only £500 each and adds musicality to the sound.
Old 14th November 2007
  #32
Gear Addict
 
underworld's Avatar
 

Latest thread update!

Here's the latest thread from my brother:

Quote:
From: Geoff Kait [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2007 3:35 AM
To: ...
Subject: Re: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

The Box has a dedicated laser in it (so the box simulates the CD player
"box" and laser). The advantage of the Intelligent Box is that the active
material in the card is inserted into the interior of the Box so the active
ingredient is very close to the laser and the CD, which is placed on top of
the Intelligent Box when treating it. The top of the Box is clear so the CD
is exposed to the photons of the laser and the photons emitted by the card
when the laser strikes it. The active ingredient is contained in a thin
layer spread out in the card's interior, like a sandwich. The simultaneous
interaction of the laser photons and the Card photons with the polycarbonate
layer of the CD improves the *transparency* of the layer so that when the CD
is played the CD player laser "reads" the embedded data more accurately.

The active ingredient in the Card - as for the Chip - is actually artificial
atoms! Pretty innovative for an audio product, wouldn't you say?

From: ...
Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2007 21:06:59 -0500
To: "'Geoff Kait'" <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

Ok, I¹m no quantum physicist, so this was a little confusing. What
specifically does the box do, and what kind of specific sound changes does
this product create? Again, thanks for your help. My students will
appreciate innovations in the audio technology arena.
There you have it ... clean your CD's with artificial atoms. Pretty f&*)ing innovative!
Old 14th November 2007
  #33
Lives for gear
 
Empire Prod's Avatar
 

LMAO!!!heh
Old 14th November 2007
  #34
Lives for gear
 
jeremy.c.'s Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by underworld View Post
clean your CD's with artificial atoms. Pretty f&*)ing innovative!
I'm no quantum physicist either, but I'm pretty sure that made absolutely no sense... wtf?
I'm sending that Outrageous Audio Equipment Gallery link to my coworker... I'll let y'all know if there's any righteous indignation following the link.
Old 14th November 2007
  #35
Hahaha teleportation tweak. better than phone sex. LOL
Old 14th November 2007
  #36
Quote:
Originally Posted by zooloo View Post
You can easily improve your lavalamp with one of my quantum stones on top - only £500 each and adds musicality to the sound.
I got a USB-powered lava lamp and now my DAW is so mellow it never crashes...

ThinkGeek :: USB Mini Lava Lamp
Old 14th November 2007
  #37
Gear Maniac
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondjim View Post
I got a USB-powered lava lamp and now my DAW is so mellow it never crashes...

ThinkGeek :: USB Mini Lava Lamp
So you'd be interested in my special quantum USB cable - I can send it by email or by phone.
Old 14th November 2007
  #38
Gear Maniac
 
Marty J's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by zooloo View Post
So you'd be interested in my special quantum USB cable - I can send it by email or by phone.
Does it not work without you sending it at all? If it doesn't affect stuff I've already listened to, it doesn't sound very quantum to me....
Old 14th November 2007
  #39
Gear Maniac
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marty J View Post
Does it not work without you sending it at all? If it doesn't affect stuff I've already listened to, it doesn't sound very quantum to me....
I've checked our records and see we have indeed already improved your audio experience some months ago. It has enhanced everything you've ever heard since before birth*

That will be £4,562 please. We accept PayPal, please note we can only deal with real cash and quantum teleported cash is not accepted (Too many rip-offs).

* for quantum audio enhancements at sperm level we can provide a special stone on request.
Old 14th November 2007
  #40
Gear Nut
 
AmplitudeAudio's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by underworld View Post
Here's the latest thread from my brother:



There you have it ... clean your CD's with artificial atoms. Pretty f&*)ing innovative!

I wonder if dfegad"Artificial Windex" would clean the polycarbonate layer of the CD better than artificial atoms?

I guess improved optical *transparancy* somehow translates to improved sonic transparancy if you spend the right amount of money. I still want to hear some "improved liquidity" these snake oil peddlers keep raving about.
Old 15th November 2007
  #41
Gear Addict
 
underworld's Avatar
 

The fun continues!

Quote:
-----Original Message-----
From: Geoff Kait [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, November 14, 2007 7:31 PM
To: ...
Subject: Re: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

... - You should be able to purchase items directly from my web site. I
accept Paypal, check or MO. I cannot accept credit cards, however.


The Teleportation tweak is hush, hush as I just introduced this product
fairly recently. I do not provide details about the Teleportation Tweak
other than what I publish on the web site.

The Clever Little Clock is also very mysterious and one of my biggest
sellers.


Geoff


From: ...
Date: Wed, 14 Nov 2007 16:15:05 -0500
To: "'Geoff Kait'" <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Testing Your Products at an Accredited University

I am trying to get funding from the university so that we can buy one (or
more) of your inventions to try. I think this box sounds the most
interesting. However, I was really intrigued by your telephone tweak. As a
phone is not an audio device used in music, it's really outside of my field.
I am curious as to how exactly it works. Regardless, I'll let you know when
I acquire the money for the box. Can I purchase it right from your website?
Who doesn't like a product that's "hush, hush"? Or even - "mysterious"?

I wonder if Jim Williams could use this "technology" to start offering a "Teleportation Tweak" for all our pro audio gear?
Old 15th November 2007
  #42
Gear Guru
Quote:
The Teleportation tweak is hush, hush as I just introduced this product
fairly recently. I do not provide details about the Teleportation Tweak
other than what I publish on the web site.

The Clever Little Clock is also very mysterious and one of my biggest
sellers.

Wow. I mean, WOW! A lot of guys can blow smoke, this guy can blow smoke rings shaped like dollar bills!
Old 15th November 2007
  #43
Gear Guru
 
FFTT's Avatar
 

Of course the newer Lava Lamp re-issues are nothing like the original vintage Lava Lamps when tone really matters.

I have heard that replacing the re-issue power chord with N.O.S. vintage lamp chord
can make a small difference.
Old 15th November 2007
  #44
Lives for gear
 
Empire Prod's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by underworld View Post
Who doesn't like a product that's "hush, hush"? Or even - "mysterious"?

I wonder if Jim Williams could use this "technology" to start offering a "Teleportation Tweak" for all our pro audio gear?
Dude! This thread is more intriguing than a good episode of Lost. Full of mystery and suspense!

heh
Old 15th November 2007
  #45
Gear Addict
 
underworld's Avatar
 

and much like "Lost", it creates more questions than it answers!
Old 27th November 2007
  #46
Old 27th November 2007
  #47
Gear Guru
Quote:
Originally Posted by diamondjim View Post
I got a USB-powered lava lamp and now my DAW is so mellow it never crashes...

ThinkGeek :: USB Mini Lava Lamp
It will sound much better with a vintage, classic, SCSI connection.


But only if you use artificial cables.
Old 27th November 2007
  #48
Gear Nut
 
rdc333's Avatar
 

It's a big world . . .
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