"Citizens of Rock, we refuse to stand idly by any longer," ZZ Top founder and Protectorate High Elder Billy Gibbons said. "When a puss like James Blunt is allowed to rule the airwaves, we must respond by exposing this monster riff, and blowing minds into the stratosphere."
"May God have mercy on our souls for what we are going to set loose upon the world," proclaimed Queen guitarist Brian May, dressed in druidic robes and bathed in the rising blue smoke of a nearby fog machine. "Will it save rock or destroy mankind? We have no way of knowing—yet we have no other choice."
"The Atlantic Records group is already preparing a lawsuit against all who would listen to the track.
A source was quoted as saying: "Unfortunately, DRM did not exist in those days. So we are woried that this riff will be heard without us getting our fair share of the money. We have also invested huge amounts of money in artists like Bloc Party, and James Blunt. And we would hate for them to be revealed as the lame artists.... I mean pathetic corporate puppets...I mean we would hate for them to be unfairly painted as "not-rocking". They are in fat as rocking as Kenny Loggins."