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Tips & Techniques:Ego Preservation - Assigning Blame

The very utmost priority in this business is protecting and preserving your ego. Without it, you will not be able to make music effectively, as reality comes crashing in around you. So wherever you are in the process of making music, be sure to always have someone else to blame for any mediocrity that you may find yourself unable to avoid.

To wit, here are things you can say in a pinch that are almost always inarguable:

* The fans buying this song are losers. If losers buy your music it becomes loser music and no one wants to be associated with it. If the cool people buy your song you will be an international sensation.

* The promotion of the song was a complete failure. With enough promotion anyone will buy anything. The greatest album in the world will be overlooked without great promotion.

* The song needs to be remastered. We can't promote this material because it isn't as loud as what people are used to. They put it on and think it sounds like crap. A louder master will win them over.

* The song needs to be mixed better. If the mix is this bad, all a mastering engineer can do is apply bandaids. A good mix can be mastered in seconds.

* I think you oughtta go back to tracking. If your tracks are good, the mix will be easy. No mixing can fix bad tracks.

* This song failed due to a poor arrangement. If your arrangement is good, the tracks will just come right out of the musicians. No tracking techinque can fix a bad arrangement.

* The song nees to be rewritten. If your song is good, the arrangement will come naturally. No arrangement can fix a bad song.

* I think you oughtta pick a better artist. If you've got a compelling artist, they'll bring home any song for you no matter what you do with it. No song is good enough to survive an uninteresting artist.

This is by far the most important, and most used tip in this entire directory, regardless of what anyone else says.

Contributors: mw, peeder
Created by peeder, 13th January 2008 at 09:39 AM
Last edited by mw, 27th March 2012 at 03:05 PM
Last comment by GuitarRuss on 14th January 2009 at 07:27 PM
4 Comments, 15,929 Views

(4) Comments for: Ego Preservation - Assigning Blame Page Tools Search this Page
Old 26th January 2008
Gear nut
oldgreensock's Avatar

I hope this is a joke

This is hilarious!*
Old 8th February 2008
Lives for gear
Sigma's Avatar

The rule at Sigma was BLAME THE ASSISTANT..the engineer is never to look wrong in the eyes of the client

let me tell you as an assistant i had a lot of bite marks on my tongue from eating someone elses crow
Old 20th August 2008
Gear Guru
u b k's Avatar

i gotta hand it to ya peeder, that was hilarious!

Old 14th January 2009
Lives for gear
GuitarRuss's Avatar

That is fabulous and it even works in a circle, each one feeding the next. It reminds me of a quote: "Circular logic is the best, because it's circular!"

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