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Old 9th January 2012
  #87
Gear Addict
 
monsieur x's Avatar
This song could use some pre-choruses with dynamic contrast. Drop out the drums before the choruses or something perhaps and add fills?

The harmonic rhythm is too confusing, I have a tough singing a melody from memory even though I've just listened to it a few times in a row trying to understand what it's lacking. :/

I know we're not supposed to talk about production, but I want to mention the production is acceptable for a songwriting demo, but perhaps you should strip it all back to drums, chords, and some notes on the piano for just the melodic voice. It sounds like you don't know what the melody should be, very confusing for me as the listener, and your performance also suffers because of it I believe.

Wishing you the best, hope this helps somehow,

Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkheadedbug View Post
Huge props to the Gearslutz Gods for providing this forum!

This is a thread to post rough demos of songs, for critique NOT of production but of composition. So out-of-tune vocals or crappy recordings are totally fine -- this is about the song, not the performance.

Here's a song I just finished but am still noodling on. What I like about it so far is the chordal structure, the way the chorus kicks in, and the way it keeps on modulating. Not sure about the lyrics yet.