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Old 15th June 2020
Gear Addict

Originally Posted by MyHatGuy View Post
For your critical analysis: Here is the basic skeleton of the last song in a cycle about a teenage runaway.

I'm not sure now if I cut out all the kick and snare parts or it is just really poorly mixed (potentially both!) Bass is also a hot mess and the whole thing is a bit on the quite side. I feel like it kind of drags and that I should bring the strings or synth back up for the second verse ("And even after all them . . . ").

Would appreciate it if any Spanish speakers can give the last two verses a listen and let me know how bad I butchered the language. I included the lyrics, which need a nice rewrite, here with what I was shooting for in English. Was I even close and how bad is the pronunciation?
Did you intend it to have the strange timing variations it has? It has some good lyrics, I like the Spanish though I can't help you with that, and wonder if it would be better to just sing your English phrases or sing the English with, as you cut off a lot of folks, including myself, who won't get the best part of the song, the differing opinions of her. At times the music seems inappropriate for the subject too, like you just sort of slapped it together and started embedding the lyrics. It's got potential.