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Old 2nd January 2020
Here for the gear

Thank you for all of your responses. I removed it for now and going to post the finished product when it's done.

To summarize:

- the refrain, 'Throw it all away', seemed to be the part that people liked the most, and it's best to use it sparingly ("too much candy")
- the first half isn't very audible nor as exciting as I imagined it would be... it shall be redone and give it context through the verse
- tone down the delay and reverb on the vocal
- the arrangement and structure could be better

Sometimes I feel that song writing requires Einstein level thinking and I'm falling short, but your suggestions and kind critiques are encouraging me to finish the song.

Originally Posted by Macky View Post
I like it. Immediate response was that it felt like a intro/false half chorus.
This may seem an odd song to reference but the Beatles Help has a short intro which isn't repeated. Same chords as chorus but condensed with different a melody.
So with that in mind, I would try using the first 16 secs as an intro. Then experiment with longer chord intervals in the new chorus and see if a new/similar melody comes up, utilising the 'throw it all away" line.
Failing that, the main vocal line you have now in the chorus, could be treated as backing vocals. Then try out a new main melody that works with it.
Wow! Much appreciated!!! I owe you guys a million, seriously.