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Old 15th November 2019
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A brief guide to new product announcements: Acustica sounds better

Heavy Satire Warning

Are you surprised, tired or amused by how often references to acustica audio
pop up in utterly unrelated new product announcement threads?
Here is a brief guide for the novice GS visitor. Memorise this guide and it
may well save you hundreds of hours wasted reading the actual threads.

This is based on extensive analysis of several years' worth of GS thread data establishing that 99% of responses to new plugin announcements are as follows:

1. New UAD product
Responses --> Lord, it is expensive; the dsp is of little value, just a dongle;
why my coupon expired? i need a new coupon.
Acustica sounds better, why people buy this uad crap anyway?

2. New Slate product
Responses--> I hate ilock. I also hate subscriptions. Slate's style irritates me. By the way where is FG-X 2?.
I am not buying anything Slate until a new FG-X comes out. Until then I am going to stick with acustica which sounds better anyway.

3. New Izotope product
Responses--> Ilock sucks; my other izotope product was renewed recently/
or never. Either way I am pissed. This is too expensive an upgrade.
It is insulting, to us loyal customers, especially since acustica sounds better.

4. New Valhalla dsp product
Responses--> best reverb line ever; best $50 dollars ever spent; Sean
is the most honorable and superior human being and best dsp engineer ever.
Divergent thought: acustica reverbs are the only ones that can match valhalla ones. Now that I think of it more, acustica IS better.

5. New Waves product (before 2017 or so)
Responses--> I hate the waves shell. And why is the plugin so expensive? Acustica sounds better.
Private thought: If only the 100s of Waves-using Grammy winners could switch to acustica, they would all win the Nobel prize. Their loss...

6. New Waves product (after 2017)
Responses--> I hate the Waves update plan and installer. I also despise
all Grammy winners and the other snobs that use Waves. How do they dare
making great music with such inferior tools?
Did you notice that Waves is now dirt cheap?
Surely that proves that Waves finally realised that acustica sounds better.

7. New Acustica product
Responses -Public statements => the best product ever; better than all
algo plugins past and future combined; better than all other nebula libraries and
aquas previously released (or even contemplated). If only the bozos who use
algos knew....
Responses - Inner thoughts => With this new miracle product I have the Grammy in the bag, baby.
If only I could make the installer put it in the right folder, the authorization to work, the computer to not crush, and an ear surgeon to fix my damn eardrum
that went caput from an aqua noise spike.
Oh, well, I can forget the Grammy. Let's face reality: Deep down, we are not worthy of such
superior tech.

...Because acustica sounds better, and you better believe it!