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Old 5th May 2019
  #20
Lives for gear
 
pencilextremist's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dysanfel View Post
Wow, some great perspectives here. It is a shame that this is my best friend since childhood and every topic is fair game, but when I talk about my musical success he just ****s all over me. If the roles were reversed I would be cheering him on!

As of now I just keep the conversation absent of music. But I feel that a major part of my life is off limits, so I end up placating his life and his successes. I love the guy, and I can never just not be his friend. However, I think I must bound the debate and praise his music, his success in life, his family, his newest guitar and gear; but, never speak of anything I do.

I guess I just need to be the better person since I love the him and his family. But, that does not mean I have to subject myself to this regularly.
my own father is like this towards me, he hates my success and compares himself to me, and acts out to other people as though I learnt everything from him, when in fact I learnt most of what I know from private tutors and studying my arse off, it was nothing to do with him, he's a weekend warrior who thinks he's a pro musician, I am an actual pro musician, staying in a relationship with people like this is very bad for your mental health, I was suicidal, you need to get out of it as soon as possible, he's showing signs of being a narcissist, it's called gaslighting, they do it regularly, I had to grow up with it daily, 7 days a week, it will destroy you if you don't end the relationship, they hope you'll play into it.