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Old 2nd May 2019
  #195
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newguy1 View Post
I'm at the "need to refind spark" stage.

Everyone in my life, from parent to lawyer to girlfriend, is saying "just connect that final dot, you're psyching yourself out" which I believe is true. There's no denying I've been spinning wheel about 4 years now, just enough to hang in there but not enough to move forward.

I think its time for a road trip and to put the studio away for a few months.

And yeah, the "observer of your thoughts and feelings" frame is ridiculously powerful in feeling your best, weakening the subconscious's ability to throw you off. From "I'm finding myself angry and worked up about this thing last week" (the subconscious took control of the mind) -> "I see that I'm angry about this thing last week, how interesting, what's that about?" (observing the thought/feeling as a way to take control back from the subconscious) -> "There's no need to be angry right now, I'm going to focus on this instead." And poof, you're in a great headspace. As soon as you go observer, you can feel a compartmentalization happen of the anger or whatever your subconscious threw at you, and then it just drifts away as you identify with the observer of the emotion rather than the emotion itself.

The mind is trip, what a cool hack. The focus exercises I described at the top of this page help strengthen the ability to do this.
I absolutely love the way you express situations... I am at a similar stage as you... coming from a TOTALLY different road... As a self taught 1/2 a_ _ ed musician etc. with images of grandeur, (NEVER LET THEM DIE) and executive producer/songwriter - never getting to that spot. We know that spot well too. In a great vibe - in a great place... just create or co-create HIGH. Trying to release a song that, egotistically, will live up to my impossible standards on all levels... (HELP!) apropos. Now while Toltec ish meditating a strong feeling emotion / force was screaming - drop all the s- - - you are doing... and release (a crazy song I have in the back shelf getting dusty) - THERE is no way I was going to release that first,,,! It is too POP like ... too simple ... too everything & all it has is a simple one instrument partial track. Its based around GLTICH/Artifact AND probably the biggest reason to keep it on the shelf... I WILL GET proverbially crucified... by future wanna be fans and critics... well... after a little thought... and after a lot of thought... tooo much thought! lol its time to freakin do something... and break the log jam and sink the iceberg. I am gonna do what that force expressed to me... and release this song first... I am back to square #2 for the 10 time... but it is so wrong I know it is so right.

When I was a kid in Connecticut I wanted to start a fruit and nut orchard... getting all kinds of seeds and plant through mail order from hard earned dollar and cents. I would map out that orchard in my mind with crazy ideas and adding stuff like a miniature 9 hole golf course running through it. I mapped out the golf course layout and the orchard worked well, but growing the greens and trees were a different story... I could only get a few greens started and most of the trees were not flourishing the way I envisioned. I had read 'Johnny Appleseed' and tried that philosophy. I took hazelnuts and planted them in every possible area and condition I could think off... by that fall most of them died except a few that were planted in the northern part of the orchard up under a patch of wild willow. I planted more... by the next year they were huge... and a few years after that they had nuts... (the hardest tree to grow were flourishing) My crazy project worked out incredible but not until I gave up what I expected to do. I went in with such expectations... old saying - (if you have no expectations - you will never be disappointed in life) I look at the nut seeds as songs... you created, and plant them in enough areas that will allow it to flourish and if its good it will grow into a filbert tee bearing nuts... They biggest thing we can do is to allow its conditions to allow it to flourish. Set the boat afloat and point it out at sea...

I have -0- expectations that this song will do anything... so the upside is I will not be disappointed when or if it fails... and it is only up from there - cheers...