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Old 29th March 2019
I joined the club. Unfortunately.

Hello Dear Members,

Last week I was so excited. I got myself some new software and was working on my new track that was on it's final straight becoming finished. A project that has been under work for a long time. As real pain in the rear.

I've studied mixing, mastering, learning to use my new software and synths. This was the track I really put everything on it. I wanted to evolve. Get at the next stage. I have learned so much creating this track, to protect my hearing I guess.

I have never listened loud. Not louder than what normal speech is, never above 85db. But I did some long hours. Last week I did over 30 hours in 3 days. As I said, I was excited. I've done such days before. Never a problem.

But now...When woke up last saturday. I felt something was off. I had this strange high pitched (over 10k) ringing in my ears. I got Tinnitus.

I've been resting my ears for a week now, but I has not gotten away. I am also very sensitive so certain sounds, like microwave beeps etc. and my ears start to hurt and ring even more if I listen to something, even at very low volumes.

What is still strange is, I can hear 15k sounds. I am 35 years old so that is normal. I am going to get my hearing examined next week, but I guess it's the normal one just reaching 8khz.

But I am so angry at myself. WHY did I have to do such long hours?! Why on earth?! I am really baffled why I got tinnitus now. I've been on clubs, I've been on concerts, never had my ears ringing. Never. I've done long mixing sessions before. Never an issue. Ever.

Oh, I did have sinusitis also during that time. But i've never had tinnitus before.
also i've never had ear pain like this. It's like my ear drum is sore.

Why now?

I was mixing on high frequency area few days. I was EQ:ing synths, hihats and so on. And as I am still learning, it took me some more time than I thought.

But I am still angry. Last year I got 3 tracks released officially, I finally got my spotify account, logo for myself. Things looked great. Maybe I finally could get my "career" started. It's been a dream for me ever since I started back in 2000's.

How on earth am I supposed to cope with this? I went out for a walk, I stopped. I wanted to hear the forest. I couldn't. Not anymore. All I hear is this white-noise/whining.

Doctor said, "there is really nothing we can do".

I even checked the volume levels few days ago. Speakers don't go over 80db. When using headphones I can still hear my own voice and even TV if it's on next room. I have semi-open headphones DT 880 Pro. I've been doing music with them for years.

I did got my new monitor speakers, Adam T5V, last xmas. But what i've read is that monitors are easier for ears than headphones and I only check my mixing levels with them. I don't do mixing all the time with them since they are close to me (ikea malm desk. not much room...)

I am so angry at myself. I've been trying to protect my hearing for my whole life. And done pretty good job with it. Now I am safe at my house and destroy my ears.

I am very worried I cannot do music anymore since my ears start to hurt even if i flush toilet or go into shower. Mixing is most likely out of the question.

But my ears are busted anyway. Music sounds like c..rap. Every music. They sound flat, no energy, a mess.

Anyone else here who have messed up their ears during mixing? I could really need some encouragement.

I don't wish this for even my worst enemy. This is a nightmare. Nights are the worst. I have slept 20 hours in last 4 days.