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Old 20th March 2018
  #5
Lives for gear
 
bgood's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by metalhippyqueen View Post
I have been out for quite sometime. I used to have a small circle of music friends but that quickly fell through when they let me know how they feel about trans people. I live in a small hick town outside of a large city. I play in a metal band with another trans-girl as my vocalist and it's been deemed really hard to make any connections in my local scene. Lately We've been looking for a replacement drummer and we've ran into situations like Interviewing a drummer that turned out to be a skin head. And when I mean skin head I mean posting "Skin head an proud" on Facebook, but at least had the nerve to show interest in my band. What I have a hard time with is connections. When you think you have someone that's cool it turns out to be something like that. We're just trying to make music and all we need a drummer. I had a friend who does audio engineering out in KC tell me something that kind of helped that I need to find "my people" and he didn't mean that by other trans people he meant by a group of people that are cool and want to make music with me. So really my question is, how do I find my people?
I don't think you being trans (or me not being trans) should come into the equation at all... Just find "people" to make music with... If they trip over that, f*** them. I guess I'd suggest looking up their social media before you meet with them, but, that's just a general safety thing.

As a big, corn fed white boy who only cared about "black" music for most of the time when I was coming up, I really got to love walking into some super duper black jazz or r&b/blues joint in a black neighborhood and playing/singing my butt off. The black folks would usually start with a raised eyebrow, but, in the end once I showed I dug the music and cared about playing well and that I wasn't tripping over what they looked like, all was great!

Make it all about the music and try not to inject your own preconceptions or hang ups upon folks until they come at you sideways. For instance, just because some dude is a white power idiot doesn't mean that he's also down on all LGTBQ folks. I mean, I wouldn't hang out or play music with an idiot like that, but, if he was cool and could play AND I couldn't find anyone else I might try to make the best out of it and see if I couldn't get his mind right... Especially in a tiny town