thread: We are one
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Old 27th February 2017
  #5
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jwh1192's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irwinabrigo View Post
Hi guys, I would appreciate some grammatical comments on my lyric below also I would appreciate your feedback about my lyric over all.

This song is about peace. I am hoping to have really great music written to it, as always I do have my melody but will consider someone else melody if it is better than mine.

For those who would want to sing along or play my song with guitar or piano. lay out is:

8 beats per line.



WE ARE ONE
©2015 Irwin Abrigo
-
(1st verse)
People, oh
People, (You are beautiful people)
What would this world turn out to be
If it wasn't for you and me
-
(Chorus)
Beautiful people we are one
We are one under the sun
So we'll unite we'll live as one
Everybody say, WE ARE ONE
You are beautiful people (People!)
You are beautiful people (beautiful people!)
Standing in a crowd (You are beautiful!)
So stand up proud
-
(2nd verse)
People, oh people
Emotions feel
What ever our eyes can see
Is not a dream this world is real
-
(Chorus)
Beautiful people we are one
We are one under the sun
So we'll unite we'll live as one
Everybody say, WE ARE ONE
You are beautiful (People!)
You are beautiful (Beautiful people!)
Standing in a crowd (You are beautiful!)
So stand up proud
-
(Bridge)
for this world we're living in
We're in need of each other so much
We are all human beings
There times when you'll need someone to touch
-
what would this world turn out to be
If it wasn't for you and me
What ever our eyes can see
Is not a dream this world is real
-
(Chorus)
hi,

very nice positive message, we can use those .. not knowing your Melody my suggestion might now work ...

suggestion: 2nd verse , instead of - Is not a dream this world is real .. "Is not a Dream, ...... It is Real" - adding a little more space to add some tension .. you could use the words "This World" as a Ghostly backing vocal - vocoder thingy maybe ..

keep up the writing !!!!!

cheers john