View Single Post
Old 10th November 2015
  #2
Gear Maniac
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by PTCruiser1801 View Post
Are You Proud of Me?
by Paul Timmins

I see the road,
Narrow right before my eyes,
And in the dark,
The fading light is my disguise.

I hear a voice,
That familiar haunting sound,
It follows me,
I know no place it cant be found.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

I stand and wait,
To watch you walking right by me,
You think I'm gone,
My shadow isn't there to see.

I keep the faith,
My will is strong if I believe,
In time I'll know,
What I can and can't achieve.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

Focus now,
You're reflecting your own dreams,
Broken Down,
Everything's not as it seems.

Weary eyes,
They've seen too much but cannot close,
Sunken Heart,
A lier reaps just what he sows.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?
I really like this. The melody is haunting and the lyrics are touching. The breakdown doesn't grab me, I would just write a strong bridge and this would be a winner (just my opinion). The opening line could be stronger, it's probably the most important line in the song. As far as the mix goes, I think the low string are getting in the way of the vocal. All in all, a nice tune!

And never make changes just because of what someone else says. Always go with your gut, your heart and soul. It's your song.
~Bob