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Eulogy to Common Sense
Old 13th September 2002
Lightbulb Eulogy to Common Sense


A bit off topic but...

My friend Sean Harkness sent this to me the other day.
I don't know the origin of this piece but, check it out....

Eulogy to Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the name of Common Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart failure on the brink of the new millennium. No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes, and factories helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no power over Common Sense. He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not the kids), and it's okay to come in second. A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math." But his health declined when he became infected with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of well intentioned but overbearing regulations. He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers. His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented zero-tolerance policies.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parent when a female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, criminals received better treatment than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports. Finally, when a woman, too stupid to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic but was kept informed of developments regarding questionable regulations such as those for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima Whiner.

His funeral was poorly attended because so few realized he was gone......
Old 16th September 2002
There is only one
alphajerk's Avatar

yep, and im not allowed to buy a beer over 6.5% ALC in this state or any state surrounding me. i can buy wine that starts at 12% at the same store though... and i can go to a liquor store and buy up o 90% ALC there.

i also was not allowed to order a medium rare burger today. it HAD to be well done. i couldnt even order medium. it amazes me that laws are passed restricting ME from MY choice instead of passing laws forbidding the unproper handling of meat.... seems to me that is where the problem is. why am i punished for it.
Old 16th September 2002
Lives for gear
DigitMus's Avatar

In the local paper today there was a police report of a 13 year old being arrested and booked on a charge of carrying a butter knife. A teacher at school saw it & called the Sherrifs office, who sent a deputy down to cuff him and haul him off to jail 'til his parents could come get him. He was released in their custody pending trial. A friggin' butter knife!
"Dude! Give me your money or I'll spread something on you!"

I wonder how difficult & expensive it would be to buy an island and start my own country...

Old 16th September 2002
Lives for gear
C.Lambrechts's Avatar

My girlfriend is a social worker - special education teacher. Listening to her talking about 9 year olds gang raping their sisters or mothers forcing their kids to eat ... well .... you don't wanna know .... common sence ???? what's that ??

It's the butter knife that made me think of it ... also an 11 year ol who used a butter knife to .... you don't wanna know.
Old 16th September 2002
Lives for gear
Fibes's Avatar

On the first day of school a second grader was sent home, suspended and put on probation because he brought a GI Joe to school. The GI Joe had a 1" long rifle and that set off the no gun zero tolerance alarm. The parents had the decision turned, but damn...
Old 16th September 2002
There is only one
alphajerk's Avatar

you know the schools will call social services on parents if a kid says "pussy"?
Old 16th September 2002
Lives for gear
Fibes's Avatar

you mean like...
Attached Images
File Type: bmp puss.bmp (100.0 KB, 18924 views)
Old 6th January 2012
Lives for gear
Gary Ladd's Avatar

*Bump* for remembrance...

Old 7th January 2012

I was looking at this thread just yesterday.
It's pretty wild that you bumped it up for us to read again..
Old 7th January 2012
Lives for gear
Howie J's Avatar
I've realized how true this is when I told the same joke to like 5 people in the last 6 months and they all sadly laughed and shook their head...

"You know what they say about common sense right???"

" ain't that common"

Old 7th January 2012
Common sense is, in part, the ability to be self-reflective of our own values and behaviours and how these might be considered from different perspectives...this might even lead to wisdom - a consequence of common sense. For many, myself included, this has come too late in life...and this is a hallmark of human existence.

The absence of common sense is intrinsically linked to the breakdown in communication between generations and a failure of transmission of historically-acquired knowledge. If we do not learn from history then we will be doomed to repeat it.

It is important to guard against moral or cultural relativism particularly in a diverse human culture where novelty can exceed expectations. The anthropologist will look to other cultures, not to project value, but to learn about the values of one's own culture.

Have a great day
Old 7th January 2012
Lives for gear

A great deal of recording technique is, as far as I'm concerned, a matter of common sense.


Or not.
Old 7th January 2012
Lives for gear

Originally Posted by Ozpeter View Post
A great deal of recording technique is, as far as I'm concerned, a matter of common sense.


Or not.
I'm afraid not. Common sense mostly would be, not to think about recording that mediocre musician, maybe also to look for a more reasonable profession or join a monastir or commit suicide if you don't have kids that depend on your income.

Is it common sense to spend time on gearslutz or anywhere in the internet black hole that sucks in valuable time and produces little?
Old 25th August 2019
A eulogy to common sense indeed!
Old 27th August 2019
Lives for gear
boojum's Avatar
Common Sense's death was accompanied by Critical Thinking's departure. Both are remembered with the phrase, "What's wrong with this picture?'
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