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are you happy?
Old 4th September 2002
  #1
There is only one
 
alphajerk's Avatar
 

Thread Starter
are you happy?

what a weird word. and something i have been asking myself lately.

Main Entry: hap·py
Pronunciation: 'ha-pE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): hap·pi·er; -est
Etymology: Middle English, from hap
Date: 14th century
1 : favored by luck or fortune : FORTUNATE
2 : notably fitting, effective, or well adapted : FELICITOUS <a happy choice>
3 a : enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment : JOYOUS b : expressing or suggestive of happiness : PLEASANT c : GLAD, PLEASED d : having or marked by an atmosphere of good fellowship : FRIENDLY
4 a : characterized by a dazed irresponsible state b : impulsively or obsessively quick to use or do something c : enthusiastic about something to the point of obsession : OBSESSED


i wouldnt say im favored by luck or fortune. in fact, i would think that the universe is playing some cruel joke on my regarding luck. dangling it in front of me and then knocking me on my ass. now i am always weary of something that seems to good to be true. it almost always never works out in the end... "The path to hell is paved with least resistance, But those less traveled by shall make a world of difference"

am i well adapted? **** no. notably something, but certainly not fitting.

enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment.... hmmm, is anyone here content? that definition sounds like it was made by the machine. i can even imagine being content. i dont know if this is much of a qualification for happiness. 3b suggests the word in its own definition. who is the genius who thought that one up. then we come to fellowship. am i a good person to hang around? that is a tricky one. im not sure i have the answer to that one. i try to be.

now we get to the fun ones. [4 a : characterized by a dazed irresponsible state] im damn happy. [b : impulsively or obsessively quick to use or do something] well this would mean im real happy but this one tends to get me in trouble and make me not very happy. [c : enthusiastic about something to the point of obsession] this one is the kicker... the one that drives me through life. and i honestly dont know why. i will devour endless amount of hours learning every little detail i can about recording. an endless consumer of gear, techniques, philisophies all about recording.

was i born this way? this recording OCD is just a little frightening. just adding up the small worth in MY little studio is enough to send my kid to college, or take a vacation every 6 months until i retire. i havent had a vacation since i went to Jamaica almost 5 years ago. and my marriage is quite unstable right now. not because of the actual act of recording or being in the studio... she is quite understanding of all of that. i think she even thinks its kinda cool. BUT the sheer amount of money it takes to do a studio RIGHT is a small fortune. and with my taste in music it will be quite rare if i were to ever hit the "jackpot".

obsession. nasty little word. it could possibly ruin me. sonic obsession. my quests for capturing sounds. my life could be so much more content if i didnt have this inate drive in this pursuit of recording. i would have so much more money, i would have so much more time for my family, i would have so much more money to explore the world. music has almost become trivial these days anyway. its been a while since i was floored by anything.

so why do i do it?
i wouldnt be happy.


addiction is an ugly thing. are you happy?

Old 4th September 2002
  #2
After 2 and a half year with the blues about an ex girlfriend, I have recently snapped myself out of it and hooked up with a girl at the Reading Rock festival and we are starting to ...... sort of date. First base feels good after nearly 3 years on the bench!

Not drinking or taking drugs for 7 years make euphoria er.... rare & highly prized.. uh....

Having designed various contracts with a lawyer, I feel more at ease that if a jackpot band DOES come in. I wont be bummed if they 'make it big' (I reccomend this highly Alpha) If 'relaxed' leads to happy, I am 'relaxed' more because of this...

I am getting to upgrading gear, by trading **** in... I feel this healthier than just buying more.

My gear buying has slowed down somewhat. I feel my gear buying may have been somewhat financially reckless up to this point, I am trying to keep it in check.

I have all I need to record a band. That is bottom line. THIS makes me very happy. I feel I am VERY fortunate in that respect.

Generally happy? Not too bad. As Pete Towndsend once said re emerging from his wild and damaging oblivion seeking days "I learned that not EVERY day had to be the best most AMAZING day ever"

Balance is the key, I attempt to get close to a balance during my instictive meander through life but more often than not, I very far away from it indeed.

Alpha you will make a Buddist of me yet!

Take care, keep an even keel, dont falter.
Old 4th September 2002
  #3
Lives for gear
 
C.Lambrechts's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally posted by Jules
After 2 and a half year with the blues about an ex girlfriend, I have recently snapped myself out of it and hooked up with a girl at the Reading Rock festival and we are starting to ...... sort of date. First base feels good after nearly 3 years on the bench!
How are batting skills after 3 years ??? heh
Old 4th September 2002
  #4
Lives for gear
 
C.Lambrechts's Avatar
 

for myself .... am I happy ???


BIG family tragedy about 6 years ago dragged me into the dark ages of life.

Became the most extreme form of workaholic .... lost track of everything in life except my work.


It took me more then 4 years untill one night I started talking to this complete stranger on the internet. I did that night what I had forgotten to do .... communicate with the outside world.

Today I am happily divorced .... and I mean that in it's most pure sence. My ex and I had a very good divorce .... in complete understanding for each other. Focussing on the one thing that's important. Our 2 boys. We get along fine and keep working to keep it that way. It isn't easy to be happily divorced but we told ourselves that it can be done. Rather have the boys see their parents get along fine living apart then having them fighting all the time living together was the motive behind the divorce.

That stranger on the internet has now become my Girlfriend. She's moving to Belgium in January.


Am I happy .... except for loosing my mom in that big tragedy and wanting to do very nasty things to the guy who is to blame for pulling the trigger ..... yes .... I am very happy now.

Still in search for the perfect balance between work and personal life at times .... but yes .... I wake up feeling good these days ... thank you.
Old 4th September 2002
  #5
Gear addict
 
cymatics's Avatar
 

Re: are you happy?

Quote:
Originally posted by alphajerk
1 : favored by luck or fortune : FORTUNATE
I know a guy who when asked "How you doin Eddie?" will usually answer, "Well I'm not on fire so I guess I'm doin' okay" While this may be a limited outlook on what constitutes happiness, it illustrates a key component in my perception of happiness; the expression of gratitude. It is too easy to let the ****ty things in life drag you down. I struggle with it constantly. The only remedy I know of is to stop to consider what it is in life that you have to be grateful for. Eddie's point is that if you can't think of a single thing to be grateful for, be grateful you're not on fire and start from there.
Quote:
4 c : enthusiastic about something to the point of obsession : OBSESSED
I never would have guessed that this is a meaning for the word 'happy'. In the case of this meaning, I am clearly happy. My father is a workaholic, raised by a workaholic. I never felt the fire inside me to work like my father until I begin exploring recording. It is truly my passion in life. I can spend a 12 hour day in the studio and never wish I was somewhere else. I spend 4 hours at my day job and I need a nap. If I were able to make recording my day job, it would be like pulling off the biggest scam ever.

While there certainly are things I would change about my life, I consider myself fortunate for what I do have.

By virtue of being both fortunate and obsessed, I guess I am by definition happy.

BTW, nice Clutch reference Alpha

- jon
Old 4th September 2002
  #6
Gear maniac
 
cram's Avatar
 

HmmmmAhhhhh...

Is being blissfully happy a good thing? Is it really what I want or need?

That said, I am VERY happy.

I'm at good point in my life, I'm at a good point in my marriage, my studio is doing well, I have interests other than music, I'm learning a new instrument, my job is cake, I just got a dog fer chrissake!

Here is the kicker, because I'm so happy, my creative juices are the consistency of tar. I have to fight tooth and nail to eke out anything musically worthwhile. It used to be a endless flow, now its a drizzle. A battery works on both positive and negative, and right now I've got an overabundance of positive. I hate to complain, how CAN I complain?

I find myself subconciously doing things to screw it up, just to have some friction. How psychotic is that? I used to head butt my way through problems with relish, but what do you do when you have licked all the problems?

To add to the confusion, I'm not bored. In fact, I'm busier than I've ever been in my entire life. I really enjoy this busy yet pastoral period that I'm in. But it is almost as if I feel guilty. I keep expecting somebody to show up and tell me its all been a big mistake and I've been living someone else's life. I worked my ass off to get where I am, and now that I'm here I don't know how to just...Be.
Old 5th September 2002
  #7
Gear nut
 
Crushed's Avatar
 

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy? I guess so. Got a cool job teaching high school. Buy a new piece of gear once in awhile. Got my first child coming in February. My wife is gorgeous & round.:eek:

I totally know where aj is comin from on that OCD thing about sound, gear, music obsession. Yeah, my wife thinks it's cool that I make/record music, but sometimes my sheer devotion to music leaves her out in the cold. I'll sit for hours reading trade mags, internet newsgroups, and that's not even including the time I spend tracking, mixing, burning, etc., etc.

The wife starts to get lonely. Not only that, but when I obsess over this **** to that extent, I can't sleep well at night, I feel generally more stress, and I neglect other important things in my life.

Yeah Barrett, I'm in the same boat, it's just that my wife hasn't decided to dump me yet. . .she's needy.heh
Old 5th September 2002
  #8
Lives for gear
 
Knox's Avatar
 

Alpha . . When I was young . . . I used to think this business was WHO I was . . . not that I was a human being with MANY parts . . . that happened to be IN this business. What the **** was I running from?

EVERYTHING revolved around this business . . . . EVERYTHING! I realized after getting straight (clean) that there are / were many other parts of me then just this business, as well as many parts of this world and universe.

I was obsessed with many things at the time . . drugs and alcohol, studio gear, on and on. I looked up the word obsession one day after I was clean, and it said an obsession is a "thought that over rides all other thoughts"

Man, that hit home . . . in other words, it (a thought) was controling me, not me controling it (life). I put other things in priority and it made my recording work better. If you hold on too tight to something you will squish the **** out of it. I lost my wife and everything else before I "GOT" it

Yea we have to work hard as hell . . . but we have to live too. I read somewhere early on . . "happiness is not about having what you want but wanting what you have" . . ****, at the time i couldn't see that . . I do now.
Old 5th September 2002
  #9
There is only one
 
alphajerk's Avatar
 

Thread Starter
from www.m-w.com

Main Entry: ob·ses·sion
Pronunciation: äb-'se-sh&n, &b-
Function: noun
Date: 1680
1 : a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling; broadly : compelling motivation
2 : something that causes an obsession


from www.dictionary.com

ob·ses·sion Pronunciation Key (b-sshn, b-)
n.
Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.
A compulsive, often unreasonable idea or emotion.



i feel sometimes that i didnt pick to make recording my lifes work. it picked me. i could easily do about any other field... possibly make a lot more money, and have. i do animation as well, but i am not consumed by it, in fact i really dont like doing it. i could possibly be consumed with doing video as well. has similar characteristics of music... but the business side doesnt seem to be as ****ed up as the recording business [not the ACTUAL recording biz... but the music biz] i find MANY good movies done very well... even the cheesiest most commercial ventures arent nearly as bad as the commercial ventures of the music business. maybe thats just the way i see it... i do find the unions in the film industry to be fairly ******** and pointless [aside from ensuring pay]... could you imagine the recording industry working like this? nope, cant move that power cable. cant move that mic... gotta get that union slacky to do it.
Old 5th September 2002
  #10
Lives for gear
 
e-cue's Avatar
 

I'm very happy. But not gay.
Old 6th September 2002
  #11
modmusic
Guest
Yes, an interesting question. I am happy. In the grateful way explained above. I love being an engineer and I am happy to do it. Sure owning your own business has its ups and downs (especially no guaranteed paycheck) but it beats working at Burger King. I had some of the same feelings you did Alph a few years back and the same marital dismay. I stopped spending money on the studio and I quit getting high and drinking too much. Now I do my best work and my head is clear and I can easily see my goals each day. My wife is very happy that I am bailing us out of debt and not incurring more and even more happy that she is talking to her husband and not a giddy zombie. I just had our first child (as you remember) and she is absolutely wonderful. Still, I am not perfect and I think we always have things that bother us to keep improving ourselves. Things are great right now even though the economy is tough and I can't buy all the wonderful toys I see. My recordings are actually constantly improving even though I haven't bought anything new because I am focusing on improving my technique not my mic locker. I hope this might give you some insight. You love what you do and I hope you keep on loving it.

pat
mmm
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