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Strange things we do for money Ribbon Microphones
Old 21st August 2002
  #1
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Strange things we do for money

I spent a few hours yesterday editing music for a figure skater (apparently there's an amateur category for senior skaters - my client is in her 50's). Anyway, I did one piece combining a Telarc recording of Maleguana and something from the Zorro sountrack, shortened the Sugar Plum Fairy from the Nutcracker Suite, and managed to shorten a four and a half minute song from the Victor Victoria soundtrack to 1:35 for her. Fairly easy money - load the original into Pro Tools, find the edit points, remove the excess material, and smooth it all together. And then L1 the crap out of it, so you whole piece is audible in a hockey rink. (Apparently the rules are that the music has to be played from a cassette in competition - I gave her CD's...)

Anyone have any work that they do that makes some money but aren't what you thought working in a studio would be like when you started?
Old 21st August 2002
  #2
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Took some 1/2" 2 track stuff recording the voices and family interactions of a group of kids from birth to young teen ages...tracked into Samplitude as several mono wavs to avoid one really long one (tape was 1 hr 30 minutes), cleaned it up a bit with noise reduction, and put it onto CD...

A gift from a client to his parents, and a damn thoughtful one I believe...I did feel somewhat like an intruder listening to recordings of a family's interaction with their children, though
Old 21st August 2002
  #3
Don't get me started on my location porno audio work!
grggt
Old 21st August 2002
  #4
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Rapper's voice mail message.
Old 22nd August 2002
  #5
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audiogeek1's Avatar
 

I have also done ice skating tapes but mine were for kids programs. The coach was Tanya Hardings coach when she was young and before she was a complete thug. Other things have included belly dance routine music. (kind of difficult sometimes because I can only count to 4)grggt .

Also I get alot of calls for kareoke(spelling?) type stuff that I just won't do.

I also never thought I would be in a prayer circle in the studio before either. go figure.



Mike
Old 22nd August 2002
  #6
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Talking WOULD BE A LONG LIST !

E CUE !! Thas at least got rap in the sentance!

going wooo woo wooo alot and tracking myself to be a tribe of red indians on a sacred spirit album ?

declicking bugs 4 spys?

music 4 childrens books?

running the bathroon tap 4 an hour for a babbling brook
*blush* i know but a grand just to run your tap? what could i say ??

tho i have to say the strangest moments always involve my amazment at the artists records companys seem to love throwing money at...

rollz

jules !!! location ?? no way !!
i had a friend used to do that ...and the phone lines...
Old 22nd August 2002
  #7
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Re: WOULD BE A LONG LIST !

Quote:
Originally posted by vsl666
E CUE !! Thas at least got rap in the sentance!
"Aye yo,
My name is E-to the Cue (the names have been changed to protect in innocent) and I can't get the PHONE, So leave ya name and number and I'll call you when I'm HOME (I know, it doesn't rhyme), If I don't call ya later then try to call me BACK or I'll break 1-8-7 on tha mutha****in' assssss, Be-yatch"

worst hour (yes, HOUR) of my life.

Btw: VSL, you mean "sentence" right? See, you got this hip hop lingo down dawg...
Old 22nd August 2002
  #8
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Unhappy hour

madd
at least your worst moment only took an hour

*sob*
Old 22nd August 2002
  #9
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Yeah, but that doesn't account for the 6 hours I spent in the shower yelling "CAN'T GET CLEAAAANNNNNNN, FEEEELLLLLLL SOOOO DIRTYYYYYYYYYYYY"
Old 22nd August 2002
  #10
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The weirdest & heaviest stuff I've done is duplication and forensic for lawyers. I've heard everything from soon to be ex-husbands and wives arguing on the phone to murder confessions.
Old 22nd August 2002
  #11
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I just did a video voiceover session today where it took the "talent" 2 hours to record 7 MUNITES OF COPY!!!

at one point the producer ( a buddy of mine ) jokingly said <" hey steve, do you just want to do it?" ( over the cans no less) at whickpoint I did actually read a full paragraph flawlessly on the fly ( amazing for me, i speak like i type in those settings) the "talent was just silent for like 2 munites.. so now I have a new worst, I have to edit the 2 hours of outtakes into that 7 min... :(
Old 22nd August 2002
  #12
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About 1981, Houston, Texas.

I recorded a:

Catholic Missionary Contemporary Christian show band from Vietnam, complete with Vietnamese priest chaperone in attendance.

About a 13 piece band, IIRC. Yes, they were all Vietnamese and yes, it was all in Vietnamese.

Three things stand out, even 20+ years later.

1. First HUGE rule. No two studio employees allowed in the control room at the same time. Because there was no way to keep from laughing if you made eye contact. The music was that bad.

2. The band was a mixture of traditional Vietnamese instruments and Western instruments including piano, bass, drums, guitar, horn section.....the works. Unfortunately, the band seemed to be blissfully unaware that their indigenous 14 tone scale (as near as I could tell) and our Western 12 tone scale did not play well together.

Man, the singer(s) would grab a really ugly quarter tone, drill it to the wall and just hang there like it was a good idea. My God, the sonic horror still scars me.

3. This won't translate as well in print as in person, but they had this one really goofy song that had a rubato intro/verse, that paused (for effect), then went into some sort of slo-mo country 2-step sounding thing. Seemed like it was probably a story song. Like the Chuckwagon Gang on acid or bad mushrooms. Keep in mind the quarter tones. It was already funny, but when I looked over at the chart, the title was (I swear) "Dang Me".

I don't know what that means in Vietnamese. But I literally had to leave the C.R. until I regained my composure.

Really sweet people, though.


Regards,
Brian T
Old 22nd August 2002
  #13
Yesterday a trash for cash client came in. He saves up, then books time, he is chipping away at an album (not just 3 tracks as I was lead to belive!) I am regretting embarking on the project. It was always "trash for cash' and typically, now that I find myself slightly over run with peachy hip projects, I wish he weren't knocking on my door, (at all) worse still, he rufuses to be fobbed off to a good chum of mine down the road with a DAW in his living room, who has the time to give him the care and attention he deserves.

Anyhow.... He startled me and my asisitant yesterday by suddenly without warning, playing a 'new one' with his accoustic in the control room. Like all of his songs it was pretty minor laden and dreary, but when he got to his often used lyric "for the children" ( - WHAT CHILDREN?) I started to lose it, and I paniced, how was not going to burst out laughing???? Fortunately my assistant knoticed my tightening lip and was struggling himself... for self preservation, he wisely didnt make eye contact with me.

I can now thank my lucky stars for having purchased dual flatscreens for my DAW, they are ideal for hiding behind when laughing at someone out in the live area doing a take.

I swear, It is rare for me to laugh AT artists, and I am doing all in my power to provide a decent service for him...So help me God!
Old 22nd August 2002
  #14
Gear Nut
 

Quote:
Originally posted by Steve Smith
I just did a video voiceover session today where it took the "talent" 2 hours to record 7 MUNITES OF COPY!!!

at one point the producer ( a buddy of mine ) jokingly said <" hey steve, do you just want to do it?" ( over the cans no less) at whickpoint I did actually read a full paragraph flawlessly on the fly ( amazing for me, i speak like i type in those settings) the "talent was just silent for like 2 munites.. so now I have a new worst, I have to edit the 2 hours of outtakes into that 7 min... :(
In my twisted world that doesn't sound too bad. I've had ad "executives" take longer than that to decide how they want the TAG for a :15 spot to be read. So...it can be worse. Of course, I have a singular distaste for the minions of the dark lord we call advertising people anyway...

-Moze
Old 22nd August 2002
  #15
"advertising people"

Satanists all.

madd
Old 22nd August 2002
  #16
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Composure reggained. I am realizxing that wit some distance between me and yesterday, the luve record I just did was worse...

It wasn't the length if time for the voiceover, it was that the "talent" couldn't do two correct scentences in a row... forget about being pedantic, this person could not read aloud.....

Today i start a T4C record, at least it can noew be cool in comparison.....
Old 22nd August 2002
  #17
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jules
"advertising people"

Satanists all.

madd
Ditto. I did a full on 68 choir for a cocacola ad. The VP's mother just happened to be in town. Her words exactly "I think we should change 'Have a Coke and Enjoy' to 'Have a Coke and spread joy'". "You DO realise we'll have to re do this entire process, and change things that the advertising board to months to approve?" says WillyShow. "Well, I took french horn lessons when I was in grade school, so I know what I'm talking about".

We tried punching in the line the next day, but that never works, especially since we had less than 60 people, and many of them subs. Two weeks later I get the call "They've decided to go with the original version" from Willy. I vowed that day to NEVER to do ad crap again. (unless I'm workin' with a producer I'm good buds with)
Old 22nd August 2002
  #18
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Stizz's Avatar
Great thread!!! I will have to think awhile about this one Besides the already stated legal forensics and advertising nightmares (158 takes for a :30 spot is my record - we used most of take 4), what comes to mind most recently are editing several pop songs into a 60 second medley for a cheerleading competition while adding sound effects for accent points...

Also have had some interesting sessions like James Brown doing nothing but his signature grunts, shouts and squeals for a TV commercial, and a record session several years ago where George Clinton was doing vocals, and the playback was probably 60% distortion! it was absolutely garbage - turns out the card on the 24-track machine was not seated completely) - Well GC thought it was the best sound he had ever heard, and used the take as recorded!
Old 23rd August 2002
  #19
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You know...most horrible sessions usually contain this line somwhere...usually around 4am after 20 hours of overdubs:

"Let's try a B3 part..."

OR

"This could really use a 12-string..."

Maybe it's just me...

-Moze
Old 23rd August 2002
  #20
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vsl666's Avatar
 

Talking

advertising satanists..no there not mine,,

divorce tapes?? wow ..re vietnam..thats very funny!!
i did a japanese 14 piece jazz funk outfit once!
they spoke no english..not a bit.. one of them lived in a monestary
and had been let out for a few months,,he was on
40 malboro a day and drinking heavly ..but had give up
when he got home..

re clinton distorted...that might even be considered a hi point!
Old 23rd August 2002
  #21
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It's difficult to decide. So many nights spent being embarrassed for others when they didn't have sense enough to be embarrassed for themselves. I think I'll contribute my favorite new age session.
A couple came in that published new age spiritual guidance tapes. They wanted to make a recording of her channeling the spirit of the ancient babylonian warrior she communicated with in the after world. "Ok, if you do it, I can record it." She sat meditating in the middle of the tracking room and began speaking in what appeared to be an Irish falsetto. It was difficult to tell if she was supposed to be an ancient baylonian warrior, or had simply regressed herself to the age of three, and returned to the shores of the old country, although I think she was from Jersey. Anyway, this went on for about 45 minutes, whereupon she returned to her normal speaking voice and thanked the spirit for visiting with us. She then asked me, "How was that?" Apparently, I was somewhat possessed by that time as I couldn't contain myself from blurting out "We had some background noise, could we take that again?" Not missing a beat, she sat back down and channeled the full forty-five minute performance over again for take two. What a pro.
Old 24th August 2002
  #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jules
Don't get me started on my location porno audio work!
grggt

what do you charge .... been thinking of getting into that kinda stuff myself.
Old 24th August 2002
  #23
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Never mind what you charge for porno...how do you keep the equipment dry?tut
Old 27th August 2002
  #24
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I've done a few r2r or cassette to CD things. The most "amusing" one was from a local stoner guitarist. He goes by Larry Mondello. He's in his 40s and lives with his Mom. He gets high and "jams" a lot. He brought me a cassette (no case or lable) entiled "Not all Librarians are Lesbians." He tells me that it's about 20 minutes long and that I should stop the CD "when it starts to not sound professional." I almost pissed myself at that one. I wanted to hand it back to him right then. I took it home and recorded the whole side of the cassette onto a CD and told him to play it and tell me at what number I should edit it to. There was no way I was actually listening to this crap! He never got back to me...I guess it's all genius!heh
Old 27th August 2002
  #25
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I do ad stuff all the time so that insanity actually seems normal to me now...

However, once I edited Sting's "One World is Enough" for a dance troupe. My instructions were: "it needs to be about 2.5 minutes long... but it's Jazz so you can just cut it anywhere". The dancer/producer stood behind me the entire time saying "ONE, 2, THREE, 4, FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT!"... I asked her to stop so I could listen for the edit points. She pouted, then went in the corner, stood on her head and recited Buddist chant. Luckily, the chanting was easier to edit to!
Old 27th August 2002
  #26
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...and to think I thought they only did that in San Francisco...
Old 27th August 2002
  #27
Don
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Quote:
Originally posted by Drumsound
I've done a few r2r or cassette to CD things. The most "amusing" one was from a local stoner guitarist. He goes by Larry Mondello. He's in his 40s and lives with his Mom. He gets high and "jams" a lot. He brought me a cassette (no case or lable) entiled "Not all Librarians are Lesbians." He tells me that it's about 20 minutes long and that I should stop the CD "when it starts to not sound professional." I almost pissed myself at that one. I wanted to hand it back to him right then. I took it home and recorded the whole side of the cassette onto a CD and told him to play it and tell me at what number I should edit it to. There was no way I was actually listening to this crap! He never got back to me...I guess it's all genius!heh


ROTFLMAO!!
Old 28th August 2002
  #28
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Hey Dave...how about this...I used to BE a figure skater when I was kid.Back then our "programs" as they call 'em were mastering laquers.
Old 29th August 2002
  #29
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recorderman's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally posted by Dave Martin


Cool! I bet when the record skipped during competition, things got interesting...
hmm...funny that never happened. they usual had some "hi-fi" turntables, not the little sear job with the turntable that folded down and the hinged speakers on the side (that was my "boom-box" growing up)
Old 29th August 2002
  #30
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dave Martin


Cool! I bet when the record skipped during competition, things got interesting...
Ahhh, the remix is born...
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