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-   -   Alcohol no longer working for problems. (https://www.gearslutz.com/board/the-moan-zone/1289892-alcohol-no-longer-working-problems.html)

Jaybird 2nd December 2019 12:58 AM

Alcohol no longer working for problems.
 
Never seen this coming,

Im dealing with a business partner who developed overnight schizophrenia and Dementia,

IV been using alcohol and drugs to mask the drama and well now the darn alcohol is making me sick every day.
Just fuk,

Today I was going to try a juice fast by my friend got in an argument with the laundry pile and so I started drinking, a little.

I have no mental illness or alcoholism but its becoming a crutch that I cant live with out...now and cant live with it either. yingyang The worst thing is when talking to a crazy person it tends to unravel my brain until im near mental.

After making a 5 coerce (Vegan dinner) for thanksgiving last night my friend got dressed and put his coat on and took his keys and said thanks for a great dinner, he went outside then came back in after wondering around and he thought he drove home and asked how my day was.

Hell this is the moan zone I dont have anyplace else to vent this other then the whiskey bar,

:facepalm:

Desire Inspires 2nd December 2019 03:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaybird (Post 14357432)
Never seen this coming,

Im dealing with a business partner who developed overnight schizophrenia and Dementia,


That does not make sense.

I suggest you get help for yourself instead of focusing on your business partner. You have to stop making excuses and get to the root of your own failures. It may be difficult, but it will be beneficial in the end.

God Speed to you, mi amigo!

kfhkh

Jaybird 2nd December 2019 03:41 AM

So where do 50 year old guys go with $40K in keyboards, Im already sure the business is totally lost.

Buy a boat in Seattle and make pizza?

Teej 2nd December 2019 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaybird (Post 14357432)
I have no mental illness or alcoholism but its becoming a crutch that I cant live with out...now and cant live with it either. yingyang The worst thing is when talking to a crazy person it tends to unravel my brain until im near mental.

If you can't live without it and you can't live with it sure sounds like alcoholism. Not knowing you personally it would be irresponsible to recommend any specific course of action, I can only suggest you seek help.

If you're lost in life and don't know what to do, drinking will only further confuse and drag you down. I have been sober for just under a year and the clarity is a big reward. I wasn't a hardcore alcoholic but a three day hangover during which I actually had things to do convinced me enough was enough.

The first step and hardest step is admitting there's a problem which you were willing to do having posted this thread. It must be painful dealing with your friend but the alcohol will only confuse the situation even more. I wish you the best of luck.

HerbDelux 2nd December 2019 06:50 PM

Hey Man,

The first week and a half of sobriety is going to suck. You’re going to literally feel like the world is collapsing on you. You’re going to have anxiety attacks. You won’t be able to sleep properly...

But after that week and a half it GETS A LOT EASIER. Try sobriety for a couple of weeks, and after 1.5-2 weeks you’ll feel like a new man.

The liquor makes you think its your friend, but its a lying sonofabitch and it doesn’t care about you.

Good luck friend!

mattiasnyc 2nd December 2019 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaybird (Post 14357647)
So where do 50 year old guys go with $40K in keyboards, Im already sure the business is totally lost.

Buy a boat in Seattle and make pizza?

lol.. that's pretty funny!

If I were you I'd extract myself from that business as soon as possible. It's nice to be a good person and try to help the other fella out, but you're no good to him if you're getting dragged down with him. If you can't do without alcohol it's time to quit that posthaste.

While dealing with all of this you could maybe try exercise as a new 'drug'. Once you get into it you get a different high, and if you pick the type that's right for you it's also a great distraction. And you'll likely sleep better etc.

Either way, get off the sauce if you're voicing this concern. And get out of the business relationship as best you can.



PS: "After making a 5 coerce (Vegan dinner)"
lol... & "true"...

theblue1 2nd December 2019 08:09 PM

I was an enthusiastic, daily drinker for about two decades. But the charm war off.

I had been afraid of what life might be like without alcohol. But it was becoming clear that life with alcohol wasn't really much fun anymore, either. (25 years, now.)

I didn't do 'the program' -- but I already knew a lot of the techniques because many of my friends were in AA or NA. But I WOULD do the program if I thought there was a chance I might start feeling like I needed a drink. It's not perfect, no volunteer human enterprise can be, but 12 step discipline and peer counselling has helped a lot of folks. It's got a lot to offer, even for those who don't normally consider themselves 'joiners.'

You're lucky, in the sense that the motivation for not wanting to drink is coming from you, yourself. I think a lot of drinkers -- I know I did -- develop a kind of 'deafness' when GFs and pals comment on their drinking. It wasn't like I didn't know exactly what they were saying. I just didn't want to deal with it.

As was wisely noted above, it really sounds like you need to take care of yourself, first. You can't 'fix' someone else. (And if your thumbnail diagnosis of your friend is correct, it's not something you're likely to have much effect on -- and even less likely, if you, yourself, are currently 'self-medicating.')

Good luck and good healing to you... it's a long path... but so is life.

Jaybird 3rd December 2019 01:21 AM

thanks some good advice and no I cant help or treat dementia and adult onset schizophrenia. all I can do is cook and pay bills,
Im not even good, perfect person so being with a toxic individual who is for sure diagnosed as cognitive decline just sets my buttons off and brings me to a near homeless situation.

My life is a total mess but iv not screwed over family, messed up kids, wife, co workers with my drinking.
I was also debt free December 1st, rockout

Desire Inspires 3rd December 2019 03:47 AM

Seek help.


Bushman 3rd December 2019 04:24 AM

“Alcohol no longer working for problems” on a T-shirt might sell a bit.
The truth is, alcohol probably NEVER works for problems. It helps people avoid looking at problems, it lets them forget problems briefly, but it doesn’t actually work to solve problems, and usually lets problems get worse and worse as you drink to avoid dealing with them. And then you realize that you have created a very serious problem for yourself. Now you have TWO serious problems to solve.
Work on it. I quit cocaine every day for four years before I actually was able to quit for all the time to the present. I had to change friends, jobs and cities in the process. Completely worth the journey.
I feel for you and I’m rooting for you.

Jaybird 18th December 2019 10:01 PM

I got rid of red wine, feeling much better with a few beers from the keg,
cant handle the dank stuff!!!

s wave 20th December 2019 08:35 PM

When you get down do it - it is just often a choice of how we deal with frustration. A 2 year old will hold his breath to 'numb' the feeling of feeling frustrated. (whatever that frustration may be) The lack of oxygen temporarily takes some pain feeling away. Reaching for a drink is no different (probably worse). To grow as a human being we must find out how we are permitting failures through our choices. When something drives you up a wall or out of your mind that is the point to grab a hold of yourself and observe why this is happening. How do we allow our selves to bcome frustrated. How did we permit it. The ego often wants to engage. If we question this - this is often where we get our personal answer or a light bulb epiphany. We do not have to engage. If you do not engage - you do not allow yourself to get tangled up in a mess. (Just like babysitting for a few kids that constantly fight and bicker everyday... It is useless and degrades the situation to start doing what they do. You disconnect from it. It is life. You ride the storm out.)

If we find where we allowed ourselves to act in a certain way - we find out where to stop it. We always have one choice and that is a choice of attitude. If we place ourselves in a mindset of judgment - we are screwed. If we judge someone else or our selves we have to realize it is our ego doing the judgment. And judgment is a justification. We can not justify anything in this world. If we try to justify our own past behaviour (let alone someone elses) we are screwed - this is where we shoot ourselves in the foot. No ego no problem - no ego - no stress. No one is perfect; but we can start perfecting ourselves by going back to when we allowed our behaviour. It might be from not getting something we wanted when we were 12 years old, or an authority figure didn't listen to what we said when we were 6. If you observe how we are observing our past and present - the answers start popping up - and we laugh at how stupid and silly it was and is now. When we start laughing at our selves... for what we did and are doing... this is the life changer IMO. tc

Pali 30th December 2019 12:16 AM

****ed up lately. Going sober right now. Its going to be difficult, but the consequences of my drinking are hurting others and myself. Sayonara.

mattiasnyc 30th December 2019 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pali (Post 14412602)
****ed up lately. Going sober right now. Its going to be difficult, but the consequences of my drinking are hurting others and myself. Sayonara.

Best of luck.

Remember to avoid temptation. Don't go to parties where you know you'll be tempted, don't go to bars etc. Stay away from the stores that sell the stuff. Maybe try to go for a jog or something when you feel 'anxious'....

Anyway, I hope you get things in order.

Pali 30th December 2019 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mattiasnyc (Post 14413518)
Best of luck.

Remember to avoid temptation. Don't go to parties where you know you'll be tempted, don't go to bars etc. Stay away from the stores that sell the stuff. Maybe try to go for a jog or something when you feel 'anxious'....

Anyway, I hope you get things in order.

Thanks man, I'm a hard drinker, not a frequent drinker so I hope it makes things easier (going cold turkey). Anyways the better thing I did is to assume I was bad.
I'm seeing a shrink and not going out for 3 months at least. Going to focus on my studies which is a Master in Music, so everything is going to be OK. kfhkh

s wave 30th December 2019 10:44 PM

Ya the ego twists things good. Don't judge anything especially yourself. There is these little taps... low self esteem is the same as pride. Having no personal judgement wipes all that clean... Valerium works for many to sleep like a baby... Keep your eye on that masters... yea, And GIVE yourself something to look forward to everyday... wheter its bakinga cake at the end of the day. Or you fav pizza at the end of the week... or just crawl up in pillows and take that well deserved nap. And big rule - do not take the fun out of like - gotta laff! warm wishes and HAPPY new year... ! I will be having my annual basil and cola for the TOAST!!! yeee haw.

bambamboom 3rd January 2020 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pali (Post 14412602)
the consequences of my drinking are hurting others and myself.

Sadly, I have seen countless people get into all sorts of terrible situations as a result of alcohol (and drugs). In most cases, these are GREAT people, who just drank too much and ended up crossing a line.

As a result, I have personally seen people fired from their jobs, accidentally kill themselves or someone else, break up marriages and families, end up in major financial trouble, end up in jail, end up with a baby, the list goes on and on.

Drinking or doing drugs to the point where you compromise your control over your actions (which is way a lower threshold than some people might think) is an absolute recipe for disaster.

I'm sure every single one of us has seen the same sorts of consequences that people encounter in our own circles. Despite this, some people continue to take things too far and throw control of their actions out the window, rolling the dice.

It makes no sense.

Having just seen yet another really bad situation unfold over the holidays with a colleague, I would remind everyone to be responsible, and watch out for your friends in situations where substances might be abused. While people should be responsible for their own actions, it's always a good idea to help them get home safely BEFORE things might get out of hand.

pencilextremist 4th January 2020 09:46 PM

I'm not convinced this is a genuine post, if it is real then the answer is simple.... stop drinking, that's it.

blackcom 15th January 2020 09:37 AM

Ive heard microdosing shrooms can help for alcholism.

barbital 15th January 2020 10:40 AM

Back in the early 2000s (2002-2003) I had access to huge quantities of barbiturates. Long story short I fell into their cozy trap. gooof :facepalm:

The only advice I can offer is seek professional help - that is, see a doctor and kick the habit. I ended up almost hospitalised but managed to get clean by using benzos, mainly Serepax/Murelax. Even that is nasty stuff. But after 3 years of nightmarish PAWS even whilst on antidepressants (which I am on to this day) I was clean as a whistle.

HerbDelux 17th January 2020 01:51 AM

^ your username checks out