The No.1 Website for Pro Audio
Life fell apart in 2019. I'm barely hanging on
Old 26th December 2019
  #1
Lives for gear
Life fell apart in 2019. I'm barely hanging on

Man my wife left me for a much older man and our divorced was finalized last month. the holidays have ripped me apart. My kids with my first wife don’t come around much and im just falling apart. Hell Christmas ive had the flu strep and blew out a tire didn’t make it to work and my job situation is up in the air. My luck is just really going bad and im hanging on by a thread. My family don’t get it. They never been through anything like this they cant relate and just think I should be able to go on. Im thinking about pack up my truck and going and staying in Arizona with some friends to heat the winter blues im just in a bad spot. Im writing alot though.
Old 26th December 2019
  #2
Sorry to hear about your woes Boomer81. I went through some bad times around 20 years back and I did recover and every day things got a bit better until one day I thought: life's OK now; it's bearable and I can start to remember who I really am and what I want to do. Be kind to yourself.
Old 26th December 2019
  #3
Lives for gear
 
Ol' Betsey's Avatar
You feel like you're hanging on by a thread but YOU'RE HANGING ON! That's the main thing. Just keep fighting through it, buddy. Really. We've all been there in one way or another (And some of us more than once. OK maybe twice. Oh hell, I've lost count by now...) and you're doing exactly what you need to be doing.

You just keep hanging in there and keep writing and give your kids a call and tell them you're thinking about them (they might not even respond cuz, well, kids are like that sometimes but putting that energy out there is good for The Light and what's good for The Light is good for you. And good for your kids too) and watch a stupid ass movie or two or three and then get that tire fixed and apologise to your work (They'll understand. They've been there too, remember we all have...) and just keep on keepin' on.

Yep. Keep on keepin' on, brother. I feel ya.

R.
Old 26th December 2019
  #4
Lives for gear
Bury yourself in your music - some of the best stuff you'll ever write is when you're feeling down! Music is all about emotion - use it to your advantage! Good luck and don't let the b*****ds get to you!
Old 26th December 2019
  #5
Lives for gear
 
Zyzygis's Avatar
I hope that things turn around for you and you can begin to enjoy life.
It might be a good idea to go to Arizona and draw a line and put the past behind you, take a rest and reflect and then redirect your self towards a better future.
Sometimes we need to make a break with the past before we can free ourselves enough to remember who we are and what gives us joy.
Perhaps getting out of your usual environment will give you the space to do this.
Be patient with your self, it takes time to turn a life around, and focus on detoxification on every level, mind, body and spirit, this will give you a fresh perspective and open up new possibilities for you.
Whatever you decide to do I wish you a much happier new year.
Old 28th December 2019
  #6
Lives for gear
 
kpatz's Avatar
Sorry man... I went through the same thing in 2018. 2019 wasn't much easier. Hoping 2020 brings some relief finally.

In the meantime, music is therapy, so enjoy that, and try and get to Arizona for at least a short trip (love it there, it's on my short list of places I'm considering escaping to myself).

Sending healing light and prayers.
Old 28th December 2019
  #7
Gear Addict
 
fabriciom's Avatar
 

No one can really know what you are goin through but you.

What I am reading is that life is through big changes at you.

You can either accept and deal or fight and suffer.

I read a book a while back that has helped me a lot through life.

I you are tired of suffering I recommend you read "The power of Now".

Good luck and I hope you find the way.

Cheers!
Old 28th December 2019
  #8
Lives for gear
Don't let the bastards get you down.

Old 28th December 2019
  #9
Gear Guru
 
henryrobinett's Avatar
I’m so very sorry. Keep hanging on. My wife left me for an older wealthier man about 25 years ago. That lasted about 4 months. Started divorce abd child custody proceedings. But at the Las minute we started talking again. First she kicked asshole to the curb. I refused to talk to her for months. Gradual. It’s been 30 years now. But I was beneath the floor for a long time. I had my 8 month old son. He kept me going.

There’s always another rainbow if you look. Much love to you.
Old 28th December 2019
  #10
Lives for gear
 
Zyzygis's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by fabriciom View Post
No one can really know what you are goin through but you.

What I am reading is that life is through big changes at you.

You can either accept and deal or fight and suffer.

I read a book a while back that has helped me a lot through life.

I you are tired of suffering I recommend you read "The power of Now".

Good luck and I hope you find the way.

Cheers!
Yes, that’s a great book. I second that recommendation.
Old 28th December 2019
  #11
Lives for gear
 
bgood's Avatar
Keep your chin up and use that as fuel for your writing
Old 30th December 2019
  #12
Hey Boomer81, please let us know how things are going. NYE usually sucks (AFAIR) so I hope you're getting some good songs down.

I really like that line from Nick Lowe's The Beast in Me: "...patently unclear; if it's New York or New year..."

Best, Arthur
Old 15th January 2020
  #13
Gear Nut
Hey I hope all is ok!
I can really also recommend The Power of Now audio tapes also - and additionally (I suffer from depression and anxiety) when you can, and you've sailed through the rougher seas; I can hands down recommend cognitive therapy. It's help me a lot get through a very tough time and I feel that the big dips get less. It's super cool because it helps you get out of bad cycles of thought.

Please hit me up for a chat about it anytime!
Old 16th January 2020
  #14
Gear Guru
 
henryrobinett's Avatar
Has anyone heard from boomer81? The last post he made was this one 2 weeks ago. There was a facebook friend who left a very suspicious goodbye cruel world post and didn't respond to any inquiries. I tracked his address and ran over, but either someone was lying that they didn't know who he was or something. We don't have this luxury on GS because who the hell knows where anybody is? He was OK and finally respnded almost two weeks later!

If anyone knows boomer 81 or if you're OK, please chime in.
Old 16th January 2020
  #15
Lives for gear
 
Zyzygis's Avatar
I hope he is ok and went to Arizona like he said he might to get a break.
Christmas and NewYears can be very hard on people who are going through difficult times and alone.
Old 29th January 2020
  #16
Gear Nut
No response at all from Boomer?

I tried mailing one of the moderators to see if they had any contact info for him but I didn't hear anything back..
Old 14th February 2020
  #17
Lives for gear
Im good. Doing better lost my job hit tock bottom Ive been sober a month on Monday. Had enough money saved to cover bills and stuff. my tax return is coming in. I’ve been playing out open mics and songwriter things. Even in bars no desire to drink. I actually ripped the roof off the biggest open mic locally a couple weeks back ive been getting alot of great feedback. Getting noticed. If im not in aa or church im playing. A blind preacher who plays blues gave me the best compliment and even spured me on to just go for it. at a open mic last week said im his favorite local songwriter. He been playing 50 years. and said i hear it in you. Ive accepted that i had to go through this to get what im reaching for. This is part of a plan. I don’t know i lost my mind went crazy. But i wrote some damn solid music. The holidays just about did me in but its true what dont kill ya makes you stronger. Thanks to everyones support. I just got back on here sorry if i caused any concern. Thats to everyones support
Old 14th February 2020
  #18
Lives for gear
 
Zyzygis's Avatar
So glad to hear from you and that you are in a better place.
Perhaps you needed to “lose your life to find it”?
Sounds like this is what you are meant to be doing.
Keep on your path and I am sure you will be supported.
Old 17th February 2020
  #19
Gear Nut
Hi Boomer!
Good hear you're OK man! Sounds like you had a proper music and life experience.
music is one of my best friends when things are tough..

P.
Old 27th February 2020
  #20
Boomer,
Keep going forward.
I am going through stuff since 2018 or so, bad stuff.
I almost lost it but I am kicking to stay in the game.

I hope for better days ahead for you!
Old 4 weeks ago
  #21
Lives for gear
Getting sober was the best thing I ever did. End of story

Well not really lol but it’s been quite a ride
Post Reply

Welcome to the Gearslutz Pro Audio Community!

Registration benefits include:
  • The ability to reply to and create new discussions
  • Access to members-only giveaways & competitions
  • Interact with VIP industry experts in our guest Q&As
  • Access to members-only sub forum discussions
  • Access to members-only Chat Room
  • Get INSTANT ACCESS to the world's best private pro audio Classifieds for only USD $20/year
  • Promote your eBay auctions and Reverb.com listings for free
  • Remove this message!
You need an account to post a reply. Create a username and password below and an account will be created and your post entered.


 
 
Slide to join now Processing…
Thread Tools
Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Forum Jump
Forum Jump