Untitled (yet)
So, I have these lyrics here for a while and have been wanting some second opinion. I'm free to constructive criticism, so please, tell me what you think about it!
(It has no title yet... been trying to find one.)
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Sobriety is a gift
I can't count on.
Bury me with my dreams
And then I'll float on
The quietude of solitude
In my cozy nest.
I'd rather be dead under trees
Than live the rest with this loss.
Rest my head
On a pillow made of concrete.
When the sun goes down we're nothing but these silhouettes
Fading slowly on the ground.
Rest my head
On the lap of mother earth,
but there's no one here to blame, no one here to blame
But me.
Fallacy, fallacy!
The way we used to see,
The way we used to see is a
Fallacy, fallacy!
There's so much more than eyes can meet,
So much more, but we can’t reach.
(NOTE: for this song I wasn't seeking that verse-chorus-bridge-chorus construction.)