So, I have these lyrics here for a while and have been wanting some second opinion. I'm free to constructive criticism, so please, tell me what you think about it!
(It has no title yet... been trying to find one.)

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Sobriety is a gift
I can't count on.
Bury me with my dreams
And then I'll float on

The quietude of solitude
In my cozy nest.
I'd rather be dead under trees
Than live the rest with this loss.

Rest my head
On a pillow made of concrete.
When the sun goes down we're nothing but these silhouettes
Fading slowly on the ground.

Rest my head
On the lap of mother earth,
but there's no one here to blame, no one here to blame
But me.

Fallacy, fallacy!
The way we used to see,
The way we used to see is a

Fallacy, fallacy!
There's so much more than eyes can meet,
So much more, but we can’t reach.


(NOTE: for this song I wasn't seeking that verse-chorus-bridge-chorus construction.)

I can relate that this song is about someone who don't want to give up on his dream but are disappointed with the people surrounding him for asking him go back to reality.

It's good enough, but not powerful to touch my heart. (I'm honest here. Don't be mad okay? :D )

Perhaps if there's a part where I can shout together with the singer, since this is about pursuing our dream, we should shout it out loud and declare our determination.

That's what I think, from a fans point of view.

I really like it. Wish it was longer