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Brave Warriors Never Yield - Metal (For Critique)
Old 12th November 2015
  #1
Gear Maniac
 

Brave Warriors Never Yield - Metal (For Critique)

All comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated!

Brave Warriors Never Yield
Unpublished Work, Copyright © R. Dobbins

Verse 1a:
Your world will soon be dying
The veil has now been raised
The living have all been sleeping
And shall awaken as the enslaved

Verse 1b:
The Gods up in the Heavens
Will cry out for the slain
As darkness brings callous evil
And takes command of the last domain

Bridge 1:
Riding chariots of blood and bone
Whipping stallions made of stone
They charge across the blackened earth
And plunder everything of worth
Slapping leather and clapping steel
Grinding souls beneath the wheels
Beneath the bloody wheels

Verse 2a:
Dark hearts as hard as granite
With fury in their eyes
In Hell they swallow the hatred
Spit it out as the enemy dies

Verse 2b:
Limp arms and legs lay severed
The blood is ankle deep
While bodies pile even higher
They stand and fight on the thrashing heap

Bridge 2:
Fighting barbarous brutes and beasts
One daring guardian will not cease
He thrusts into the storming raid
Implanting deep his dripping blade
Chariots rumble and smash his shield
Crushing him beneath the wheels
Beneath the bloody wheels

Outro:
Now the last defender has given his life
His oath engraved in the hardened steel:
Brave warriors die with honor
Brave warriors never yield


~Bob
Old 3rd January 2016
  #2
Very prophetic, you may not realize it but these lyrics are straight outta the Bible, Revelation, blood to the horses bridle kinda stuff.

I would have to hear the cadence of these lyrics to get the feel right. They may be a little too rhymey.
Old 3rd January 2016
  #3
Lives for gear
"Awake enslaved"

Verse 1a:
Your worrrrrrrrrld, is gone, The veeeeeeeeil, has lifted, The livinnng, are sleeping, AWAKE ENSLAVED!!!!

Verse 1b:
The Godddddds, will cry, for thosssse, (who were) slain, darknessssssss, falls, (and) END-LESS PAIN!!

Bridge 1:
Evil armies line the hills
War machine is here to kill
Charge-a-cross-the-black-ened-earth
Plund-er-ev-ery-thing-of-worth
Blood-and-leath-er-flash-ing-steel
Break-YOUR-BONES-beneath-the-wheels
AWAKE ENSLAVED!!!!

Verse 2a:
Darkened hearrrrrrrts, and minds, Fire innnnnnn, their eyes
Swallow-innnnng, YOU whole,
A.......WAKE ENSLAAAAAAAAAVED!!!! (little 1/32 notes bass lick)(play it anywhere on guitar just a mode)
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