Send em up to us and well put attack controls in.

Personally I couldnt use a compressor with no attack control on a mix - I think thats where half yer problems are coming from.
To make them line up properly for stereo youre probably going to need to run them in m/s. Thats how I run my Audimax IIs as they just arent matchable. Then you can also do neat things like having sepperate settings on the m and s signals. Oh the possibilities!
Does the ratio sound higher on compress than it does on limit? That shouldnt be so...
I totally know what you mean about the 'sound' of them. Its the same reason I love my Audimaxes even when theyre bad, and it makes me forgive them when I probably shouldnt. Theres just some undefinable magic they impart on a mix...its hard not to use them!
All of these issues can be fixed though, Ive heard a Mu comp that doesnt have them and it is beyond amazing...
M