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i mean... seriously...
Old 9th August 2005
Lives for gear
FMNYC's Avatar

i mean... seriously...

one of my fave junk mail letters this year.

i love president's name: "President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyonodoes"

say it outloud a few times, that sh_t cracks me up!


Dear friend,

My name is Mr. Ching Jin Yuen, and my home address is PONDOK JATI CR-1, SIDOARJO-61251, EAST JAVA, INDONESIA. I am writing to you to help me on both humanitarian and mutually benefiting interest grounds. I am relying on your help; in return, I will compensate you most generously. My story is not quite unique or new, but I believe this approach will bring a solution to my family ordeal. Please forgive me for invading your privacy. I specifically chose free, opensocieties, which we can only dream of. Because I believe you are a busy person, please let me briefly outline my agenda, and then, I will proceed to give you details. I am an orthodox Christian and a minority ethnic Chinese of Indonesia, and though we as a people have suffered Official and private persecution for years, but recently the economic downturn of Indonesia has been blamed on us and we have become the scapegoats please check the following Websites on Attrocities in Indonesia:

You will find countless articles on the subject, and it is sobering to say the last in the light of the foregoing, I took precautionary steps years ago and established a numbered Account in United Kingdom, Funds on current Deposit £9,375,406.98GBP. As it turned out, it was my wisest and best decision yet, and the future of my family is now centered on this money. How? Since the Riots broke out, the ethnic Chinese, particularly the rich and middle class have been restricted from emigrating to other countries with their wealth. The Secret Police trail and watch your every move; even as I write to you, my telephone is bugged and my family and I are virtually on house arrest. A Visa application by the unwary is an invitation for trouble and the Secret Police will instantly be at your door and your bank Account frozen these are the sordid details and our dear President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyonodoes not want the world to know about! On a practical side, I have tried both openly and also clandestinely to obtain visas for myself and my family at the American Embassy, Address: JI. Merdeka Selatan 4-5, Jakarta 10110, Indonesia, Phone (62-21) 3435-9000; Fax: (62-21) 385-7189, and my efforts proved fruitless; even an application on humanitarian grounds to the American Ambassador, Mr. B. Lynn Pascoe, was turned down for "want of merit", an official language meaning that a grant of visa will be against the interest of the State of Indonesia! In summary therefore, I am planning to emigrate to America or Canada or any other Western Country, and I need your help. I cannot do it from Indonesia.

As a wealthy man I have some means and help, but because of the prying eyes of the Secret Police, I am greatly handicapped. I have made a lot of research and I have a plan that will work, with your cooperation will require your help to retain immigration Attorney who will prepare the basic paperwork for me; I will thereafter arrange with a contact Mr. Chin Chun Chang who resides in Malaysia and works as a Clerk Assistant and he will help me in processing visas and passports for me and my family from Malaysia. This contact will, at the appropriate time arrange passage for me and m y family to your residing country. Once in your country of residence, I will be free toinvest my money in any profitable business in your country.
Meanwhile, I have given the bank in UK currently with my funds instructions to follow my NEXT OF KIN in order to avoid anyone or the Secret Police forcing me under coercion to wire the funds back to Indonesia or anywhere; it is my greatest security. If you are willing to assist me you will please do the following for me: -
(1) You will have to contact the bank in UK with my instructions to make all necessary arrangement/transactions with them in order to effect my entire funds £9,375,406.98GBP into your specified bank account as my NEXT OF KIN.
(2) Upon receiving the money of £9,375,406.98GBP into your account, you will use part of the money to retain an immigration Attorney to advise me (though, from my researches, my emigration to Canada/America or any Western Countries is assured because of my SUBSTANTIAL UK HOLDINGS
(3) You will please also arrange air charter transportation for me and my family from Malaysia to your country of residence details will follow later. If you are willing to help me, please reply ONLY by email, and we will establish our game plan.
However, in response to this email please forward to me the below information to enable my bank in UK to enable all necessary contact with you.
i.Your full names
ii.Contact address (Office/Residence)
iii.Telephone/Fax numbers (Office/Residence)
As soon as I receive the above information from you I shall forward to you immediately the complete details of my Bank in UK with my funds to commence the processing of transfer to your Bank with my instruction. Because, I made it known to my Bank in UK that I will provide my NEXT OF KIN in response of my funds transfer.
Thank you for your cooperation. I am looking forward to hearing from you soonest. Please, forward your reply to my email address below.
Yours sincerely,
EMAIL:[email protected]
Old 9th August 2005

FM ponders the meaning of Yudhoyonodoes.

(You forgot to add your little random signature )
Old 9th August 2005
Lives for gear
dim light's Avatar

i love those letter -- ! --

i also won money and now ebay want me to confirm my ebay account - ( I don't have a ebay account)

Ha ha ha... This world is sick...

I blame everything on China .- don't know why - but I do!
Old 9th August 2005
Lives for gear
FMNYC's Avatar

Originally Posted by jordan19
FM ponders the meaning of Yudhoyonodoes.

(You forgot to add your little random signature )
sh_t! you're right... thinking about all that money coming to me is distracting. heh
btw, i like the one you came up with!


FM will gladly pay you tuesday for a hamburger today.
Old 9th August 2005
Hmmm... I think that name calls for some anagrams...




That's about all I can handle for now.
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