Ok Ok, this will sound funny and like a joke, but I really wanna do it.......THE FART DISTORTION PEDAL! THATS RIGHT FOLKS FEED YOUR GUITAR IN AND GLORIOUS CHORDS OF FARTING COME OUT. I HAVE A BASIC CONCEPT OF ELECTRONICS AND THIS IS COMPLEATELY DOABLE!!! WHOS INTO IT?!

Behringer??? Sorry, you left it wide open.

As a sometimes business investor, my thoughts are: I doubt it would sell enough units to make it worth the investment, since the sampling tech is already very cheaply available to do the same thing, and it has already been done plenty.

As I recall there was a Christmas Album about 3 years back featuring all the Xmas classics made up totally of tuneful fart samples. Not sure how many units they sold.

The other thing is that novelty sounds like this have a very limited utility. I advise just getting a sampler and sampling farts to your heart's content :-)

However, crazier things (pet rocks? Chia Pets?) have found success, so don't let me rain on yer parade, err, fart festival :-)

One idea would be to develop a prototype, patent it, and solicit it to exisiting pedal makers--there are some very strange pedal makers out there, that I know for sure :-) They may love to buy it if you put the work into it, package it, name it, and all they have to do is manufacure and market.

Another thing I would advise is keeping ideas like this to yourself before you have some kind of protection on them and prototype made, simply because there are plenty of people around who have the skill, means, and money to make this happen before you can say "fart-in-a-box!"


Cheers, and G'Luck!


KT

i believe every teen aged boy guitarist in america would buy one of these novelties. maybe it could even be keychain sized...someone made a christmas album with dogs and cats, that thing sold HUGE

Also, of course we realize samplers can do the job of any instument...BUT GUITARISTS DONT KNOW THAT!!!!! They buy hella pedals.

I'm gonna go on record here saying that I prefer the sound of analog farts to sampled ones---somehow they seem....hmmm....warmer

Besides, quantisization hurts my butt on the way out.

HELL YEA. ANALOG IS ALWAYS BETTER THEN DIGITAL. IF YOU *MUST* SAMPLE FARTS...MAKE IT ON A SP1200 OR S950...SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE 12 BIT A/D CONVERTS KINDA MAKES IT MORE...SHALL WE SAY...PUNCHIER.

I think you all are missing the point. If you want to make money you need to create a product that requires constant re-fills (sort of like the cheap Inkjets that we constantly are buying ink for)

So why not have pressurized mini canisters of ....real FARTS. By adding a "wah" like pedal the guitar player (and why not keyboardist too) can control the pitch of the fart as well as the amount of the variant vapors! That's right variant...because we are going to have more than one FART gaz. The canisters are inserted inside the pedal just like a C02 one in pellet guns. The possibilities are endless.

Jim

I have an idea for a chocolate covered raw oyster stand that we can put in malls. We'll call them "Flem Poppers!" and make a mint!

I dont like to sample them I prefer my own.

Shouldn't this be in "Shoot The Breeze"??

Sorry.

Classic!

R.

This thread stinks like farts!!!

Unfortunately, this already exists, it's called "mastering" and sells for $100+/hr (with a few notable exceptions)

Andy

Now that I've had my sarcasm pill, lauching a pedal shouldn't require mondo investment....many have done it as a side job or while in school....a 2 page web site, paypal, perfboard, handpainted boxes.......

Going big may seem like the right thing to do but.....

Those what's new articles in Guitar "____" magazine are not free, it is ad space that has been sold

Booths at trade shows, once you get the carpet, the table, the electricity, the unionized "help" will quickly add up and the expended sushi budget will quickly lead those tired legs into Carl's Jr.

Big dealers pay when they feel like making check runs, paypal is much faster.

The biggest danger of starting as a cottage industry is that some bigger fish with better lawyers than engineers likes what's on your plate today.

my $0.02

Andy

Do you think Neve Preamps or API would be better for recording farts? For the neve sound would a Wunder or Neve Portico recording sell more copies? Has anyone got any experience comparing the two for this purpose? Don't forget to use a pop shield or should I say poop shield on your soundelux mike (or should I use a geffel? what do you think?) Should I use compression on the way in or the way out? if I boost at 15k will it sound like an unatural amount of air? Cubase or Logic?

Help!

ummm...thats a good question narco....in my experience it depends on the conditions. If you have just had a taco with lots of beans and salsa, the API contrsts the natural harsh sound with a more smooth feel, at the same time the NEVE does wonders for your every day toot, always clear and with lots of presence. I track all my farts in double stereo, layer panned reverbs in one stereo track mix it like that. I have found that the EMT plate reverb is the best for farts but of course the lexicon 224xl will safice. Kick in some MXR auto phasor and you got that whole 70's funk fart sound goin on, a real treat! thumbsup

maybe a bit of compression to help push it up front.

what compressor do you recomend?

For a 'pumping, agressive sound' try ssl compressor.

For a distorted sound, try some distressor!

For a great low end, try the Aphex Bass Enhancer!

Transient Designer would be great to alter its attack and release.

The silent but deadly......hm.....how bout GML2030?


I wonder, your pedals, will it emulate the smell of its analog comparison? Coz that would be the ****e, since then you have more colors and smell, to explore, giving the guitarist a wide variety of choices.

all joking aside i think yoiu may have something here. - that said i about fell off my chair at sysexguy's mastering comment. Sigh how true.

jeffrey

Good idea! Then when the kids are practicing they can work out their Muddy/BB/Stevie Ray "What's that smell??" facial expressions...

nothing beats a Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaairchild.

everything else sounds pinched.