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Stupidest things you have ever heard during a session
Old 30th May 2019
  #6541
Lives for gear
 
norfolk martin's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by bicarbone View Post
Haha, to his defence he was simply reinventing binaural recording

Yea. Why use an artificial head when you already have a perfectly good real one?
Old 30th May 2019
  #6542
Gear Addict
 
bicarbone's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by norfolk martin View Post
Yea. Why use an artificial head when you already have a perfectly good real one?
Because the words "artificial" and "intelligence" are more frequently seen together...
Old 1st June 2019
  #6543
Quote:
Originally Posted by 12ax7 View Post
How did it sound?
.
No bueno.
Old 2nd June 2019
  #6544
Here for the gear
My worst session by far started with the 'artist' saying they didn't listen to music.... despite having earbuds in
Old 11th June 2019
  #6545
Lives for gear
Guy: "How much do you charge for mixing"

Me: Names a very competitive and reasonable rate

Guy: "Woah, that's 5 times what I pay to have my stuff mixed and mastered"

Me: "Yeah, then that guy is either making $5 an hour or spending 15 mins on your mix."

Guy: "Nah"

Old 17th June 2019
  #6546
Here for the gear
 
LineSicks's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by kudzu View Post
singer listening to mix playback.....

"....can anyone hear chickens...."

he was serious!!!!!

We found them....anyone guess what it was?

Aaaaaaah...

Squeaky kick drum pedal?
Bassists seat creeking under the weight of his immense girth?
The singers stomach bitching away?
Actual chickens set loose in the studio?(it happens)
Old 17th June 2019
  #6547
Here for the gear
 
LineSicks's Avatar
Over-confidant bassist, after being recorded for two+ hours for a 3 minute long walking line...
Getting very late, I told him not to worry, that his track could be fixed. He gets all pissy... "Nobody comps me!" He leaves for the evening upset, threatening to quit the band if we 'fix' it.
Spend another couple hours comping his track. Sounds right.
Next day he comes by... listens with a big smile, then... "See, I told you I wasn't off time... (and again) Nobody comps me!"
Then I showed him all the little 'slice-lines' in his stem... a bunch of skinny little lines. He's confused... I explain why they exist.


He did quit... Best thing for him, really.
Old 17th June 2019
  #6548
Gear Guru
 
Drumsound's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by LineSicks View Post
Over-confidant bassist, after being recorded for two+ hours for a 3 minute long walking line...
Getting very late, I told him not to worry, that his track could be fixed. He gets all pissy... "Nobody comps me!" He leaves for the evening upset, threatening to quit the band if we 'fix' it.
Spend another couple hours comping his track. Sounds right.
Next day he comes by... listens with a big smile, then... "See, I told you I wasn't off time... (and again) Nobody comps me!"
Then I showed him all the little 'slice-lines' in his stem... a bunch of skinny little lines. He's confused... I explain why they exist.


He did quit... Best thing for him, really.
Best thing for the band as well, I assume.
Old 17th June 2019
  #6549
Here for the gear
 
LineSicks's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drumsound View Post
Best thing for the band as well, I assume.
Yessir...

Nice guy n all... just wasn't in it for the right reasons.

Edit: After some thought, I guess he wasn't all that nice back then. lol
Old 4th July 2019
  #6550
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EMMST View Post
Guy: "How much do you charge for mixing"

Me: Names a very competitive and reasonable rate

Guy: "Woah, that's 5 times what I pay to have my stuff mixed and mastered"

Me: "Yeah, then that guy is either making $5 an hour or spending 15 mins on your mix."

Guy: "Nah"

People should never try to negotiate the price for a given service, you either accept it, or find someone for cheaper, that's it. It's common sense for so many reasons.
Old 4th July 2019
  #6551
Gear Guru
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AndreiPiatra View Post
People should never try to negotiate the price for a given service, you either accept it, or find someone for cheaper, that's it. It's common sense for so many reasons.
one negotiation that can work (on me anyway) is 'bundling'. If someone says how much for a song, and I say "x" and then they say well actually I have ten songs that need to be mixed, then I might be able to do something.
Old 6th July 2019
  #6552
Gear Addict
 
starseed's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomiBabi View Post
Singer wants 2 mics set up in the booth to record in stereo, so “you can hear me in both ears”.

... he complained that I didn’t place the mics correctly, and moved them next to his left and right ears.
Haha haha Classic!!!!
Old 2nd August 2019
  #6553
Gear Guru
 
zerocrossing's Avatar
A hip hop “band” showed up with a piece of paper with some half assed rap lyrics and said, “oh, we thought you’d do the music.” (I did)
Old 2nd August 2019
  #6554
Gear Guru
 
zerocrossing's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by starseed View Post
Haha haha Classic!!!!
She probably wanted to see this.

https://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/produ...BI%3A514&smp=y
Old 4 weeks ago
  #6555
I had a client come by with two “friends”.

After setting up their instrumental (rappers laying vocals) I took the first vocalist in the booth. While I’m adjusting the mic height...

Him: Hey nobody can hear me, right?

Me: Nope, no one else is in the building. And if they were they couldn’t hear you.

Him: Ok, I just brought this guy to pay for half the session. So take his rap out when you send me the final song.

? The mic was definitely up, not sure if the guys in the other room heard him or not. But the session was definitely awkward after that. And he kept reminding me as if I would forget.
Old 4 weeks ago
  #6556
Gear Guru
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yenrah View Post
I...
Him: Ok, I just brought this guy to pay for half the session. So take his rap out when you send me the final song.

? The mic was definitely up, not sure if the guys in the other room heard him or not. But the session was definitely awkward after that. And he kept reminding me as if I would forget.
Did the other guy come up to you and ask for a version with only his vocals?
Old 4 weeks ago
  #6557
Lives for snowflakes
 
12ax7's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yenrah View Post
Him: Hey nobody can hear me, right?

Me: Nope, no one else is in the building. And if they were they couldn’t hear you.
...So why did you tell him this lie?
.
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6558
Here for the gear
 

best thread on the internetz.
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6559
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yenrah View Post
I had a client come by with two “friends”.

After setting up their instrumental (rappers laying vocals) I took the first vocalist in the booth. While I’m adjusting the mic height...

Him: Hey nobody can hear me, right?

Me: Nope, no one else is in the building. And if they were they couldn’t hear you.

Him: Ok, I just brought this guy to pay for half the session. So take his rap out when you send me the final song.

? The mic was definitely up, not sure if the guys in the other room heard him or not. But the session was definitely awkward after that. And he kept reminding me as if I would forget.
LOL ded!!!
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6560
Lives for gear
 
norfolk martin's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yenrah View Post
I had a client come by with two “friends”.

After setting up their instrumental (rappers laying vocals) I took the first vocalist in the booth. While I’m adjusting the mic height...

Him: Hey nobody can hear me, right?

Me: Nope, no one else is in the building. And if they were they couldn’t hear you.

Him: Ok, I just brought this guy to pay for half the session. So take his rap out when you send me the final song.

? The mic was definitely up, not sure if the guys in the other room heard him or not. But the session was definitely awkward after that. And he kept reminding me as if I would forget.


I used to see something similar with rock bands when I was doing demos in the 90s

Often there was a totally superfluous second guitarist who seemed to do nothing but double the rhythm parts.

Most of the time he was there because

1. He owned a PA;
2. He owned a van; or
3. He was paying for recording the demo.

Usually, the other guitarist would sidle up and quietly inform me that "that's meant to be sort of a background guitar. don't put it too high in the mix."
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6561
Gear Guru
 
Brent Hahn's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by norfolk martin View Post


I used to see something similar with rock bands when I was doing demos in the 90s...
You see that at every level, and not just in music. Around here they're called "Executive Producers."
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6562
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
You see that at every level, and not just in music. Around here they're called "Executive Producers."
Oh !
Low-Blow here gents !
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6563
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
You see that at every level, and not just in music. Around here they're called "Executive Producers."
There because they own the company?!
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6564
Gear Guru
 
Brent Hahn's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by psycho_monkey View Post
There because they own the company?!
The usual job description is "rounder-upper of money."
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6565
Gear Head
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by norfolk martin View Post


I used to see something similar with rock bands when I was doing demos in the 90s

Often there was a totally superfluous second guitarist who seemed to do nothing but double the rhythm parts.

Most of the time he was there because

1. He owned a PA;
2. He owned a van; or
3. He was paying for recording the demo.

Usually, the other guitarist would sidle up and quietly inform me that "that's meant to be sort of a background guitar. don't put it too high in the mix."
4. He is the brother of another band member
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6566
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ego_Shredder View Post
4. He is the brother of another band member
5: Uncle
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6567
Not for a recording session, but during the filming of a music video:

We brought out a bunch of motorcycles to film with the artist... a 100k Ducati race bike, a turbo zx14r, a busa, and a bunch of custom Softails.

The artist wanted a shot of one of the models riding off on the back of a bike.

We tried educating the model, explaining the legal stuf and had waivers signed... we explicitly told everyone not to touch the bikes without supervision and permission.

The artist does the usual posing shots, laying on bikes, singing and rapping shots, etc. then we get to the stunt part...

We packed up the vans and relocated to a park where we had permission to film.

Stunting, wheelies, stoppies, burnouts, etc...

The artist decided to not listen to us, jump on an idling bike, and crash it into a fence.

She didn’t need an ambulance but was very shaken up and got some bad road rash.

She starts throwing a fit and demands we reimburse her and tells us that she doesn’t want to work with us any more, because “ I changed my mind about the bike idea.”
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6568
Lives for gear
 
boombapdame's Avatar
 

Where @ DomiBabi did y'all film as the artist shoulda reached out to J Jesses Smith on the bike aspect
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6569
Quote:
Originally Posted by boombapdame View Post
Where @ DomiBabi did y'all film as the artist shoulda reached out to J Jesses Smith on the bike aspect
Yonkers and the Bronx.

Why do you say that? Who dat?
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6570
Yesterday a new singer was in the studio and tells me, I can’t wait to sound like Bruno mars.. I was like cool, do you sound like him? “Artist” no but with all these big “machines and equipment” I know I will sound like him... what setting is Bruno Mars setting on all this equipment... I thought it was a joke but he was dead serious. And he sounded more like Mr Bean...
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