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Stupidest things you have ever heard during a session
Old 10th May 2019
  #6511
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by andersmv View Post
The only big word you're allowed to use is Neumann, that same group tends to like that one.
Let me guess, in order to be understood you have to pronounce it "newman", right?
Old 10th May 2019
  #6512
Here for the gear
 
Monteiro's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by joeq View Post
No sorry, there's a one-hour minimum!

I think if you have a studio for long enough, you will inevitably get one of these.
Did you get that the guy thought that I was talking about the CD time?

When I told him that we charged $100 / hour... the math in his mind was...

"Hmmm, I'm going to record 12 songs... each song has 4 minutes... so the CD will have about 50 minutes... I'm going to spend about $90..."

Logical.
Old 11th May 2019
  #6513
Gear Guru
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Monteiro View Post
Did you get that the guy thought that I was talking about the CD time?
Of course.

Do I have to explain the joke I was making?
Old 11th May 2019
  #6514
Here for the gear
 
Monteiro's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by joeq View Post
Of course.

Do I have to explain the joke I was making?
Not necessary : ))

English clearly is not my first language so I was not sure if I made myself clear.
Old 11th May 2019
  #6515
Gear Guru
 
Drumsound's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Monteiro View Post
More than 10 years ago...

One guy called me: "Please, I want to record my album, how it will cost to me?"

Me: "Oh, great, it will be a pleasure - we charge $100 / hour"

The guy: "OK... then... my album will have about 50 min... so I'll spend about $90... "

Quote:
Originally Posted by joeq View Post
No sorry, there's a one-hour minimum!

I think if you have a studio for long enough, you will inevitably get one of these.
I can't count how many times I've gotten this one.
Old 11th May 2019
  #6516
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drumsound View Post
I can't count how many times I've gotten this one.
Why do you have a two hour minimum? My song is only 5 mins. I CAN DO IT IN 5 MIN!
Old 11th May 2019
  #6517
Gear Guru
 
Drumsound's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by EMMST View Post
Why do you have a two hour minimum? My song is only 5 mins. I CAN DO IT IN 5 MIN!
I do 2 hour minimum on solo or duo, 4 hours for ensembles.
Old 12th May 2019
  #6518
Lives for gear
 
norfolk martin's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EMMST View Post
Why do you have a two hour minimum? My song is only 5 mins. I CAN DO IT IN 5 MIN!
Most small studios have run into some variation of this.

"We've got about 45 minutes of material,and we're pretty well rehearsed, so three hours should be plenty of recording time, right?".
Old 14th May 2019
  #6519
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drumsound View Post
Please Please Please tell me you ARE the bass player from Rancid.
No...sorry, I am not Matt....but I could play a better one on Television than the guy I was recording.
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6520
Gear Guru
 
Brent Hahn's Avatar
 

One of the stupidest things I've heard in a session turned out to be... silence.

Steady client was going to do an audiobook, said he was going to do it in his friend's untreated guest room. For free. I explained why that might be a bad idea. Client says nothing.

Just yesterday I happened to ask about the audio book. This is 2 1/2 years later.

"Oh, we finally finished it. But Amazon rejected it, they say there's too much noise. But my friend has a friend who has some special software. He can fix it for $500, which is only a quarter of his usual rate."
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6521
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
One of the stupidest things I've heard in a session turned out to be... silence.

Steady client was going to do an audiobook, said he was going to do it in his friend's untreated guest room. For free. I explained why that might be a bad idea. Client says nothing.

Just yesterday I happened to ask about the audio book. This is 2 1/2 years later.

"Oh, we finally finished it. But Amazon rejected it, they say there's too much noise. But my friend has a friend who has some special software. He can fix it for $500, which is only a quarter of his usual rate."
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6522
Lives for gear
 
Yannick's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
One of the stupidest things I've heard in a session turned out to be... silence.

Steady client was going to do an audiobook, said he was going to do it in his friend's untreated guest room. For free. I explained why that might be a bad idea. Client says nothing.

Just yesterday I happened to ask about the audio book. This is 2 1/2 years later.

"Oh, we finally finished it. But Amazon rejected it, they say there's too much noise. But my friend has a friend who has some special software. He can fix it for $500, which is only a quarter of his usual rate."
It is immensely sad how many people want to pay less and eventually end up with an inferior finished product that is more expensive than what they imagined.
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6523
Gear Guru
 
Brent Hahn's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yannick View Post
It is immensely sad how many people want to pay less and eventually end up with an inferior finished product that is more expensive than what they imagined.
The thing is, the guy could have paid the same amount -- zero -- and put in very little effort to cobble together an "audiobook cave." Pro audiobook people do this all the time. Here in LA there are lots of rich and vain bucketlisters, but in most of the world nobody pays a nickel to record audiobooks and they figure out ways to do it competently.
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6524
Lives for gear
 
norfolk martin's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
r.

"Oh, we finally finished it. But Amazon rejected it, they say there's too much noise. But my friend has a friend who has some special software. He can fix it for $500, which is only a quarter of his usual rate."
Well....someone just paid for their copy of Izotope RX. Probably not for the first time.
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6525
Gear Guru
 
monkeyxx's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by norfolk martin View Post
Well....someone just paid for their copy of Izotope RX. Probably not for the first time.
I was thinking exactly the same thing.
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6526
Gear Guru
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
One of the stupidest things I've heard in a session turned out to be... silence.

Steady client was going to do an audiobook, said he was going to do it in his friend's untreated guest room. For free. I explained why that might be a bad idea. Client says nothing.

Just yesterday I happened to ask about the audio book. This is 2 1/2 years later.

"Oh, we finally finished it. But Amazon rejected it, they say there's too much noise. But my friend has a friend who has some special software. He can fix it for $500, which is only a quarter of his usual rate."
never a budget to do it right
always a budget to pay to have it fixed
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6527
Gear Guru
 
Brent Hahn's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by joeq View Post
never a budget to do it right
always a budget to pay to have it fixed
Hell, 2.5 years ago I told him how he could do it right (enough)... for no budget. And it will never be truly fixed.
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6528
Lives for gear
 
elektrovolt's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
Hell, 2.5 years ago I told him how he could do it right (enough)... for no budget. And it will never be truly fixed.
This.

Some years ago I did a lot of mixing for a friend's band. The recordings were done by a drunk and incompetent guy in a rehearsal room. Most of the recordings were bad, some were okay-ish. Sometimes there was clipping, or one of the drum overheads missing (or even: already summed to mono from spaced pairs!), badly placed or wrong mics, horrible bahroom-like reflections..

I needed some projects for practicing, so I helped them out for free. The band member who was also the "producer" did not want to do the mixing at my place, because his home studio was 'where it's at' (parallel drywall, boomy corners, flutter echoes, around fourty resonating instruments such as guitars, bass, piano and more). Badly placed monitoring, cracked plugins.... and people playing guitar and singing songs while I was trying to fix their stuff.
Major arranging edits AFTER the mix was done... And in the end the album was never released.
I even offered to do the full production in my school's studio's for the tiniest fee and everyone agreed, except for the 'producer'.

The worst thing I've heard during those sessions was EVERYTHING.
Garbage in = garbage out. I did learn quite a bit from those sessions:
- never do such a project again
- how to deal with their egos
- how to stay calm and focused
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6529
Lives for gear
Ahh...revisions

Revision 1 "More piano"
Revision 2 "More guitar"
Revision 3 "More vocals"
Revision 4 "More drums"
Revision 5 "More bass"
Revision 6 "Less piano"
Revision 7 "Less guitar"
Revision 8 "Less vocals"
Revision 9 "Less drums"
Revision 10 "Less bass"

Sends the first version labeled as version 10... "Perfect!"
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6530
Lives for gear
 
andersmv's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by elektrovolt View Post
This.

Some years ago I did a lot of mixing for a friend's band. The recordings were done by a drunk and incompetent guy in a rehearsal room. Most of the recordings were bad, some were okay-ish. Sometimes there was clipping, or one of the drum overheads missing (or even: already summed to mono from spaced pairs!), badly placed or wrong mics, horrible bahroom-like reflections..

I needed some projects for practicing, so I helped them out for free. The band member who was also the "producer" did not want to do the mixing at my place, because his home studio was 'where it's at' (parallel drywall, boomy corners, flutter echoes, around fourty resonating instruments such as guitars, bass, piano and more). Badly placed monitoring, cracked plugins.... and people playing guitar and singing songs while I was trying to fix their stuff.
Major arranging edits AFTER the mix was done... And in the end the album was never released.
I even offered to do the full production in my school's studio's for the tiniest fee and everyone agreed, except for the 'producer'.

The worst thing I've heard during those sessions was EVERYTHING.
Garbage in = garbage out. I did learn quite a bit from those sessions:
- never do such a project again
- how to deal with their egos
- how to stay calm and focused

I don't think it was stupid of you to do that. Most of us have had to start out doing stuff like that, it's how you learn! I think it's important to work with difficult people every once in a while, it keeps you on your game and you get better at dealing with people (Which is half the battle most of the time).
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6531
Lives for gear
 
T_R_S's Avatar
Client:
oooh I see you have a Neva console

Me:
no its a SSL

Client: Cool a Neva SSL!

Last edited by T_R_S; 3 weeks ago at 07:38 PM..
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6532
Lives for gear
 
12ax7's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by EMMST View Post
Ahh...revisions

Revision 1 "More piano"
Revision 2 "More guitar"
Revision 3 "More vocals"
Revision 4 "More drums"
Revision 5 "More bass"
Revision 6 "Less piano"
Revision 7 "Less guitar"
Revision 8 "Less vocals"
Revision 9 "Less drums"
Revision 10 "Less bass"

Sends the first version labeled as version 10... "Perfect!"
When working on 'Thriller', Bruce Swedien did 91 different mixes of 'Billie Jean' by Micheal Jackson.

In the end, they chose Mix #2.

Here's the lore:
The True Story of Billie Jean
.
Old 3 weeks ago
  #6533
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by 12ax7 View Post
When working on 'Thriller', Bruce Swedien did 91 different mixes of 'Billie Jean' by Micheal Jackson.

In the end, they chose Mix #2.

Here's the lore:
The True Story of Billie Jean
.

Old 3 weeks ago
  #6534
Lives for gear
 
elektrovolt's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by andersmv View Post
I don't think it was stupid of you to do that. Most of us have had to start out doing stuff like that, it's how you learn! I think it's important to work with difficult people every once in a while, it keeps you on your game and you get better at dealing with people (Which is half the battle most of the time).
That is very true indeed. But this project lasted almost three years and there were a few egos involved. My teachers told me to leave the project and focus on more promising projects instead, but I tried to finish the project. Maybe it is a good thing the album didn't get released in the end because it was still a turd. I am good at polishing turds now :D
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6535
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norfolk martin's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by elektrovolt View Post
I am good at polishing turds now :D
You will find that this is a very valuable skill. With everyone trying to cut their own tracks, there is a great deal of dull turdery out there that needs polishing.
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6536
Gear Head
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by norfolk martin View Post
there is a great deal of dull turdery out there
LOL. Well said.
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6537
Gear Guru
 
Drumsound's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by 12ax7 View Post
When working on 'Thriller', Bruce Swedien did 91 different mixes of 'Billie Jean' by Micheal Jackson.

In the end, they chose Mix #2.

Here's the lore:
The True Story of Billie Jean
.
I love that story, and use it often.


I wish people would pay me for 91 mixes of songs...
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6538
Singer wants 2 mics set up in the booth to record in stereo, so “you can hear me in both ears”.

He insists that in the real world, all singers are stereo instruments.

I tried telling him that we have one mouth and two ears. He won’t listen.

And before you start thinking that the guy really just wanted to record in stereo for width control or tone blending or any of the good reasons to do this...

... he complained that I didn’t place the mics correctly, and moved them next to his left and right ears.
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6539
Gear Maniac
 
bicarbone's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by DomiBabi View Post
Singer wants 2 mics set up in the booth to record in stereo, so “you can hear me in both ears”.

He insists that in the real world, all singers are stereo instruments.

I tried telling him that we have one mouth and two ears. He won’t listen.

And before you start thinking that the guy really just wanted to record in stereo for width control or tone blending or any of the good reasons to do this...

... he complained that I didn’t place the mics correctly, and moved them next to his left and right ears.
Haha, to his defence he was simply reinventing binaural recording
Old 2 weeks ago
  #6540
Lives for gear
 
12ax7's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by DomiBabi View Post
[...] he complained that I didn’t place the mics correctly, and moved them next to his left and right ears.
How did it sound?
.
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