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Stupidest things you have ever heard during a session
Old 23rd February 2019 | Show parent
  #6421
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by combfilter View Post
I just got the classic "Is this a condensation microphone?" question.

Still have not found a proper answer
Yes, it even sounds great dry - as you'll hear in dew course. (boom tish)
Old 25th February 2019 | Show parent
  #6422
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norfolk martin's Avatar
 

Not sure how stupid this is going to turn out to be, but I just got a stage plot for an upcoming live show (small club gig) that is quite normal except that it shows two floor monitors for the singer, about a foot apart, marked "stereo mix"

Although the PA is wired in in stereo, I generally do very little panning, so It may as well be in mono. Why a country band needs "stereo monitoring" from floor monitors is currently a bit of a mystery to me. What they hope to achieve when the monitors are less than 1' apart is also a mystery.

Our Soundcraft has four mono pre-fader sends that are already spoken for by the four musicians. Building an additional adjustable "stereo mix" out of two post-fader sends is going to be a full scale PITA.

Anyone ever heard of this?
Old 25th February 2019 | Show parent
  #6423
Gear Guru
 
Brent Hahn's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by norfolk martin View Post
Anyone ever heard of this?
Guess it calls for a conversation. Please report back. :-)
Old 25th February 2019 | Show parent
  #6424
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norfolk martin's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
Guess it calls for a conversation. Please report back. :-)
The show is March 8. I'll let y'all know
Old 26th February 2019
  #6425
Today this sax session player (well kinda) couldn't get the line so, he asked if we could slow down the "song" to "half the speed" so he can do it slower. Then bring the tempo back and it should be perfect.....
Old 27th February 2019
  #6426
I visited a friend’s studio to check out the artists he keeps bragging about.

It’s a group of 5 guys that produce House music and DJ together. One of the guys is a VJ and lighting guy that does these cool synchronized video performances to the DJ set.

Anyways, I get to the spot and notice that the DJs have a very very expensive Pioneer DJ rig... the best mixer they make, the super high end decks, etc

The guys were actually very good and did a set while I recorded them with my buddy.

Afterwards, we are all hanging out at the local pub and the VJ guy asks my buddy when his video will be ready.

My buddy (who is usually very good) was really confused.

The group expected him to also capture the VJ performance, and he is NOT set up for any type of decent video.

Anyways, he explained and offered a discount. There were no hard feelings until the VJ of the group had too many beers and turned to us and said:

“You know what? You should have known better. VJs are DJs. I’m just as much a musician as Jimmy Hendrix was... I just make music with film. You’ll see... it’s the reason our music sounds so good.” He continued to rant about how great his video sounded, and then demanded a full refund from my friend.

Maybe I lack depth or something... but I had 4 beers in me and laughed in the guys face. I’m really happy he wasn’t my client.
Old 27th February 2019 | Show parent
  #6427
Smile

Lol no, it means...... next musician plz :$
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slogun View Post
And Melodyne enters the scene

But I feel you. Time to grab a keyboard and reach for a sample library then.
Old 28th February 2019 | Show parent
  #6428
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by kojak View Post
Lol...the surest sign an artist isn't even remotely in the same universe of talent as Jimi Hendrix is if they compare themselves to Jimi Hendrix.
Hehe, yesterday evening I had an idea to make a album with my very bad guitar-noodling and call it "Spiting On The Grave Of Jimi Hendrix"
Old 4th March 2019
  #6429
I had a client last night that needed me to program in a few notes of an electric bass performance using VIs.

The track was recorded well, except for 15 seconds or so where there was some bad feedback from the mic amping the cab. The producer does not have access to the original musician and needs the section replayed and matched to how the original was supposed to sound.

I like these kinds of challenges, because it gives me the rare opportunity to get paid for sound design when I’m usually stuck doing edits and mix revisions.

Anyways, I ended up trying all these virtual instruments: Trillian, Kontakt libraries, the Ableton library, etc. I finally settled on a preset from Reason that matched the source material close enough. I spent some time editing and dialing the amp in with Guitar Rig, and was ultimately successful in grafting the part into the recording where you couldn’t tell it wasn’t the bassist.

So... im sort of proud of myself. I send over the files, call the client, tell him to have a listen.

The client (the song is for a tv advertisement) is super happy with the job I did and says he will have his video guy send me a rough of the advert in the morning.

I just woke up, checked the inbox, and watched the advertisement. The part I played in was edited out in the final version.

I called up the client, worried that I might not have done as good a job as I thought. You know, these types of situations can really bring out the insecurities in us musicians.

He thanked me for the follow up, said he was delighted with the job I did, but told me since they didn’t use my edit they now want to renegotiate the price (they paid upfront).

Me: so you liked the sound design and performance and the way I was able to fix the song?

Him: yes. You did a great job. We will use you again in the future!

Me: thanks for the kind words. I’d really like that. Why didn’t they use the part in the final advertisement?

Him: the song was too long. That’s why I think we need to talk money.

Me: you know, I didn’t write the song. I just replayed the part and fixed the bad recording.

Him: that’s not relevant.
Old 12th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6430
Gear Nut
 
Alex Banks's Avatar
Unrealistic expectations

Not exactly heard in the studio but read.

I've had plenty of email that start; "We're really well rehearsed, do we have to book a whole day?"

This is the best one yet.
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Stupidest things you have ever heard during a session-screen-shot-2019-03-12-14.24.46.jpg  
Old 12th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6431
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Banks View Post
Not exactly heard in the studio but read.

I've had plenty of email that start; "We're really well rehearsed, do we have to book a whole day?"

This is the best one yet.
Well, one hour was enough for Tom Lehrer to produce a complete album which was a cult hit in the day, so it's possible...

"Songs by Tom Lehrer was recorded in a single one-hour session on January 22, 1953, at the TransRadio studio in Boston for the total studio cost of $15. The first pressing was an issue of 400 copies, produced at Lehrer's own expense in the 10" LP record format. Records were sold for $3.50, and later $3.95. Later releases were issued in 10" and 12" LP format."

I love the "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" story here:
Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia
Old 12th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6432
Gear Head
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Banks View Post

This is the best one yet.
Do you respond to inquiries like this?
Old 12th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6433
Lives for gear
 
norfolk martin's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Russell Dawkins View Post
Well, one hour was enough for Tom Lehrer to produce a complete album which was a cult hit in the day, so it's possible...

"Lehrer paid $15 for some studio time to record Songs by Tom Lehrer. The initial pressing was 400 copies. . . . He sold his album on campus at Harvard for $3 (equivalent to $28.00 today)"

Those were the days . . . . . Now, your first album costs $1,500 to make and you give it away online.
Old 12th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6434
Gear Nut
 
Alex Banks's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by dug dog View Post
Do you respond to inquiries like this?
Absolutely! Work is work... I say thanks for getting in touch and can we schedule a call sometime?

Without knowing what the job is, it may be possible to get many tracks done in 3 hours. Or it may not.

If I think its not feasible I use my stock response: "You may have to manage your expectation regarding the final result".

Some ghost, some take a package deal.

Alex
Old 13th March 2019
  #6435
A LITTLE off topic.... This are two of the dumbest things I ever heard from a soundguy as an artist.


1. We JUST set up our gear onstage, and I start to check my vocals, and I know right off the bat, that I will need a lot more vox in my wedge, so I ask the guy for more vocals in my monitor, and he replies, "I need to hear how loud the band is first before I turn you up."

I am not asking to be louder in the MAINS, but in my wedge, which he cannot hear anyway... Take my word for it dude.....



2. I show up at the venue, with my bass rig (Behringer head into Ampeg 8x10 cab). Sound guy gets a DI out of my sansamp, and he immediately says, "Give me the lowest possible volume you can give me."

I normally have the volume around noon for most shows, but for this guy, I set it to about 9oclock. This is already WAY too low to be comfortable.

Sound guy: "Can you bring it down more?"

Annoyed, I turn it down all the way...

Sound guy: "Okay! that sounds good. you guys start in 5 mins."

Needless to say... I was pissed. This was a decent sized bar with a pro stage and good sound system, NOT a case of me bringing an oversized rig to a tiny room. This guy just wanted NO stage volume.

I then proceed to unplug my amp and carry it off the stage to make a point....
Old 15th March 2019
  #6436
Lets keep on track with this threads lighthearted theme please
Old 15th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6437
Gear Guru
 
Brent Hahn's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by terr0rgasm View Post
A LITTLE off topic.... This are two of the dumbest things I ever heard from a soundguy as an artist.


1. We JUST set up our gear onstage, and I start to check my vocals, and I know right off the bat, that I will need a lot more vox in my wedge, so I ask the guy for more vocals in my monitor, and he replies, "I need to hear how loud the band is first before I turn you up."

I am not asking to be louder in the MAINS, but in my wedge, which he cannot hear anyway... Take my word for it dude.....
He wants to set the preamp (and maybe a compressor) based on how loud you sing. And he may be running the monitor sends post-fader. He's not necessarily being dumb.

Quote:
2. I show up at the venue, with my bass rig (Behringer head into Ampeg 8x10 cab)...
Some club situations are just really bad when it comes to low end (and even low mids) onstage. Sometimes the ideal amount onstage is indeed zero. Not practical with an 8X10, probably, but with something smaller you can turn it sideways or prop it up down in front so it blows back in your face.

The house sound guy knows the room and the bartenders and especially the owner; you're just visiting. Try to be a gracious guest.

Last edited by Brent Hahn; 15th March 2019 at 03:48 PM..
Old 15th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6438
Quote:
Originally Posted by terr0rgasm View Post

Needless to say... I was pissed. This was a decent sized bar with a pro stage and good sound system, NOT a case of me bringing an oversized rig to a tiny room. This guy just wanted NO stage volume.

I then proceed to unplug my amp and carry it off the stage to make a point....
If it's a bar, an 8x10 is too big. Big giant cabinets are for outdoor festivals and stadiums. Also, acting like a dork "to make a point" is not gonna go over with any sound guy, ever. Did you honestly expect him to suddenly go "oh jeez, you must be right! Plug it back in and dime the volume! What a fool I was!" Even if you think he's wrong, don't act like a bitch to your sound guy; it is the quickest way to a terrible sounding show.
Old 17th March 2019
  #6439
I got an interesting singer in today. He asked to sing in front of my studio monitors and hear himself through the monitors, he said he hates singing with headphones. He told me that when he sings with his band live, he doesn't need headphones. I asked if this was his first time in a studio, he said no...

Last edited by vsthalion; 17th March 2019 at 07:54 AM..
Old 17th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6440
Gear Nut
 

Great topic! There was a talent show in town. An hour before the curtain-raiser, The organizer goes on stage to perform a few vocal tests with the mic, and asks me to tweak the EQ accordingly. I tell him this is pointless because he doesn't have the same voice than the anchorman. He gets angry. "No I feel we need more low-mediums, maybe a slight boost around 300khz". The guy was talking like an audio pundit. I shrug my shoulders and do what he wants: a two-millimeters move on the right knob. The organizer then keeps adjusting inaudible details and leaves the room happy.
Old 17th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6441
Lives for gear
 
andersmv's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Donedeal0 View Post
Great topic! There was a talent show in town. An hour before the curtain-raiser, The organizer goes on stage to perform a few vocal tests with the mic, and asks me to tweak the EQ accordingly. I tell him this is pointless because he doesn't have the same voice than the anchorman. He gets angry. "No I feel we need more low-mediums, maybe a slight boost around 300khz". The guy was talking like an audio pundit. I shrug my shoulders and do what he wants: a two-millimeters move on the right knob. The organizer then keeps adjusting inaudible details and leaves the room happy.
My response is to usually play like I'm doing something and then say "How's that?" It's amazing how doing nothing usually fixes those kinds of problems.
Old 17th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6442
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andychamp's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by vsthalion View Post
I got an interesting singer in today. He asked to sing in front of my studio monitors and hear himself through the monitors, he said he hates singing with headphones. He told me that when he sings with his band live, he doesn't need headphones. I asked if this was his first time in a studio, he said no...
That way of recording vocals isnt‘t unheard of.
With the right mic and placement, bleed can be minimized. And bleed doesn‘t even matter if it helps get a better performance out of the singer.
Old 17th March 2019
  #6443
"Let's punch in that solo, I can do it better."
Old 17th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6444
Quote:
Originally Posted by andychamp View Post
That way of recording vocals isnt‘t unheard of.
With the right mic and placement, bleed can be minimized. And bleed doesn‘t even matter if it helps get a better performance out of the singer.
Ideally you flip the phase of one of the speakers and put the singer in the middle, it works to a degree.
Old 17th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6445
Hmmm with the monitors blasting and him right in front of them and the risk of feedback blowing my tweeters no thanks. And then there’s the compressor bringing up the background noise and phase problems when u mix later, again no thanks. No mic and placement can stop that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by andychamp View Post
That way of recording vocals isnt‘t unheard of.
With the right mic and placement, bleed can be minimized. And bleed doesn‘t even matter if it helps get a better performance out of the singer.
Old 17th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6446
Lives for gear
 
andychamp's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by vsthalion View Post
Hmmm with the monitors blasting and him right in front of them and the risk of feedback blowing my tweeters no thanks. And then there’s the compressor bringing up the background noise and phase problems when u mix later, again no thanks. No mic and placement can stop that.
While you're on this site, search this technique, you might learn something new.
Or don't. I have no stake in this.
Old 17th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6447
Gear Guru
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by vsthalion
Hmmm with the monitors blasting and him right in front of them and the risk of feedback blowing my tweeters no thanks. And then there’s the compressor bringing up the background noise and phase problems when u mix later, again no thanks. No mic and placement can stop that.
Whether you like it or not, it is a respectable technique. It certainly does not belong in the "Stupidest Things" thread.

Unless you consider the following people also "stupid" for using the exact technique described

Bjork
Bono
Michael Crawford
James Hetfield
Prince
Paul Rodgers
Pretty much anything from Motown before the 70’s

Here is Daniel Lanois from our own archives on the recording of Joshua Tree:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel Lanois
We used a Beta 58 not a 57. The feedback to print ratio is relative to the output volume of your singer. A quiet singer then singing to a PA is a bad idea. Bono's a powerhouse singer which automatically reduces the amount of spill and feedback. This technique is good for him because he likes to be juiced up to get that stage feeling. He's a performer, he needs his PA. Regarding feedback try this... lower the volume of your speakers and don't put the vocal in the monitors at all. You won't get feedback and you have the advantage of the singer having better pitch. This is a technique I use all the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Musiclab View Post
Ideally you flip the phase of one of the speakers and put the singer in the middle, it works to a degree.
or run a "cancellation pass" of the bleed with the singer standing in front of the mic, but not singing.


50% of this thread is people calling something "stupid" just because they never heard of it. Ha ha. Not funny. 25% of the thread is people like me complaining about that and feeling obligated to correct misinformation. Also not funny. 15% of the thread is people in the first category doubling down on their original position and arguing about it. Still not funny.

That leaves only 10% of actual humor in the thread.
Old 18th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6448
Wow you must have a lot of time on your hands to quote those posts.. But the situation was diff, I did not have a prince or a bono. I had a really soft rock singer but anyways. The mic his producer wanted was a u87 and NOT a 58.... The technique is cool and my post prob doesn't belong in the stupidest things thread but, for ppl who never used that technique, it certainly rings some question marks especially w a u87 infant of a pair of barefoots blasting. I love how there's always the post police who just love to prove someone wrong at all costs.



Quote:
Originally Posted by joeq View Post
Whether you like it or not, it is a respectable technique. It certainly does not belong in the "Stupidest Things" thread.

Unless you consider the following people also "stupid" for using the exact technique described

Bjork
Bono
Michael Crawford
James Hetfield
Prince
Paul Rodgers
Pretty much anything from Motown before the 70’s

Here is Daniel Lanois from our own archives on the recording of Joshua Tree:






or run a "cancellation pass" of the bleed with the singer standing in front of the mic, but not singing.


50% of this thread is people calling something "stupid" just because they never heard of it. Ha ha. Not funny. 25% of the thread is people like me complaining about that and feeling obligated to correct misinformation. Also not funny. 15% of the thread is people in the first category doubling down on their original position and arguing about it. Still not funny.

That leaves only 10% of actual humor in the thread.
Old 18th March 2019
  #6449
"Here, hold my beer."
Old 18th March 2019 | Show parent
  #6450
Lives for gear
 
myles's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by joeq View Post

That leaves only 10% of actual humor in the thread.
But that 10%...

And then the 90% goes into the “Stupidest Thing You’ve Ever Heard on Gearslutz” thread, although Jules has a filter set up to prevent it ever starting, ‘cause it would eat up so much server space.
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