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Stupidest things you have ever heard during a session
Old 25th February 2010
  #3571
Gear Head
 
Flamiel's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by JulianFernandez View Post
Jaja, classic!
Nice to have you here man... I respect your work, so I´ll be looking foward for your contributions to this forum...

btw, I assume that you already know HouseofDrumming . com, right? THE place for Vinnies fans on the net...
Thanks dude! Vinnie is KING!

BLUSHDA!!
Old 25th February 2010
  #3572
Lives for gear
 

"why doesn't the bass sound really thick"

" You're using a Roland cube, they don't have that sound"

"but when we play live it sounds huge......"

"that would be the 10K of PA"

"Ohh............"



and yes I did tell him to use the studio Ampeg rig - wasn't having none of it
Old 25th February 2010
  #3573
Gear Guru
Quote:
Originally Posted by 12ax7 View Post
Yeah, and I guess we should let 'em all in on the joke:

Link: Binary to Text (ASCII) Conversion
[/INDENT]
011011100110111101100010011011110110010001111001

0110110001101001011010110110010101110011

011000010010000001110111011010010111001101100101011000010111001101110011

And without screwing up the margins!heh
Old 25th February 2010
  #3574
Lives for gear
 
memphisindie's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
Produced a jingle-based radio spot last Friday.

Now it's Wednesday. I'm on a conference call with about 8 ad people on speakerphones. I have no idea who most of them are.

The ship date's today, and someone has decided the spot needs to be resung. Of the three singers, one's in New Hampshire, another can't do it until next week and the third hasn't returned my call.

A young female voice pipes up: "Can't you just do something digital?"
Now you know who the midget with the big hat that's running the show from the trailer is!!
That same broad.
YEOWWW!
Old 25th February 2010
  #3575
Lives for gear
 
JulianFernandez's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flamiel View Post
Thanks dude! Vinnie is KING!

BLUSHDA!!
Hahaha, last night I was working on my swiss army triplets in fact!
Old 25th February 2010
  #3576
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynn Fuston View Post
How does someone make it through over a year of audio engineering training and not know the names Neve or SSL? Troubling times.
Along these lines, an acquaintance asks me if I would recommend budget mics and preamp to a friend of his who he claims is a professional recording engineer who is presently working on an audio restoration project. I may be a chronic gear-ho, and I do get that not everybody knows every bit of kit on the market, but I can't imagine a professional engineer needing the same kind of help an MI salesman would give to a hobbyist. So I'm thinking something's wrong - perhaps my friend doesn't really know what a professional engineer is.

To make a long story boring, several emails go back and forth. I ask what his setup is and what he's trying to accomplish musically. Apparently, he just wants to record voice and acoustic guitar. Also, he tells me that he's working on an audio restoration project and has an HD system and a C24 at work - but after spending 8 hours a day on his job, he doesn't want to stay in the studio to record. Turns out he has an Mbox at home, and wants me to recommend vocal and instrument mics, preamp, compressor, 16-channel mixer, and a "digital keyboard with weighted keys." So here's a short but very disconcerting email conversation. (PE = Professional Engineer)

Me: So what kind of music are we talking about recording."
PE: Nothing complicated, just voice and acoustic guitar."
Me: Simultaneously?
PE: Yes.
Me: Then why do you need a 16-channel mixer?"
PE: . . . . . . . . . .
Me: Okay, so you want mics, pre, compressor, mixer, and possibly a keyboard with weighted action – what's you're budget?
PE: I don't want to spend more than $500.
Me: What I would like to have said: At present, I don't think there's a Salvation Army store for pro audio gear, but I think there may be a Toys 'R' Us nearby - I'm sure they'll have something for you.
Me: What I really said: ??????????????

Meanwhile, I still can't fathom how a working "engineer" doesn't have a clue about what to buy for his home studio, what equipment costs, and more astoundingly, what equipment is necessary for his application. Is DeVry offering courses for Pro Tools operators now instead of CAD?
Old 25th February 2010
  #3577
pan
Lives for gear
 
pan's Avatar
 

the blind test

Checking different mics for a production with a guy that will come in sporadically to track his album in his spare time. (we have fixed an hourly rate

So we try 2 LDCs and 2 dynamic mics. The dynamics are clearly a winner (I played him the tracks in a blind test, not revealing wich was each mic)

So we settle for a mic that compliments his voice in all different aspects:
quiet singing, loud passages and piercing screams.

He asks, what mic we will use, and I tell him, it's an Electrovoice.
He has never heard of Electrovoice and he insists in using the U87 that has been praised by all his friends and big engineers that helped him produce his album. (It is the only "professional" mic he has ever sung into)

Needless to say, that the first and unanimous exclusion from the blind test was the U87...

So we will continue, when he has asked his advisors, what mic to use
Old 25th February 2010
  #3578
Lives for snowflakes
 
12ax7's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by pan View Post
Checking different mics for a production with a guy that will come in sporadically to track his album in his spare time. (we have fixed an hourly rate

So we try 2 LDCs and 2 dynamic mics. The dynamics are clearly a winner (I played him the tracks in a blind test, not revealing wich was each mic)

So we settle for a mic that compliments his voice in all different aspects:
quiet singing, loud passages and piercing screams.

He asks, what mic we will use, and I tell him, it's an Electrovoice.
He has never heard of Electrovoice and he insists in using the U87 that has been praised by all his friends and big engineers that helped him produce his album. (It is the only "professional" mic he has ever sung into)

Needless to say, that the first and unanimous exclusion from the blind test was the U87...

So we will continue, when he has asked his advisors, what mic to use
I always thought most folks would like the sound of an EV RE-20 alot more if you modded it by moving the decimal point on the price tag one digit to the right!
Old 25th February 2010
  #3579
pan
Lives for gear
 
pan's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by 12ax7 View Post
I always thought most folks would like the sound of an EV RE-20 alot more if you modded it by moving the decimal point on the price tag one digit to the right!
I just bought a suspension for the RE20 - it looks 10 times better already!
Old 25th February 2010
  #3580
Lives for gear
 
SeniorityFedup's Avatar
 

good point, also with the sm7b. its on many platinum recordings such as the re20.
Old 25th February 2010
  #3581
Quote:
Originally Posted by 12ax7 View Post
I always thought most folks would like the sound of an EV RE-20 alot more if you modded it by moving the decimal point on the price tag one digit to the right!
That's a killer mod.

Got one:

Bassist, getting ready to play through a mic'd up cabinet, sees me turn on my LA-610: "You're putting ME through a preamp? Why?!"
Old 25th February 2010
  #3582
Deleted User
Guest
I overheard a guitar player asking a drummer 'whats the stupidest thing you have ever heard in the studio"?

HA
Old 8th March 2010
  #3583
Here for the gear
 
Tim B's Avatar
 

Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by stayne View Post
so this guy shows up at this crummie studio i'm working at on hollywood blvd. in 1980. his name is oscar.

he's got a strat that has a few bass strings on it and he's playing it upside down like hendrix. he wants to cut a quick track live.

this could be one of the top ten WORST things i have ever been involved with..

*Reaches for Strat & new set of bass strings* - this is gonna rock!
Old 8th March 2010
  #3584
Gear Maniac
 
kilroyrock's Avatar
i got another

When this happened, it reminded me of another post I read earlier. sort of a "me too!" moment:


working with this band last month. they are a punk rock, alkaline trio meets living end. Not exactly what's playing on the radio, or ever will.

just finishing up tracking, the bass player starts jumping up and down with glee, and then says "Man! If this record doesn't get us signed, I'm quitting!".

If it was only that simple.
Old 8th March 2010
  #3585
Here for the gear
 
Tim B's Avatar
 

It never ends

Wannabe Hip-hop producer client, after 5 mins in the studio.
Points at midi controller keyboard that's hooked up to logic.
Says "yo man, is that where you keep the tunes"

Also -

At a very respected pro audio dealers place in London I overhear a member of staff explaining to someone that the reason it was important to have a decent thickness of speaker cable was simply to maximise the transmission of the signal. Now this place isn't really open to the public, it's kind of hidden away, so presumably this guy had something to do with the business.

Guy looks confused for a second, and then says with confidence to the staff member "But that's why you get too much of the BAD signal as well as the GOOD signal"????!!??

Beware THE BAD SIGNAL!!!!!
Old 9th March 2010
  #3586
0110100100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001100001
01100110011001010110010101101100011010010110111001100111001000000000110100001010
01110011011011110110110101100101001000000110111101100110001000000111010001101000011001010111001101100101
0111001101110100011011110111001001101001011001010111001100100000011000010111001001100101
01101101011000010110010001100101001000000111010101110000
Old 9th March 2010
  #3587
Gear Nut
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Fader View Post
me: "your timefeel sucks bigtime, shakey as a$s"
drummer: "I always stick to the bassplayer"
me: "oh. could you stick to the metronome now?"
drummer: "what's a metronome?"

client: "maybe we should try another snare?"
me: "..."
client: "maybe we should try another hihat?"
me: "..."
client: "maybe we should try another bassline?"
me: "..."
(ten hours later)
client: "maybe we should stick to your original mix. It was great."

dj: "the kick's gotta be HUUUUGE!"
me: "like this?"
dj: "yeah, perfect, and the bass's gotta be SLAMMMIN'!"
me: "like this?"
dj: "yeeeah, superb, and the pad's gotta be KILLLLAH PHATT!"
me: "like this?"
dj: "yeeeeeeah, it's there, and the kick's gotta be HUUUUUUUUGE!"
...
HAHAHAHHA I Love this one!
Old 9th March 2010
  #3588
Lives for gear
 
Space Station's Avatar
Bass player who is playing out of time complains to drummer "seeing your arm going up and down is throwing me out"
Old 9th March 2010
  #3589
Gear Guru
Quote:
Originally Posted by imaginaryday View Post
0110100100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001100001
01100110011001010110010101101100011010010110111001100111001000000000110100001010
01110011011011110110110101100101001000000110111101100110001000000111010001101000011001010111001101100101
0111001101110100011011110111001001101001011001010111001100100000011000010111001001100101
01101101011000010110010001100101001000000111010101110000
49 27 6d 20 6e 6f 74 20 73 6f 20 73 75 72 65 2e 20 49 27 76 65 20 73 65 65 6e 20 73 6f 6d 65 20 70 72 65 74 74 79 20 64 75 6d 62 20 73 68 69 74 20 69 6e 20 6d 79 20 74 69 6d 65 2e
Old 9th March 2010
  #3590
Lives for gear
 
sleeper1400's Avatar
 

had a great b day gift this year,

we had a wanna be rapper in and he was TERRIBLE.

no clue.


thats all good though.

anyway, for some reason, he decided my 36 yr old skinny pot smoking post grunge business partner should help him sing the hooks to this "club hit" the hook was 'shake it, when you move it'

so, i kept having my partner get closer to the mic, and to sing lounder...haha.
it was great because he couldnt complain in front of a client.

i messed with him for a good 10 minutes.
all the while the rapper thought it sounded great!

all in all, the customer was happy, i got good laugh. and all was good.
Old 9th March 2010
  #3591
Lives for snowflakes
 
12ax7's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sleeper1400 View Post
had a great b day gift this year,

we had a wanna be rapper in and he was TERRIBLE.

no clue.


thats all good though.

anyway, for some reason, he decided my 36 yr old skinny pot smoking post grunge business partner should help him sing the hooks to this "club hit" the hook was 'shake it, when you move it'

so, i kept having my partner get closer to the mic, and to sing lounder...haha.
it was great because he couldnt complain in front of a client.

i messed with him for a good 10 minutes.
all the while the rapper thought it sounded great!

all in all, the customer was happy, i got good laugh. and all was good.
I can't wait 'till NEXT WEEK, when your "36 yr old skinny pot smoking post grunge business partner" logs onto this thread to tell the tale of how he got you back!

(Payback's a BITCH!)
Old 12th March 2010
  #3592
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Space Station View Post
Bass player who is playing out of time complains to drummer "seeing your arm going up and down is throwing me out"
Wow. That's a good one.
Old 12th March 2010
  #3593
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by mikethedrummer View Post
One of my first sessions,

Guitarist didn't bring a tuner so I turned on my synth

"Here is an A"

After about ten seconds of a blank stare.

"What?" "How do I do that?"

me: "Second string dude..."

"I don't get it..."


"give me your guitar..."

I went and bought a tuner the next day
Golly,
Old 12th March 2010
  #3594
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark Kaufman View Post
I think there should be a band called Lame Is Rob.
I once heard someone seriously claim that as favorite musical.
Old 12th March 2010
  #3595
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg Curtis View Post
It's a known psychoacoustic phenomena that we tend to hear higher, louder pitches at a higher pitch. Play a 5kHz sine wave, and go from 50dB to 100dB, and see what happens.

So, singers singing against loud bands or loud headphones on will sound flat. Hear it all the time...
You have it backwards. Think about it. Louder sounds like lower pitch.
Old 13th March 2010
  #3596
Registered User
 
audioguynyc's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by 12ax7 View Post
I can't wait 'till NEXT WEEK, when your "36 yr old skinny pot smoking post grunge business partner" logs onto this thread to tell the tale of how he got you back!

(Payback's a BITCH!)

HAHAHAHA
Old 13th March 2010
  #3597
Lives for gear
 
larry b's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sleeper1400 View Post
had a great b day gift this year,

we had a wanna be rapper in and he was TERRIBLE.

no clue.


thats all good though.

anyway, for some reason, he decided my 36 yr old skinny pot smoking post grunge business partner should help him sing the hooks to this "club hit" the hook was 'shake it, when you move it'

so, i kept having my partner get closer to the mic, and to sing lounder...haha.
it was great because he couldnt complain in front of a client.

i messed with him for a good 10 minutes.
all the while the rapper thought it sounded great!

all in all, the customer was happy, i got good laugh. and all was good.
So, when can i expect to hear this being bumped at Club Divine? hehheh
Old 14th March 2010
  #3598
Here for the gear
 

recorded a metal band this week.

My question at the end of the session: "so when do you wanna come back to track bass?"

Guitarist: "Why, is that important?"
Old 14th March 2010
  #3599
Lives for gear
 

I had this young band in the studio. all playin the real rockstar lifestyle and all.
so i wanted to track the bass and of course the bass player forgot his tuner... so we tried it with the tuner in logic. but he tunes his bass down to like G or something, cuz it sounds phatter :D

so then he tunes the bass by ear and we start recording. after the first take i say. "hey sorry but it just sounds terribly out of tune, can you retune?"

he says "Well thats my sound. I want a dirty, raw sound!"

me: ok, lets do the song in 1 take, ill mix it in 5 minutes and u got your raw sound :D
Old 15th March 2010
  #3600
Lives for gear
 
weezul's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by dontfearthringo View Post
This does remind me of something that just leaped out of my mouth before I could stop it on a session I was engineering:

I was recording a metal band from way north of here, up in the hills of NoGa. Young guys with no studio experience and a drummer who apparently felt like he needed to present six PRISTINE drum heads to St. Peter in order to get into heaven. I mean, his drums would have been louder if he'd just coughed on them.

HOWEVER, he hit the hi-hat like it had said something nasty about his grandmother.

AND, his tempos sounded like he was trying to kill a swarm of yellowjackets.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the rest of his band thought he was the greatest metal drummer of all time.

When they said to me "ISN'T HE AMAZING!??!?!"

I said, "Urm, YES. His drumming is... amazing... it has this... timeless quality..."

And they all high-fived and said "HELLYEAHMAN. HELL ****ING YEAH... TIMELESS!!!"
best. story. ever
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