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Stupidest things you have ever heard during a session
Old 18th June 2009
  #3001
Lives for gear
 
loujudson's Avatar
Perhaps what you need is a plugin. Or is it a strapon? I ain't telling.
L
Old 18th June 2009
  #3002
Lives for gear
 
theblotted's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Eppstein View Post
We're not allowed to discuss that piece of gear in this forum.....
whirrrrr.. heh

i've layered in some porn samples underneath vocals and other inst to get another "dimension" before.. i sure enjoyed the research part. tutt



Quote:
Originally Posted by monomer View Post
I dunno...
If there were no bad musicians then i guess at least 70% of the engineers would have had other day time jobs..
i was thinking the same thing. i'm okay with editing and autotuning, cuz it creates jobs for us; esp in this economy..
Old 18th June 2009
  #3003
Gear Maniac
 
Black Dirt's Avatar
 

someone farted once during a take - all acoustic instruments, improv trio
when we were playing the track back, i was like, "what is that?!?!" thinking it was a glitch or something
rolled it back, listened again... there it was... toot!
the guilty party finally fessed up
we were all, literally, rolling around on the floor for like 10 minutes laughing ourselves to tears
fart humor... never gets old...
toot!
Old 18th June 2009
  #3004
Lives for gear
 
loujudson's Avatar
When I was in high school I did a sound collage with a friend, and we had a girl I knew make orgasmic sounds for the piece. I thought it sounded great, and we were ALL virgins at the time... I wish I remembered what I said while coaching her to sound that way! Sigh... innocent times.

Lou
Old 18th June 2009
  #3005
Lives for gear
 
badboymusic's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by maskedman72 View Post
What is the stupidest thing you have ever heard a "client" say during a session???
Damn, the switch on my Fulltone pedal broke. I'll have to send an email to Mr. Fuller, he's so nice I'm sure he will help me out.
Old 20th June 2009
  #3006
Lives for gear
 
Storyville's Avatar
I had a client come in with a song she wrote, and her singer friend. Her singer friend brought her children...... but they were very polite kids so I let it go. The song is dippy as hell, and the singer sounds trained, but her intonation is terrible, and her delivery is like she had never sung the song before. Because she hadn't. The song writer had given it to her the night before.

At the end of the session, we had the vocals tracked out. They sounded.... passable.... but a little rocky without doubt.

Turns out the singer hadn't really practiced since she had her first son, ten years prior.

So here we are, with a 2-track Rnb beat, poorly mixed by some schmuck with a motiff (yep even those cardboard drums), a singer who hadn't sung in ten years and had first seen the damn song the night before, and me in my home studio (which in all fairness isn't a terrible setup, but it's certainly not a pro facility), and the song writer has the nerve to ask me......

...do you think it's good enough to be on the radio?

My answer was: It could be. Depends on how it is marketed and if you have the money to promote it.

My answer should have been: It's not good enough to be played on my speakers.
Old 20th June 2009
  #3007
Here for the gear
 

I just need a bit of direction

I tracked a lead vocal (male rock) last year. He did a couple of takes - sounded random. I asked if he had a specific melody worked out. He said "No. I think I just need a bit of direction" ... in other words he wanted me to work a melody out for him ...
Old 20th June 2009
  #3008
Today :

Guest sound guy, small room for 150 people, some ****ty music school show. I`m just helping to connect everything, nothing more.

He tells me that there will be drum kit in one song :

me: there`s no really need to amplify drums here, it`s small room, MAYBE just bass drum
he: naaaah, I didn`t took noise gate
me:
Old 20th June 2009
  #3009
Lives for gear
 
loujudson's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyjanopan View Post
Today :

Guest sound guy, small room for 150 people, some ****ty music school show. I`m just helping to connect everything, nothing more.

He tells me that there will be drum kit in one song :

me: there`s no really need to amplify drums here, it`s small room, MAYBE just bass drum
he: naaaah, I didn`t took noise gate
me:
Need new thread - stupid sound guy comments? Or grammar challenged - did he actually say "took" instead of bring? Mebbe he din't brung a cormpressar.
L
Old 20th June 2009
  #3010
english is not my first language, not even second, so easy
Old 20th June 2009
  #3011
Lives for gear
 
loujudson's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyjanopan View Post
english is not my first language, not even second, so easy
No offense meant, just wondered if it was a quote from an English speaker. Funny though! A gate is one of the less essential pieces for that kind of show.
L
Old 22nd June 2009
  #3012
Lives for gear
 
loujudson's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuitarRuss View Post
Here's something I've been wondering about:

Why is it that pitch sounds so much worse on recordings than live? I remember being 12 years old in my first band and thinking things were pretty good - we put a little tape cassette in the middle of the room and pressed play at the rehearsal. After we press play... we all are looking at each other realizing how ridiculous the vocals sound.

Is it just the thinness of the sound? Or is there something else at play? Is it the fact that there is information overload? It would seem on the face of it that bad pitch would be more apparent at loud volumes, but it's far more obvious on the recording made on a handy-cam played at a quieter volume. Seems there must be a psycho-acoustic principal at work that is predictable.
It only sounds worse on playback to the singer or player - everyone else listening, live or memorex, knows it was off. When you are singing you hear differently, including inside your head.

Analogy: YOu wash yur face and comb your hair and think it's fine. Youy look in the mirror and maybe it isn't. Well, take a photo and look at it - looks different right? I think I look sort of okay but i HATE seeing pictures of me! Kinda like that.

So I imagine this stupid thing in a session: "What did you do to it? It was in tune while I was singing!"

L
Old 22nd June 2009
  #3013
Lives for gear
 

I would just say it's due to the overwhelming volume most kids play at when they are 12-25 years old. When you set up the recorder, I'll bet it was at a location that put a spotlight on the vocals... maybe close to the PA or next to the vocalist??

I get bands come in that are 20+ and say "wow lead guitarist, so THATS what you've been playing the entire time!"

Plus when you are concentrating on playing your part, you don't always notice other aspects of your band/group. You start to notice as you get older more, I think. You begin to notice sooner who is the weak link, or what needs to be improved.
Old 22nd June 2009
  #3014
Lives for gear
 
GuitarRuss's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by fooman View Post
I would just say it's due to the overwhelming volume most kids play at when they are 12-25 years old. When you set up the recorder, I'll bet it was at a location that put a spotlight on the vocals... maybe close to the PA or next to the vocalist??

I get bands come in that are 20+ and say "wow lead guitarist, so THATS what you've been playing the entire time!"

Plus when you are concentrating on playing your part, you don't always notice other aspects of your band/group. You start to notice as you get older more, I think. You begin to notice sooner who is the weak link, or what needs to be improved.
I posted this in the wrong thread... damn you guys are quick, I deleted it only a few minutes later!
Old 22nd June 2009
  #3015
Lives for gear
 
loujudson's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by GuitarRuss View Post
I posted this in the wrong thread... damn you guys are quick, I deleted it only a few minutes later!
This whole business is about timing...

L
Old 22nd June 2009
  #3016
Lives for gear
 

its sunday night... what else do I gotta do.
Old 22nd June 2009
  #3017
Lives for gear
 
Berolzheimer's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by fooman View Post
I would just say it's due to the overwhelming volume most kids play at when they are 12-25 years old. When you set up the recorder, I'll bet it was at a location that put a spotlight on the vocals... maybe close to the PA or next to the vocalist??

I get bands come in that are 20+ and say "wow lead guitarist, so THATS what you've been playing the entire time!"

Plus when you are concentrating on playing your part, you don't always notice other aspects of your band/group. You start to notice as you get older more, I think. You begin to notice sooner who is the weak link, or what needs to be improved.
You're correct that it's because of volume, but your explanation is off ore at least incomplete. The main reason is that we hear pitch less accurately at high volumes, our ears are less discriminating, so we have a wider range of what seems acceptable.
Old 22nd June 2009
  #3018
Lives for gear
 
Greg Curtis's Avatar
 

It's a known psychoacoustic phenomena that we tend to hear higher, louder pitches at a higher pitch. Play a 5kHz sine wave, and go from 50dB to 100dB, and see what happens.

So, singers singing against loud bands or loud headphones on will sound flat. Hear it all the time...
Old 22nd June 2009
  #3019
Lives for gear
 
andychamp's Avatar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Berolzheimer View Post
You're correct that it's because of volume, but your explanation is off ore at least incomplete. The main reason is that we hear pitch less accurately at high volumes, our ears are less discriminating, so we have a wider range of what seems acceptable.
Case in point:
I recently recorded doubled guitar parts with the gtr. player in the control room, and he wanted the monitors LOUD!!! The tuning seemed fine, at least then.
Yesterday I went about mixing the tracks, at something waaaay under 90 db (I could hear the external HD stuttering along), and on those guitars you could definitely tell wether or not he had retuned before the take.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg Curtis View Post
It's a known psychoacoustic phenomena that we tend to hear higher, louder pitches at a higher pitch. Play a 5kHz sine wave, and go from 50dB to 100dB, and see what happens. So, singers singing against loud bands or loud headphones on will sound flat. Hear it all the time...
The pressure/tension applied while singing also is a factor here.
Voice too loud in the phones -> singer holds back -> pitch drops.
Voice too low -> singer has to push-> pitch goes up.

EDIT: sorry, apparently there's no way to avoid the smileys acting like that.

Last edited by andychamp; 22nd June 2009 at 12:38 PM.. Reason: smiley interference
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3020
Gear Maniac
 

Sorry, Not a story about a session, hope someone finds it funny or atleast stupid, so here goes.

A pretty well known European singer came to Australia to tour minus his regular band. He hired my band to tour with him throughout all concerts which meant that we would have to learn all 30 or so songs he had in his set lists. This dude had a huge ego and had to feel like he was in control of everything, even the meals we ate, and absolutely hated anybody offering other suggestions. We weren't using a live drummer but rather a keyboardist playing arraanger keyboard with drums on board. The keyboardist was in charge of setting up all tempo's on his keyboards etc. After running through a few songs in rehearsal with the singer for the first time, to our amazement, the singer was actually pleasantly suprised at how well we learnt all his songs.

However, he stated "excellent boys, but something doesn't feel right", he was itching to find suggestions or complaints, one can say as he stood there stunned thinking for an eternity what suggestions he could make to improve what we were playing.
After a while he worked out what was wrong:

Singer: "Hey keyboard man, how many beats per minute is that rhythm?"

Keyboardist: "Oh pretty much how you had it on your cd.... at 120 bpm

Singer: "I've got it, we need to play this song at 121 bpm, it will feel and sound much better".
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3021
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jumbo View Post
Sorry, Not a story about a session, hope someone finds it funny or atleast stupid, so here goes.

A pretty well known European singer came to Australia to tour minus his regular band. He hired my band to tour with him throughout all concerts which meant that we would have to learn all 30 or so songs he had in his set lists. This dude had a huge ego and had to feel like he was in control of everything, even the meals we ate, and absolutely hated anybody offering other suggestions. We weren't using a live drummer but rather a keyboardist playing arraanger keyboard with drums on board. The keyboardist was in charge of setting up all tempo's on his keyboards etc. After running through a few songs in rehearsal with the singer for the first time, to our amazement, the singer was actually pleasantly suprised at how well we learnt all his songs.

However, he stated "excellent boys, but something doesn't feel right", he was itching to find suggestions or complaints, one can say as he stood there stunned thinking for an eternity what suggestions he could make to improve what we were playing.
After a while he worked out what was wrong:

Singer: "Hey keyboard man, how many beats per minute is that rhythm?"

Keyboardist: "Oh pretty much how you had it on your cd.... at 120 bpm

Singer: "I've got it, we need to play this song at 121 bpm, it will feel and sound much better".
Lead singers and Ego's thread worthy (someone make one)

Was at a wedding and there was a band there that had a name like ''The whatevers'' typical noob name.

Anyway, they obvioulsy played a load of weddings, they had keyboards, guitarist and a drummer and lead vox. The band was pretty tight, they would play Killers, Kings of Leon, and all the classic wedding songs after the meal.

They had decent equipment but a 20" kick that sounded like a saucepan and a snare that made you want to strangle yourself.

The lead singer had a massive ego, they played quite loud, he was so out of tune, he ornamented all his vocal lines to try and hide his singing but man was he out.

Then he says ''I'd like to dedicate this next song to myself'',....he also worked out the pretty drunk girls on the dance floor trying to flatter them.

Damn, I would not pay several grand to hear that guy at my wedding, because based on the ego I saw, they were charging £3000 minimum...pretty rich wedding but hell, I would maybe give each band member £6 an hour each because they were no virtuosos and were winging some well known songs.

They had a sound guy with them who just pushed faders and looked at the 6U rack they had, verbs, gates, comps, delays.

Such overkill.
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3022
Gear Maniac
 

I heard another cracker about this other european folk singer coming out to sing at a party as special guest entertainer. Since there was already an apparant quite versed band playing throughout the regular evening, the booking agent assured the singer that the musicians playing there would back him and that they were amazing, being able to play any style of folk music the singer wished. Little did he know that these guys had no formal training and were basically enthusiasts of folk music who taught themselves to play by ear.

After the mc introduced this distinguished guest singer, he took to stage ready to sing a folk standard.

Singer: "O.k boys, lets do this (folk standard) song in A minor key".

The band looking at each other puzzled

Piano Accordian Player: "So do we play using the white keys, or the black keys?"
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3023
Lives for gear
 
steelyfan's Avatar
 

This friend of mine who is rapper asked me if I would record his buddy who wanted to get a vocal down as a demo to give to these bigshots who made beats and whatnot to try to get them to produce him, so I said sure why not. He assured me I would enjoy the process:

Guy shows up and we import his track to work over (which made laugh already) and we get the mic set up. So the song plays and I recommend we get a little soundcheck together to get the levels right, cool, so he's going "Yea, umm.. yea. O>K>... yeeeaaa.... umm.. uuhh.. YEA YAAA.. ".

So I say "o.k. that's sounds good, lets give it a go", and he's just lookin at me, I cue the beginning of the song and get ready to capture a performance now that the SOUNDCHECK is over, his part comes up, and he lays out " "Yea, umm.. yea. O>K>... yeeeaaa.... umm.. uuhh.. YEA YAAA.. uhnn uuhnn huh huh ****, yea yea, ****. " .... like he was makin history or something on the mic, I mean he was REALLY into this. ...????

At this point I'm lookin at my friend who I am convinced is playing a joke on me because he knows how I am, and knows I'll verbally interrigate this fella if it's not. But I could tell it wasn't and my friend just gives me the "I had no idea" look .

So I look at the guy and say " It seems that you and Rob Zombie went to the same school of vocal approaches" to try and maybe lighten the mood because I was startin to think i was in the Twilight Zone and this guy was SO serious.

He looks at me with a serious a look and goes "Yea." LOL!

I did end up recording him though, and we even picked up a couple of beers to finish with. I told him not to worry about paying me, It was my pleasure. It really was funny and I had a good time. But I decided that day that was the last person I'll ever record, and considered it going out with a bang.
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3024
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greg Curtis View Post
It's a known psychoacoustic phenomena that we tend to hear higher, louder pitches at a higher pitch. Play a 5kHz sine wave, and go from 50dB to 100dB, and see what happens.

So, singers singing against loud bands or loud headphones on will sound flat. Hear it all the time...
that's an interesting point, right or wrong (I personally have never had that issue, I sing and can hear if I'm in tune no matter the volume of my voice or the playback or the band). But I certainly have experienced it with other singers.

what's your recommendation for headphone volume and tracking can mix for a singer who tends to sing a little bit flat at time (but who otherwise is a good singer and can certainly hear pitch well)? I have a situation like that right now and your ideas might help me out!

cheers,
Don
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3025
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by andychamp View Post

The pressure/tension applied while singing also is a factor here.
Voice too loud in the phones -> singer holds back -> pitch drops.
Voice too low -> singer has to push-> pitch goes up.
that's certainly a valid fact, I heard/experienced that a lot in my music school days and also on occasion in my professional days (which is a much longer period of time) in the years since with other singers. Good point, don't make the singer's voice so loud in the cans that they don't have to project, no projection with some singers = flat.

cheers,
Don
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3026
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrislpp View Post
Damn, I would not pay several grand to hear that guy at my wedding, because based on the ego I saw, they were charging £3000 minimum...pretty rich wedding but hell, I would maybe give each band member £6 an hour each because they were no virtuosos and were winging some well known songs.
You would maybe give each band member £6 an hour each ????????

speaking as a guy who worked as a pro wedding band member (and wedding string quartet member at other gigs) for many years, as someone who can show up and play the tunes well without more than a couple of rehearsals and not miss a change and play tightly and professionally, the minimum each band member would get paid was $100 and that was basically just to show up and maybe play for half an hour, actually more like show up and setup without playing more than one song. After that add an extra of minimum $50/hr per player, typically more like $75/hr per player.

And with string quartets there's typically zero rehearsal since all of the players in town can sight read instantly and perfectly and play well together since it's what we're trained in/experienced with since a young age, and the rate is about the same per player.

Lead singers come and ago, and many of them aren't worth their money at all... just get one of the instrumentalists to sing, they're probably great singers or at least can generally sing in tune. But on those occasions where a lead singer is better, get one who can sing WELL.

So I agree about the singer, but even with exchange rates etc, £6 an hour per player, whether or not the drummer's actual kit sucks, will get you nothing but amateur high school kids.

cheers,
Don
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3027
Lives for gear
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chrislpp View Post

''where's the audio files we recorded in session last week?''

Where did you put the session folder?

''I put the PTF file on my usb pen''


Me: *leaves room*

that IS funny :-).... but are you saying that you let your clients backup your sessions themselves and you didn't have a backup yourself on cd or dvd? I'm not quite getting that bit... but I love the PDF file on usb part!
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3028
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dkelley View Post
You would maybe give each band member £6 an hour each ????????

speaking as a guy who worked as a pro wedding band member (and wedding string quartet member at other gigs) for many years, as someone who can show up and play the tunes well without more than a couple of rehearsals and not miss a change and play tightly and professionally, the minimum each band member would get paid was $100 and that was basically just to show up and maybe play for half an hour, actually more like show up and setup without playing more than one song. After that add an extra of minimum $50/hr per player, typically more like $75/hr per player.

And with string quartets there's typically zero rehearsal since all of the players in town can sight read instantly and perfectly and play well together since it's what we're trained in/experienced with since a young age, and the rate is about the same per player.

Lead singers come and ago, and many of them aren't worth their money at all... just get one of the instrumentalists to sing, they're probably great singers or at least can generally sing in tune. But on those occasions where a lead singer is better, get one who can sing WELL.

So I agree about the singer, but even with exchange rates etc, £6 an hour per player, whether or not the drummer's actual kit sucks, will get you nothing but amateur high school kids.

cheers,
Don
I gave that figure because I think I am legally required in the UK to give over 22 yo's around that much (or just below it)

Considering they'll snatch a rogue wine/champagne or 3 as well as the bar being generally free, plus a very good meal that is not cheap....to play some tunes mediocre that's all I'm giving them.



I am not very generous to cocky people.
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3029
Gear Guru
Just to back Don up- a really good wedding band is a pretty impressive thing. The ability to cover a wide range of styles, plus a half hour Jewish set, Irish set, Italian set, Salsa set, etc etc, takes some serious musicianship. Those guys earn their bucks!
Old 23rd June 2009
  #3030
Lives for gear
Quote:
Originally Posted by monomer View Post
I dunno...
If there were no bad musicians then i guess at least 70% of the engineers would have had other day time jobs..
he didn't say there were no bad musicians... ;-)

Anyway, it seems to me that the problem is there's a really difficult transition with a lot of unknowns (at least the first few times) for most musicians to go into a studio and be told what to do when the whole process of becoming a musician is sitting alone and practicing for years under your own control with your own choices. Musicians have to build up their ego and self confidence as well if they're going to be successful, at least it seems that way from my experience. So anyway, that musician goes into a studio where the rec. engineer has to be in control of everything except the actual music making and it's really tough to understand. Rec. engineers have often been musicians in the past (and many still are), but musicians typically were "only" musicians (not engineers) before they first went into the studio.

There should be some kind of pamphlet for musicians going into the studio for the first time. Most of them only know what they see on TV, sit around smoking up, drinking, partying, getting blown in the vocal booth while tracking, grab the mic off the stand for your amazing vocal parts and the rec. engineer will say it's ok because you're just such an amazing talent LoL. All of that is bull, and musicians have no idea what the real experience is all about.

After writing that I just decided that I'm going to write just such a pamphlet... I think it would help a lot for people coming to work with me at least!

cheers,
Don
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