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Don't be the take-take-take kind of guy
Old 18th September 2019
  #1
Lives for gear
 

Don't be the take-take-take kind of guy

Think the title says it all. We live in a culture of "what's in for me if I do that" and of "how much can I take by giving the less amount back". This is not a healthy relationship with yourself and the people you interact with. It is not normal to be obsessed of making the most amount possible(could be money, knowledge, emotions, anything of value to you) without showing any gratefulness towards the people that help you get where you want.

For example there is this baker guy on youtube that gave instructions on how to make sourdough bread at home, I followed those instructions and the bread came out great, so I knew right away I have to provide some form of respect for his work, I left a nice comment on his channel and paid a small donation back. This behaviour should be normal, if you get something valuable, make sure you give something back, it doesn't have to be related to money, of course, but something that the other person will benefit from in some regards. You encourage him to give more so everyone wins in the end.

Also, you feel at peace with yourself, being grateful balances your emotions in a healthy way, it's a feel good kind of inner vibration, so let's not forget to say thank you to the people that enrich our lives. This is the real meaning of winning.
Old 19th September 2019
  #2
Lives for gear
 
boombapdame's Avatar
 

While @ AndreiPiatra that's noble America was built on a winner take all ethos not to mention me first and no one else attitude if you look at things from a capitalist lens. Does that mean we as individuals have to have a I got mine now you get yours approach? No, but even when people extend a hand in love only to get bitch slapped by hatred it's hard to feel sympathetic towards mankind.
Old 19th September 2019
  #3
Gear Guru
 
Brent Hahn's Avatar
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by AndreiPiatra View Post
... there is this baker guy on youtube that gave instructions on how to make sourdough bread at home, I followed those instructions and the bread came out great, so I knew right away I have to provide some form of respect for his work, I left a nice comment on his channel and paid a small donation back. This behaviour should be normal...
Is this normal for you? The kind of thing you do all the time?
Old 19th September 2019
  #4
Lives for gear
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by boombapdame View Post
While @ AndreiPiatra that's noble America was built on a winner take all ethos not to mention me first and no one else attitude if you look at things from a capitalist lens. Does that mean we as individuals have to have a I got mine now you get yours approach? No, but even when people extend a hand in love only to get bitch slapped by hatred it's hard to feel sympathetic towards mankind.
I couldn't discuss about US as a nation and its politics, this is out of my league, but sure, people are people, in general I think it's nice to offer something back to the ones that give you something in the first place without asking for anything in return. Feels good, too.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brent Hahn View Post
Is this normal for you? The kind of thing you do all the time?
Being grateful towards good people that enrich our lives in some ways feels nice, so yes, I do enjoy offering something back to this people, it feels right, not only nice. As mentioned, it doesn't have to be money, most of the time is a thank you note in some form, if it's face to face I'm making sure he absolutely gets my gratefulness, and it's also much more simpler to do because it involves gestures of all sort, I suppose it's a form of interaction that creates positive energy that we all benefit from, so why not?! They make me feel good, I make them feel good, win-win.
Old 22nd September 2019
  #5
Also don't be the give-give-give guy:
When others are not reciprocating, you are being taken for granted, seen as a weakness, or have a guilt complex over saying No.

It can be just as toxic to yourself and others.

From my experience, most people have a basic sense of emotional transaction. It is all about keeping the ledger balanced.
There can be those giving types who are bordering on manipulation, or deny themselves receiving love.
Which can be a type of control issue based on low-self esteem.

What I have learned from taking care of an animal, is she will choose first to satisfy her primary need for love and affection and THEN food and water comes secondary.
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